Pure Crackfic!
- Thread starter Marquis Le'Quack
- Start date
Out of simple curiosity, where do I fit in this high-jakced fic? :unsure:
Meh, we need more cats!
Heh, now you all know why Ino wears purple, she's a barnian!
Also, the other guy to promote love and peace (though, in an inherently more violent way) is Vash... hmmm... temptation to cameo is rising, temptation and urge to cameo is rising...
--- Snippet ---
Naruto woke up, it was the day of Graduation and there were many women and children he had to bring his purple goodness to.
No, it wasn't Ribena, and it wasn't that wierd mascara that black-turned-white guy used a while back before evicted back to rock.
It was his love and his cherished sense of family.
Actually, come to think of it, wasn't he supposed to be the head of a family himself? Meh, he'd let his teammates decide on a daily basis who was sharing love with whom.
It had all started with that one mission.
Tora the Cat had been lost again.
"I've lost my pussey, I've lost my dearest pussey cat!" the daimyo's wife had cried.
Team 12's teacher had remarked she'd lost more than that. He was summarily sentenced to Barney re-runs for 2 hours.
He'd gotten more 'pussey cats' than he'd ever had, well, from what Naruto understood from it. His Jounin teacher apparently had been converted to the forbidden TV show, and was now either impressing the various women with Barney chat-up lines, ("I love you, you love me, let's get together and start a family...) or teaching Team 12 new and cool jutsu.
Whatever, Naruto had a new follower. End of story.
Of course, Ino still hugged him. Daily.
Apparently there had been some trouble with her family, her dad had given her the usual mental check-up, only to walk into the wrong door in her mind.
The poor man had taken to wearing yellow clothes, a red hat and red sneakers, and rapping to a children's tune ("I'm Inoshi and in Inoshi's house we've got a family of Ino, Inoshi, and Inoue. Yeah, baby!)
No matter, today was the first day back from the Wave Country mission that had gone so well. Naruto's jounin teacher wasn't really the first convert.
No, it was a wet-behind-the-ears green recruit named Haku as well as his master, Zabuza.
Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Zabuza....
Zabuza loved Barney too... Zabuza's big meat cleaver also loved Barney. It wondered what the big evil's flesh would taste like.
**********
Naruto glanced up from his female teammates' wandering hands and noticed a trio of people looking out of place.
The older woman was wearing nothing but a fishnet shirt, a lacy bra, a miniskirt, and what looked like the remains of panties.
The younger woman looked wierd with all that face paint and that full-body sweat-suit on.
Ino bonked him on the head, "that's a boy you moron." His teammates resumed hugging and singing to him.
It was the young boy with them who commanded his attention though. That guord full of sand, those clothes full of love and care. That unguarded look of pure hate and loathing- wait what?
Gaara of the Desert came forward towards Naruto. He began singing.
"Uzumaki Naruto, I don't like you very much - but I still love you. I don't really like the fact that you're more popular than I am; I'm the cuter one, so I should get the media reviews as opposed to you."
Naruto smiled, and drew upon his purple power goodness. He joined hands with Gaara and, what was his older brother doing?!?
Was that, no, it was.
"BJ! BJ, BJ, BJ!" He turned to Ino. "Do you like BJ?" She nodded, their jounin instructor spat the remainder of his tea. The accomplished man turned toward a passing woman.
"Excuse me miss, do you like to give- err, I mean do you like BJ?"
She looked at him, grinned, and gave him her address and phone number.
Back to Naruto and Gaara's onesided heartfelt reunion.
"Riff"
"Gaara"
"Riff"
"It's Gaara."
"Riff."
"One more time and I'll make sure I permanently get the better TV ratings by crushing you in my sand."
"I love you, you love me.... Hey, Ino, I love you, you love me, let's get together and... A pussy... cat!"
Naruto and Barney sure do love cats.
**********
... ... I'm not ever doing Yaoi... so that's a point in my favour, right?
...
right?
Meh, we need more cats!
Heh, now you all know why Ino wears purple, she's a barnian!
Also, the other guy to promote love and peace (though, in an inherently more violent way) is Vash... hmmm... temptation to cameo is rising, temptation and urge to cameo is rising...
--- Snippet ---
Naruto woke up, it was the day of Graduation and there were many women and children he had to bring his purple goodness to.
No, it wasn't Ribena, and it wasn't that wierd mascara that black-turned-white guy used a while back before evicted back to rock.
It was his love and his cherished sense of family.
Actually, come to think of it, wasn't he supposed to be the head of a family himself? Meh, he'd let his teammates decide on a daily basis who was sharing love with whom.
It had all started with that one mission.
Tora the Cat had been lost again.
"I've lost my pussey, I've lost my dearest pussey cat!" the daimyo's wife had cried.
Team 12's teacher had remarked she'd lost more than that. He was summarily sentenced to Barney re-runs for 2 hours.
He'd gotten more 'pussey cats' than he'd ever had, well, from what Naruto understood from it. His Jounin teacher apparently had been converted to the forbidden TV show, and was now either impressing the various women with Barney chat-up lines, ("I love you, you love me, let's get together and start a family...) or teaching Team 12 new and cool jutsu.
Whatever, Naruto had a new follower. End of story.
Of course, Ino still hugged him. Daily.
Apparently there had been some trouble with her family, her dad had given her the usual mental check-up, only to walk into the wrong door in her mind.
The poor man had taken to wearing yellow clothes, a red hat and red sneakers, and rapping to a children's tune ("I'm Inoshi and in Inoshi's house we've got a family of Ino, Inoshi, and Inoue. Yeah, baby!)
No matter, today was the first day back from the Wave Country mission that had gone so well. Naruto's jounin teacher wasn't really the first convert.
No, it was a wet-behind-the-ears green recruit named Haku as well as his master, Zabuza.
Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Zabuza....
Zabuza loved Barney too... Zabuza's big meat cleaver also loved Barney. It wondered what the big evil's flesh would taste like.
**********
Naruto glanced up from his female teammates' wandering hands and noticed a trio of people looking out of place.
The older woman was wearing nothing but a fishnet shirt, a lacy bra, a miniskirt, and what looked like the remains of panties.
The younger woman looked wierd with all that face paint and that full-body sweat-suit on.
