Akamatsuverse [Negima] It's Always the Quiet Ones

Reader458

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Very good. You got the conversations down pat and the story is moving along just fine.
 

marthf1

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Indeed. I suppose Zazie never actually did that - but it seems appropriate considering her shadowy companions.
 

mickl3

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

A mental picture of Zazie in a candlelit room, shadows looming over her as she held a pin over an Asuna doll, ready to strike.
hahaha now even I have that image in my mind XD

anyways, I like how you gave zazie the ability to make plushies. Just the thought of her holding one like that is way too endearing.

Hope for more whenever you get it done :3
 

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Mini snippet!

Shizuna sat in her apartment, dressed casually fingering the phone cord. "Ah, Yes. Good evening Prosopeio-san." the guidance counselor smiled a little. By the pause is seemed she was receiving a rather lengthy greeting. "I am doing well, though a few projects of mine are moving in unexpected directions.... Yes, I have spoken with Zazie I trust you have as well." She nodded to herself. "That's what I was thinking... when would be a good time for you?" She leaned back in her chair, idly playing with the phone cord.

"Breakfest at 9, the usual place. I should be able to swing that." she smiled a little to herself. "It's a date." she said in a playful tone. Listening to the reply she laughed softly. "flatterer... All right until then. Goodnight." she hung up stared up to the ceiling for a moment before she set to changing for bed, unaware of the small smile still on her face as she moved about.

1234321

Asakura leaned back in her desk chair going over her most recent video. It was late but the whole debacle was too much to pass up, leaving her too wired for sleep. There seemed to be some manner of triangle going on between Asuna, Zazie, and Negi... Judging by Negi's appearance it looked like Asuna really was aggressive in pursuing. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." she quoted wryly as the video moved on, Zazie walked into the scene, back to the camera but her trained eye could catch her tensing shoulders. It seemed the unflappable Zazie Rainyday had some emotions to her. "Wow... Asuna really looks intimidated. Hm?"

Kazumi paused and rewound, leaning forward to get a closer look. "There's something there..." Her finger types going through options she zoomed in on the window enhancing the blurry image. "Just a little..." she choked up a little when the picture came clear.

"...What..." A reflection in the window behind Asuna, Capture Zazie with a burning glare. Eyes glowing, literally, with malice. Inhuman. "What the hell am I seeing?" Asakura didn't know what to make of it... but this was one hell of a scoop.

end of chapter 3

and the Love potion chapter ends with a mix of things... the drama is just beginning. The next chapter will be very hard on zazie-chan... but from there things should start to look up more. More of Zazies mysteries will be revealed.
 

Ikari666

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Check finished, in your PM box.

You know, doing this has been interesting thus far, I might offer up my services on ff.n...
 

Zephyrus

Searching for the six-fingered man.
It's Always the Quiet Ones

An interesting fic, as it has coincided with my interests in the lesser known denizens of 3-A, namely, Zazie.

A quick question.....when will we see Chamo? If you plan on introducing the probationary contracts, he needs to make an appearance soon.
 

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

he doesn't show up for at least a month. the next bit is library island and he's after that appearing during the eva arc.
 

Zephyrus

Searching for the six-fingered man.
It's Always the Quiet Ones

A shame. I was always of the opinion that he should have appeared earlier in the manga. An ermine after my own heart.
 

Mev852

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Zephyrus said:
A shame. I was always of the opinion that he should have appeared earlier in the manga. An ermine after my own heart.
Yeah, but plot-wise he doesn't become important until the concept of a partner becomes important, so it actually is best to wait until then to bring the furry little perv into the equation.
 

Zephyrus

Searching for the six-fingered man.
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Mev852 said:
Zephyrus said:
A shame. I was always of the opinion that he should have appeared earlier in the manga. An ermine after my own heart.
Yeah, but plot-wise he doesn't become important until the concept of a partner becomes important, so it actually is best to wait until then to bring the furry little perv into the equation.
Admittedly, it's been a while since I've read the ealier arcs of the manga. I was somehow thinking he was present even during the Library Island arc. :sweat2:

Just out of curiosity, how are you going to pull off the Prob. Contract with Zazie? It could be argued that she obviously has a bond of some sort with her Shadow Masks, a bond that could possibly be disrupted by the Pactio bond. If I remember my general Rules of Fantasy correctly, it's a big no-no to attempt to make a bond of some sort with someone with another bond already in place.

