Things Member of the TSAB are not allowed to do

[ringlhach]

53) All requests for the "Advanced Skinship Training Course" as taught by Hayate Yagami must be submitted in writing, no later than three months in advance, with signed waiver and legal disclaimer letters, through the appropriate chains of command.

53a) Wait, we have one of these?- S.N.

53b) Subaru Nakajima's application is denied indefinitely. No matter how many times she resubmits it.

 

[Prince Charon]

35 ) Brianna Diggers is not to come within three feet of any Intelligent, Armed or Storage Device. The one time she got her hands on Durandall ended up with four stars turned off. That's right, turned off. No, don't ask us how she did it either.

35a ) Unison Devices are also forbidden.
35b ) What do you mean, 'Too late'?

 

[Tsukino_kage]

54) You will not liken Unison to rape, unfortunate implications of insertion into another body be damned.
55) I don't care if Dumbledore's people do it, memory wiping witnesses is illegal for all TSAB agents.

 

[Muramasa]

56) Yuuno Scrya is not allowed to reveal (his?) true identity.

56a ) No one is exempt from rule 63
56b ) This is not to be considered an attempt to instill horrible, nonsensical plot bunnies involving these two universes.

56c ) No Hayate. You can not replace Zafira with the King of Knights. Your Harem count remains the same.

56d ) No we do not accept resignations, Scrya.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

57) All the conctacts between our univers and the Slayers-universe are now forbidden: we do not want Captain Takamachi and Lina Inverse to exchange spells and/or magical instruments.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

58: As much as the TSAB abhors slavery, it is not within our mandate to interfere with the internal politics of non-member worlds. Therefore, certain TSAB personnel who shall remain nameless are to hereby suspend their abolitionary raids against the Amarr Empire at once.

59: Raging Heart is not allowed to "connect" with the Geth anymore. Not only is the notion of a blue-and-white-colored machine race armed with pink laser beams of death highly disturbing, to say the least, but Bardiche has been depressed all week!

60: The recently produced line of Intelligent Devices with AIs based on 4chan are hereby considered Lost Logia and are to be sealed and destroyed immediately.

 

[Nanya]

57) All the conctacts between our univers and the Slayers-universe are now forbidden: we do not want Captain Takamachi and Lina Inverse to exchange spells and/or magical instruments.

57 A ) Whaddya mean it's too late!?
57 B ) Signum is to return the Sword of Light to either the Lost Universe or to the Slayers universe right now!
57 C ) You can't keep Galvayra either, Signum.
57 D ) Caro, you are not allowed to keep those Demon's Blood Talismens. I don't CARE if they give a better boost than your own device, you are NOT to keep them!

 

[bissek]

57E) Vita, you are to return Bodigar immediately.

 

[kitsuneb]

61) Vivio Takamichi and Hotaru Tomoe are to report to Shamal for their psychologist appointment.
61a) Seriously you four. Lock the damn the door.

 

[Nanya]

62 ) Teana Lanster and Dieci Nakajima, you two are to stop going to Brianna Diggers for "upgrades" on your weapons.
62 A ) I don't care if you can carve your name on the moon, Dieci, you have to stop now.
62 B ) What do you mean Mariel is taking lessons from Brianna and Gina Diggers now?

 

[Tsukino_kage]

63) No Hayate, you cannot take her/him/it home.
64) I don't care how effective it is, we do not use porn as a distraction in battle.
65a) Button your shirt Subaru, Tiana!
66) Vita is henceforth forbidden to go to Nekomi. We do not need another "who has the bigger hammer" incident.

 

[kitsuneb]

63) No Hayate, you cannot take her/him/it home.
64) I don't care how effective it is, we do not use porn as a distraction in battle.
64a) Button your shirt Subaru, Tiana!
65) Vita is henceforth forbidden to go to Nekomi. We do not need another "who has the bigger hammer" incident.

66) To whoever stole Enforcer Takamichi-Harlown's underwear. Admiral Harlown and Captain Takamichi wish to speak to you. We are looking at you Nakajima.
66a) And you Lanster.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

67) Nobody, and we intend NOBODY, can show any member of the Ace, Wolkenritter and Riot Force 6 the orrors knows as DeviantArt, Fanfiction.Net and AdultFanfiction.net .

68) No, the R&D Department can't recreate the Macross/Robotech mecha tecnology.
68a) And we haven't found a hyper-powerful spaceship of unknow origins.

69) Teana, you can't recive weapon lessons from the following subjects:
-Coyote Starrk
-Mana Tatsumiya
-Sosoke Sagara
-Kurtz Weber
-Melissa Mao
-Any member of the Mahora's Military Club
-Ryo Saeba
-Any Mithril weapon instructor
And finally, NOT Lara Croft.

70) Former Captains Miho and Sonoda, you are not autorized to make sudden apperance into the TSAB's HQ, and certainly NOT to sneak behind high officer to scare them to death.
70a) No, it does not matter if you found it funny.

 

[Daneel Rush]

71) Instructor Takamachi, taking a hundred cute girls and making them sing together will NOT make your Starlight Breaker any stronger. Stop forcing them.
71b) No, we're not borrowing Infel Phira.

 

[windstorm]

69.) Extended list:
- Train Heartnet
- Vash the Stampede
- Alucard

----------

72.) All TSAB agents must keep one Yume Kusanagi (from Ichinensei ni Nacchattara) away from Vivio Takamachi at all costs, lest we all perish in a pink blaze of doom.

a.) This goes for Caro and Lutecia as well.

b.) Also it is permitted to intervene militarily with as much striking power as necessary in the event that Yume figures out how to make a time machine as the younger versions of Nanoha and Fate would be in grave danger.

