Bleach Peer Review Omake Thread

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Captain Hitsugaya to all

Err... yes, I'm back. I appologize for my sudden dissapearance, and I assure you it won't happen again. I lost track of time... for the last seven days. And I'd like to say that I do not appreciate the destruction caused in my absence.

On a side note, I finally got that damn horse I was saving up for. However with my computer gone, I can't enjoy it...

Anyway I hope the 10th will be able to get things back on track.

Captain Hitsugaya

Captain Hitsugaya to VC Matsumoto

I don't want to know how you changed my clothes without my knowledge, but I ask that it doesn't happen again. Ever.

As as side note, I've decided to take the advice I recieved recently in order to cure your 'Shotocon Tendencies'. You're meeting VC Kira at 8:00 in the bar you two usually go to.

Captain Hitsugaya

[NGD note: You just know this will end in drunken debunchery and disaster for Toshiro ]

Captain Hitsugaya to VC Kira

You're meeting Matsumoto at 8:00 in the bar you usually go to. No exceptions, and you can't get out of this one. This is for her therapy, and will hopefully aid in curing her 'shotacon tendencies', whatever those are.

Captain Hitsugaya

Captain Hitsugaya to Captain Soifon

I'm sorry, where you trying to annoy me? Because I didn't even notice the 11th division over the pure awesome that was my frost mage. If people in there could actually speak right there, I'd have no complaints.

On a side note, tell your subordinates to stop sending pictures of Yoruichi to me. They only become fuel for the fireplace. Don't even know why you're so obsessed with her anyway, she's not much to look at...

Go choke on a furball,

Captain Hitsugaya

P.S. Call me Shiro-chan again and Unohana be damned, I'm going to kill you.

[NGD note: The picture thing refers to one of the Shinigami cup golden episodes.]

Captain Hitsugaya to Captain Unohana

I wish to thank you for giving medical aid to my division after the pixie stick incident with VC Yachiru, and also for manageing to spare my computer. However was it really necessary to destroy my division in the process?

And may you please return my computer? I do not have an addiction at all... really...

...

...

GIVE IT BACK! THE STRESS! MATSUMOTO'S TRYING WEIRD CRAP AGAIN, AND WON'T EVEN DO HER DAMN JOB! AND CAPTAIN SHUNSUI STILL WON'T RESPOND TO MY REQUEST FOR A VC TRANSFER! I EVEN HAVE TO BUNK WITH CAPTAIN UKITAKE, WHO KEEPS GIVING ME ALL THIS CHOCOLATE! AND I HATE CHOCOLATE! DEATHBYICE IS ALL I HAVE LEFT!

Ahem... sorry about that. Anyway I hope the repairs to our division will be as quick as possible. However in the meantime I refered the 11th to bunk with the 2nd division, and unfortuantly had to accept an invitation for the 10th to bunk with Captain Ukitake's divsion. Is there really no way to get my computer back?

Anyway, best of luck to you and your division.

Sincerely,

Captain Hitsugaya

Captain Hitsugaya to SR Kurosaki Ichigo

Didn't I tell you what would happen if you made Hinamori cry? Good thing I kept track of your little beach party just for this reason.

I hope you brough warm clothes in case of a blizzard.

Don't catch your death of cold,

Captain Hitsugaya

Edit: That works Sect. Though I like the drink imagry better. Something like this maybe?

Captain Hitsugaya to All

Hey... what happened to my drink?

...

Where is everyone?

...

And why is VC Yachiru bitting my head?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Vice-Captain Uzumaki Naruto to Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro:

Captain, er, my Captain wants me to tell you "she has your computer. If you want it back you'll have to meet her demands". What the heck that means, I have no idea. Do you know where I can get some good ramen around here?

Vice-Captain Uzumaki

P.S: I know what you mean. That Matsumoto chick is giving me weird looks too...

Captain Unohana to Captain Hitsugaya:

An addiction like this is hardly something to promote in the wake of the disaster. You IGNORED a MULTI-BLOCK DESTROYING BANKAI while PLAYING IT. That's just dangerous!

Why don't you try astronomy or painting or something less likely to get you killed? Honestly...

Captain Unohana

VC Matsumoto to Captain Hitsugaya:

You do realize Kira is pretty much gay after what Gin did to him? And besides, I can't help wanting to hug my captain... Cuddle my cute captain... Dress him in cute clothes...

Ahem. Right, I'll meet Kira at the bar right on time!

VC Matsumoto

VC Hinamori to SR Kurosaki:

I understand why you don't want me around. You don't want some crazy, emotionally tattered girl like me as a friend! *sob* I'm so worthless! I can't go on without a strong man to help me! I'm so pathetic! *breaks down crying hard*

Wait... I have bankai too now... Ichigo-san, YOU WILL BE MINE!