Ino bonked him on the head, "that's a boy you moron." His teammates resumed hugging and singing to him.
It was the young boy with them who commanded his attention though. That guord full of sand, those clothes full of love and care. That unguarded look of pure hate and loathing- wait what?
Gaara of the Desert came forward towards Naruto. He began singing.
"Uzumaki Naruto, I don't like you very much - but I still love you. I don't really like the fact that you're more popular than I am; I'm the cuter one, so I should get the media reviews as opposed to you."
Naruto smiled, and drew upon his purple power goodness. He joined hands with Gaara and, what was his older brother doing?!?
Was that, no, it was.
"BJ! BJ, BJ, BJ!" He turned to Ino. "Do you like BJ?" She nodded, their jounin instructor spat the remainder of his tea. The accomplished man turned toward a passing woman.
"Excuse me miss, do you like to give- err, I mean do you like BJ?"
She looked at him, grinned, and gave him her address and phone number.
Back to Naruto and Gaara's onesided heartfelt reunion.
"Riff"
"Gaara"
"Riff"
"It's Gaara."
"Riff."
"One more time and I'll make sure I permanently get the better TV ratings by crushing you in my sand."
"I love you, you love me.... Hey, Ino, I love you, you love me, let's get together and... A pussy... cat!"
Naruto and Barney sure do love cats.
**********
... ... I'm not ever doing Yaoi... so that's a point in my favour, right?
...
right?
byakuryuu said:
S J C said:
Walks in with Gungnir and Fragarach in each hand. And with the Aegis shield strapped on his left hand. "Till all are one."
So what happened to FF.net? Are THEY the void? CANON is just a religious faction eating through worlds, that much I understand, instead of being purely one bloody territory.
Or should we make them in a similar mold?
All I know is... We will fight.
[quote="Marquis Le']Out of simple curiosity, where do I fit in this high-jakced fic?? :unsure:
Meh, we need more cats!
Heh, now you all know why Ino wears purple, she's a barnian!
Also, the other guy to promote love and peace (though, in an inherently more violent way) is Vash... hmmm... temptation to cameo is rising, temptation and urge to cameo is rising...
--- Snippet ---
Naruto woke up, it was the day of Graduation and there were many women and children he had to bring his purple goodness to.
No, it wasn't Ribena, and it wasn't that wierd mascara that black-turned-white guy used a while back before evicted back to rock.
It was his love and his cherished sense of family.
Actually, come to think of it, wasn't he supposed to be the head of a family himself? Meh, he'd let his teammates decide on a daily basis who was sharing love with whom.
It had all started with that one mission.
Tora the Cat had been lost again.
"I've lost my pussey, I've lost my dearest pussey cat!" the daimyo's wife had cried.
Team 12's teacher had remarked she'd lost more than that. He was summarily sentenced to Barney re-runs for 2 hours.
He'd gotten more 'pussey cats' than he'd ever had, well, from what Naruto understood from it. His Jounin teacher apparently had been converted to the forbidden TV show, and was now either impressing the various women with Barney chat-up lines, ("I love you, you love me, let's get together and start a family...) or teaching Team 12 new and cool jutsu.
Whatever, Naruto had a new follower. End of story.
Of course, Ino still hugged him. Daily.
Apparently there had been some trouble with her family, her dad had given her the usual mental check-up, only to walk into the wrong door in her mind.
The poor man had taken to wearing yellow clothes, a red hat and red sneakers, and rapping to a children's tune ("I'm Inoshi and in Inoshi's house we've got a family of Ino, Inoshi, and Inoue. Yeah, baby!)
No matter, today was the first day back from the Wave Country mission that had gone so well. Naruto's jounin teacher wasn't really the first convert.
No, it was a wet-behind-the-ears green recruit named Haku as well as his master, Zabuza.
Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Zabuza....
Zabuza loved Barney too... Zabuza's big meat cleaver also loved Barney. It wondered what the big evil's flesh would taste like.
**********
Naruto glanced up from his female teammates' wandering hands and noticed a trio of people looking out of place.
The older woman was wearing nothing but a fishnet shirt, a lacy bra, a miniskirt, and what looked like the remains of panties.
The younger woman looked wierd with all that face paint and that full-body sweat-suit on.
Ino bonked him on the head, "that's a boy you moron." His teammates resumed hugging and singing to him.
It was the young boy with them who commanded his attention though. That guord full of sand, those clothes full of love and care. That unguarded look of pure hate and loathing- wait what?
Gaara of the Desert came forward towards Naruto. He began singing.
"Uzumaki Naruto, I don't like you very much - but I still love you. I don't really like the fact that you're more popular than I am; I'm the cuter one, so I should get the media reviews as opposed to you."
Naruto smiled, and drew upon his purple power goodness. He joined hands with Gaara and, what was his older brother doing?!?
Was that, no, it was.
"BJ! BJ, BJ, BJ!" He turned to Ino. "Do you like BJ?" She nodded, their jounin instructor spat the remainder of his tea. The accomplished man turned toward a passing woman.
"Excuse me miss, do you like to give- err, I mean do you like BJ?"
She looked at him, grinned, and gave him her address and phone number.
Back to Naruto and Gaara's onesided heartfelt reunion.
"Riff"
"Gaara"
"Riff"
"It's Gaara."
"Riff."
"One more time and I'll make sure I permanently get the better TV ratings by crushing you in my sand."
"I love you, you love me.... Hey, Ino, I love you, you love me, let's get together and... A pussy... cat!"
Naruto and Barney sure do love cats.
**********
... ... I'm not ever doing Yaoi... so that's a point in my favour, right?
...
right?[/quote]
Uzume giggled as her husband snuggled into her stomach, taking in her sent as he slept; honestly, the man had no meaning when it came to sleeping quietly. Their daughter was upstairs playing Doom 3 on the XBox.
All was right in the world.
Then, the phone rang; her cell.
"Hello?"
"Oh, Uzume? It's me, S J C from Command." the voice came, although he sounded a bit raspy, "Is Assassin Guy there?"
Said man rose from his sleep.
"It's S J C from Command." she handed him the phone.
"General S J C?" General Anti Assassin Guy raised the cell to his ear, "I'm enjoying my holiday, what've you been up to?" he greeted, grinning as he rested his head on his wife's soft lap.