This is all purely speculation of course, but something to consider.
 

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Zephyrus - she and the shadows are not 'bond' in the magical sense... nor must they obey every command she gives them. They have a reason and purpose all their own which will be revealed in time. There is no effect on her that will prevent a Pactio.

Chapter 4

After that first crazy week of Negi and Zazie's rooming situation things calmed down somewhat. They were hardly 'back to normal' for either but it had improved. Asuna seemed to be on speaking terms once more but there'd been no formal offer to come back to the room, her more subtle asking having completely missed the mark... even a child prodigy could be stupid after all. Zazie hadn't been hounded as bad, Haruna seemed to be biding her time and Kazumi seemed to be keeping her distance for some reason. If there was any buzz it had to do with a rather mysterious plushie that had appeared in seat one... Even if moved it would be right back on the seat come class time. Though cute it had been weirding some of the more skittish girls out. The local Miko, Mana, had confirmed that there was no evidence of spirits in the stuffed doll... but she promised to look into it.

Though with a 'challenge' from the headmaster the days leading up to the finals would be eventful to say the least. Negi awoke to a familiar warmth; his slowly waking mind cursed his sleepwalking. He could feel the weak hold of his roommate, her arms wrapped around him just as his was around her. He carefully opened one eye and was grateful to see a nightshirt barring view of her usually naked form. Despite her words in the past of not dressing for sleep since it was pointless she had taken to wearing a nightshirt to bed. She never gave a reason for the change, but for what ever reason it made waking up a bit easier. He shifted a bit to slip out of bed only to find himself being pulled back, her hug tightening. While far from 'well endowed' Negi could feel the unmistakable cushion of breasts as his face was pressed into her chest.

Fortunately it was for only a moment as Zazie gave a whisper of a yawn. She loosened her hold, passing a sleepy gaze to the blushing boy in her arms. "Good morning Sensei." her voice was softer and she still looked very tired. Normally the girl was quite the morning person, able to just 'be awake' the instant she opened her eyes.

"Um, Good Morning Rainyday-san." he replied with a light tremor of nervousness. Though it started to ebb as he took in her appearance. She looked pale, even her facial markings shared a lighter shade. "Are you okay? You don't look so well..."

The girlÆs eyes traveled to a small calendar by the bed frowning lightly before snuggling back into her pillow with a soft grunt. "No good... stay in bed."

"Your not feeling good... oh man and I have a staff meeting this afternoon. Afterwards I'll come back and take care of you in the evening." he offered surprised to feel her tense up.

"No." her reply was much faster then expected.

"I insist, I don't get sick easily. I Just-"

"No..." She replied, though now with a measure of reluctance. "Short sickness... Just need rest," she explained softly. "Asuna-san and Konoka-san... stay with them." she paused; he could feel a light tremor in her body. "...Just for tonight..."

"Well... if your sure." The child teacher was getting concerned at Zazie's odd behavior. There was something else to it, but he didn't press and both feel into silence. After several minutes passed Negi spoke up. "Um Rainyday-san... I do need to get up... I have to teach."

The girl blinked and let go... apparently she had forgotten. "I apologize."

"Ha ha, it's okay Rainyday-san." Negi slipped out from the covers and grasp of his roommate into a much cooler room. He watched her snuggle closer in the blankets as he went about the room doing dressing and preparing his notes for class. He packed a little extra for his now apparent sleep over back in his old room. Shouldering the bulking pack he turned to the bed, Zazie had barely moved from her sleeping position. "Sleep Well Zazie-san... I'll check in on you in the morning okay?"

