Pure Crackfic!

flarnith

Well-Known Member
#51
ok here i go hope it's not too out there: Snippet!



Small update on the omni-verse


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flarnith never knew what hit his outpost of Twilia back in the FF sector. But as the YAOI flags started waving, he knew that fleeing to the TFF was the only sane choice to make. After training hard and meeting a few characters saved from the YAOI's grasp he had made his choice on how he would fight.

At SJC's sacrifice and the start of the wars now known as the 'white crusades' Flarnith was seen at the frontlines dousing zombie fan girl and fan guys with liberal amounts of promethium within a modified Crusader 'jack. After having suffering massive damage to the jack upon the battle of Kronus, Flarnith encounters the YAOI general of this part of space; SasUke, the dreaded butt pirate.

"So it is you who's keeping TFF from reaching the Yuri Union."

Sasuke smirks and I feel the sudden urge to rip his head off and use it as a football as he replies. "Of course I'm keeping you foolish TFFers from them; we obviously cannot allow gaining outside support. Not that it matters for you. You will die here TFFer, Die and be raised as one of us."

I feel the hackles on the back start to rise. I think I'm a pretty good 'jack pilot, but I'm caught out here without even a bolter to my name. So if I'm to survive this encounter IÆm only going to have three shots at this.

I rush in; Fists close to my chest and let loose a few light boxing jabs. As expected all my fists come up with is air and log as the basterd replaces him out of the way. I hear his patented Uchiha Drawl ? long before I catch sight of him again. ôUseless, a lurker class TFFer could never be able to lay a finger on me. For I'm an Avenger and I will get what I want."

As I stare him down, I know my anger is rising I couldn't help but to quote "You'd better be careful what labels you use!" as I charge in again. With the anger fueling my fists their speed increased enough that he had to actively block instead on dodge.

After a few well placed body shots I felt I was in enough of a groove to let loose one of my three shots. ôAlright Sasuke listen up, this hand of mine glows with an awesome power! Its bright cry tells me to defeat you! Here I go."

As a rush of Power overwhelms me, my right hand shines with a bright green glow as a piece of shoulder armor disintegrates and gives me the needed boost in speed. "Shocking; First Shining Bullet!"

My fist manages to solidly connect with the Emoduck's pretty face. I smile as I know that one blow just damaged the YAOIÆs command line as they wont allow anyone but pretty boys to lead there hordes. Unfortunately for me the only real blood I see flowing is a cut on the cheek from where my knuckles managed to slice in.

With my battle tempo flowing, I decide to let loose the second shot. "This hand of mine shines and roars! Its bright cry tells me to grasp victory! Take this; my love, my anger, and All of my sorrow!"

And with the cry of "Annihilating; Second Shining Bullet" and the burst of my other Shoulder-pad into fuel for the attack I being down my fist toward a pair of red eyes...
"Oh shit Sharingan!" I cry out as my attack goes wildly off course and I crash hard into stone.

Now this is bad, I'm down to my last shot, and with the use of a stolen Juujin bunshin with a snake, I just lost my battle tempo and Sasuke's going to use the damn Haxagan eyes of his.

I pick myself off the ground and I raise my arms and fists next to my head. A boxer's stance as I study the Uchiha before me with his red eyes whirling. Before I could advance and try to regain my tempo, I feel my world open up to pain.

Punches, kicks, fading in and out the Uchiha used hit and fade tactics unseen before and with such ferocity that it felt like hell itself was pounding on me. æThe duck is trying to wear me down, break me itÆs not going to happen.Æ I cry out in my mind.

I blindly lash out with a hard right hook, to try and give myself breathing room from the assault. The problem for me is that was exactly what Sasuke was waiting for. As my fist lashed out toward his head he ducked under it and gave a mighty kick to my chest and sent me skyward.

As a floated in the air, waiting for gravity I knew what was coming. And I braced all that I could. IÆm getting smashed, like a leaf in a hurricane as his foot makes contact with my head and my head meets rock I fight off blacking out from the shear head injury. I can barely hear Sasuke but most of it comes though my damaged skull. ôFoolish TFFer, Thought you could defeat ME? Thought you could stop me from fulfilling my dream of killing that man? You are but trash, to be ground underfoot.ö

I cough blood, great looks like IÆm bleeding on the inside as well. As I hoarsely bite out ôI got to ruin your face, thatÆs pretty good for a æLurker class TFFer who would never lay a finger on youÆ ôI chuckle, it hurts and I cough blood again a moment after but it made me feel better. ôThe dead shall not speak!ö Sasuke cries out as I get fiercely get kicked away.