"It's back."
His blood froze.
"It can't be back," he began, rising up to a sit. "We nuked it. With enough Anti-Barney to last 50 damned years."
"It's back, Anti. Sending to Hell was the wrong idea." he went on, "Marquis'got supernatural shit on his side this time, and the Space Marines are lightyears away."
Assassin Guy cursed.
"Turn off your TVs and Radios, Assassin Guy, it's hacking ever transmission except for ours. I'm calling from TFF now." SJC sounded rushed, "And get the HELL out of Gordic City; it's headed YOUR way!"
The phone went dead.
"Get Kara."
/-/END/-/
Yes, Flight Commander. A whole battalion of them at your command to rip YAOI apart with.
Meh, we need more cats!
Heh, now you all know why Ino wears purple, she's a barnian!
Also, the other guy to promote love and peace (though, in an inherently more violent way) is Vash... hmmm... temptation to cameo is rising, temptation and urge to cameo is rising...
--- Snippet ---
Naruto woke up, it was the day of Graduation and there were many women and children he had to bring his purple goodness to.
No, it wasn't Ribena, and it wasn't that wierd mascara that black-turned-white guy used a while back before evicted back to rock.
It was his love and his cherished sense of family.
Actually, come to think of it, wasn't he supposed to be the head of a family himself? Meh, he'd let his teammates decide on a daily basis who was sharing love with whom.
It had all started with that one mission.
Tora the Cat had been lost again.
"I've lost my pussey, I've lost my dearest pussey cat!" the daimyo's wife had cried.
Team 12's teacher had remarked she'd lost more than that. He was summarily sentenced to Barney re-runs for 2 hours.
He'd gotten more 'pussey cats' than he'd ever had, well, from what Naruto understood from it. His Jounin teacher apparently had been converted to the forbidden TV show, and was now either impressing the various women with Barney chat-up lines, ("I love you, you love me, let's get together and start a family...) or teaching Team 12 new and cool jutsu.
Whatever, Naruto had a new follower. End of story.
Of course, Ino still hugged him. Daily.
Apparently there had been some trouble with her family, her dad had given her the usual mental check-up, only to walk into the wrong door in her mind.
The poor man had taken to wearing yellow clothes, a red hat and red sneakers, and rapping to a children's tune ("I'm Inoshi and in Inoshi's house we've got a family of Ino, Inoshi, and Inoue. Yeah, baby!)
No matter, today was the first day back from the Wave Country mission that had gone so well. Naruto's jounin teacher wasn't really the first convert.
No, it was a wet-behind-the-ears green recruit named Haku as well as his master, Zabuza.
Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Haku loved Barney. Barney loved Haku. Zabuza....
Zabuza loved Barney too... Zabuza's big meat cleaver also loved Barney. It wondered what the big evil's flesh would taste like.
**********
Naruto glanced up from his female teammates' wandering hands and noticed a trio of people looking out of place.
The older woman was wearing nothing but a fishnet shirt, a lacy bra, a miniskirt, and what looked like the remains of panties.
The younger woman looked wierd with all that face paint and that full-body sweat-suit on.
Ino bonked him on the head, "that's a boy you moron." His teammates resumed hugging and singing to him.
It was the young boy with them who commanded his attention though. That guord full of sand, those clothes full of love and care. That unguarded look of pure hate and loathing- wait what?
Gaara of the Desert came forward towards Naruto. He began singing.
"Uzumaki Naruto, I don't like you very much - but I still love you. I don't really like the fact that you're more popular than I am; I'm the cuter one, so I should get the media reviews as opposed to you."
Naruto smiled, and drew upon his purple power goodness. He joined hands with Gaara and, what was his older brother doing?!?
Was that, no, it was.
"BJ! BJ, BJ, BJ!" He turned to Ino. "Do you like BJ?" She nodded, their jounin instructor spat the remainder of his tea. The accomplished man turned toward a passing woman.
"Excuse me miss, do you like to give- err, I mean do you like BJ?"
She looked at him, grinned, and gave him her address and phone number.
Back to Naruto and Gaara's onesided heartfelt reunion.
"Riff"
"Gaara"
"Riff"
"It's Gaara."
"Riff."
"One more time and I'll make sure I permanently get the better TV ratings by crushing you in my sand."
"I love you, you love me.... Hey, Ino, I love you, you love me, let's get together and... A pussy... cat!"
Naruto and Barney sure do love cats.
**********
... ... I'm not ever doing Yaoi... so that's a point in my favour, right?
...
right?[/quote]
Uzume giggled as her husband snuggled into her stomach, taking in her sent as he slept; honestly, the man had no meaning when it came to sleeping quietly. Their daughter was upstairs playing Doom 3 on the XBox.
All was right in the world.
Then, the phone rang; her cell.
"Hello?"
"Oh, Uzume? It's me, S J C from Command." the voice came, although he sounded a bit raspy, "Is Assassin Guy there?"
Said man rose from his sleep.
"It's S J C from Command." she handed him the phone.
"General S J C?" General Anti Assassin Guy raised the cell to his ear, "I'm enjoying my holiday, what've you been up to?" he greeted, grinning as he rested his head on his wife's soft lap.
"It's back."
His blood froze.
"It can't be back," he began, rising up to a sit. "We nuked it. With enough Anti-Barney to last 50 damned years."
"It's back, Anti. Sending to Hell was the wrong idea." he went on, "Marquis'got supernatural shit on his side this time, and the Space Marines are lightyears away."
Assassin Guy cursed.
"Turn off your TVs and Radios, Assassin Guy, it's hacking ever transmission except for ours. I'm calling from TFF now." SJC sounded rushed, "And get the HELL out of Gordic City; it's headed YOUR way!"
The phone went dead.
"Get Kara."
/-/END/-/
Yes, Flight Commander. A whole battalion of them at your command to rip YAOI apart with.
Uzume giggled as her husband snuggled into her stomach, taking in her sent as he slept; honestly, the man had no meaning when it came to sleeping quietly. Their daughter was upstairs playing Doom 3 on the XBox.
All was right in the world.
Then, the phone rang; her cell.
"Hello?"
"Oh, Uzume? It's me, S J C from Command." the voice came, although he sounded a bit raspy, "Is Assassin Guy there?"
