The TFF Shinji

[Scygnus Darkhawk]

Shinji: Heya, what's up asshole?

Gendo: *eyetwitch*

***

Gendo: You will pilot it and destroy the angel.

Shinji: Why, what'd it ever do to me?

Everyone: *eyetwitch*

Misato: It's going to kill us all?

Shinji: Oh. Good enough.

Everyone: *facefault*

***

Shinji: *sitting in cockpit with LCL* This tastes kinda good.

Ritsuko: ... *eyetwitch*

Shinji: So, armament?

Mistao: Huh?

Shinji: Weapons! What do I have to kill it with?

Misato: Well, I don't think you'll be able to synchronize enough to use weapons effectively yet.

Shinji: Just tell me what I have.

Misato: Uh... just a vibra-knife in a holster over your shoulder and your fists.

Shinji: You want me to kill it with a fscking pig-sticker?

Control Room: *blink*

***

Ritsuko: Look at this! His synch rate is just pitiful. *points at the 1%* His mind is sending extremely erratic information! There's no way Unit 01 is even going to...

Shinji: *deep breath... release*

Machine: Ping!

Ritsuko: Huh?

Maya: Holy shit!

Shinji: *rips up one of the poles Unit 01 was sent up on, slaps the charging Angel in the 'chin' with it, reverses, smacks it down, and drives it through the angels back, straight through the core and into the ground.*

Ritsuko: One hundred... !?

Machine: Dwooo...

Ritsuko: Fifty... Maya, I didn't just imagine that, did I?

Maya: Not unless Racquel is smoking his pot in the vents again and it got all of us.

Shinji: *backs up. Kicks it a little.* What, that's it?

Misato: Uhm... yeah. It's dead.

Shinji: Woot! *Unit 01 air guitars, ala Bill and Tedd*

Control Room: *Sweatdrop*

***

Asuka: *busts into Shinji's room* Baka, what...!

Shinji: I wouldn't move if I were you.

Asuka: As if I would...

*twang, shunk, clatter*

Asuka: *stares at the sharp objects sticking out of the floor inches from her feet. Sloooooowly looks up, seeing many many more all over the walls, swords and knives and other sharp things in a variety that almost defies description.*

Shinji: Go change your pants and then you can yell at me in the kitchen.

***

Thank goodness, ne?

 

[Demon Eyes Laharl]

"Get in!" Misato called as she opened the door to let Shinji in. Nodding, the boy went to the passenger side, and without another word, cupped her breasts.

Misato blinked for a second, and realizing what he did, she was about to slap him when Shinji took his hands back, and muttered, "Smaller than the picture... let me guess... photoshop?"

A twitch appeared in her head. "Oi!"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


"Why do you waste my time, Misato?" Ritsuko began to berate. "We are short on man..."

Shinji then cupped her breasts. Ritsuko's jaw gaped. Letting go, he muttered, "Smaller than Katsuragi-san's."

A twitch appeared on her head. "Excuse me?" she muttered in a low and dangerous voice.

Shinji gave her a winning smile. "Don't worry. Its not the size that counts... its how it holds itself up."

Ritsuko paused for a moment before walking away. "I'm out of here."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


When the lights came on, Shinji's eyes went towards the big Evangelion's face that seemed to be staring at him. Ritsuko smiled, and mentally cleared her throat.

"You wont find this on any manual. This is the Multi-purpose Humanoid Fighting Machine EVANGELION, which humanity has finally developed. We can use this to fight the Angels."

"... Its fugly."

Ritsuko stumbled. "Huh?"

"It looks like barney! With a monster face! Come on, can't you see it?" Shinji declared, pointing at it. "I can picture it singing already... I love you... you love me... we're one big happy family... give me a great big hug..."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Rei meets Shinji's eyes as she fell off the stretcher. Misato looks at Shinji, and squeezed her ten cents. "Are you gonna fondle her breasts too?"

"No... why, do you want to?" Shinji replied.