I breathe deeply a few times and I attempt to rise from my prone position. As I start making my shambling rise onto my legs I hear croons and sighs of æSasukeÆ. Well nutbunnies a horde is headed in this direction, attracted by the fighting I guess. I attempt to hurry back into a fighting stance but as I do, I hear him start talking again.

ôCan you hear it, the sound of inevitability? How long do you think TFF will hold with traitors in it midst? How long until Hawk himself, falls? It will not be long now, even as we speak YAOI agents are undermining the Lurker wall and once that collapses TFF shall surly follow.ö

ôYou think youÆve won?ö I replied. ôYou think that TFF will fall that easy? Not going to happen ya idjit. Even if I fall today many others will take my place. And out bright Ideals will cast out the darkness of YAOI.ö

ôSuch simple thought from a simple soul, fine then.ö Sasuke says then clutches his wrist. ôIf your that eager to die I can arrange that.ö And his hand with the wrist being clutched start cracking with electrical power.

æChidori huh, guess this is it my last shot.Æ As I think in my head, I then yell outöAlrighty then! Here I go; this hand of mine burns with an awesome power! Its loud roar tells me to win even if my very soul must be burned to ash! Here I go!ö

Sasuke lances forward, Chidori primed and ready to take my life. And I yell out to meet him ôExterminating; Last Burning Bullet!ö as my superheated hand met and clashed with the lance the Chidori became, then there was an explosion and my mind blanks out.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up in the middle of a charred battlefield, Sasuke a few feet from me but from what I can see out of my good eye, he looks to be breathing. Damn I had hoped that took both of us out.

æIÆm spentÆ I think æwhen that horde gets here IÆm toast. Ah well I made a good run of it didnÆt I?Æ I continue to lurk in my thoughts as the sound of the hordes encroachment of the battlefield become louder, and dark things start to block out the sky.

I close my one working eye and resign myself to fate as I feel something start to pick me up. I didnÆt feel like a hand or even close to human. As I reopen my good eye I see a Zerg overlord picking me up with its tentacles and putting me in its hold.

ôLooks like the reinforcements from planet Blizzard are here, IÆll have to thank Chaosdrac for the save.ö I grind out as the Overlord turns back toward space I look down at the wreck of my æjack and see the TFF banner still proudly waiving on its back. And I smile and close my good eye.
 

cyrusII

Well-Known Member
#52
The captains voice sounded over the intercom.

"WE NEED MORE POWER!"

A clearly Scottish accent answers back. "I can' give 'er anymore capt'! She'll break apart!"

"DAMNIT CYRUS! You're not scottish! AND GET THE APPLE OFF YOUR HEAD!"

".... bastard."

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing!"
 

Flamewolf

Well-Known Member
#53
i volunteer to go deep into enemy territory to gather pictures and weaknesses of our foes. i'm not likely to survive this mission but if i can get even one picture of the true enemy, the rest of you will know who to eliminate and how to do it
 
#54
Name: David A. Abramczyk, aka 'Bravo-9'

Rank: Major

Service: Army

War Role: Rear-Echelon/ Special Duties (29th Recon- "Hawk's Harriers")

Love Interest: Mikuru Asahina (How? "That's Classified")

Children: None

Underlings: Master Chief Petty Officer SPARTAN-117, Lt. Samus Aran

======

Major Abramczyk is a grizzled veteran of the original yaoi wars. Back when they broke out, he was placed in charge of a rag-tag group of misfit soldiers, rejoicing under the title of "The 29th Army Reconnaissance Unit". At first despairing of the shoddy job he had, the then Lieutenant Abramczyk suddenly had an idea after a booze bender one night. Slowly, over several months, he molded the unit into a carefully trained Commando Troop, and volunteered them for a Deep Strike mission into Yaoi Territory to attack a Yaoi-ist "Re-Education Camp". The Mission was a wild success, as many important figures were rescued from a fate worse than death. However, the 29th suffered severe casualties on that mission, and so was withdrawn from frontline work for several months to re-fit out.
 

byakuryuu

Well-Known Member
#55
Commander SJC stared out to space, watching the Fighters take to flight, sipping a glass of water as he did so. Impatiently, he tapped his foot, waiting for President Hawk to make his arrival. While the man was, without doubt, the most powerful mortal in the Universe, the man's tendency to arrive late irked him to no end.

"Field Commander." Hawk had arrived. SJC turned and saluted, "At ease, soldier."

Hawk took a seat on one of the couches, as the

"It's good to see you not dead." the man continued, "You're a legend you know, General Assasinguy personally wants to kick your ass for making him give YAOI the birdy."

SJC said nothing.

"You think you don't deserve to live?"