Arrancar Leader Aizen to Arrancar Leader Ichimaru:

Hm... For some reason I thought I felt great pity for Kurosaki Ichigo. I have no idea why. Must have been my imagination...

 

[AbyssalDaemon]

You know it could be somewhat amusing if Hitsugaya suffering lack of WoW starts to hulcinate on Soul Society being WoW and decides he needs to level up...

 

[Epsilon]

Hitsugaya needs to get out of WoW and into FPS games.

"BOOM! HEADSHOT!!"

 

[knight_of_ni]

Captain Sajin Komamura to all:

Will who ever keeps giving Yachiru pixie sticks, please stop.
Every time she gets pixie sticks, she finds me and pulls on my tail, and my ears.

Ban-Kai does nothing, nothing I tell you....

And who ever is reading this please let me out of the 4th division headquarters.? Their vice captain won't let me out...

She has had a strange glint in her eye for the past few days, and the only reason I got this message out is because she left to go to the.. shit she's back!

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Captain Retsu Unohana to Vice Captain Isane Kotetsu:

Isane-san, why haven't you released Captain Komamura? I thought he was completely healed by now?

Vice Captain Isane Kotetsu to Captain Retsu Unohana:

My apologies captain, we seem to have made some clerical errors regarding his allergies. We just want to make sure we didn't do anything to him by accident. Also... Just what is the deal with him? Why does he have a fox-head? I can't understand it!

Vice-Captain Momo Hinamori to Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya:

Hey Shiro-chan, how are you feeling? Better I hope. I hope the gift I sent you helps you get through the boredom of recovery. It's called a 'Gameboy', and according to Orihime it's very relaxing. I managed to catch up with Ichigo-san. He apologized for not taking me with him on vacation and made it up to me by going swimsuit shopping with me (Isn't he the sweetest?). Anyway, feel better soon! I'll see you when I get back.

Love,

Momo

Captain Byakuya Kuchiki to Vice-Captain Renji Abarai:

I took the liberty of legalizing your "final will and testament", Renji. Keep in mind that everyone on the network heard it, however. If you're worried about punishment, don't be: I could never humiliate you as perfectly as you did yourself.

Heal soon,

Captain Kuchiki

 

[zerohour]

Vice Captain Abarai Renji to Captain Kuchiki Byakuya

Well, since I don't have to worry about punishment, I suppose now is a good time to tell you that Rukia's coming over tonight and we'll need the division Headquarters to ourselves.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Captain Byakuya Kuchiki to Fourth Seat Rukia Kuchiki:

Dear sister, I am afraid that Renji can not make it to your meeting tonight. He suffered rather extensive injuries while training with me in better control of his Bankai. Take care and by all means, feel free to visit him in the hospital when you get the chance. I hope you are well and look forward to seeing you soon.

Your brother,

Byakuya

 

[knight_of_ni]

Captain Sajin Komamura to Captain Retsu Unohana

Release me! I am a captain, and I will be treated with respect! And I will not tolerate your VC's way of taking temperature.

Captain Sajin Komamura to VC Renji Abarai

You back again?? Do all current and former members of the 11th have no sense of self preservation?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Captain Retsu Unohana to Captain Sajin Komamura:

Captain Komamura, I am sorry but I must manage a hospital filled to the brim with patients from Yachiru's rampage. I thus cannot review every patient's condition as much as I'd like to. If my VC says you need to stay, then you need to stay. If you try to escape or continue to tie up the butterflies with your complaints, I will become... unhappy. Is that understood?

Sincerely,

Captain Unohana

VC Shuhei Hisagi to Captain Sajin Komamura:

Sir, I advise you to not make Captain Unohana unhappy. I really, really, really advise you not to. Just take it easy for a few days, Iba is taking care of the paperwork in your absence.

VC Hisagi

VC Renji Abarai to Captain Sajin Komamura:

Sir, with all due respect, bite me. Ow...

 

[DhampyrX2]

Well I guess I should try my hand at this. It looks insane... er fun.

Captain Hitsugaya to VC Hinamori

Momo, there are things about your personal life I really don't need to hear.á Taking Special Representative Kurosaki shopping is pretty high on that list of things I don't need to think about.á Oh and thank you for the gift.á It's was very thoughtful.

...how can Blizzaga not work here?á Ice is the superior element.

Captain Hitsugaya to SR Kurosaki

I'm still coming for you.á I'm just busy right now.

Captain Hitsugaya to Captain Unohana

NOOOO!á Give it back right now!á I just got my character levels up where I want them!