"What!? No!" Misato exclaimed.

"You're a lesbian, aren't you?" Shinji asked suddenly.

"What the hell, NO!" Twitch appears over her eye.

"You don't have to be shy about it..." Shinji smirked at her.

"I'm NOT a lesbian!" Misato almost shouted.

"So Ritsuko your lover right?"

"AAAGGGHHH!!"

-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"So... whatcha want me to do?" Shinji asked in front of the angel, inside Unit-01.

"Defeat the angel," Misato's voice came in his intercom.

"Alright! Watch this!" He suddenly did a few hand seals... "KAGE BUNSHIN no JUTSU!" After a moment, he asked, "Did anything happen?"

Misato frowned. "Uh... no."

"Alright, how about this...." he suddenly began tremble and shake, moaning softly, then going loudly "whoooooooaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" And after a moment, he asked, "Did my EVA grow any yellow spiky hair?"

Ritsuko answered. "No!"

"Then give me a damn weapon!" Shinji declared. "You think I'm going to take this sucker barehanded?!"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

:lol: I'm too sleepy to think anymore.

 

[MnemoD]

I may be new, but I can't resist....!!

My Take On Shinji

----------------------------

'We're sorry, this line has been disconnected due to emer-'

"-Insert Massive Amount of Expletives Here- phone!" A young man stood on the corner of a train station, holding a duffle bag lightly in his left hand as he slammed said phone down as hard as he could, before whimpering lightly at the face that he hit the actual phone with his hand. "-Insert Expletivex2-!"

---Time Skip To Misato's Arrival---

"Get in!" Shinji promptly gets in, quickly sinking as far into his seat as he can due to the fact Katsuragi, Misato drives like a damn crazy-woman.

"-Insert Expletivesx3, Where the -Insert Expletive- did you get your license?" He yells, more frightened of the woman's driving than the huge Drug-Binge-Gone-Bad-Monster-Thingy. The major develops a tick before she stops to turn around to see the deployment of an N2, which sees our favorite lavender-haired-bombshell duck, and covering for both herself and Shinji.

Shinji's thoughts?

"Oh, my, god.... They ARE as firm as in the pornos!"

---Timeskip to Evangelion Cage---

".... It's a giant purple mecha..." He states absently.

"It is mankind's-" Ritsuko begins, only to be cut off.

"'Dad' told me not to do drugs, why didn't I listen?"

"Correct!"

"Wow, even you agree with him, Asshole The Father!"

-------

Yes, I know, not that crack, or humorous, but it'd happen.

 

[Antimatter]

I've always wonders this: there did the concept that Misato is a bad driver come from? The only instances of it i can think of is when she swerves to screw with shinji in ep one, and her spinning into her parking space in that one episode. The first is obviously comical revenge, and the second was probably to impress all the people at shinji's school.

Besides that, she's always shown to drive normally. So what gives with that?

 

[Mantech1]

A little from the anime and a lot from fanfiction. Granted it is exaggeration, but this could be used for better comic effect then her cooking skills. Especially since jokes refering to a characters lack of cooking skills have been used too often with characters such as Akane Tendo and C-KO.

Whereas with reckless driving you could write scenes like this:

-----------------------------------

Shinji walked alongside Misato as the Major checked the number on her keychain against the license plates of the cars they passed left and right. With her car having fallen appart after parking Misato had been forced to ask for a temporary replacement until the NERV insurance department got back to her.

IF there was anyone still alive down there.

"Here she is!"

Shinji looked up and over at the car. It looked like a black sport car of some type. Though he'd never seen one with a red dot tracking back and forth on the front.

Misato wasted no time unlocking the car doors and as they got inside Shinji heard a different voice speak up.

"Actually I'm a 'he', now.......NO! Not you, not again!!"

Before Shinji could puzzle out the meaning behind that statement the hood of the car swung up and a small black box rocketed out and into a overhead ventilation shaft.

"Alright, time for manual."