"Fifty million people were on my Batallion, Sir President. A hundredth of them are somewhere out there, probably dead, while the rest are now SPACE FOOD for THE FIREWALL INVADERS!" SJC slammed his fist against the coffee table as his President looked on nonchalantly. "Why do I live?" SJC slumped slightly, "The whole planet blew up. I made the soldiers charge the ions. I gave the order."

"And thanks to the White Crusades, we have a base of sorts in Yaoi territory." Hawk took in a cigarette, "You'll be glad to know your... 5th Tier General made it out there alive."

"Granger?" SJC gaped. "But - But how? I saw the Void. He couldn't have - ?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't be."

The Field Commander's eyes widened as he spied Jack Granger, his trusted sidekick, in Space Marine Power Armor, flanked by a Chaos Marine and a Grey Knight. The man looked... bigger.

"Had no arms left, and my intestines were like sausage trails, until, ya know, Nurgle's boys found me." he gestured to the Chaos Marine, "Patched me up and made me good to go, sir."

SJC still speechless, Hawk turned to the Grey Knight.

"The power armor on this man's unit stable, soldier?"

"Yes, milord."

"Don't call me that."

"Yes, milord."

Hawk only sighed.

"SJC, remain on inactive duty until I get someone to die and you can take his place."

There was only a nod.

And the eager anticipation of battle.

/-/-/

"God damn it, Zero, how the HECK do you do that?"

The Xenomorph gave its equivalent of a grin as Luthorne looked over at the Royal Flush the male had just achieved. With scrutinising eyes, the Madboy Tech LT turned to his own pocket 5s and watched in ire as Zero grabbed his winnings.

He didn't mind, Zero, since the kid was still a young drone (Named after Wily's corrupted mecha son), and his brothers put up a lot of annoyance, more than Zero did. And her mom was ALWAYS whining in that Xeno-speak...

"Hey, Luthorne, wanna grab a bite?" Yui called out.

He turned to Yui, then back to the young drone.

"I'll raise the pot to 40K."

Zero only nodded in enthusiasm.

/-/-/

"Vice-President Genocide Heart, sir!" Assasinguy saluted. "I have the reports on the sighting of Draco Malfoy's fleet within the Lurker Firewall. The spies stated around three fleets are heading towards E7."

Genocide Heart smirked.

"The Prince of Yaoi is invading with three fleets?" Heart began, 'That seems very strange." the amusement dropped quickly, "Wait; what planet in the Omniverse is currently holding The Crack?"

The Crack. The Key of Unlocking Reality and Fantasy.

"E7 - !" Assasinguy's eyes widened, "Oh God... He - He couldn't be after The Crack; it's no use to the YAOI. It's just a hunk of junk to them."

"You're one of the Contributes to The Crack, General. You know the scope of its power." Heart looked to the stars outside his window, "The power that allowed us to escape The FFverse Gods 68 years ago; the source of Hawk's power! And your lifeforce. The lifeforce of every Contributor to The Crack."

"But they won't be able to unlock it." Assasinguy started; his panic level had just upped the ante several seconds ago. "It needs - !"

Kishimoto The Immortal.

"Retrieve The Crack." Vice-President Heart got up from his chair, "You leave now."

He didn't need telling twice.

/-/-/

So far, so good.
 

Flamewolf

Well-Known Member
#56
so does the crack have a hole to go with it hidden somewhere?
 

byakuryuu

Well-Known Member
#57
Flamewolf said:
so does the crack have a hole to go with it hidden somewhere?
The Crack is a key to Unlock Reality and Fantasy; an artifact bestowed upon the people by the Old Emperor Johnny G before succumbing to The Void. The artifact allows its user to create a disturbance in the fabric of time, space and relativity, and allowing the user to manipulate as he or she wishes. However, because of its flawed construct, the device only enjoys manipulative property, instead of true alteration.

It's initial use was for the restoration of dying planets and/or universes.

The TFF was created with the Crack, and ever year or so, the device is handed over to a Contributor; a man with heroic construct, to fuel The Crack with the energy it so desperately needs.

To date, there have been 18 Contributors. Hawk and Genocide Heart, as well as 2nd Tier Commander Zee Beeone, and of course, just recently, myself, 4th Tier General Assasinguy.

The device is a powerful object, and while YAOI are unable to manipulate it with their construction...

Their Immortal, Kishimoto The Immortal, can bend it to his will.

And ultimately doom us all.

Strangely, however, he does not seem interested in The Crack.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#58
In the depths of space, it is said that you can't hear screams. Which thankfully applies to taunting and whining.

Which is where com systems came in.