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Nice.

Captain Hitsugaya to New VC Uzumaki Naruto

Tell your captain I'm willing to meet with her. I'll come alone.

Captain Hitsugaya

PS: Seriously, watchout for Matsumoto. I think the date with VC Kira completely caused a relapse in her condition. I had to tie her down to keep her off of me.

Captain Hitsugaya to Captain Soifon

Bankai Bitch.

Hitsugaya needs to get out of WoW and into FPS games.

"BOOM! HEADSHOT!!"

I know less about FPS games than I do about WoW, and what I put down was partially borrowed from one of those fics with Hitsugaya and Matsumoto, along with Megatokyo for knowledge of how to speek l33t. I personally don't know a lot about it, though since it actually has characters that can use Ice based moves, I figured he'd like it.

You know it could be somewhat amusing if Hitsugaya suffering lack of WoW starts to hulcinate on Soul Society being WoW and decides he needs to level up...

Considering my lack of knowledge of WoW itself, I'd have to ask someone else with more experience with that game to do it. I knew I should have just had Hitsugaya get addicted to Kingdom Hearts...

...

THE HOLLOWS AND THE HEARTLESS ARE SO FREAKING SIMILAR!!! THE RELAPSE FROM WITHDRAWL WOULD HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLE!!! IDIOT!!!

:headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger:

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Captain Soifon to Captain Hitsugaya:

Bankai this, asshole.

(There is this really bizarre fanfiction on FF.net that has SoiFon's Bankai being, of all things, an oversized frying pan. I have no idea why, but the mental image is just hilarious. So, maybe the reason she hasn't shown her Bankai is because of how embarrassing it is?)


Vice-Captain Uzumaki to Captain Hitsugaya:

I'll keep an eye out, sir. Thanks.

Damnit, where the hell can a guy get some good ramen around here?!

Captain Unohana to Captain Hitsugaya:

No! No World of Warcraft!

VC Hinamori to Captain Hitsugaya:

Sorry, I won't mention it again... Nor how he has the most amazing fingers and lips, mmmm.? :cumdrool:

Anyway, if you need something more enthralling as a gaming experience, I do have a Playstation 2 and a copy of Kingdom Hearts Kira's loaning me. It's a really fun and cute game! I think you'll like it.

Take care,

Momo

(NGD OMEGA, that'd be your cue. :evil2: )

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Captain Hitsugaya to VC Hinamori

What did I say about not wanting to know about your love life?

At any rate I thank you for the presents. After being hospitalized after a disagreement with Captain Soifon (Oh, and you won't believe what her Bankai is), and then being forced to share the same room with her, it's provided a very nice destraction, particularly the copy you sent me for my Gameboy. However my 'roommate' seems to enjoy looking over my shoulder far too much when this weird character called the Cheshire Cat showed up.

Unfortunately playing has been difficult in the hospital. I just know that she will take it away if I get caught, so I have to hid the TV in the closet and play when she's away. I can only hope for a speedy recovery soon.

On a side note, the location of my computer is still unknown. But I will find it...

See you when I come down to kick Kurosaki's ass,

Captain Hitsugaya

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Captain Unohana to Captain Hitsugaya and Captain Soifon:

You two just can't stay out of trouble, can you? If I catch you two fighting one more time, I'll show you a bankai!

VC Uzumaki to Captain Soifon:

Damn, is it normal for Captain Unohana to be that scary?

Independant Arrancar Neliel Tu Oderschvank to Shinigami Representative Ichigo Kurosaki:

Ichigo? I hope you don't mind but I moved into your room while you were on vacation. Oh wait, you're right here, so nevermind. Why is your face so red? You're acting as though you've never seen me naked before...

 

[Slyfer101]

Captain Soifon to VC Uzumaki Naruto

Yes, it is. In fact, if she's not scaring you, then you need to be truly worried.

VC Uzumaki Naruto to VC Kotetsu Isane

Hey, Isane-neechan, any way to make sure I stay permenantly on Captain Unohana's good side? Flowers, chocolates, anything like that? I heard about the "Aizen standing her up" incident...I REALLY don't want her mad at me.

VC Kotetsu Isane to VC Uzumaki Naruto

Nee-chan?...Nevermind. If you want to stay on her good side, why not try to get your Captain Soifon and Captain Hitsugya to get along? Stopping those to from fighting would DEFINITELY earn you some points with my Captain (and the rest of the 4th as well, we're getting tired of this!).