*CLICK!* (car locks)

Shinji had no time to fathom the meaning behind what was happening, in fact if you asked him later on all you would get is a spaced expression and dead silence.

While if you asked the odd girl who was staring at that underground garage entrance/exit you would have gotten this answer: "They're flying."

----------------------------

And yes, that was supposed to be KITT from the show Knight Rider.

You know, I think this is my first bad joke on this forum.

BWAHAHAHA*Cough, Cough*HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 

[sanotova]

I don't think that Misato is a bad driver... I think it's more combat driving that she's learned... Shinji learning combat driving...

 

[Rorscharch]

"I love beer vending machines," Shinji said to himself as he took a sip. "But I hate Japanese beer . . . ah well, s'not like I can scare up anything else." Shinji looked around and finally settled on a nearby bench. "And it's not like giant monsters are common, it might be gone before I could find the good stuff."

"Get in," Misato screamed as her car screeched to a halt.

"In a minute," Shinji agreed absently. "The SDF just arrived and I don't want to miss a minute of this."

"Arrg." Misato stormed out of the car and picked up the small boy. "When I say get in, I mean now."

"Damn," Shinji sighed. His first giant monster rampage and some girl won't let him watch it.

Later . . .

"Is there something wrong with your charge Misato?" Ritsuko asked sharply.

"He's been like that since they dropped the N2 mine," Misato said with a frown. "I'm not sure why."

Behind the two girls, Shinji continued giggling like a ten year old girl. "Heh heh heh, boom, heh."

Later still . . .

"A giant robot?" Shinji said in shock.

"Yes," Gendo said. "And you will Pilot it."

"If you think you can abandon me for ten years and then give me a giant robot and expect me to forgive you . . ." Shinji growled. "Then you're completely correct, thanks dad. You're the greatest."

Gendo stared, Gendo blinked, finally Gendo shrugged and decided to go along with it. "Fine, but are you sure you don't want me to wheel out an injured girl first?"

"And you're bringing me girls too?" Shinji looked like he was about to do the happy dance, "I take back everything I said about you. Man, when you wanna make up for something you go all out don't you?"

And finally we get to the battle . . .

"Stomp, stomp, stomp," Shinji chanted. "Die Makudonarudo, your burgers suck and so do you. Burn in hell building that looks ugly. Take that porno hut . . . wait, I take that back. What have I done."

"Shinji," Misato's voice came through the radio. "Stop crushing buildings and fight the angel."

"Um . . . it was an accident?" Shinji said nervously. "I'm still getting the hang of walking and stuff."

 

[drakensis]

Shinji squinted up at the distant figure of Gendo Ikari. "You're my dad?"

"Yes. You must..."

"Are you sure you're not my guardian?" Shinji asked. "I mean - you've got the beard... the glasses... the lousy fashion sense - I mean, red rollneck sweaters, what's with that, man?"

"Shinji," Ritsuko said firmly. "That's Commander Ikari. He's lived in Tokyo-3 for years now, and you've been in Neo-Kyoto so he can't be your guardian."

Shinji gave her a thoughtful look, then pulled out his cellphone and cycled through the photos stored on it, holding the device up so that he could compare one photo to his father. "I dunno..." he said dubiously. "Uncle D. is pretty sneaky when he wants to be..."

Ritsuko looked at the image displayed on the phone. At first glance there was no particular resemblence... although if you shaved off the moustache and darkened the hair... "Good grief," she muttered, not noticing that Shinji's eyes were locked not on the phone but on her bust. "They do look alike..."

Then she shook her head. "But they're definitely two different people."

Shinji shrugged. "He doesn't do that thing with his fingers in front of his mouth does he?" He demonstrated and Misato chuckled - it was a dead ringer for Commander Ikari's trademark pose.

"Well... yes," she admitted. "But that doesn't make them the same."

"Does he encourage a lax dress code that allows tight tops and short skirts?" Shinji asked, gesturing at the two women's clothes.

"Well, not exactly encourage..." Misato temporised.