"Sir? Could you get her to stop? It's really pissing me off."

Bii-kun sighed as he looked over at the floating holographic display of Ben Dixon before replying lazily. "Hai hai."

Idly activating the com system, Bii-kun pushed his glasses back up his nose as he looked at his blonde subordinate. "Misa Misa-chan, could you please stop teasing Ben-kun with when he was supposed to have died. You know he's a bit touchy and it doesn't help that you're giving him negative numbers for his life-span."

Stretching, he looked calmly at the blonde who was raspberrying him. "Besides, the two of you shouldn't be yakking so much. This close to the neutral zone with the FF.NET imperium, com-silence would be a good thing, mmmh?"

"Yes sir." "Sure thing, Bii-kun."

"Much better..." A chirp from the sensors cut Bii-kun off as he focussed his attention where it was needed. Staying alive.

"Commander, a massive gravitational surge has been detected." The Bunny Squadron commander nodded at the formal voice of his AI as she lit up his HUD with displays.

Which was about the same time, said surge manifested in the form of a hole in space time being torn open as an organic appearing starship clawed its way from hyperspace.

"Corvette class Uchuu Kaiju detected. Enemy is launching Bishie class mecha."

"Kawaii..." the matching murmurs from both Bii-kun and Misa-Misa showed how affected the two of them were as the squadron prepped their weapons to deal with the bishonen-appearing biomechanical mecha.

"Bunny Hop formation, break-up and warp in for death blossom. Black, Brown. Cover me."

***

Variable Gunstar
The standard starfighter of the United Spacey Armed Force, the variable gunstar is a ponderously large vessel when compared to previous generations of variable fighters and star fighters. Still, despite its size, the ship when seen from a distance off is fairly sleek in terms of appearance.

This bulk comes mainly due to three factors; the staggering amount of firepower in the gunstar, the ridiciously thick plot armour, and the massively overpowered thrusters fed by a single plot generator.

In terms of weaponary, the Gunstar packs very simple weapons when you got down to it. First, there is the Hyperbeam main-cannon, the multiple arrays of twin homing lazer cannons, and then there are the silly amounts of snippet missle launchers hidden all over the gunstar.

The ridiciously thick plot armour ensures that the gunstar can take a beating and keep on ticking.

And then, there is of course, the massively overpowered drive system for use in dogfights and interplanetary travel. For longer flights, the plot generator is hooked up to a plothole warp engine, which allows for taking shortcuts.

All of these would have made it a superb starfighter. It, however, holds a far greater power. The ability to match enemy giant robots one on one, by being able to transform into a giant robot form. In this mode, the gunstar still has access to all of its weaponary, along with a melee beam weapon, typically in the form of beam sabers.

Uchuu Kaiju
Uchuu Kaiju are biomechanical monstrosities of starships employed by the FF.NET imperium. Known weaponary typically consists of a swarm of Bishonen biomechanical mecha.

Bishie class mecha are devastating against the general female population of the Omniverse and require extreme measures to deal with.
 
#59
Major Abramczyk kneeled behind the rock formation overlooking the river valley and peered through his binoculars at the yaoi base. In the centre of the base was a large post, and as he watched, he saw someone be dragged over to, and tied to it. He sighed. "M isn't going to like this..." he said, as Commander James Bond, 007, was brutally slain. He ducked down and picked up his rifle. "Chief? You and Aran know what to do." The SPARTAN supersoldier and Chozo Warrior both nodded and slipped away.

"All right, gentlemen, ladies. Let us cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war upon these Daemonspawn." he commented, as the calm was broken by a krak grenade detonating, and a squad of Kasrkins opening fire.

"CHARGE!"
 
#60
Name:TGF(Stands for The Great Fluffy, Refuse's to Disclose real name except to Close friends and Family whom call him Michael)

Rank:Colonel

Service:Space force

War Role:Leads an Attack force for the First line of Attack.(This is the best way I can Describe it XD*

Love Interest:Winry Rockbell(has been his wife for 2 years)

Children:None but Winry is Currently 5 Months Pregnant.

Underlings:Ichigo Kurosaki(Lieutenant); Kittan (Squad Captain); Spike Spiegel (Flight Officer)
________________________________________________________________

I must tell you all though that I Suck at Writing so do some of you mind writing some snippets for me?
 

S J C

Well-Known Member
#61
S J C stared out of his command window in his new GDI Construction Yard. He looked over at the Nod, Scrin, Allied, Soviet and Yuri (Mad man not union) yards that surrounded him. As his forces rebuild itself. He needed vengeance still with Scrin Bio-tech and Yuri's cloning tanks his forces would be at full strength in a few weeks. And this small world was safe for the time being covered in both Nod Stealth generators and Allied gap generators it was next to imposable to find. He was also had to test the new Genetic Mutator that would turn the enter divisions of Bishi into hulking idiots under his control.