Said man rose from his sleep.
"It's S J C from Command." she handed him the phone.
"General S J C?" General Anti Assassin Guy raised the cell to his ear, "I'm enjoying my holiday, what've you been up to?" he greeted, grinning as he rested his head on his wife's soft lap.
"It's back."
His blood froze.
"It can't be back," he began, rising up to a sit. "We nuked it. With enough Anti-Barney to last 50 damned years."
"It's back, Anti. Sending to Hell was the wrong idea." he went on, "Marquis'got supernatural shit on his side this time, and the Space Marines are lightyears away."
Assassin Guy cursed.
"Turn off your TVs and Radios, Assassin Guy, it's hacking ever transmission except for ours. I'm calling from TFF now." SJC sounded rushed, "And get the HELL out of Gordic City; it's headed YOUR way!"
The phone went dead.
"Get Kara."
/-/END/-/
Yes, Flight Commander. A whole battalion of them at your command to rip YAOI apart with.[/quote]
We need mass drivers on the double.
All was right in the world.
Then, the phone rang; her cell.
"Hello?"
"Oh, Uzume? It's me, S J C from Command." the voice came, although he sounded a bit raspy, "Is Assassin Guy there?"
Said man rose from his sleep.
"It's S J C from Command." she handed him the phone.
"General S J C?" General Anti Assassin Guy raised the cell to his ear, "I'm enjoying my holiday, what've you been up to?" he greeted, grinning as he rested his head on his wife's soft lap.
"It's back."
His blood froze.
"It can't be back," he began, rising up to a sit. "We nuked it. With enough Anti-Barney to last 50 damned years."
"It's back, Anti. Sending to Hell was the wrong idea." he went on, "Marquis'got supernatural shit on his side this time, and the Space Marines are lightyears away."
Assassin Guy cursed.
"Turn off your TVs and Radios, Assassin Guy, it's hacking ever transmission except for ours. I'm calling from TFF now." SJC sounded rushed, "And get the HELL out of Gordic City; it's headed YOUR way!"
The phone went dead.
"Get Kara."
/-/END/-/
Yes, Flight Commander. A whole battalion of them at your command to rip YAOI apart with.[/quote]
We need mass drivers on the double.
...
You know, that girl'd make a gay man go straight.
Just sayin'.
I've already outlined the basis of the TFFVerse.
And a rule: If it exists and inclines YAOI, it is cared for, made straight and intoduced to a good woman by TFFVerse. Because we care. About lolis and tsundere.
Anyone got an interrogation scene?
To Marquis: Until you write a TFFVerse snippet, expect to be badass in MY anti barney snippets... and an antagonist.
With Michael Jackson as your sidekick.
Come on, you know you want to.
You know, that girl'd make a gay man go straight.
Just sayin'.
I've already outlined the basis of the TFFVerse.
And a rule: If it exists and inclines YAOI, it is cared for, made straight and intoduced to a good woman by TFFVerse. Because we care. About lolis and tsundere.
Anyone got an interrogation scene?
To Marquis: Until you write a TFFVerse snippet, expect to be badass in MY anti barney snippets... and an antagonist.
With Michael Jackson as your sidekick.
Come on, you know you want to.
Just state your name, preferred role in war, rank and of course, any love interests and possible children or family members and Squadron underlings from animes/games/books/movies and make sure you're not a mary sue.
Sues die.
Really.
Like this.
/-/-/
"I HAVE ACQUIRED THE ULTIMATE AI SWORD; NOW I CAN RESTORE MY THRONE OF YAOI AND MAKE NARUTO HAVE ENDLESS AMOUNTS OF SEX WITH SASUKE AND GET MARRIED TO A DARLING PRINCE!"
Knock. Knock.
"Now who could that be?"
*Open door*
:flameon:
:rip1:
Any questions?
Sues die.
Really.
Like this.
/-/-/
"I HAVE ACQUIRED THE ULTIMATE AI SWORD; NOW I CAN RESTORE MY THRONE OF YAOI AND MAKE NARUTO HAVE ENDLESS AMOUNTS OF SEX WITH SASUKE AND GET MARRIED TO A DARLING PRINCE!"
Knock. Knock.
"Now who could that be?"
*Open door*
:flameon:
:rip1:
Any questions?
Name:
Rank:
Service: (Army, Navy, Space force, Military command)
War Role:
Love Interest:
Children:
Underlings:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: S J C
Rank: Commander
Service: Military command
War Role: Front-line commander
Love Interest: None
Children: None
Underlings: Tanya Adams, Lieutenant Eva Lee, Lieutenant Zofia, General Jack Granger, Anton Slavik.
So any problems with the 2.0 map?
Rank:
Service: (Army, Navy, Space force, Military command)
War Role:
Love Interest:
Children:
Underlings:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: S J C
Rank: Commander
Service: Military command
War Role: Front-line commander
Love Interest: None
Children: None
Underlings: Tanya Adams, Lieutenant Eva Lee, Lieutenant Zofia, General Jack Granger, Anton Slavik.
So any problems with the 2.0 map?
This entire idea is epic. The fact that it's taking place in a thread titled Pure Crackfic is even better.
TFF has allies of course...
The impregnable Fortress of Black Dragon, which stands unconquered within the territory of FF.net. Their cloned army of Rayden's, Ranma's and the (uncloned, thankfully) DAPC scare off any who would dare approach.
The noble forces of planet Rokudaime, who strive to establish peace between the various factions.
And we cannot forget our allies from AFF.net, locked in their eternal civil war... our prayers go out to them every night.
The neutral factions Ficwad and Mediaminer, where evidence of the war remains nonexistent...
Anyway...onto self insertion. Use this guy as you will. Formatted cause it's easy.
Name: Ryusanji
Rank: Lieutenant
Service: Frontline Infantry
War Role: The leader of the infantry companies of Planet Suikox, who have chosen to side with the TFF. Suikox brings with them many battle-hardened warriors and sorcerers, who make up for their lack of technology with fierce fighting spirit, strength, and a desire for the common good of all.
Love Interest: Sierra Mikain, because a vampire is fine too.
Children: Sierra comes with a couple dozen vampires. They sorta count. Technically.