A hand peeked out of the bundle of blankets and gave a thumbs up... such a curious girl. Negi slipped on his shoes and took his leave. After she was sure she was alone Zazie slipped out of bed, her hair out of place and nightshirt hanging crookedly on her form. She shuffled over to the closet and looked into the full-length mirror. Lightly touching the familiar marks on her face, they were fading even as she watched them.

From all corners of the room masked shadows phased into existence. Zazie made no move to acknowledge them as they gathered, a dozen or so looming about in a semi circle. A small sigh escaped her lips as she turned scanning over the unchanging masks. "I know..." she answered the silent question. "I'm ready." she turned her eyes downward as the shadows moved in from all sides, enveloping her form as the room darkened into black.

end snippet

The plot thickens... again.

There will be a bit of original content before we jump into the library... and there will be a bunch of changes with the library as well. Expect some Zazie backstory to start popping up
 

Reader458

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Very nice!

This time I spotted some spelling and grammatical errors.
Haurna: Haruna
to familiar: to a familiar
A could feel: He could feel
Well far from: While far from

Apart from that it's a good piece and I almost cant wait to see where this will lead.
 

Orz

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Also, baring -> barring.

Unless Negi had a complete turnabout in personality and was glad that Zazie was showing all...
 

wingthesword

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Hi new on the thread great fic by the way, please keep updating
 

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Snippet!

The turn of events had been quite a surprise for Asuna. Despite all that transpired her biggest obstacle had recommended Negi visit and even spend the night. It had taken a good bit of will power to not jump at the offer but the smile he gave at her agreement to the stay did bring one of her own to the surface. These afternoon study sessions had done a good deal of work toward settling things between herself and the teacher though unfortunately weren't making the proper progress to getting far in actual studying... they were the baka rangers for a reason. Though Yue, the baka leader, professed to have a plan but that meeting would not be until tomorrow evening when she had gotten to check her sources. For now she found herself heading to a place she had never planned to venture.

"It's just a quick stop to see if she needs anything."

"She said she wanted to be left alone right?" she muttered, sometimes he could be so thick. "She likely wants some privacy."

"But Asuna-san..." she faltered a bit at his sorrowful look. He really did care for all members of his class. If the situations were reversed she honestly could picture him coming her way even if she professed the same reason. <i>stubborn kid...</i>

"Fine fine, it's not like it's a far distance to travel I guess." Just a ways down the hall after all.

"Thanks Asuna-san!" he smiled brightly, "I'm sure she'd be happy if a classmate came to see her."

"Uh... I don't think I'm the best representative in that regard." She muttered remembering the burning red glare quite clearly.

"Huh? I don't think that's the case," the child teacher stated calmly as they strolled down the dorm hallway. "Rainyday-san looks up to you."

"Eh?" Asuna's steps faltered a bit. "She does?"

"Yes." Negi nodded, "She's a very quiet girl but I believe she admires the more outgoing members of the class. Your very open and friendly with much of the class, something she wishes to be."

"Oh." the redhead hadn't thought much about her 'rivals' motivations or admittedly not in a positive light. "She told you that?"

"Not exactly, but I guess you could say I've gotten better at reading her." he scratched the side of his head chuckling a little bit. "She doesn't talk a lot, even after she warms up to you you just have to learn to read her to find out what she's saying."

"Really...hm." the pair fell into silence the last few moments until arriving at the door.

"I'll just peek in to see if she's sleeping." Negi whispered lightly turning the key opening the door enough to poke his head in.

"Looks dark in there." Asuna muttered. The child teacher tensed up. "What?"

"SomethingÆs not right." with hardly another word Negi entered, shifting the staff from his back.

"Negi?" Asuna followed in a step behind, the room was pitch black. A blurry figure could be made out in the corner, couched down unmoving. The darkness was heavy in the air, almost palatable and alive. Immediately She reached over and flipped the light switch, but got no results.

"Rainyday-san..." That child said carefully, he could clearly feel the magic in that air. "Why are you sitting in the corner?" he watched her head cock slightly to the side at his voice but she did not move from her position of staring into the corner. The Child teacher moved forward slowly eyeing the area around him.