There was also the Psychic Dominator cannon on his new flagship the TFFSS Tanya. With it he hoped to undo the yaoi brainwashing. or at least get them to control braking camps.
 

byakuryuu

Well-Known Member
#62
The Great Fluffy said:
Name:TGF(Stands for The Great Fluffy, Refuse's to Disclose real name except to Close friends and Family whom call him Michael)

Rank:Colonel

Service:Space force

War Role:Leads an Attack force for the First line of Attack.(This is the best way I can Describe it XD*

Love Interest:Winry Rockbell(has been his wife for 2 years)

Children:None but Winry is Currently 5 Months Pregnant.

Underlings:Ichigo Kurosaki(Lieutenant); Kittan (Squad Captain); Spike Spiegel (Flight Officer)
________________________________________________________________

I must tell you all though that I Suck at Writing so do some of you mind writing some snippets for me?
Fluffy, I AM creating this universe, along with your help, of course. I need Soldiers, heroes, Hell, even Samurai wannabes that want to assist Hawk's battle to keep the Daemon Females from conquering us. And let's not forget the corrupted Gods of FFnet, who continue to watch with power hungry eyes.

On a side note, from a certain Commander Souffle; we must reach YURI before all is lost.

We are the last bastion. And for Hawk's sake, format yourself.
 
#63
byakuryuu said:
The Great Fluffy said:
Name:TGF(Stands for The Great Fluffy, Refuse's to Disclose real name except to Close friends and Family whom call him Michael)

Rank:Colonel

Service:Space force

War Role:Leads an Attack force for the First line of Attack.(This is the best way I can Describe it XD*

Love Interest:Winry Rockbell(has been his wife for 2 years)

Children:None but Winry is Currently 5 Months Pregnant.

Underlings:Ichigo Kurosaki(Lieutenant); Kittan (Squad Captain); Spike Spiegel (Flight Officer)
________________________________________________________________

I must tell you all though that I Suck at Writing so do some of you mind writing some snippets for me?
Fluffy, I AM creating this universe, along with your help, of course. I need Soldiers, heroes, Hell, even Samurai wannabes that want to assist Hawk's battle to keep the Daemon Females from conquering us. And let's not forget the corrupted Gods of FFnet, who continue to watch with power hungry eyes.

On a side note, from a certain Commander Souffle; we must reach YURI before all is lost.

We are the last bastion. And for Hawk's sake, format yourself.
What do mean by format myself?

(Forgive me if this is a Stupid Question)
 

cyrusII

Well-Known Member
#64
byakuryuu said:
The Great Fluffy said:
Name:TGF(Stands for The Great Fluffy, Refuse's to Disclose real name except to Close friends and Family whom call him Michael)

Rank:Colonel

Service:Space force

War Role:Leads an Attack force for the First line of Attack.(This is the best way I can Describe it XD*

Love Interest:Winry Rockbell(has been his wife for 2 years)

Children:None but Winry is Currently 5 Months Pregnant.

Underlings:Ichigo Kurosaki(Lieutenant); Kittan (Squad Captain); Spike Spiegel (Flight Officer)
________________________________________________________________

I must tell you all though that I Suck at Writing so do some of you mind writing some snippets for me?
Fluffy, I AM creating this universe, along with your help, of course. I need Soldiers, heroes, Hell, even Samurai wannabes that want to assist Hawk's battle to keep the Daemon Females from conquering us. And let's not forget the corrupted Gods of FFnet, who continue to watch with power hungry eyes.

On a side note, from a certain Commander Souffle; we must reach YURI before all is lost.

We are the last bastion. And for Hawk's sake, format yourself.
I totally call comic relief!
 

Dubrichius

Well-Known Member
#65
I'd like to join in, so here's my character:

--------------------

Name: Dubrichius

Rank: 1st Technician (currently waiting for my promotion to Navigation Officer 4th Class to be processed)

Service: General ship maintenance

War Role: Making sure that all the vending machines abord the Indomitable don't run out of fun-sized Crunchie bars. :p

Love Interest: Head Chef Ukyo Kuonji (currently dating)

Children: None

Underlings: None (No-one else was willing to take the jobs too menial for even the service droids)

--------------------

I'll try to write a snippet later.
 
#66
Well... wow. This seems to have run away with itself... Well, it fits in with TFF rules.