Underlings: Various Suikoden characters. Mathiu as a strategist. Warriors of great reknown such as Viktor, Flik, Georg Prime, Tir McDohl, and Killey. Magicians such as the teleporter Viki, the seer Leknaat, and the ancient Crowley. Our secret weapon/last resort is to release Luca Blight upon the enemy and run the fuck away.
And there's my contribution to this thread hijack, which is probably going to get much much larger...lol
TFF has allies of course...
The impregnable Fortress of Black Dragon, which stands unconquered within the territory of FF.net. Their cloned army of Rayden's, Ranma's and the (uncloned, thankfully) DAPC scare off any who would dare approach.
The noble forces of planet Rokudaime, who strive to establish peace between the various factions.
And we cannot forget our allies from AFF.net, locked in their eternal civil war... our prayers go out to them every night.
The neutral factions Ficwad and Mediaminer, where evidence of the war remains nonexistent...
Anyway...onto self insertion. Use this guy as you will. Formatted cause it's easy.
Name: Ryusanji
Rank: Lieutenant
Service: Frontline Infantry
War Role: The leader of the infantry companies of Planet Suikox, who have chosen to side with the TFF. Suikox brings with them many battle-hardened warriors and sorcerers, who make up for their lack of technology with fierce fighting spirit, strength, and a desire for the common good of all.
Love Interest: Sierra Mikain, because a vampire is fine too.
Children: Sierra comes with a couple dozen vampires. They sorta count. Technically.
Underlings: Various Suikoden characters. Mathiu as a strategist. Warriors of great reknown such as Viktor, Flik, Georg Prime, Tir McDohl, and Killey. Magicians such as the teleporter Viki, the seer Leknaat, and the ancient Crowley. Our secret weapon/last resort is to release Luca Blight upon the enemy and run the fuck away.
And there's my contribution to this thread hijack, which is probably going to get much much larger...lol
Major Daneel R. was one of the most respected and valuable participants of the previous Anti-Yaoi war, despite not being a front-liner. A technician with enviable managerial and logistics skills, he was responsible for making sure the war heroes always had their fangirl-blasting toys in top condition. It is public knowledge that he was in love with Uzume; a love he never acted upon, for he knew she would never be his.
Near the end of the war, when troops became scarce, Daneel seized his experimental camo suit and sneaked his way into enemy lines. There he learned of the YAOI's plan to send the professional loli assassin, Golden Darkness, to slay General Assassin Guy. However, Golden Darkness was in fact a distraction. The YAOI did not expect her to suceed, and the YAOI had every intention to slay the little assassin even if she accomplished her mission.
Why?
It's common fact that the YAOI hates lolis.
Daneel refused to allow this to happen, because Golden Darkness has delicious thigh meat, and delicious thigh meat should be protected at any cost. He succeeded and saved the girl, but in the process was struck with a fangirl bio-weapon. He survived, but from that day onwards his body became overly weak and frail, and he's not expected to live a long life.
Since the war, he had idled aways his last days teaching loli orphans. Golden Darkness (aka Yami-chan) stays with him, mostly because she has nowhere else to go and nothing else to do, and she's sick of bounty hounters going after her. Of course, their daily life is full of silly antics and embarrassing situations as expected of life with a quiet tsundere loli who can turn her body into weapons.
They share a fondness for taiyaki and delicious cake.
(Expect a snippet soon)
Near the end of the war, when troops became scarce, Daneel seized his experimental camo suit and sneaked his way into enemy lines. There he learned of the YAOI's plan to send the professional loli assassin, Golden Darkness, to slay General Assassin Guy. However, Golden Darkness was in fact a distraction. The YAOI did not expect her to suceed, and the YAOI had every intention to slay the little assassin even if she accomplished her mission.
Why?
It's common fact that the YAOI hates lolis.
Daneel refused to allow this to happen, because Golden Darkness has delicious thigh meat, and delicious thigh meat should be protected at any cost. He succeeded and saved the girl, but in the process was struck with a fangirl bio-weapon. He survived, but from that day onwards his body became overly weak and frail, and he's not expected to live a long life.
Since the war, he had idled aways his last days teaching loli orphans. Golden Darkness (aka Yami-chan) stays with him, mostly because she has nowhere else to go and nothing else to do, and she's sick of bounty hounters going after her. Of course, their daily life is full of silly antics and embarrassing situations as expected of life with a quiet tsundere loli who can turn her body into weapons.
They share a fondness for taiyaki and delicious cake.
(Expect a snippet soon)
Name: Bii-kun
Fleet Name: 25th United Spacey Fleet
Rank: Lieutenant Commander
Service: 13th Wing / Bunny Squadron
War Role: Variable Gunstar Squadron Commander
Love Interest: Any cute girls or guys. If it walks on two legs and looks cute... I'd hit it.
Children: What... you mad?
Underlings:
2nd Lieutenant Amane Misa-Misa (How does she keep killing without firing a shot that hits?!?)
2nd Lieutenant Ben Dixon ("The hell do you mean I'm out of plot armour?!?")
Ciara (Bii-kun's Variable Gunstar AI)
Fleet Name: 25th United Spacey Fleet
Rank: Lieutenant Commander
Service: 13th Wing / Bunny Squadron
War Role: Variable Gunstar Squadron Commander
Love Interest: Any cute girls or guys. If it walks on two legs and looks cute... I'd hit it.
Children: What... you mad?
Underlings:
2nd Lieutenant Amane Misa-Misa (How does she keep killing without firing a shot that hits?!?)
2nd Lieutenant Ben Dixon ("The hell do you mean I'm out of plot armour?!?")
Ciara (Bii-kun's Variable Gunstar AI)
No, no problems with the Ver 2.0 Map.
But you mind if I... make it much more illustrated? Like, with world's and galaxies?
Name: Anti Assasinguy
Fleet Name (If you are Commander, if not, key in Squadron): 117th Lightyear Fleet
Rank: Wargames General
Service: Military Command 4th Tier
War Role: Strategist and part-time Hacker and Economic Minister for the TFF Worlds. Pencil Pusher.
