Things JLA members are not allowed to do
- Thread starter Prince Charon
- Start date
129) Hawkman cutting the legs off a speedster is not cool.
129a) Seriously Impulse is afraid you'll do it to him as well.
130) Will Hawkeye please stop showing up at our meetings.
130a) Yes we know that's you in the Ronin costume.
131) Batman can you please stop using Deathstroke the Terminator as a pinata?
129a) Seriously Impulse is afraid you'll do it to him as well.
130) Will Hawkeye please stop showing up at our meetings.
130a) Yes we know that's you in the Ronin costume.
131) Batman can you please stop using Deathstroke the Terminator as a pinata?
132B) That's not what I heard.- The Question.
133) Hawkman do not show the Teen Titans how to make beer. A drunk Starfire is scary as hell.
133a) It was the first time I accepted her.- Batman said.
134) Blue Beetle and Booster Gold...you are to quit hazing the Shadow Cabinet.
135) But they're this second rate copy of us and those other guys.-Blue Beetle said.
136) No we can't replace Ted Kord with the newest Blue Beetle.
136a) No matter how much nicer he is, the fact Batman actually likes him, or that he has a mystic girlfriend that knows her stuff....
137) Superman stop trying to get Powergirl to see Hal Jordan.
133) Hawkman do not show the Teen Titans how to make beer. A drunk Starfire is scary as hell.
133a) It was the first time I accepted her.- Batman said.
134) Blue Beetle and Booster Gold...you are to quit hazing the Shadow Cabinet.
135) But they're this second rate copy of us and those other guys.-Blue Beetle said.
136) No we can't replace Ted Kord with the newest Blue Beetle.
136a) No matter how much nicer he is, the fact Batman actually likes him, or that he has a mystic girlfriend that knows her stuff....
137) Superman stop trying to get Powergirl to see Hal Jordan.
140. IT should be noted it is never wise to dare, bet, or give a challange to Mr. Mxyzptlk
140a. This goes double for daring him to be a better Harem maker than Batman...
141. Their is no such thing as the League of Batmans...
141a. that group of Batmans recrutiing to take down soem Owlman and a bunch of B-rate villians is NOT evidence to the contrary!
141b. nor does the fact that some of those 'batmen' were metas mean our Batman is a meta.
142. The JLA founding memebers deny any knowledge of a 'Wendy' or 'Marvin'.
143. Asking Superman what happened to all his powers during the days of the 'Superfriends' is not a recommended conversation starter.
144. Asking Selina the difference ebtween ehr outfit and the 'flat chested biker girl' enquirer outfit is NOT covered by the JLA medical plan. (Heh cat-tales ref.)
145. Please stop wondering aloud if the 'memory wipe' incident also extended to the question, where Question can hear you....
146. Sending Granny Goodness and her Furies crates of Midols is only funny once...
140a. This goes double for daring him to be a better Harem maker than Batman...
141. Their is no such thing as the League of Batmans...
141a. that group of Batmans recrutiing to take down soem Owlman and a bunch of B-rate villians is NOT evidence to the contrary!
141b. nor does the fact that some of those 'batmen' were metas mean our Batman is a meta.
142. The JLA founding memebers deny any knowledge of a 'Wendy' or 'Marvin'.
143. Asking Superman what happened to all his powers during the days of the 'Superfriends' is not a recommended conversation starter.
144. Asking Selina the difference ebtween ehr outfit and the 'flat chested biker girl' enquirer outfit is NOT covered by the JLA medical plan. (Heh cat-tales ref.)
145. Please stop wondering aloud if the 'memory wipe' incident also extended to the question, where Question can hear you....
146. Sending Granny Goodness and her Furies crates of Midols is only funny once...
147. Sending the furies pictures of male member of the JLA in various states of undress as a means of enticing a defection from Darkseid's forces is prohibited.
147a. We don't care if it worked. We've had to rebuild three training centers, the cafeteria, and Superman and Batman both refuse to enter the shower rooms in the Watchtower ever again.
148. Official "Batclan" training does not include instruction in secret Tantric Sex arts and it is forbidden to tell impressionable new JLA members anything to the contrary.
148a. I don't care what you heard Nightwing and Oracle doing over the intercom it was not a part of their training under Batman.
148b. Besides, they can't ever hope to measure up to what Batman can do.
~S.Kyle
149. The Green Lantern Corps and the Yellow Lantern Corps are not in a secret war for Batman's soul.
149a. Thew winner of that war does not gain ultimate power in the Multiverse.
150. Batman is hereby forbidden to try to cook anything that requires more than boiling water. We get why you keep Alfred on the payroll now.
147a. We don't care if it worked. We've had to rebuild three training centers, the cafeteria, and Superman and Batman both refuse to enter the shower rooms in the Watchtower ever again.
148. Official "Batclan" training does not include instruction in secret Tantric Sex arts and it is forbidden to tell impressionable new JLA members anything to the contrary.
148a. I don't care what you heard Nightwing and Oracle doing over the intercom it was not a part of their training under Batman.