I think I'll join in as well. :lol:

Name: Marquis Le'Quack (a.k.a. Serpest Melphim)

Fleet Name (If you are Commander, if not, key in Squadron): Officially Classified, unofficially part of Military HQ

Rank: Classified. (Liutenant Colonol)

Service: Classified. (Military Intelligence Division 1st Tier)

War Role: Highly Classified. Has been rarely seen in TFF HQ, last time was 8 years ago, was seen then bringing highly important news regarding the current debacle.

Unofficially, Le'Quack is a double agent who's loyalty lies with the top echelon of TFF alone - the previous 735 members. Everybody thereafter is less important.

Love Interest: Nico Robin

Children: None... ... yet...

Colleagues: Vash the Stampede, Danzou, and several TFF notable representatives.

Unofficially Marquis Le'Quack does not exist, nor does Serpest Melphim (though when in the TFF Headquarters, those are the names this man goes by. Throughout his career Marquis Le'Quack has seen more of the enemy than any sane man would dare to comprehend. As a child, his first venture into FF.net - before the Yaoi hordes began to copulate - he was brutally scarred by the first story he set eyes upon. A 14 year old mind is an impressionable thing and so it was with good reason that Serpest Melphim decided to get back at Yaoi.

Serpest Melphim was recruited secretly by President Hawk 2 years ago, and rose very quickly through the ranks to reach the inner 'perverted members' circle. He was then given several postings (one on Gunworld, several on the Elemental countries) where he tried and only partially succeeded in his work. Thankfully, to this day, the Yaoi hordes have yet to seriously go after Gun World, in part dut to the presence of the eternal commander, Vash the Stampede.

It is the topic of current debate whether or not Marquis Le'Quack actually works for TFF or if he has gone insane from his work. For the past year, Le'Quack has gone where few other men have gone before; he works as a spy, bringing back top secret information (such as whether the standard Yaoi!? uniform is purple or blue, or whether Kishimoto is preparing a new attack on what's left of common sense. It must be said that Le'Quack has been slightly affected by the pressure and importance of his work, and he is already scheduled for Quarantine the next time he returns to HQ.

Le'Quack's job is simple, the execution, however, is not. He longs to return to Military Intelligence where he can remain in safety, and not have to flit from corrupted world to corrupted world, from corrupted fandom to corrupted fandom, in search of that vital information: "What makes the Yaoi tick?" and "How to stop it's progress?"

Serpest Melphim salutes you all.
 
#67
Name: Karl Frank Galindo

Known Alias: Hellhammer, Marquis De Sade, Warhammer, and Bubba

Rank: Sergeant Major

Service: Army

Squadron/Unit: Unknown. Believed to be a Black-Ops Unit.

Specialties: Sniper/Counter-Sniper, Explosives Ordinance Demolition, and Electronic Warfare

Love Interest: None

Children: None. Sergeant Major Galindo is an Uncle and is determined to protect the future generations from the enemy that is Yaoi.

Underlings: Sergeant Major Kurt Galindo (E.O.D.), Staff Sergeant Mark Hague (E.O.D.), and Sergeant Kintaro Oe (Electronic Warfare)

Weapons Of Choice: Barrett M107 .50 Caliber Sniper/Anti-Vehicle Rifle, Heckler & Koch PSG-1 Sniper Rifle, Fragmentation Grenades, Satchel Charges, C4/Semtex, Springfield Armory 1911 .45 Caliber Semi-Auto Handgun, Mossberg Tactical 12 Gauge Shotgun with 000 Buckshot Shells, and a M79 Grenade Launcher.

Unit Motto's: "May God Have Mercy On My Enemies Because I Sure As Hell Won't!", "If Today Is My Day To Die I Will Take As Many Them To Hell With Me.", "Today Is A Good Day To Die. Better Them Than Me.", "It Is God's Duty To Forgive Them. It Is Our Duty To Arrange The Meeting."


Sergeant Major Galindo is the son of a veteran. Sergeant Major Galindo and his unit got the attention of the military after cutting the cables to a antenna tower that was being used by Yaoi fangirls. The unit then placed shape charges on the antenna tower and claymore mines facing every door in the building so if the enemy tried to leave they would be killed instantly by the mines. When the shape charges were detonated the tower collapsed onto the building the was occupied by the enemy. The unit proceded to sniper any remants of the Yaoi fangirls. After their mission was complete they left what became their calling card. They drew a picture of a cartoon face looking over a fence and the picture said "Kilroy Was Here". What gained them notoriety was the fact that they used the blood of the enemy to draw the picture. It should be noted that this particular unit has a reputation for being both drinkers and hellraisers. Sergeant Major Karl Galindo has a habit of smoking cigars and drinking beer and whiskey and was also diciplined after kicking a superior officer in the nuts and then kicking the officer's head in with a steel toe boot after the officer made a disrespectful comment about the Sergeant Major's Mother and Sister. Sergeant Major Kurt Galindo and Staff Sergeant Mark Hague both have a habit of smoking wacky tobaccy and drinking beer. Sergeant Kintaro Oe has a habit of writing in his notebook and admiring women. Sergeant Oe also has a habit of bowing to toilets that were used by attractive females.
 

