Things Starfleet Officers are No Longer Allowed


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180) Q, it does not matter if you're nearly omnipotent. You are not allowed to create whormholes between our reality and the Nanoha's one, only because you want to see a meeting between Lindy Harlaown and Catherine Janeway, period.
181) The Prime Directive is not to interfere with normally developing prewarp cultures. That is why you are never teaching the class on it Admiral Janeway.

181a) Nor are you teaching diplomacy at the Academy either.

181b) Lt Commander Antwiler (aka Doctor Insano) or Captain Calhoun are better choices then you. Take from that what you will.

182) B-4 is not a test dummy to see how crazy of an AI you can upload into him.

182a) His thinking he was Dinobot and beating the shit out a security team was not funny.


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183) Saucer separation is a delicate maneuver. For most ships it is an emergency maneuver that can only be reversed in dry dock.


184)Sabotaging your own warp nacelles will not get you a Starfleet fleet assistance. It will however get you a reprimand and a tow.

185) Stop proclaiming that having three warp nacelles are the best way to go. The Chief Engineer is still in Sick Bay for an apparent seizure.

(Been playing some STO. Depending on how you play your captain you can pretty much break every single starfleet regulation. Ever. What's that? Dont want to negotiate anymore? PROVOKE)


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180a) And how do you plan to stop me? - Q
185a) Experiments on this have been conducted decades ago proving that this configuration is unstable and damaging to subspace.


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186) As much as we all would enjoy it, telling Seven of Nine that mandatory participation in 'Wet T-Shirt' contests is not allowed.
a) or mud wrestling
B) or naked volley ball
c) or 'the naked mile'
187) Using a holodeck version of Seven to bypass rule 186 and its subclauses is also forbidden. For crying out loud people, these things have user logs, y'know?
188) And no, you may not clone her so you can have your own. She is not a toy.
a) Sorry, Harry. She's just not into you.
B) Or you Doctor...and really, you know the rules about doctor/patient relationships. Do we need to run a diagnostic on your ethics subroutines again?


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189) If a Blue Police box appears on your ship, you are to immediatly defer to the individual calling themself "The Doctor" in all matters.

190) The following ships are to be destroyed on sight The USG Ishimura, The The USS Sulaco, The Nostromo, The Rickenbacker/Van Braun, The Event Horizon and the USS Cygnus.

191) The following AI's are to be eliminated at first contact SHODAN, GLADOS, and SkyNet.


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Tsukino_kage said:
180a) And how do you plan to stop me? - Q
180b) By calling your wife and informing her of your supposed intention of having a catfight between the two Admiral women. And your other 'supposed' intention of TRANSFORMING them in CATGIRL, to double the cat factor in the catfight. Yes, it's not real. But do you TRULY want to be on the receiving end of your wife wrath? Remember: Hell has no fury like a scorned woman...


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180c) And what is there to simply stop me from killing you before you can call my wife, then going back in time to destroy the evidence. Omnipotent, remember? - Q


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192) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe is not an acceptable substitute for Starfleet Regulations. Telling new cadets that it is will get you put on Waste Extraction Duty.
193) Requests for the uniforms to be remodeled after the movie 'TRON' from the early 21st century will be rejected. Lights in the uniforms would be cool, but its just not in the budget right now.
194) Ferengi energy whips are not to be purchased for kinky sex games. They charge too much for them anyway, and a paddle works just fine.
a) This means you, Tom and B'lenna.
b ), I never knew Seven was the TOP in that relationship... :blink: :blink: :blink:


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Slyfer101 said:
b ), I never knew Seven was the TOP in that relationship... :blink:? :blink:? :blink:
c) Oh c'mon, look how fast he rolled over for Janeway...

195) I don't care how tough you are, or how talented your Transporter Chief is, you are not allowed to ride a Photon Torpedo at ANY time.


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180f) And remember: women will ALWAYS know what we mens have or not have do. And if not them, they will know from the hairdresser: there they always know ALL.

196) If you encounter ship from an organization know as TSAB, _DO NOT ANGER THEM_.


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180h) Which I stopped by simply going back to that time and intercepting your message. You have to remember what I'm capable of. - Q


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180i: energy beings have ripple proof memory, therefore she still remembers
180J) If we're only half civilized by the Metron's standards what are the Q?

180K) Disappointments.- The Metron Consortium.


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197) If a man calling himself the Doctor and Q both turn up on your ship at the same time...really, no procedure will matter here. You're totally and completely screwed.
198) The Dyson Sphere is NOT a prototype Death Star. Stop looking for a Super Lazer on it.
a) Section 31 already took it anyway.
b ) Ignore clause a. You have been warned.
199) Pranks against Worf, while amusing, are discouraged. We are getting tired of replacing that glass table in his room when he vents his frustration. Honestly, why hasn't anyone given him a metal one yet?
200) There is no rule 200.


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180l) And you are all still inferior to the Q. The point I'm making is that nothing a mortal can do can best a Q. Even trying to contact another Q will not help you, since I am omnipotent and you have my infinite attention, then I will know what you do before you do it and stop you. The only times we lose is when we mean to, or we give you a win condition in our games. We can end the existence of your pathetic race as easily as you draw breath. In short, there is no mortal means of contacting my wife that I cannot intercept and make sure she never turns her attention to. - Q


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202) if a group of multicoloured warriors in what suspiciously looks like spandex and helmets shows up, warning about a major threat, listen to them, they probably know what they're talking about.


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202a) Or guys in armor that look like bugs. Or guys while bug eyes with glowing jewels on their chests, or girls in skimpy cheerleader suits.


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204) Showing new cultures our waste extraction tech and telling them it will allow them to 'Boldly go where no one has gone before' will get you a spanking...

...from Worf.


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205. When a superior officer--or even an inferior officer--is having a meeting with a species that may one day apply to become a member of the federation, you are not allowed to barge in, covered with blood, use any form of salute, and inform that officer that 'as per their wishes, the planet has been scoured clean of the impure and the foolish non-believers'.