Shinji frowned. "Look, one last test. If he's different from Uncle D then I'll go and do whatever you want, but if he's the same then I'm off to find his secret porn collection."

"Aha! The commander doesn't have a porn collection!" Misato exclaimed. Ritsuko winced and tapped her on the shoulder. "What?"

Ritsuko nodded resignedly.

"Really?" Misato exclaimed. "Damn..."

Then both women jumped as someone copped a feel of their rear-ends.

*SMACK* *CRACK*

Shinji grimaced and rubbed at the red handmarks on either of his cheeks. "I guess you're right... if he was the same as Uncle D, you'd be used to that by now, not complaining."

"And why wouldn't we complain about being treated like that!?" Misato snapped.

Shinji shrugged. "None of his girlfriends do."

 

[MnemoD]

"None of his girlfriends do."

And, then, WHA-SMACK!

Shinji, meet floor. Floor, meet Shinji. Happy make-out session.

I'd like to see Shinji look at Rei for a few moments before he slowly inches closer.....

Shinji slowly inched closer to the prone blue-haired girl on the stretcher, eyes searching for something.....

Misato, eager to see Shinji gone, or in the pilot's seat, said to him "What are you looking for?"

Shinji shied away from Rei's stretcher, murmuring things about "Traps" and "Never wanting that to happen again."

 

[Terdwilicker]

Hahahaha OW OW Sides aching. Too much Teh Funny. Ow.

Thank you all.

I'm posting my own little omake in the Lemon forum.

 

[SoulGriever13]

Heh. Might as well.

Raised by SI, you say? I have just the bloke.

---
Misato scanned the sidewalk anxiously, looking left, then right, then left again ...

"I could have sworn ... where the hell _is_ he?"

... then ducked for cover as a UN aerodyne shot past overhead, trailing bits of metalloy and smoke, to slam into the train station and engulf the front of it in a blazing inferno.

"Oh hell," she swore as she peered from behind her Alpine, eyes wide.

"Mint?"

"Wah!!!"

The purple haired woman recoiled in shock, falling back to land with her butt on the pavement. When the moment of surprise passed and she finally got her heartrate back into order, the fact that the passenger seat of her car was already occupied finally registered.

The kid, whom she recognized as Ikari Shinji, shrugged as he pulled his hand back and popped a candy from the pez dispenser therein into his mouth.

"Well, suit yourself. Um ... aren't we supposed to be going somewhere?"

***

"Isn't child labor illegal or something?"

"Just shut up and push, alright?!"

The Alpine was righted again, though no longer quite as pristine as before, which Misato didn't fail to comment on ...

"Meh. I don't see your point. It's still moving."

"C-cruel ..." the woman twitched.

"So how long's this going to take, anyway?"

"We'll be there in a few hours."

"Uh-huh ..." the boy frowned. "Wait. A few _hours_? What, the place doesn't have a train terminal or something? What sort of backwater little shithole are we talking about here?"

Misato sweatdropped.

"You don't know what your father does?" she asked, after taking a moment to recover.

"... no, should I give a damn?"

He was summarily presented with something that looked far too much like a manual for his peace of mind.

"God's in his heaven, all's right with the _what the fuck now_?" He commented after giving the cover logo a once over. "Stop the car, I'm getting out."

Indignation warred with puzzlement. "Oy! Look, I don't pick the company motto, alright? Your father runs a UN sanctioned organization dedicated to stopping the threat of the Angels ..." getting a sceptical expression in return, she elaborated. "You know, that big thing that almost killed us back then?"

"Oh. Thank Eris, for a minute there I thought he'd run off and gone Reborn Christian or something," the boy grimaced and shuddered, then held up the manual. "So, how much of this thing wasn't raped by censorship?"

"Umm ..."

"Ah. Yeah," he tossed the booklet into the back seat and leaned back, retrieving a paperback from his pack and proceeded to read _that_. "Okay, give me the skinny. But small words, please, I'm busy."