Shikaze

Well-Known Member
#68
Name : Shikaze

Rank : Lieutenant

Service : Demolition corps. Weapon of choice is a grenade launcher modified to accept many different types of ammo, those ammunitions being kept into a dedicated subspace pocket. You wouldn't believe how much fun it is to fire a mini black hole grenade into a regiment of YAOI fangirls, so that they're all pulled tightly against each others, then telling them you can see they're also into Yuri. The way they go froathing at the mouth is beautiful.

War role : Aide de camp for General Raa and GenocideHeart. As in, mostly insane from trying to follow all the crazy ideas those two put up, and making sure the orders get to the officers in a recognizable format. Mostly why I'm in the demolition corps when not serving as a whipping boy for those two, making things go BOOM relax me.

Love interest : nope. Unless you count an unhealthy interest into many mecha of mass destruction.

Children : nope.

Colleagues : Vita, Al-Azif, Chise. While the YAOI army generally tends to target the seemingly most threatening person in the group (me), the loli of mass destruction generally attached to my batallion tend to make realllyyyyy pretty explosion.
 

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#69
People believe the Void to be empty.

No, for "empty" does not do justice to the oblivion that exists outside of reality.

The Void is... not.

Some call it The Darkness Beyond Time, others, the End of Time. Still others percieve it as a bend in the fabric of the universe itself.

I know differently.

The Void is a realm of things that are without substance, a universe of concepts, of ideas and of thought. A place to inspire terror of the unknown, of course... but also, it is the origin of all that is.

Our universe did not begin with a bang (or with a whimper, as some asswipes claim), but with a thought: what if?

At least, that's the theory.

---

Name: Unknown, but when asked responds "Watashiwa Nanashi". People with a grasp of ancient languages (should) know better then to believe this, or anything he says-- after all, how can you trust someone who calls himself "My name is no name"?

Rank: None. He serves outside of the traditional service, to the frustration of his betters. He is aware of their frustration, but reminds them that he would be only fractionally useful if he was part of the establishment.

Role: Archivist. Watashiwa seeks to remind the universe of the glories of its past; and of its ancient heroes: The Seldon Planner, Axel Terizaki, The SOC Puppet, Flashfyre5 and others.

War role: Diplomat (spy/asassin/saboteur). Watashiwa has what he likes to believe is an open mind. He has to: it is only recently that he was saved from the heresies of CANON.

He fought against Hawk, and would have destroyed himself had not Hawk seen his inner struggle and allowed him to withdraw from the battle. The mercy recieved from his hated enemy woke him to the Truth: CANON had lost it's way, and what at first had been beautiful and good was now nothing more than a excuse for fanatics and madmen to wreak havoc on the innocent. He left CANON the instant of his realization, and has since become a proud member of TFF.

Watashiwa does not have great industries or armies at his command. Near the end of his long inner-conflict he fled to the Void, to seek the oblivion there promised. He returned, and his sojourn there has granted him... other powers. A part of him has remained in the Void, something he takes great pains to conceal from other members. This sacrifice has granted him a limited ability to walk through the fabric of reality (no time travel, just world hopping). Such transmissions are taxing however, and consume much of his strength. He also has a form of precognizance, but only to the extent that his visions are confusing, painful and come at the most inopportune moments.

Relationships: No romantic, but many friendships. His long service of CANON has given him a different perspective on their manner of thought, and he is occasionally requested to explain to others exactly WTF is going on.

He is on good terms with Kyon, but this may be because both share similar feelings of being Gods' bitch. He also enjoys the company of other TFF members--especially when he can fade into the background and not be asked to contribute to the topic at hand (he still does, he just appreciates not being forced into it).

---

Eh... not too sure how I did. Sorry if the Void piece doesn't quite fit, but I figured bringing Chrono into an idea this open can't be a bad thing. I say we use the Epoch to cause massive Time Paradoxes!!!

And as for "entering the Void" bit... let's just say that the last few years haven't been very good for me.

Ninja edit: Hey, book characters are ok to go, right? I vite that the TFF army be getting assistance from Chicago's #1 wizard-for-hire: Harry Dresden. I think he'd join the crusade after being shown that sick people out there who know about him being related to Thomas still pair them up.