148b. Besides, they can't ever hope to measure up to what Batman can do.
~S.Kyle149. The Green Lantern Corps and the Yellow Lantern Corps are not in a secret war for Batman's soul.
149a. Thew winner of that war does not gain ultimate power in the Multiverse.
150. Batman is hereby forbidden to try to cook anything that requires more than boiling water. We get why you keep Alfred on the payroll now.
151. Throwing a chunk of pink Kryptonite into the middle of a sparring match between Supergirl and Power Girl is not even remotely funny, and any recordings of such an incident will be turned over to the women in question before midday tomorrow. Anyone found in possession of such a tape after that time will be punched into the sun.
151b. In a similar vein, any pink Kryptonite found in the Watchtower or elsewhere will be immediately handed over to <s>Batman</s> Wonder Woman for disposal, and will never be spoken of again.
151b. In a similar vein, any pink Kryptonite found in the Watchtower or elsewhere will be immediately handed over to <s>Batman</s> Wonder Woman for disposal, and will never be spoken of again.
152) "Getting a handful" of all of the female members is not a JLA requirement for full membership and whoever told Blue Beetle that has a LOT of apologizing to do.
152a) That goes for "getting a handful" of all of the male members of the JLA as well.
152b) Seriously, we have enough troubles with all of the rumors of "initiation orgies" amongst the tabloids, let's not throw fuel on the fire by continuing this joke.
153) There is no "initiation orgy", and whoever is telling these impressionable newbies that they have to bed all of the founding members in a 36 hour period (or else, presumably, they'll get thrown into the sun) needs to stop.
154) Superman is not a "swinger", regardless of what he says under the effects of Pink or Red Kryptonite, and will not "share his boy/girlfriends".
155) Playing Truth or Dare with Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth is not recommended.
155a) Although, if by some WILD chance, it happens to be in the same room, players should keep their questions simple and specific.
155b) Only ask the question if you're willing to hear the answer. Some people's private lives are private for a reason.
156) No, throwing the Lasso of Truth over the Question will not destroy the countryside, nor are we keeping the Question around simply as a "last resort".
157) The Lasso of Truth does NOT work better when the victim is tied up shibari-style and whoever is spreading this rumor needs to stop telling the rookies to recommend this to Wonder Woman whenever she uses it.
158) Telling the rookies that Beast Boy of the Teen Titans can only transform into things he's devoured is punishable by a Beast Boy stampede. ~ Cyborg
158a) The person spreading the rumor that he couldn't turn back into a human before a certain incident with two teenagers named "Marvin" and "Wendy" is going to get punched in the fucking SOUL. ~ Raven
159) Telling rookie members that mooning Lex Luthor during one of his staff meetings is a requirement for access to the Level 10 stuff is punishable by having to wear a maid's outfit and clean Lex Corps HQ from top to bottom.
159a) Yes, Superman, we know it was you. Stop lying and saying it was Wally. ~ Question
160) Telling rookie heroes that Martian Manhunter, or any other shapeshifter, is available to pose as their school dances is not funny. ~ Robin
160a) We are NOT a dating service. Telling people this, or other attempts to hook up single members of the JLA with random people or even people we know, is punishable by having to watch Lex Luthor eat.
160b) YOU MONSTER! ~ Wally
152a) That goes for "getting a handful" of all of the male members of the JLA as well.
152b) Seriously, we have enough troubles with all of the rumors of "initiation orgies" amongst the tabloids, let's not throw fuel on the fire by continuing this joke.
153) There is no "initiation orgy", and whoever is telling these impressionable newbies that they have to bed all of the founding members in a 36 hour period (or else, presumably, they'll get thrown into the sun) needs to stop.
154) Superman is not a "swinger", regardless of what he says under the effects of Pink or Red Kryptonite, and will not "share his boy/girlfriends".
155) Playing Truth or Dare with Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth is not recommended.
155a) Although, if by some WILD chance, it happens to be in the same room, players should keep their questions simple and specific.
155b) Only ask the question if you're willing to hear the answer. Some people's private lives are private for a reason.
156) No, throwing the Lasso of Truth over the Question will not destroy the countryside, nor are we keeping the Question around simply as a "last resort".
157) The Lasso of Truth does NOT work better when the victim is tied up shibari-style and whoever is spreading this rumor needs to stop telling the rookies to recommend this to Wonder Woman whenever she uses it.
158) Telling the rookies that Beast Boy of the Teen Titans can only transform into things he's devoured is punishable by a Beast Boy stampede. ~ Cyborg
158a) The person spreading the rumor that he couldn't turn back into a human before a certain incident with two teenagers named "Marvin" and "Wendy" is going to get punched in the fucking SOUL. ~ Raven
159) Telling rookie members that mooning Lex Luthor during one of his staff meetings is a requirement for access to the Level 10 stuff is punishable by having to wear a maid's outfit and clean Lex Corps HQ from top to bottom.