***

"Misato! What the hell are you doing? We don't have time for ..." Ritsuko Akagi trailed off, blinked, and facepalmed. "Weren't you supposed to be bringing the Third with you?"

Misato stiffened, then turned around.

"Shinji?"

Empty hallway.

The second elevator, beside the one that the blonde doctor had used, suddenly pinged and opened, prompting Misato to look that way. Ritsuko, who was facing away from it and giving her friend a truly prodigious glare, was snapped out of it when the purple haired woman's eyes went wide, and she started stuttering as well as pointing at something behind her back.

She turned around.

"Um ... hi? They sorta followed me home," Shinji looked faintly uncomfortable. His clothes looked faintly damp. "Can I keep them?"

Hanging off him were an even half-dozen naked Ayanami clones.

***

"Correc ..." Gendo trailed off. "Doctor Akagi, what is the meaning of this?"

Ritsuko rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "I _tried_ to get them to leave him alone, damnit. Nothing _works_."

Shinji, still surrounded and being clung onto by a bevvy of bluettes who were scanning their surroundings with a wide-eyed curiosity, waved sheepishly.

"Hey, pops. Nice place you've got here?" whereupon the boy blinked, gave Unit-01 a quizzical look, and snapped his fingers. "Oh! Hey, mom!"

Ikari Gendo twitched.

***

"#Flooding entry plug!#"

"Flooding ... wait. WAIT! Stop it right now!"

"#Don't worry, Shinji. The LCL is oxydated. You'll be able to breathe just fine ...#"

The LCL level topped out, causing the boy to gasp, then shudder, and cast a wild-eyed look at the camera relay.

"You ... you ..." he choked out. "You bastards! Why didn't you tell me about this?! Now they're ruined!"

"#Excuse me?#"

The boy hefted his duffel, which he'd somehow brought into the plug without anyone noticing.

"Pre-Impact editions! Classics! And you idiots didn't tell me about this crap! They're ruined now, damnit! Do you have any idea how long it took me to get my hands on first edition Pratchetts?!" Shinji yelled. "Old man! You owe me money!"

***

"Shinji, get out of the way!" Misato shouted as the Angel charged, body-checking ... huh?

"What the hell? Where's the EVA?" She asked after a moment.

Unit-01 was nowhere to be seen, and the Angel crashed into a building, totalling it.

"Makoto?"

"It's ... well, it _reads_ as still being out there, the power feed's steady," the bespectacled technician replied, perplexed. "Wait, there!"

The Angel was getting up, the empty eye sockets of its bone-mask scanning the streets ... until something clamped onto its shoulders, turned it around ...

"How did he get behind it?"

Unit-01 grappled with the black-and-white Kaiju, brining it around to face the purple behemot as it drew back a knee ...

***

Shinji pulled on his jeans, wincing at the lingering sympathetic pain ...

... well, that had been ... less than pleasant.

"Well, you wouldn't be like this if you'd _listened_."

"Rrrrright. It was humanoid. How was I supposed to know that kneeing it in the nads wouldn't work."

"It didn't _have_ 'nads'."

"Well, you could have fooled me. Two legs, two arms, head, and you were talking about it like it was alive ... it was worth a try," he continued, donning his grey overshirt. "Anyway, the rest of it worked fine, didn't it?"

Misato went vaguely green around the gills at the memory of Unit-01 biting the Angel's arm off and proceeding to beat it into the ground with said appendage before stabbing the mass of mangled Kaiju with its prog knife.

***

"Wait, do you have any pets?"

The question threw Misato somewhat.

"Yeah? Why?"

"Well, unless they're cats, I'm gonna bet on them dropping dead within the year if I move in," the boy shrugged. "What? It just happens, sort of. I've gone through birds, hamsters, turtles, a lizard or two ... then Kay-ossan gave up and got a cat, which is the only one still alive and good health."

Misato redialed.