"The frog in the well was happy." The girl whispered, seemingly to herself. Though the distant airy tone seemed to carry through the room. "It wasn't interested what was outside the well."

"Rainyday-san?" Negi frowned in confusion at the odd statement but did not halt his advance; ghostly masks seemed to fade in and out of his peripheral vision.

"The frog in the well was happy." She repeated, her head lolling to the other side. "It was recluse to anything that happened outside the well." Asuna could hardly repress the chill down her spine, watching Negi move closer to Zazie's odd position. Her muscles tensed she felt the need to move forward and stop him. There was something not right in this. Negi rested a hand on the girl's shoulder feeling her tense at the touch.

"You really should be laying down, it's not good for a cold."

"And you were happy." Zazie's voice gained an odd edge to it. Her hand came up and rested atop his own... "Because you didn't know what occurred outside the well." long spindly fingers curled around his wrist and she turned to look over her shoulder, Her face bore neither of her facial markings. Eye's red, glowing in the dim light. "Negi-sensei." her grip tightened as shadow tendril reached out from all sides.

"Negi!"

end snippet

If anyone knows where Zazie's poem is from I will be very impressed.
 

Reader458

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Yay snippet!
Only thing wrong with it is that you missed some capitals here:
"And you were happy." Zazie's voice gained an odd edge to it. Her hand came up and rested atop his own... "Because you didn't know what occurred outside the well." long spindly fingers curled around his wrist and she turned to look over her shoulder, Her face bore neither of her facial markings. Eye's red, glowing in the dim light. "Negi-sensei." her grip tightened as shadow tendril reached out from all sides.
It will be very interesting to see just what it is that is going on.
 

SMWhat

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

I believe that:

a) more people will know where those quotes are than you think.

and B) for these people, it's more distracting and humorous than...whatever mood you're trying to create.
 

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

SMWhat said:
I believe that:

a) more people will know where those quotes are than you think.

and B) for these people, it's more distracting and humorous than...whatever mood you're trying to create.
Hm, I was in the camp that the poem is indeed not well known. I know it's source well and I likely wouldn't have recognized it unless I read through a thread in animesuki. It seemed pretty creepy in my head but my imagination plays out these scenes like a movie so that might help...

I Guess I should Just come out and say it's from Higurashi, one of frederica bernkastel's.
 

Mev852

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

I didn't catch the reference, but I still thought it was interesting. I certainly didn't see that last snippet coming.
 

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

I managed to get a hold of Windfalcon last night and we hammered out the next part of Quiet ones... I did some proofing but it's still very rough. Likely still some spelling issue and I'm sure theres some grammar ones as well... also had to edit to keep Prosopeio's gender ambiguious (that's really the most annoying part to writing that character).

anyway warnings aside one with the shippet!

~

"Negi!"

"No, he's mine! Get away!"

"Ah!"

Crimson droplets trickled to the floor. Negi hissed in pain as he was pulled from from Zazie's frantic grasp, her long claws leaving trailing wounds down his forearm. He did his best to use magic to dull the pain. As his thoughts began to gather he started to notice a rather familiar feeling against his back. Asuna was holding the boy against her, both having fallen to the floor in the brief but harsh struggle.

"Negi, are you okay?" she asked sitting up.

"I think so..." they're eyes turned toward the wall where a struggling Zazie was restrained by shadowy tendrils. Hardly a coherent word came from the girl as she thrashed violently in the shadow's unwavering grip. He could feel Asuna tighten her protective hold.

"Just what the hell is going on?"

"I-I don't know... Rainyday-san... what's happened to you?"

"Dramatica Persona Theatrica! Ye Fiery Soul, Retreat from the world of Man to visit the Realm of Mab! Enchanted Sleep!" a familiar voice sounds out of nowhere, but the effects can be seen as Zazie staggers slightly. Her struggles weaken enough for the shadows to bind her properly. A blast of smoke mysteriously appears between Zazie and the two others in the room.