Love Interest: Uzume no Sekirei (Wife of 7 Years)
Children: Kara Assasinguy
Notable Underlings (Only applies to ranks of command- please limit yourselves to 5):
TK-47 (Squadron Lieutenant); Leon Kennedy (MI Sergeant); Albert Wesker (Squad Captain); Neville Longbottom (Flight Officer); Kuchiki Rukia (Drill Instructor)
But you mind if I... make it much more illustrated? Like, with world's and galaxies?
Name: Anti Assasinguy
Fleet Name (If you are Commander, if not, key in Squadron): 117th Lightyear Fleet
Rank: Wargames General
Service: Military Command 4th Tier
War Role: Strategist and part-time Hacker and Economic Minister for the TFF Worlds. Pencil Pusher.
Love Interest: Uzume no Sekirei (Wife of 7 Years)
Children: Kara Assasinguy
Notable Underlings (Only applies to ranks of command- please limit yourselves to 5):
TK-47 (Squadron Lieutenant); Leon Kennedy (MI Sergeant); Albert Wesker (Squad Captain); Neville Longbottom (Flight Officer); Kuchiki Rukia (Drill Instructor)
Just something assed up I cooked up for a backstory.
A Tribute to JohnnyG.
How It Began
Eons ago, before the great and mighty TFF Worlds were established, the worlds were known... as The FFverse. Made up of hundreds of thousands of planets and stars, the FFverse was governed by a just and wise ruler, who was known as Johnny G, while his aide, the War General Hibiki the 54th kept peace throughout the solar systems with the Great Army of Riters. All was well... until... THEY came.
The Gods of the FFverse, The Admin, set foot on Planet I384866; the homeworld of Johnny G, and demanded the hand of the General Hibiki the 54th for a Crusade. This would be known as the Thousand Year Slaughter, for more than a trillion lives would lay dead in the wake of the bloody trail that the Great Army of Riters left behind, in their purge of supposed Unholy. It was not until the war entered its 999th Year, that Johnny G realised that something was amiss with The Gods' Holy Crusade.
But it was too late.
The Gods that had fashioned such a world of freedom, of peace, tolerance, and understanding, had been corrupted by an Unholy being themselves, one known to this day as the Leader of CANON; Kishimoto the Immortal; the Shadow of YAOI. Hibiki the 54th, devastated by the deception, and that the blood his sword had slain, were those of the TRUE freedom fighters: The Awakened, the beings we are today, cleansed of the immoral Gods' clutches and corruption, took the Sword of Words, and laid himself to rest in a cryogenic slumber, never to awaken.
Johnny G, watching the subjects of his fair Kingdom fall before such tyranny, and the blood of innocence spilled before him, succumbed to the call of The Void, and in its wake, threw the FFverse, into Chaos. As the war ended, and The Gods of the FFverse and their unholy alliance with Kishimoto The Immortal reached its climax, one boy took a stand and brought with him many of our grandfathers, grandmothers and their fathers, to a Core in the Centre of the FFverse, where we live to this day, as the Galaxy begins to tear itself apart.
The name of the boy was Hawk. And he is now serving a 3rd term as President of TFF; a homeworld of 12 planets, far from the clutches of the corrupted Gods, and within a Core, where their powers cannot hope to extend. We have lived 68 years since that day, and President Hawk, our champion, grows weaker by the day. His powers and emotional anguish continue to plague him, and The Gods, angered by his blasphemy, are coming after us.
However, if they think we would go down without a fight, they are wrong.
On our side are the battle-hardened Space Marines, an intergalactic army of war specialists, eager to protect, eager to kill, and most importantly, eager to win. With a weakened Imperium, but an Imperium nonetheless, they continue to assist us in a battle where they are needed. Their Throne-bearer lies within our wishes.
Many other countless world now side with us, and as the worlds have separated, called themselves The Omniverse. Many are good, many are evil and all... are the desires of the Gods of the former FFverse.
YAOI, a titanic batallion of demonic females rages the Outer Rim of the Universe, as the void expands, bent on the enslavement and submission of men into their God of Pain and Pleasure, many have converted. All are merciless. The men that have been delved into the corruption of YAOI, while some are noble, continue to ravage and pillage planets without mercy, viewing nubile young males as prizes, and the use of the other half of the planet's sex as a genocide cause.
CANON, an inactive fanatical cult has reared its ugly head again, bent on the widespread of The Plan, as the freedoms of many an omniverse dweller begin to dwindle to the perverse ideas of Kishimoto The Immortal, an aforementioned being of immense power, bent on the manipulation of the universe to his will; to His Plan.
Kubo, the anti-Kishimoto, lays asleep until The End, and as Second Immortal sleeps, his nemesis wreaks havoc across the world with his dark whispers and corruption. Then Immortal sleeps, until The End comes. We await.
How do I know all this? Who am I, you ask? Why, I am you.
Awaken thyself. Your story has just begun.
A Tribute to JohnnyG.
How It Began
Eons ago, before the great and mighty TFF Worlds were established, the worlds were known... as The FFverse. Made up of hundreds of thousands of planets and stars, the FFverse was governed by a just and wise ruler, who was known as Johnny G, while his aide, the War General Hibiki the 54th kept peace throughout the solar systems with the Great Army of Riters. All was well... until... THEY came.
The Gods of the FFverse, The Admin, set foot on Planet I384866; the homeworld of Johnny G, and demanded the hand of the General Hibiki the 54th for a Crusade. This would be known as the Thousand Year Slaughter, for more than a trillion lives would lay dead in the wake of the bloody trail that the Great Army of Riters left behind, in their purge of supposed Unholy. It was not until the war entered its 999th Year, that Johnny G realised that something was amiss with The Gods' Holy Crusade.
But it was too late.
The Gods that had fashioned such a world of freedom, of peace, tolerance, and understanding, had been corrupted by an Unholy being themselves, one known to this day as the Leader of CANON; Kishimoto the Immortal; the Shadow of YAOI. Hibiki the 54th, devastated by the deception, and that the blood his sword had slain, were those of the TRUE freedom fighters: The Awakened, the beings we are today, cleansed of the immoral Gods' clutches and corruption, took the Sword of Words, and laid himself to rest in a cryogenic slumber, never to awaken.
