137) No officer below the rank of Captain may authorise the use of photon torpedo casings as re-entry pods, even if the transporter systems are non-functional.
137)a. And park the shuttles in designated landing zones, do you know what the fines are like for leaving a starfleet shuttle in someone's garden?
138) We don't care if Kirk liked to do it, there is a reason the First Officer is supposed to be leading the away teams and not the Captain. We lose less Captains this way.
139) We don't care if Sisko and Picard did it but please do not become a religious figure.
141: Please review crappy holodeck games on your own time. Subspace radio silence means subspace radio silence.
142: There is no such thing as a "Sexplorer" and you are not it for your ship.
143: Shuttlepod racing is not allowed inside or outside of the ship.
144: For the last time, we can neither confirm nor deny the existence of Section 31.
144a: But if they did exist it is unlikely they would be employing you to spy on the attractive female officers in their quarters.
144b: It is also very unlikely they would have you go off on a "covert mission" to Miami Beach.
145: USS Valiant's crew was not killed because the "Force was not strong with them". They were killed because they were stupid. Keep that in mind.
146: Vulcans are not Jedi, nor do they have lightsabers.
147: Not every ship has a "Weakpoint" that you can attack for "Massive Damage". See USS Valiant.
148: There will be no sneaking off to the Mirror Universe to have sex with Mirror counterparts of people you know or your spouses.
148a: Captain Sisko.
148b: Chief O'Brien.
148c: Colonel Kira.
148d: Ambassador Spock
148e: Captain Riker
148f: You know what? All of you know who you are.
149: Due to complaints from his mother, we are no longer allowed to vote Wesley Crusher as the Biggest Loser in the Galaxy... officially.
150: Top hats and monocles are not part of the standard uniform.
150a: Nor are Bikinis or Speedos.
150b: Or sombreros.
157. Borg Fighting is now illegal. We do not care if you want to see which drone adapts the best.
158. Borg animal fighting is now also illegal. Really, why would you do that?
158a: Mr. Data wants his cat back.
158b: No, we do not accept the excuse that you wish to understand why it changed genders on the Enterprise-D.
158c: No, renaming it 'Ranma' will not make us think it is a different cat.
161a) This rule is hereby expanded to all weapons currently above said culture's tech level. Including, but not exclusive to, orbital bombardments, that Ferengi energy whip thing, Kiingon Disruptors, even slugthrowers or primitive weapon replicas made from alloys that are too advance for said civilization. Really people, common sense would dictate that this should be covered by the prime directive already.
166: You are not allowed to mess around with the Dyson sphere. Messing around for the purposes of this rule implicitedly includes using a gamma ray emitter to carve it up into Ringworlds, take chunks of it for souvenirs, or draw obscene messages on it's surface.
167. You are not allowed to 'borrow' mothballed starships, and then confront their replacements, claiming to be from the past.
167a. Changing uniforms do not help either.
167b. Nor can you use this as an excuse to fire on other ships. The Klingons were our allies when that ship was built.
167c. Really? You honestly thought someone would buy the thought that not only were you from the past, but that we were at war with Ferengi?
167d. No! We will not accept that you are from the evil parallel universe, even if you have a goatee! We saw the spray paint on the hull to change the U in USS to I!
168: There is no such thing as a Weeping Angel or Lonely Assassin or other form of Variable Quantum-State Lifeform known to Federation science at this time. So please stop smashing statues. The locals are either becoming pissed off or paranoid about them too.
171b) If you must have one, register it with the quartermaster. AND DONT FEED IT ANYTHING MORE THAN IT CAN NEEDS.
171c) WHY ARE THERE TRIOLIC TRIBBLES?
172) When hailed by the Borg do not antagonize them.
172b) Related: Do not antagonize Liberated Borg crew members. They may be disconnected from the Collective but that doesnt mean they wont hit you in the face.
175a) But they really do!
176) This should be obvious but sadly, not everyone does it. No hostile party should ever be allowed to take control of Federation facilities or equipment, especially if it is more advanced than their own. That means even if you have to die to do it, you must blow up either them or the equipment/facility. This includes ships that have been hijacked. It is your duty.
177) No, Security Crewman Jones, you are not allowed to wear another uniform. Red Shirts are security uniforms. You are not allowed to change it.
174a) The term "Wrench Wench", although possessing a greater lyrical wit inherent than the former term, is still not acceptable. Also, you will find very few women who appreciate being referred to as "wench".