VC Uzumaki Naruto to Captain Soifon and Captain Hitsugya

Sir, ma'am, maybe I can help settle the fight between you two? If you two stop fighting, then Captain Unohana might be a little happier...and if she's happier, we can all relax a little. Anything I can do to help?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Captain Soifon to VC Uzumaki:

Make that little ice wielding bastard replace my stuffed cat! He... He... It's so terrible I can't even say what he did to it!

Captain Unohana Retsu to Former-Captain Kurosaki Isshin (private line):

Just checking up on you. Is your son all right? We haven't been in contact with him for a while. And how are the girls?

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Captian Hitsugaya to Captain Soifon

Hey, it's not my fault you used it to take embarassing pictures of me! And you should actually call me Captain Hitsugaya while you're at it. Crazy Lesbian Slut...

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Captain Soifon to Captain Hitsugaya:

Shut up you puny, simpleminded sexually repressed fag! I didn't use it to take embarrassing photos of you! And even if I did, do you REALLY THINK I WOULD LEAVE IT BEHIND?! Boy genius indeed!

 

[Slyfer101]

VC Uzumaki Naruto to Captain Toshiro Hitsugya

Captain, I don't know who played that joke on you, but even though I've only known her a short time, I know Captain Soifon wouldn't have pulled the stunt (especially with her prized plushie). I'll start asking around, and see if I can find the real perp for you, if you'll agree to replace her pussy. Think of it like this; you two don't hit each other anymore, Captain Unohana gets to be a little happier, and maybe you both can beat some hell out of the real prankster. What'd'ya say, Captain?

VC Uzumaki Naruto to Captain Toshiro Hitsugya

I MEANT KITTY! REPLACE HER KITTY! PLEASE DON'T TELL THE CAPTAIN I WROTE THAT WORD!

Captain Toshiro Hitsugya to VC Uzumaki Naruto

...I'll think about it.

Former Captain Kurosaki Isshin to Captain Unohana (You're still a babe) Retsu

The girls are good. Karin's actually been asking about that punk who took my place as the D10 captain...I think my little girl might have a crush! Yuzu...(sigh) she takes after her mother so much - oddly enough though, she seems to have your ability to intimidate people with a grin. How do you do that anyway?

As for Ichigo? Well, he's got a rogue Arrancar, a slightly ditzy school girl, a strong willed (but lousy artist) shinigami, all wanting to jump his bones...I COULDN'T BE PROUDER!

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Captain Hitsugaya to Captain Soifon

S-s-s-s-sexually repressed?! That's it, HAVE AT YOU!!!

 

[Slyfer101]

VC Uzumaki Naruto to VC Kotetsu Isane

Any other ideas?

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Well, might as well start with another person for once, as there is no way to do this without another guy narrating...

Hanataro Yamada (I think that's his name, but I may have it backwards) to Captain Unohana

Ah, Captain, both Hitsugaya and Soifon started to fight again, so I gave them the medications you perscribed if that happened, but I think I gave them too much! They keep on staring at the ceiling with a dazed look in their eyes, and every once in a while saying strange things to eachother! I don't know what to do...

Hantaro

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

VC Kotetsu Isane to VC Uzumaki Naruto:

Well... I have heard that repeated fights like this can simply be a cover for incredible sexual attraction neither party wants to admit to? Maybe if we drugged them and shoved them into a love hotel... No, I can't do that! That'd go against my Hippocratic Oath!

... On the other hand, Captain Unohana is getting that scary smile of hers again. The "I've been covered in blood, stood up by my date, and publicly humiliated - It's BANKAI TIME!" smile... You find a love hotel, I'll take care of the rest!

Captain Unohana Retsu to Former Captain (And still as handsome and caring as always) Kurosaki Isshin:

Honestly, that Hitsugaya! He's so high strung! I'd prescribe him to go get laid, but I sincerely doubt he'd go for it. Oh, *that* smile? Isshin, you remember it right? Prom Night? Urahara calls it the "I can totally kick your ass ten ways from Sunday but I'm too nice to do it unless I have to" smile. I'm guessing people recognize her potential.

*sigh* I can't believe I had the biggest crush on Aizen at the academy. Just goes to show you hindsight is 20/20. Oh well... I can't live in the past.

Your son also has several additional female shinigami in Soul Society after him for "bankai training"? .

Captain Unohana to Hanataro Yamada:

As long as they're not fighting eachother or going into cardiac arrest, they'll be fine. Good work Hanataro! You've certainly been on the ball lately. How would you like a promotion to Third Seat?

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Hanataro to Captain Unohana

Ah, thank you Captain, but I'm still worried, they started saying that their true friends, and were even crying. Ah, Vice Captain Uzumaki just said they've appologized to each other for before... I don't know what's going on anymore...

Hanataro