"What the-"

"Wait, that voice..." When the smoke clears, Prosopeio is seen, an ancient looking curved staff in the Ringmaster's hand pointed at Zazie.

"Tis unfortunate, but I fear my memory is slipping in my old age. Young Negi, Kagurazaka-san, are you both alright?" Asuna looked over the new arrival carefully.

Is that... another mage? Negi covered his wound.

"Don't worry this is nothing." he said rapidly, "But Rainyday-san...." he trailed off in concern looking to the feral girl now hanging limply in the shadows grasp.

"Yeah, what the hell is going on? why did she attack Negi?" Asuna finally found her voice but as the masked Mage's gaze settled her way she found herself wishing she hadn't spoken up. Prosopeio looks to Asuna and pointed the staff her way.

"Sadly, Kagurazaka-san... I cannot allow you to know. This is a matter for mages... not that you would know of them." a sinking feeling of deja vu filled her stomach as the mage began a spell. Though unlike the young mage in training's attempt there was a sureness to this... man's(?) voice.

"H-Hey hold on!" she swallowed only able to watch as the power built.

"Prosopeio-san wait!" Negi called out, trying to interpose himself between the caster and victim but it was too late.

"Dramatica Persona Theatrical! Ancient spirits of nature, purge this soul of the events of this day! Memory Erasure!" The tip of the staff started to glow... Only, instead of energy flying from the tip of the staff... a bright purple smoke billowing from the tip. "... w...what is this? The Spirits react strangely..." the tone seemed to imply a frown beneath the odd mask, a thick cloud of smoke enveloping both Asuna and Negi. Coughing the pair waved trying to clear the smoke, though even as it dissipated the pair were covered in a thick purple soot.

"Geez watch where you pull that stuff, you going to set off the sprinklers." she grumbled wiping the soot from her eyes.

"A backfire..." Negi gave a grateful sigh, but couldn't help but wonder a bit on why.

"Aw man... I'm going to have to take another bath now." the school girl muttered... at least she was still clothed.

"... You... bare some level of immunity?" Frowning, Prosopeio crossed arms.. before glancing at the door. "Shades of Zazira... Watch the door, ensure no one enters or overhears." white masks began to appear from all sides of the room.

"Immune?" Both Asuna and Negi said in a surprised unison. Asuna was quickly distracted by the white faces, hover over Negi unaware of his gaze turned her way.

Turning from the door, Prosopeio looked back at the two, before sighing. Moving to sit on a nearby chair, Prosopeio motioned to Negi and Asuna to find a place to sit. "Sit, both of you... Since I cannot affect Kagurazaka-san's memory, I'll have to rely on her sense of Honor. What I say does not get spread about... every word I tell you must be sworn to secrecy... else dark days will be ahead for everyone within the confines of this room.. am I understood?"

Negi Nodded, followed by a more hesitant Asuna... Her eyes traced the darkened room, chiefly between this strange masked man and the white faces that has appeared in the shadows. The day had certainly taken a turn for the strange... Just what have I gotten myself involved in? A soft hiss of pain brought her from her musings to turn her attention to her young companion. "Negi, we should really wash that out."

"I'm fine," The boy said stubbornly, eyes focused on Prosopeio, occasionally wavering to the unconscious Zazie. Asuna frowned but it slowly melted into annoyance as she saw his focus. She pulled a pillow cover off and took a hold of the injured. "Ow! Asuna!"

"Quit squirming, I'm just going to apply some pressure." She muttered using the cover to wrap around the scratches. She held the dressed wound in a firm but gentle grasp with both hands. "There, that should hold things off "

"Um... Thank you Asuna-san"

"Don't worry about it..." Prosopeio watched on silently until their conversation trailed off before beginning the explanation. A soft, feminine sigh left Prosopeio as the masked mage looked towards the wrapped Zazie.

"Again, I must apologize... I've never had to worry about others before when this happened... " Sighing softly, Prosopeio thought for a moment. "Zazie.. is not like others... She comes from the same realm I do... though even then she is rare within the Magic Country.

"Wait, Magic country?"