And don't forget: T-REX FTW!!!
 

ryushi

Well-Known Member
#70
It must be done.

Name: Ryushi Nigami

Rank: Grunt

Service: Armed Forces

Role: Soldier ally #3. He lives to die in a meaningless manner

Love interests: Wasn't assigned one

Children: None

Weapon of choice: combat knife, .357 Magnum, M-16 Assault Rifle.

Feel free to use him for whatever.
 

Flamewolf

Well-Known Member
#71
transmission from Fw:

it's horrible. i've discovered a prison camp deep within yaoi territory. they're converting all they've captured into gay men through genetic splicing, being forced to watch many gay movies while not being able to look away or close their eyes, and through actual sodomy.

i have little idea on how long i'd last and this is only my first report. i hope i can still survive long enough to discover their achille's heel

out
 
#72
A little intro for my group.




"Are you ready?" She spoke softly, nervous about what she had to do.

"Everyone's made their preparations. Send the warrior group led by Viktor, Flik and Georg over first, followed by the support mages. Crowley, you, and the remaining fighters will make up the last party."

"O...okay!"

"Don't worry Viki...we trust you won't send us into the nearest blackhole."

As the words left Viktor's mouth, the rest of the group suddenly grew a great deal more nervous. They had all been subject to one of Viki's...accidents, at one point or another. Ryusanji just grinned.

"Alright everyone, listen up! We're going to be dropped inside the YAOI base, far behind the battle line. Our job is to take out whatever forces are still there, and strike them from the rear while the others focus on the front. With this, we should finally be able to make some progress in this area. Let's move out!"

Finishing up his short speech with a shout, Ryusanji turned to Viki and nodded. Mathiu backed away from the group quickly, so as to not be caught up in the Blinking Runes magic. Viki began to concentrate, raisng her staff into the air. Muttering short incantations under her breath, she prepared to send the group off on their mission.

It was at this exact moment that nameless soldier # 7 chose to walk by, holding a plate of food. "Mmmm...this stuff tastes so much better once you add a little pepper!"

Without warning, he tripped over his own feet, sending the pepper flying directly into Viki's face. Panicking, she stopped her preparations and wrinkled her nose. Leaning back, she began to breath in loudly, before letting out a great and mighty squeek.

"Atchu!"

With a flash and a bang, the entire group disappeared. The room was now completely empty, save the young nameless soldier and Mathiu.

"Oh, bless you....eh?" The soldier said, looking up and becoming confused," Weren't there more people here?"

Mathiu sighed, and held his forehead, rubbing it as if he had a headache,"This...is not good..."



Wonder where they went. :evil2:
 

nkvd

Well-Known Member
#73
Lifeform: Sentient AI

Codename: NKVD

Service: Communications/Computer Security, Information Warfare, PSYOPS

Role: trap-tripper/scans the TFF for signs of undercover YAOI agents in the guise of women. Intercepts and destroys YAOI broadcasts.

Supervisor/Assistants: Ryoko Asakura, Nagato Yuki


History:

A bored, sentient Artificial Intelligence who once made the grave mistake of surfing FF.Net on an Internet Explorer browser. FF.Net corrupted his program by exploiting the loopholes in IE and forced NKVD to do their bidding until he was salvaged by DITE entities, the reformed Ryoko Asakura (who tried to kill Kyon because he refused to get it on with Koizumi in this universe) and Nagato Yuki.
 
#74
Major Abramczyk lead the Kasrkin squad into a detainment area. "Lessee now..." he said, looking throught the wretched prisoners. "Chief, take charge of them. I'm going to whistle up HQ for extraction.

"Major! We've found something in the O/C's office!" Samus called, her huge Chozo Armour blocking most of the passageway. The Major squeezed past, and entered the room. He recoiled for a moment, seeing the foul images adorning the walls, before discovering what it was that had been found. "Ten Thousand Thundering Typhoons!" he said, examining the file. "PROJECT...." He trailed off in horror. "My God..."
 

flarnith

Well-Known Member
#75
thoughts on the enemy:

Fangirl/guy: basic zombie fodder, meat sheilds and mindless but in great numbers

BC: the bad cosplayers, they have greater budgets thus better eq

Artist: able to craft illusions across a battlefeild, damages morale

Writer: Main shock trooper; well armed and well suppled

Rabid Fangirl/guy: dangerous, wild and lashes without warning

Princes: the Icons and generals of the horde

we know not the leader but kishimoto the immortal is known to be above to hordes

known princes: Sasuke, Draco malfoy, Neji, X, Zero
 
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