"Yeah, it's me again. Hey, Ritsuko ... you wouldn't mind putting Shinji up for a while ... um, no, something came up. No, I can't. Look, do you _want_ him loose in the Geo-Front ..."

She looked around. Of Shinji, there was no trace.

"Aw, hell."

***

"No, I have no idea. Stop looking at me like that," the young Ikari protested. It fell sort of flat.

By that point, Ritsuko was perfectly willing to say 'to hell with this' and just smile, nod, and ignore things until she could get home and relax ... extra baggage or no extra baggage.

Shinji was standing off to one side - he'd been found in the garage when they were on the verge of giving up on the search - looking nonplussed.

"Whatever. The car isn't big enough," she waved one hand at her sedan, then at Shinji's ... entourage.

Well, at least they weren't naked this time. Though she could swear those were her lab coats the bluettes were wearing.

"... no problem," a quiet voice said. Ritsuko blinked. "Fit right ... if very good friends."

They were supposed to be blank copies. They weren't _supposed_ to talk.

Shinji blinked blankly at the Ayanami clone, his eyes going towards the ... PDA she'd somehow gotten a hold of.

"Oy, that's mine!"

The Ayanami danced out of arms' reach, giggling.

"What ... exactly ... is on that?" Ritsuko asked, though she had a feeling she really didn't want to know.

"Couple books, couple movies ..." Shinji had the decency to look embarassed before he finished. "Couple dozen gigs of porn?"
---

-Griever

 

[MnemoD]

OWNED!

... Wait, what?

No, not owned!

REI-QUARIUM! GET BACK THERE WITH THE MAN'S PORN! YOU DON'T STEAL A GUY'S PORN, IT'S NOT KEWL MAN!

 

[Unknown-common-827]

Umm... IWhoWouldLoveHerForever? Would you try to stop a friggin Rei-Quarium when you know they could probably rip you limb from sack from limb?

 

[zeebee1]

If a man isn't willing to risk life and limb for a boatload of porn, then he isn't really a man.

 

[Unknown-common-827]

But are you really willing to lose your manhood for something you can semi-easily recover?

 

[zeebee1]

NERV has a cloning facility, it would be more efficeint to risk life and lower limbs and just have the missing pieces regrown in a vat and reattached later.

 

[PCHeintz72]

NERV has a cloning facility, it would be more efficeint to risk life and lower limbs and just have the missing pieces regrown in a vat and reattached later.

You are assuming they would make use of it for your well being. I seriously doubt they would for Shinji, as he is generally treated like crap by those in charge.

 

[zeebee1]

I don't mean in reference to the series, I meant in this story. This specific story seems like such an option would be feasible.

 

[MnemoD]

He wouldn't be able to pilot without legs, either, and, if he whined enough in the story, he'd probably get his balls back, too.

Heh.

Not that I don't like Shinji, I actually do, everyone just portrays him as such a pussy when he's just... well... A teenager.

With lots of issues.

Besides, if the Rei-quarium has the gall to steal his porn, you have to wonder why.... And, what they'll do with it, ne?

ORGY!!! SCORE!!

 

[Unknown-common-827]

I got to admit it. You have a point on the whole outlook.

 

[PCHeintz72]

He wouldn't be able to pilot without legs, either, and, if he whined enough in the story, he'd probably get his balls back, too.

Heh.

Not that I don't like Shinji, I actually do, everyone just portrays him as such a pussy when he's just... well... A teenager.

With lots of issues.

Besides, if the Rei-quarium has the gall to steal his porn, you have to wonder why.... And, what they'll do with it, ne?

ORGY!!! SCORE!!

Just to note, that is not technically true.

I saw an Evangelion fic done a couple onths back, where he piloted blind. Also saw one where he was crippled and piloted. Also, quite some time back, there was one where he himself was used as the dummy plug, and gendo had the docs cut off his arms and legs to fit him into the space.

The stories all took similar approaches. Basically, just because he has a physical limitation in the real world, as long as the brain itself is not the cause, then he could still pilot do to being synced up to the Evangelion.