"It's kind of hard to explain... but there's another world of sorts. It's hidden and can only be reached by portals. Mages are plentiful and there are all sort of amazing things... I haven't gone there myself admittedly though..."

"oh..." Asuna blinked, she didn't even want to consider the prospects of another world on top of the other revelations today so she filed that information aside for later.

"Please continue Prosopeio-san." The mage nodded and took a deep breath.

"Zazie... Her lineage is one that causes much contention... and though she can barely tap into her birthright, she carries within her unfathomable power... Due to her bloodline, her sleeping powers grow unchecked every so often... Since this is the first time Zazie has lived away from me when this happened.. I had.. sadly.. forgotten. This is not her fault... so please... do not blame her."

"So what... Zazie is some kind of super mage I mean..." Asuna frowned "She doesn't look very... Human, right now." the claws and glowing eyes, it seemed beyond the kind of mischief she'd seen from Her young teacher. Something much more alien.

"Well... Non-humans are in abundance in Magic Country. In truth... though Zazie is humanoid... she is not human. Though her current appearance is merely a side effect of her uncontrolled powers. When her powers are sealed.. she is truthfully as strong or as weak as a normal human. Her powers stem from powerful, ancient magic... though she herself is not a mage. Human Magicks would be far too difficult for her honestly." Prosopeio's tone held a little reluctance, the mage was choosing words with great care. To give satisfactory answers but keep some details obscured.

"Oh..." Asuna muttered trying to wrap her head around it all. "Sealed? Hm, well now that I think about it even with the glowy eye thing she never seemed really... powerful." she noted. The quiet girl had always been rather middle of the road in sports, save gymnastics.

"A seal... You mean. The tattoos?" Negi did his best to piece things together.

"Hm?"

"Her tattoos, they looked faded this morning, I thought she was just pale from being sick. But look, there not there anymore." He pointed to the girl's unblemished face.

"You are correct Young Negi."

"But if she's sealed what's with all the shadows? I mean... those weren't yours running all around the campus before right?" Negi looked over a new niggling doubt coming to his mind.

The love potion... she shouldn't remember "Um no, I saw Zazie working with them." both sets of eyes turned back to the ringmaster.

"Those are not her power... those are.. gifts... servants that serve her mother. They are the Shades of Zazira. For reasons that must stay.. secret... her parents were forced to separate themselves from Zazie... but not without protection. As such... Zazira sent her Shades to guard and serve Zazie... as well as be her friends."

"Friends?" Asuna said dubiously glancing to some of the masks as they watched on. Negi couldn't help but feel a bit tight in his chest, memories of the hidden Box of presents, too timid to give.

"Will Rainyday-san be okay?" Standing up, Prosopeio glanced to Zazie and hummed softly.

"She will be... the Seals shall reinstate themselves once the Moon reveals itself again. Only during the night of the New Moon, when the Moon's face is completely hidden from the world, does the Seal lose its power. Now that you are aware of this Young Negi... you may be able to help her prevent this from happening." Moving to place a gentle hand on the sleeping Zazie's face, Prosopeio seemed to smile, the slight tilt of the head and gentle sigh seeming to reflect this. ".... For too long has she been afraid... I've done my best to reassure her... but because of the fear she has of harming others unintentionally, she is scared to make friends outside of those given to her by her mother. Her work at the Circus opens her up to others... but... I would be grateful if you and Kagurazaka-san helped her... " Glancing at Asuka and Negi, Prosopeio bowed slightly, lowering the head. "... please... help save her from her pain... and her loneliness..."

"...I had figured it was something to that effect" he sighed a little at the description of Zazie's relationships situation. "But I didn't realize it's seed was something like this..."

"I don't see how you could." His companion added, almost numb at this point. She'd learned more about her 'rival' in this conversation then she probably had any right too.

"Prosopeio-san, I promise... I will continue to do what I can to help." The boy mage said with no hesitation. The pressure on his wrapped wound grew as Asuna looked down, feeling uncomfortable with the heartfelt request.