73.) Contact with Yachiru Kusajishi is strictly forbidden. We don't need more attempts to make shrines to Nanoha as things always seems to end badly (and with a lot of property damage) when Fate gets wind of it.

74.) Wanting a familiar similar to Yuno Scrya (in ferret form) is not a valid reason to bring Albert Chamomile to Mid Childa or into contact with female TSAB members.

75.) There will be no more contacting out upgrades to the TSAB dimensional fleet ships to Washu.

76.) It is prohibited to give Ranma Saotome an intelligent device.

a.) It is even more prohibited to give one to Akane Tendo due to her anger management issues.

b.) And Ryouga, err.... better yet just don't give any to the Nerima Wrecking Crew.

c.) Or Nabiki Tendo.

d.) On second thought just to be safe don't give any intelligent devices to any inhabitant of Nerima (inhabitant being loosely defined as anyone that shows up there at least once a month).

 

[kitsuneb]

77) This is a reminder that Riot Force 6 is not:
a) A lesbian team with one guy.
or b ) Erio's harem.

78) Takamichi Nanoha is forbidden to use Anything above Divine Shooter in Mid-childan airspace. People are starting to become more afraid of the color pink than necessary.

 

[Nanya]

79 ) Using magic in carnival shooting games is now forbidden. Vivio, you really shouldn't have used a Divine Buster in a shooting game.

80 ) Just to remind everyone, we do not follow Amazon laws. Despite the fact that Nanoha made her best friends by beating them up, that does not mean that all of us are like that.
80 A ) Nove, doesn't that mean its too late for Einhart to call you "Nove-mama"?
80 B ) ... Whaddya mean, "too late"?

 

[toraneko]

81) This is just a reminder: Gensoukyou is not Cpt. Takamachi's "training grounds".
81a) It is most likely not a relic of Al Hazard, either. Further research into the subject, while not explicitly forbidden, will not receive TSAB funding.

82) Patchouli Knowledge is allowed occasional supervised access to the Infinity Library. Kirisame Marisa is most emphatically not.

83) Following the Cross Gate Incident, research and development of humanoid mechanized weaponry - so-called "Super Robots" - is no longer prohibited. The assistance of the former members of Riot Force 6 is hereby requested in this matter.
83a) Andou Masaki is to be given an escort wherever he goes when in TSAB facilities. Last time, it took forever for him to get to Cybuster.
83b) We are opening diplomatic discussions with La Gias effective immediately.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

HERE THE FIRST CHAPTER on FF.net!!!

84) All contacts between the TSBA and the group of magical girls known as the Tokyo MewMew are now forbidden. We DO NOT WANT for them to acess to our spells and for the Aces/Wolkenritter/Riot Force 6 to become hybrid human/animals. The tough of a catgirl Nanoha has scared our senior officers, for Pete's Sake!!!

 

[Nanya]

HERE THE FIRST CHAPTER on FF.net!!!

84) All contacts between the TSBA and the group of magical girls known as the Tokyo MewMew are now forbidden. We DO NOT WANT for them to acess to our spells and for the Aces/Wolkenritter/Riot Force 6 to become hybrid human/animals. The tough of a catgirl Nanoha has scared our senior officers, for Pete's Sake!!!

84 A ) Despite her nickname as a raccoon-girl, Hayate is not a raccoon-girl.
84 B ) Neither is Subaru a dog-girl.
84 C ) Subaru and Teana do NOT have sex like cats and dogs. Regardless of how loud it gets in there at night.

 

[kitsuneb]

HERE THE FIRST CHAPTER on FF.net!!!

84) All contacts between the TSBA and the group of magical girls known as the Tokyo MewMew are now forbidden. We DO NOT WANT for them to acess to our spells and for the Aces/Wolkenritter/Riot Force 6 to become hybrid human/animals. The tough of a catgirl Nanoha has scared our senior officers, for Pete's Sake!!!

84 A ) Despite her nickname as a raccoon-girl, Hayate is not a raccoon-girl.
84 B ) Neither is Subaru a dog-girl.
84 C ) Subaru and Teana do NOT have sex like cats and dogs. Regardless of how loud it gets in there at night.

84d) What do you mean you have proof Hayate?

 

[B.B. Rain]

85. We don't care how much Lutecia Aplhine's personality change unnerves you, you are not allowed to requisition one of the time-traveling Lost Logia to prove, (and in the case of the later possibilities, prevent), she is:
1) Identical Twins, who use illusion magics to keep whichever one lost the most recent game of chance hidden;
2) A badly prepared clone replacement;
3) A split personality;
4) Possessed by a Lost Logia; or
5) A twisted maniac, trying out various personalities to fuck with our heads.

 

[Tsukino_kage]

86) We are beginning negotiations with Seyruun, but it is still forbidden to have informal contact. We really do not want Xellos or Naga running around unsupervised, or heaven forbid, Lina.

 

[GladiusLucix]

87) All TSAB personnel are forbidden, unless given specific permission, from visiting the area of dimension space home to the Artificially Intelligent tanks known as "Bolos." Firstly, these demonstrate the logical conclusion of projectile based weaponry, something already banned under TSAB law, and secondly, we don't want Cpt. Takamachi getting ideas about Raging Heart getting a Hellbore mode upgrade.

 

[kitsuneb]

86a) WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT NANOHA AND LINA ARE HAVING A COMPATITION BETWEEN STARLIGHT BREAKER VS DRAGON SLAVE!?!