 

[SMWhat]

Missiles flew. Aircraft gunned. Something tall, large, and ugly stomped about, smashing various objects.

"Whoa..." Shinji Ikari gazed up at the monster, an awed expression upon his face. "I guess the fireworks are early this year. Pretty..."

One of the airplanes crashed into the ground and exploded.

Shinji clapped his hands in glee. "That was supaa-neato! Do it again!"

"Are they going to use an N2-Mine?!" shouted Misato.

Shinji Ikari danced away from Misato's attempts to shield him, and sturck a pose that belonged in a Super Sentai program of some sort. "Rabu rabu tofu powaa!" He shouted to the heavens, as the mine struck and a bright light shined forth from everywhere.

"Let me get this straight..." said a skeptical Ritsuko. "There was some sort of flashy magical girl sequence, which ended with the First Child dressed in a 'fancy suit'. The First Child was then challenged to a dance-off."

"Yes."

"By a talking lizard."

"A pink talking lizard."

Ritsuko glanced at Shinji, who shrugged (and appeared normal enough), then back at Misato. "And then you're saying the First Child somehow 'summoned' a large cat which devoured your car. After which you were both given a ride to the Geofront by a 'mysterious masked man', who spoke perfect Japanese despite insisting he only knew Spanish."

Misato nodded.

"And right before I saw either of you, aforementioned masked man spontaneously combusted, turning to ash within seconds and blowing away on the wind."

Misato nodded.

Ritsuko looked towards Shinji. Shinji tapped his head twice, and shrugged. "I think the car crash we were in messed up her head, or something." he said in a perfectly normal voice.

Ritsuko made a face. "I see."

Shinji pointed up at the bearded man, an ugly expression on his face. "You!" he shouted, screaming as if the heavens were tearing apart his soul.

Silence reigned.

Shinji's expression quickly flickered into one of apathy. "Who're you again?"

Massive facefaulting ensued.

"Hey, Angel-guy?" Shinji asked hesitantly inside the monster known as "Evangelion". "I don't suppose you'd mind, uh, not stomping around in populated areas, perhaps?"

Inside the Geofront, mass twitching ensued. More so when the Angel looked up at the Eva, stoically regarded it for a few seconds, and stomped off in the direction of the ocean.

"Yay!" Shinji chirped happily, waving his arm. "Thanks a whole bunchloads, Angel-guy! Take care!" Then, to everyone who was listening: "See, I knew he was a nice guy! No one who likes fireworks festivals can be that bad!"

Massive twitching, faacefaulting, and sweatdropping ensued.

"So anyway, you'll be living with me." said Misato, trying desperately not to be annoyed. Her car had apparently been un-devoured, as she'd found it where she would have expected to find it had she driven it to the Geofront. Mysterious, to be sure. She took her eyes off the road to look at her young charge. "And no weird shit! Okay?"

Shinji nodded happily, then turned his head to face out the window. "Ah! Look! Look!" he suddenly shouted.

Misato looked, and immediately wished she hadn't.

"It's the Tofu-bus!" Shinji exclaimed, pointing at what appeared to be a large vehicle made entirely of bean curd. "Look at it carry the Tofu-people to their Tofu-jobs. Hiiiiii, Tofu-people!"

"Hiiiiii, Ikari-san!" the Tofu-people shouted back.

Misato tried desperately not to sob.

 

[zeebee1]

So, since Shinji was raised by forum members in these stories that must mean SMWhat is in fact a colony of Tofu people.

 

[SMWhat]

No, just as insane as you can be without being certifiably insane. Except for when I'm not.

It's like I'm bipolar, except I'm not bipolar. Or am I? Actually, I should write that down and ask my psychiatrist-type person about that. I mean, bipolarism is like...highs and lows, isn't it? Exuberant! Goofy! Happy! and then Depressed, Serious, Sad.

 

[FH_Meta]

So from the sound of it, you might be manic to some degree.