"Um... I'll, I'll try to..." she muttered.

Thinking carefully, Prosopeio nodded.. before reaching a hand up and grasping the bottom of the everpresent mask. A small click was heard, before the lower half of the mask seemed to pull away, revealing the bottom of Prosopeio's nose and the entirety of the Masked Mage's mouth. Flashing a perfect smile, Prosopeio's voice seemed to ring almost melodically. "From the bottom of my heart... I thank you both."

"Prosopeio-san..." Negi gained a small smile of his own. "I won't let you down."

"I know you will not." The ringmaster's smile turned somewhat more bemused. "Now it has been a long night for you both I am sure. I will watch over Zazie tonight at my home. You need not worry, rest well and you will see her by tomorrow's morn."

"Okay," Asuna sighed, glad to have that responsibility lifted from her... she had a lot to think about. "But first we're going to the baths."

"Eh we?"

"I'm not going to leave purple smudges all over the room, besides we need to clean those scratches properly. Come on." she stood and began to calmly dragged the boy from the room.

"B-But Asuna-san, c-can;t we talk this over?" the boy squeaked as they disappeared into the hall. Prosopeio chuckled at the exchange.

"Ah, to be young once more." With a flourish the mage clicked the bottom half of the mask back in place and turned to Zazie. "I shall take her from here. You are free to meet me back at the cottage." reaching slowly into the shadow Prosopeio cradled the sleeping girl, the shadows loosening their hold and masked melting from sight once more. The mage brushed a few hairs from Zazie's face. "You are fortunate... you have more friends then you know little one." cape flowing the ringmaster turned and headed for the door, pausing and looking back to the empty room. "Where are my manners... Ladies first Aisaki-san."

"E-Eh? b-but-"

"You are welcome to sleep over as well. I'm sure Zazie-chan would appreciate it." Prosopeio motioned to the door, a somewhat flustered Sayo nodding before gliding through into the hall, followed a step behind by the enigmatic ringmaster.

end snippet

A peek into Zazie's backstory. Asuna is supremely confused and Asuna's immunity is being addressed much earlier. as said this was writter WITH windfalcon. He was writting for Prosopeio (save for a few edits on my part putting the together) and I was doing Asuna and Negi. it feels good getting something up.
 

Reader458

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Sweet, an update!

A very nice snippet, well balanced. A most interesting backstory for Zazie and good interaction between the characters. Not much else to say, except that I feel your writing feels better in this snippet then it did in the earlier ones.
 

marthf1

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Agreed, very nice and mysterious back story. Zazie is going to have fun the next morning. Tsk, tsk, Asuna, the situations you force yourself into. Hmm, it is a pity that Negi can only bond with a few of his students since there about thirty...

If my knowledge is correct, would Zazie make an interesting contrast with Evangeline, Asuna, and Konoka? One has uncontrollable powers on a new moon, one is restrained until the full moon, one lost her memories, and another is untrained... All powerful magi of sorts...
 

Lumias

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Nice, I wan't reading for errors, but I noticed one, while Prosperio is talking you have him call Asuna, Asuka.
 

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
It's Always the Quiet Ones

Lumias said:
Nice, I wan't reading for errors, but I noticed one, while Prosperio is talking you have him call Asuna, Asuka.
ah, thought I picked all those out... WF tends to make that mistake during our convos :snigger:

On Zazie's past, I tried to make it unique while still including what little info canon gives me to work with. her 'dark' form is taken from a group picture akamatsu drew (zazie is hidden in the background but has one hand of long spindly fingers and wicked claws. In Quiet ones that's the most basic of powers accessed.... I have futher changes when she really starts accessing the power. (but that's still a bit off)

Marth- true, it's very hard to do a fic that gives everyone equal time... this one will mainly include Zazie, Asuna, Konoka (to a slightly lesser extenet but she;s around), Sayo (not exactly sure how big her part will be... not as big as in my ranma fic for sure), Eva (she will likely have a decent showing but she's such a major figure), Chisame, and Natsumi. (more could be added as time goes)
 
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