159a) Yes, Superman, we know it was you. Stop lying and saying it was Wally. ~ Question
160) Telling rookie heroes that Martian Manhunter, or any other shapeshifter, is available to pose as their school dances is not funny. ~ Robin
160a) We are NOT a dating service. Telling people this, or other attempts to hook up single members of the JLA with random people or even people we know, is punishable by having to watch Lex Luthor eat.
160b) YOU MONSTER! ~ Wally
151c. In all fairness, Diana, it was Jason that did it, not Bruce. ~Nightwing
151d. Traitor! ~Jason Todd
161. We all know Darkseid sent Bruce into the past despite leaving a corpse behind. We all know he's coming back. Will someone PLEASE stop his harem from staging an invasion of Apokolips?
161a. Even, I'M not THAT crazy, bucko. ~Joker
162. Batman's "death" does not mean that we are getting evicted from the Watchtower. Dick is technically in charge right now and he and Clark get along fine.
151d. Traitor! ~Jason Todd
161. We all know Darkseid sent Bruce into the past despite leaving a corpse behind. We all know he's coming back. Will someone PLEASE stop his harem from staging an invasion of Apokolips?
161a. Even, I'M not THAT crazy, bucko. ~Joker
162. Batman's "death" does not mean that we are getting evicted from the Watchtower. Dick is technically in charge right now and he and Clark get along fine.
165. Rumors of the existance of a "Damian Wayne" and his running around as Robin are denied.
165a. And if he did exist Talia would gloat about it.
166. Do not ask Aquaman to say "Outrageous" or to talk about his adventures.
166a. Or what a typhoon ball is.
167. Stop suggesting that Superboy will go bald due to the Luthor DNA.
168. Don't ever mention the 5th World. Ever.
165a. And if he did exist Talia would gloat about it.
166. Do not ask Aquaman to say "Outrageous" or to talk about his adventures.
166a. Or what a typhoon ball is.
167. Stop suggesting that Superboy will go bald due to the Luthor DNA.
168. Don't ever mention the 5th World. Ever.
180) Don't make fun of Omac's mohawk.
181) Any rumors that Chris Kent has this weird rapid aging and runs around as Nightwing are not true.
181a) He just wants to be called Nightwing when he grows up.
182)Asking Powergirl why she has the hole on her chest...actually we all want to know why.
183) Powerboy is not to come within 1200 feet of Supergirl.
183a) And Superman would like to have a word with him.
183b) Better have your will written kid.- Wally
184) Any rumors of me wearing the Kid Flash costume are false. Why would I wear that yellow eyesore. Serious Wally what were you on when you made that?- Impulse.
181) Any rumors that Chris Kent has this weird rapid aging and runs around as Nightwing are not true.
181a) He just wants to be called Nightwing when he grows up.
182)Asking Powergirl why she has the hole on her chest...actually we all want to know why.
183) Powerboy is not to come within 1200 feet of Supergirl.
183a) And Superman would like to have a word with him.
183b) Better have your will written kid.- Wally
184) Any rumors of me wearing the Kid Flash costume are false. Why would I wear that yellow eyesore. Serious Wally what were you on when you made that?- Impulse.
181. The door to the Gods of the Fictionverse is to remain closed at all times and never to be opened. -Added by Mr. Terrific.
181a. Oh please. Stop ruining our righteous crusade to drive you insane. - Z.B. One
181b. The door is to be left closed forever. NOT. Party at Batman's! -White Dragon
181c. Woohoo! I'll bring the tacos! -Marquis
181d. Where can I buy some smokes around here? - The Great Hawk
182. Candlejack is not allowed t - Unknown
182a. Amendment to rule 182: Candlejack is not t - Unknown
182b. Why is everyone leaving incomplete sentences with this rule? - Diana
182c. Because Candlejack i - Unknown
182d. Why is everyone typing Candlejack - Unknown
182e. DON'T SAY IT! - Jon D'Jonn
182f. DON'T SAY HIS NAME! - Nightwing
182g. What? All I wanted to ask is why everyone is leaving incomplete sentences with this rule just because it's about Candlejack. It's not li - Unknown
183. I'm gonna need more rope.
181a. Oh please. Stop ruining our righteous crusade to drive you insane. - Z.B. One
181b. The door is to be left closed forever. NOT. Party at Batman's! -White Dragon
181c. Woohoo! I'll bring the tacos! -Marquis
181d. Where can I buy some smokes around here? - The Great Hawk
182. Candlejack is not allowed t - Unknown
182a. Amendment to rule 182: Candlejack is not t - Unknown
182b. Why is everyone leaving incomplete sentences with this rule? - Diana
182c. Because Candlejack i - Unknown
182d. Why is everyone typing Candlejack - Unknown
182e. DON'T SAY IT! - Jon D'Jonn
182f. DON'T SAY HIS NAME! - Nightwing
182g. What? All I wanted to ask is why everyone is leaving incomplete sentences with this rule just because it's about Candlejack. It's not li - Unknown
183. I'm gonna need more rope.