Johnny G, watching the subjects of his fair Kingdom fall before such tyranny, and the blood of innocence spilled before him, succumbed to the call of The Void, and in its wake, threw the FFverse, into Chaos. As the war ended, and The Gods of the FFverse and their unholy alliance with Kishimoto The Immortal reached its climax, one boy took a stand and brought with him many of our grandfathers, grandmothers and their fathers, to a Core in the Centre of the FFverse, where we live to this day, as the Galaxy begins to tear itself apart.
The name of the boy was Hawk. And he is now serving a 3rd term as President of TFF; a homeworld of 12 planets, far from the clutches of the corrupted Gods, and within a Core, where their powers cannot hope to extend. We have lived 68 years since that day, and President Hawk, our champion, grows weaker by the day. His powers and emotional anguish continue to plague him, and The Gods, angered by his blasphemy, are coming after us.
However, if they think we would go down without a fight, they are wrong.
On our side are the battle-hardened Space Marines, an intergalactic army of war specialists, eager to protect, eager to kill, and most importantly, eager to win. With a weakened Imperium, but an Imperium nonetheless, they continue to assist us in a battle where they are needed. Their Throne-bearer lies within our wishes.
Many other countless world now side with us, and as the worlds have separated, called themselves The Omniverse. Many are good, many are evil and all... are the desires of the Gods of the former FFverse.
YAOI, a titanic batallion of demonic females rages the Outer Rim of the Universe, as the void expands, bent on the enslavement and submission of men into their God of Pain and Pleasure, many have converted. All are merciless. The men that have been delved into the corruption of YAOI, while some are noble, continue to ravage and pillage planets without mercy, viewing nubile young males as prizes, and the use of the other half of the planet's sex as a genocide cause.
CANON, an inactive fanatical cult has reared its ugly head again, bent on the widespread of The Plan, as the freedoms of many an omniverse dweller begin to dwindle to the perverse ideas of Kishimoto The Immortal, an aforementioned being of immense power, bent on the manipulation of the universe to his will; to His Plan.
Kubo, the anti-Kishimoto, lays asleep until The End, and as Second Immortal sleeps, his nemesis wreaks havoc across the world with his dark whispers and corruption. Then Immortal sleeps, until The End comes. We await.
How do I know all this? Who am I, you ask? Why, I am you.
Awaken thyself. Your story has just begun.
Name: Luthorne.
General Appearance: Long black hair, black scraggly beard, bit of a mustache when he gets bored of shaving. A bit over six feet tall, kind of skinny. Typically wears black goggles, a sleeveless labcoat with huge pockets worn over a long-sleeve shirt, blue jeans, tough black boots, a belt with a bunch of bizarre gadgets hanging off of it, and a pair of gauntlets that possess tiny manipulators stemming out from the tips of the fingers that he puts on for the fiddly work.
Fleet Name: Madboy Support Squad.
Rank:
"Eh...official rank? I've got...something...I'll remember one of these days. Pass the tesseract contorter while you're waiting, would you?"
Service: Independent Research and Development squad.
War Role:
"It's pretty simple, really. We take all the weird stuff no one has the slightest idea what it does, and then figure out what makes it tick. Or annhilate, oh, about a quarter of our fleet, but that's why I have clones with backed up memories. After we figure it out, we work it into weapons that other people can use, and test them out where we don't destroy anyone but ourselves. Oh, yeah, and flesh-eating zombie loli mutants. We do them too."
"Yeah, you know that horrible mpreg virus that YAOI likes to seed planets with? We were the ones that figured out how it worked, and turned it into the Yuri Bomb. Terra II, you know the Saber Marionette J universe? Immeasurably improved, I'd say."
"What, the front lines? Not unless it's an emergency...sure, some of our weapons are powerful, but plenty are just plain weird, and ninety percent of the stuff is juryrigged beyond human comprehension...not to mention, it practically never hits. Targetting is usually the fiddly bit...after all, no point in hitting your enemy if it just makes a prettty rainbow, right? Our ships are pretty fast and tough, since we often spend time jetting away from massive explosions, but like I said, we usually can't hit the broad side of a barn...of course, some of the monsters we've got can be pretty vicious if you need emergency front-line troops, I suppose..."
Love Interest: None.
"Look, love's a wonderful thing and all, but romance is not the end all, be all of existence."
"I don't mind other people falling in love - happy for them, really - but I've got other things to do than get involved in a long-term relationship."
Children:
"Pregnancy is creepy. I'll stick with creating life forms in test tubes, thank you."
"Babies irritate me. At least with flesh-eating monstrosities that want to kill you as soon as they break open the vat, you know where you stand, but babies. And everyone complains when you just want to run a few minor experiments on the little buggers...bah."
"What? No, kids are fine. I like kids. They have less stupid in them than most adults, overall. It's babies that irritate me. Kids, I wouldn't mind, if they didn't have to babies firs- hold that thought. Brainstorm."
Notable Coworkers:
Doctor Light and Doctor Wiley: After YAOI had finished reprogramming Megaman, X, Zero, and their other robots, Doctor Light was brokenhearted and listless. Doctor Wiley, on the other hand, wanted revenge. He went out, dragged Doctor Light out of his inebriated state before he could be sodomized by his own creations, and came looking for the resistance. Doctor Light still has a tendency to get drunk when he has too much time to think, but the two are skilled roboticists, and Doctor Wiley, though not quite as creative as Doctor Light, has a devious mind that has served us well.
Kisuke Urahara: While the Bleach universe still holds out firmly against YAOI, due to Kenpachi preemptively slicing asunder any and all invaders, as well as liberal healing hugs from Orihime and Rangiku, Kisuke...well, he was interested by what all might be out there to learn about, but going out on his own in a multiverse mostly overrun by YAOI forces was not a sound idea. While he'd experimented with a female gigai, he eventually discarded the notion in favor of seeking out our squadron. One of our finest minds, his devious nature, twisted mind, and complete disregard for human life has been a great boon to our squad, as his his knowledge of spiritual matters, which have been rapidly expanding as he gains a larger variety of test subjects, and has been branching out into magic, ki, chakra, and other esoteric energies lately.
Doctor Ichiro 'Icchan' Mihara: While fairly safe, given the extremely high female-to-male ratio of the Angelic Layer universe, the fact that the CLAMP universes tend to possess a high ratio of shotas and bishis was of great concern to Doctor Icchan. Deciding to do his best to save his friends as well as others in his dimension, Doctor Icchan set forth to offer his service to our squad. His skills in cybernetics, neural interfaces, small-scale robotics, and other such fields have been invaluable, and he has recently expanded his field of research to include psionics and human anatomy.
Yui Ikari: Let no one say that the female mind is unsuited for science...after dropping by an Evangelion universe, we decided to alter the timeline, creating our own monstrosities to take down the Angels, rather than letting Yui fuse with Unit-01. After explaining the probable future had we not interfered, she was generally grateful, and accompanied us, along with her son Shinji, leaving Gendo behind. Her skills in bioengineering and cybernetics are, frankly, astounding, and it's amazing how differently Shinji is turning out. Admittedly, some of it probably has to do with hanging out with the Ork Madboys, Jõgermonsters, and other weird people we have hanging around here, but he's definitely shaping up to be a good-natured little hellion...
-----
Oi. That took longer to write up than I thought...hopefully this isn't Mary Sue-ism. :sweat2:
There was one other guy I really wanted to snag...but I didn't want to leave out the ones I had, so I kept it at five. :blue:
General Appearance: Long black hair, black scraggly beard, bit of a mustache when he gets bored of shaving. A bit over six feet tall, kind of skinny. Typically wears black goggles, a sleeveless labcoat with huge pockets worn over a long-sleeve shirt, blue jeans, tough black boots, a belt with a bunch of bizarre gadgets hanging off of it, and a pair of gauntlets that possess tiny manipulators stemming out from the tips of the fingers that he puts on for the fiddly work.
Fleet Name: Madboy Support Squad.
Rank:
"Eh...official rank? I've got...something...I'll remember one of these days. Pass the tesseract contorter while you're waiting, would you?"
Service: Independent Research and Development squad.
War Role:
"It's pretty simple, really. We take all the weird stuff no one has the slightest idea what it does, and then figure out what makes it tick. Or annhilate, oh, about a quarter of our fleet, but that's why I have clones with backed up memories. After we figure it out, we work it into weapons that other people can use, and test them out where we don't destroy anyone but ourselves. Oh, yeah, and flesh-eating zombie loli mutants. We do them too."
"Yeah, you know that horrible mpreg virus that YAOI likes to seed planets with? We were the ones that figured out how it worked, and turned it into the Yuri Bomb. Terra II, you know the Saber Marionette J universe? Immeasurably improved, I'd say."
"What, the front lines? Not unless it's an emergency...sure, some of our weapons are powerful, but plenty are just plain weird, and ninety percent of the stuff is juryrigged beyond human comprehension...not to mention, it practically never hits. Targetting is usually the fiddly bit...after all, no point in hitting your enemy if it just makes a prettty rainbow, right? Our ships are pretty fast and tough, since we often spend time jetting away from massive explosions, but like I said, we usually can't hit the broad side of a barn...of course, some of the monsters we've got can be pretty vicious if you need emergency front-line troops, I suppose..."
Love Interest: None.
"Look, love's a wonderful thing and all, but romance is not the end all, be all of existence."
"I don't mind other people falling in love - happy for them, really - but I've got other things to do than get involved in a long-term relationship."
Children:
"Pregnancy is creepy. I'll stick with creating life forms in test tubes, thank you."
"Babies irritate me. At least with flesh-eating monstrosities that want to kill you as soon as they break open the vat, you know where you stand, but babies. And everyone complains when you just want to run a few minor experiments on the little buggers...bah."
"What? No, kids are fine. I like kids. They have less stupid in them than most adults, overall. It's babies that irritate me. Kids, I wouldn't mind, if they didn't have to babies firs- hold that thought. Brainstorm."
Notable Coworkers:
Doctor Light and Doctor Wiley: After YAOI had finished reprogramming Megaman, X, Zero, and their other robots, Doctor Light was brokenhearted and listless. Doctor Wiley, on the other hand, wanted revenge. He went out, dragged Doctor Light out of his inebriated state before he could be sodomized by his own creations, and came looking for the resistance. Doctor Light still has a tendency to get drunk when he has too much time to think, but the two are skilled roboticists, and Doctor Wiley, though not quite as creative as Doctor Light, has a devious mind that has served us well.
Kisuke Urahara: While the Bleach universe still holds out firmly against YAOI, due to Kenpachi preemptively slicing asunder any and all invaders, as well as liberal healing hugs from Orihime and Rangiku, Kisuke...well, he was interested by what all might be out there to learn about, but going out on his own in a multiverse mostly overrun by YAOI forces was not a sound idea. While he'd experimented with a female gigai, he eventually discarded the notion in favor of seeking out our squadron. One of our finest minds, his devious nature, twisted mind, and complete disregard for human life has been a great boon to our squad, as his his knowledge of spiritual matters, which have been rapidly expanding as he gains a larger variety of test subjects, and has been branching out into magic, ki, chakra, and other esoteric energies lately.
Doctor Ichiro 'Icchan' Mihara: While fairly safe, given the extremely high female-to-male ratio of the Angelic Layer universe, the fact that the CLAMP universes tend to possess a high ratio of shotas and bishis was of great concern to Doctor Icchan. Deciding to do his best to save his friends as well as others in his dimension, Doctor Icchan set forth to offer his service to our squad. His skills in cybernetics, neural interfaces, small-scale robotics, and other such fields have been invaluable, and he has recently expanded his field of research to include psionics and human anatomy.
Yui Ikari: Let no one say that the female mind is unsuited for science...after dropping by an Evangelion universe, we decided to alter the timeline, creating our own monstrosities to take down the Angels, rather than letting Yui fuse with Unit-01. After explaining the probable future had we not interfered, she was generally grateful, and accompanied us, along with her son Shinji, leaving Gendo behind. Her skills in bioengineering and cybernetics are, frankly, astounding, and it's amazing how differently Shinji is turning out. Admittedly, some of it probably has to do with hanging out with the Ork Madboys, Jõgermonsters, and other weird people we have hanging around here, but he's definitely shaping up to be a good-natured little hellion...
-----
Oi. That took longer to write up than I thought...hopefully this isn't Mary Sue-ism. :sweat2:
There was one other guy I really wanted to snag...but I didn't want to leave out the ones I had, so I kept it at five. :blue: