I don't like the idea of just posting the entire chapter up a second time, but I think I've changed enough stuff that its worth a second go through.
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'I always believed the true measure of a shinobi was not how he lives, but how he dies.'
Muffled explosions rumble in the distance. The maddened roar of a beast sends tremors through his rapidly failing body. Three figures rampage in a forest near the borders of Hi no Kuni, splintering trees like twigs, rending the earth to shreds and painting the night sky a crimson red. While two battle with a deadly precision, the third rampages with a frenzied desperation.
'That it was not what they did in life, but what they do before dying that proves their worth.'
Blood and vile chakra, shaped into the mockery of claws and tails, phase through them like they aren’t even there. Great stakes, made of wood and born of chakra, rush to suppress the beast, piercing through its limbs, pinning it to the ground. It thrashes and its impotent attempts at freedom are ignored by the two figures, their attention focused solely on each other.
'Thinking back on it, my story was one full of failures.'
Their movements defy rational thought. One slips through everything like a ghost, the other flickering like an image, appearing from one spot to another like a choppy video, illuminating the night like a miniature sun. Occasionally one will land a blow on the other and the beast will roar, fruitlessly lashing out. Stakes of wood soar through the air, beams of light meeting them midway. The resulting explosions are deafening and bubbles of black and white chakra saturate the air.
'Tsunade turned me down every time…I couldn’t save my friend… I failed to protect my sensei and my student…'
They condense, swirling into an orb that draws the attention of both cloaked figures. One moves to strike. To put the beast down before it can do any more damage. The other moves to intercept, to stop the beast’s life from being ended before they can claim their prize.
'Compared with the great Hokage’s who came before me, my accomplishments were all petty and insignificant.'
They clash and separate as several acres of Hi no Kuni disappear in a flash of light.
'I wanted to die like them.'
Deep within the beast, within the very fragments of its subconscious, a remnant stirs. A remnant that lost itself, piece by piece, drawing upon a forbidden power out of sheer desperation to survive. More power it decides. It needs more power. And deep within the seal, the nine tailed demon is all too happy to comply.
'I had come to a “conclusion†about how my life would end a long time ago.'
With a mighty roar, the beast breaks free of its restraints. A sixth tail appears, wreathing the beast in a skeletal armor. Both figures appear once more, no worse for wear. One says some words. The other replies in a voice just as forceful and devoid of compromise. The beast lunges at them and is promptly blasted away by twin gouts of flame.
'I lived believing my shortcomings were just amusing distractions! That my failures would build character!'
A thunderous explosion strips it of its protection. They fall upon it like wolves on a wounded deer, beating it into submission. Flames burn, boiling the flesh and blood hidden beneath the cloak of chakra. Wood pierces, stripping the beast of the chakra that surrounds it. Soon there is not a beast, but a bloodied and unmoving boy.
'And in return…'
Something breaks inside him. Breaking in such a way to perfectly snap into place, his entire life flashing before his eyes. Before him is his apprentice, his godson about to be killed right in front of him and he is powerless to do anything about it. A dying flame becomes a raging inferno, and the abyss recedes. He would not fail him. No matter what, he would not fail Naruto like he’s failed everyone else. Gritting his teeth, he achieves a perfect stillness, drinking greedily from the power of the world around him. The two figures exchange words once more for a final time, finding they are unable to reach a compromise.
'After all those losses and mistakes, I would be granted one last final adventure… and die a death befitting of a true shinobi!'
They both lunge at the unconscious vessel of the Kyubi. One to deliver the death blow. One to take the boy and extract their prize from within. At the same time he makes his move, mixing the energies of nature with his own. Creating a miracle from sheer desperation. A perfect form, near unrecognizable with the blood that covers him like a second skin. It is just enough and his hand wraps around his godson’s ankle as the two cloaked figures activate their respective techniques. Space and time fold in on each other as a blinding light swallows their world.
'I thought that day was an end… the conclusion of the tail of a pitiful failure. But it was not an end… only a new beginning.'
-0-0-
It is a typical summer’s day in Mahora. The students that opted to not go home for break spend time with their friends, chatting away as they tour the districts of the massive academy. The sun sits triumphantly at its apex, casting warm rays over the school grounds. Clouds roll across the blue sky, aimlessly drifting wherever the wind may take them. Birds chirp, dancing through the sky in tune with their song. And a small army of identical, orange-wearing blonds pummel each other in a free for all.
All is right in Mahora.
Hands tucked into pockets, Takahata T. Takamichi strolls through a heavily forested area on the outskirts of the school district, smoke drifting from a cigar hanging between his lips. Beige suit. White hair and stubble. The sound of flesh hitting flesh reaches his ears and he steps into a large clearing.
“Take this!â€
“Orah!â€
“Stop ganging up on me!â€
Had he not already seen it many times before, he might have been stunned. Hundreds of blond boys, all identical in every way, shape and form. All engaged in what appears to be a free-for-all slugfest. A single solid blow causes the clones to vanish in plumbs of smoke while the rest continue to battle without a care. It is almost impressive. A few weeks ago the sight in front of him appeared to be nothing more than a brawl, the copies haphazardly kicking and punching at one another. Now they have some semblance of form. Of technique. Their movements sharp, carrying the force of proper blows behind them.
“Yo, Takamichi.â€
The bespectacled mage would have never noticed him had the man not spoken up. A rest vest, leaf green male kimono, impossibly long hair tied into a ponytail and an enormous frame paints the image of the man that sits cross-legged at the base of the tree just next to him.
“Jiraiya-san.†Takamichi greets in turn. “The dean agreed to your plan. He said also said that he’ll figure out somewhere for Naruto to live once you leave and not to worry about it.â€
“Thanks Takamichi. Also, give the dean my thanks as well. I really appreciate everything you guys have done for us since we arrived here and I hate to impose on you any longer but I need to leave the kid here while I go sniffing around for some answers. If I took him with me, everyone and everything would hear and see us from a mile away.â€
A scoff. Takamichi wouldn’t doubt it. He liked the boy like the bratty younger brother he never had, but the blond Jinchuriki has a way of getting on the nerves of anyone around him. Even Takamichi.
Especially with his stupid nicknames.
“Don’t mention it. We’re more than happy to help.†Takamichi says, the two of them watching as the hoard of blond clones dwindles down to a mere three. A covering of bruises marks the real one, as unlike his clones, he wouldn’t dispel from a single hit.
A triplicate of battle cries erupt across the clearing and the utterly battered blond boy and his two clones charge, fists cocked back. The resulting triple cross counter has both adults wincing, the clones vanishing into smoke and Naruto falling to the ground with a dull thump.
A silence echoes in the clearing. In the end, it is Takamichi who breaks the silence first.
“So who’s going to tell him that you basically sold him to the dean as an indentured servant?â€
“Tell him? I was planning on leaving a note after I left.â€
-0-0-
“Hey brat, time to get up! And hurry your ass, we got things to take care of today!â€
The booming voice fills the small, two bedroom apartment, forcibly rousing Naruto from his rest. Blue eyes warily blink open. A groan follows. Typically, a single night’s rest is enough for him to feel as good as new the next day. Yet his entire body still aches like a sore muscle and his chakra circulatory system feels as through someone poured boiling hot water through it. That’s not even going into the massive headache he has for reasons he still can’t really understand.
The perverted Sannin really kicked his training up a notch after they ended up in this place. After that ambush that nearly cost the two of them their lives and threw them so far away from home.
The memory of that night is enough to clear away the rest of the blond Jinchuriki’s drowsiness. His recollection of the battle is a little spotty because of the Kyubi’s chakra, but never before had he felt so weak. So powerless. Even the might of the Kyubi was lain low.
He rolls out of the bed, shuffling across the room and out the door. Making his way to the bathroom. If he didn’t, Jiraiya would soon be along to pluck him out from under the warm sheets and toss him into a freezing shower. It was tempting to allow the man to do just that, if only so that he wouldn’t have to move, but if he went to the shower himself he could at least give it a minute to warm up.
He turns the shower on, letting the water run and moving to brush his teeth. Steam begins to cloud the mirror and he spits, throws his pajamas into a basket and steps into the shower. The hot water seems to wash away the tension and exhaustion from his muscles, and he lets out a sigh.
It’s been four months since he left Konoha. Two months since he and Jiraiya were ambushed and two months since they found themselves stranded in this brand new world.
But that didn’t change anything. He hadn’t changed and if there’s one thing Uzumaki Naruto wouldn’t do, it’s give up. If there’s a way
home he would find it and if there isn’t one, then he would just make a way home. He still needs to train. To get stronger. Strong enough to bring Sasuke back, kick Akatsuki’s ass and become Hokage. And in the last two months, with Jiraiya’s new sense of urgency, he’s gotten stronger by leaps and bounds.
“Still can’t make a Rasengan with only one hand through.†He mutters under his breath, cutting off the water and grabbing a towel to dry himself off. Going to his room he gets dressed, putting on his typical orange jacket and pants, frowning at the numerous rips and tears in the fabric. It will need to be replaced soon. Entering the living room he ties his headband on, perking an eyebrow at the sight of his sensei, the man’s typical attire exchanged for a pale green suit, his hair cut short and the tear marks gone from his face.
“The hell?!â€
The sage rolls his eyes, fixing his red tie. “It’s just a genjutsu brat, like Tsunade-hime. We actually need to go out today so I can’t just go around looking like I usually go. Get a move on, I want to get some training in before we meet with Konoemon. We can get something to eat along the way.â€
“Gesshimayu-oji-san? What are we meeting with him for?â€
“Eh, don’t worry about it.†Jiraiya smirks at Naruto. He does not like that smirk. It is a scheming smirk with an undertone of perversion, something that sends shivers racing down the young Jinchuriki’s spine.
“Let’s just say your life is about to get a lot more interesting.â€
-0-0-
“WHAT?! You no-good, perverted, shitty, old sack of-“
A cry of disbelief rings out in the dean’s office, followed by a string of curses. Takamichi looks away with a sweat drop, one arm holding the collar of the flailing Naruto. Stopping the boy from his attempts to inflect grievous bodily harm to his sensei.
“It’s not that bad!†Jiraiya holds his hands up, a mocking grin playing across his lips. “Just think of it as a really long series of D-rank missions where you don’t get paid!â€
“%@#$!!!!!â€
The blond Jinchuriki stops, body going limp as his hair casts an ominous shadow over his eyes. The three adults in the room, Takamichi, Jiraiya and Konoemon, look at each other in worry. Then, the sound of tearing cloth. And Naruto tackles Jiraiya into the wall with a roar.
Takamichi looks, slowly, from the torn piece of orange jacket to the grown man and child, the two superhuman ninjas throwing each other around the spacious office. He sighs, bringing his other hand out of his pocket to rest firmly on his face.
“Hohoho, quite energetic aren’t they?â€
“Sometimes it’s like watching Jack mentoring a younger Nagi. Though, thankfully, less destructive.â€
“Less destructive?â€
“If a situation like that were to actually occur, Mahora wouldn’t still be here.â€
Takamichi, without removing his palm, steps to the side. Just in time for a green and white blur to slam into the coffee table in the middle of the office. With a yell Naruto leaps into the air, heel poised to drive Jiraiya through the floor. He falls, only for Jiraiya to catch his attack with ease and toss him. Naruto lands, sticking to the wall and bringing his hands together in a cross shaped seal. Four clones phase into existence around the blond Jinchuriki and they leap at the Toad Sage.
“Shouldn’t we… I don’t know… stop them before someone hears or sees them?â€
“We figured Naruto-kun would have a reaction like this, Takamichi-kun. The room’s already been reinforced and silencing seals placed.â€
They turn to see Jiraiya swinging, what they assume to be the original Naruto, like a bat to fend off his clones. It works, until one of the clones transforms into a beautiful, blond bombshell. It distracts Jiraiya for just long enough for Naruto to twist in the man’s grip, kicking him in the face to free himself. The clone reverts to its original form in a cloud of smoke and it and its brethren charge, kicking Jiraiya into the air, Naruto himself jumping after the sage.
“UZUMAKI NARUTO RE- GAK!â€
It is almost pathetic, how easily the sage rights himself, sticks to the ceiling and smacks Naruto out of the air. Takamichi watches as Naruto’s clones catch him and take to the ceiling, fighting against Jiraiya upside down and across the room. A sigh.
“And Naruto wasn’t supposed to stress his body today. So much for relaxing.â€
-0-0-
“Still pissed over there brat?"
"YOU SOLD ME! YOU! SOLD! ME!!!"
It is only the kind and busty head nurse's grip that stops the blond Jinchuriki from jumping at him. Not that Jiraiya could blame him. If there were a pair of knockers that magnificent hanging just over his shoulder, he wouldn't want to move either.
There's also the fact that he totally kicked his apprentice's ass. No matter how much the brat's improved these past two months, he is still no match for the Holy Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku!
They sit in the infirmary in the aftermath of their short skirmish. Jiraiya sits in one of the chairs while Naruto gets taken care of by Shizuna. With the strength of a thousand men he tears his gaze away from the head nurse's neckline to look at his godson.
His godson... it’s hard to believe that he forgot he's the one that named the brat. If it wasn't for their brush with death, only two months ago, who knows when and if he would have remembered. In all honesty it’s not that surprising. He always has been one to more heavily dwell on his failures than his achievements. And having a child named after one of his books, no matter how much of the brat the kid could be at times, is definitely something he considers an achievement.
"Try not to work your body too hard for the next couple days, ok?"
"Mmmm~ fine."
The kind nurse finishes patching Naruto up, warning him against any strenuous activity for the next couple of days with a kind smile and a pat on the shoulder. The boy's response is a grumbled agreement.
Jiraiya stands, the weight of so many failures weighing him down. Tsunade, Orochimaru, Sarutobi-sensei and the boy's own father. But no more. Not this one. He would do right by his godson, no matter what.
And first things first. To find out who attacked them that day, almost two months ago, and why.
"Ready to get going brat? We can grab something to eat before I leave."
All he gets for his efforts are an upturned nose and crossed arms. Fine. Time for his trump card.
"Don't want to? Aw, that's too bad. And here I was thinking of trying out this new place that I heard has amazing ramen..."
Twenty minutes later finds Jiraiya and Naruto at the campus's famous Chao Bao Zi, Jiraiya enjoying a small plate of nikuman and Naruto devouring his third bowl of miso ramen.
"You know it’s for your own good right?" Jiraiya asks, giving thanks to their waiter. A strange girl with long green hair and strange attachments for ears.
The whiskered boy's response is a muffled snort, the noodles hanging from his chin giving a distasteful flap in his general direction. He glares, slurping the heavenly ramen into his stuffed cheeks and swallowing them in a mighty gulp. The blue eyed glare pins him for just another few seconds before apparently deciding that the food before him is more deserving of his attention.
Reaching over, he dips a nikuman into the ramen broth, earning him a searing glare. Biting into it, he savors the perfect blend of bread, meat and spices with a touch of miso. Hm. Not bad. "This isn't 'give up on your 'friend' that shoved a hand in your chest before you get yourself killed' serious. This is Akatsuki level serious. And unlike the Akatsuki, there's no safety buffer. No chance of saving you if you get caught off guard. Whoever it was that attacked us was playing for keeps and if that Akatsuki member hadn't stepped in at the last second, we would both be dead right now. Not only that but now we're on your mysterious assailant's home turf. I was able to confirm with Konoemon that the one that attacked us was a mage. Not only are we stuck with no way home, but we're alone."
A pause. The Toad Sage reconsiders his statement. "Well, not really alone. The village won't be able to help us but the dean's really stuck his neck out for us these past few months. Helping me publish my books, giving us a roof over our head and protecting us with his influence. Having you work for him as a retainer is not only a way to thank him but it’ll officially place you under his authority. Nobody would be able to openly attack you without risking the wrath of the Kanto Magic Association. I didn’t do it to ditch you. I did it to protect you.â€
“Pft. Yeah right. I bet you’re just going to go perving around.†The words are accusing but there is a grudging acceptance behind them. A fourth bowl is placed before Naruto, the green haired waiter leaving once more with a polite bow. He notes how the girl’s gaze lingers on his godson for just a moment as she leaves.
He suppresses a perverted giggle. With how hard he’s been training to distract himself from the bleakness of their situation, some female company would probably do his godson some good.
“We need to find some way back to the Elemental Nations and Konoemon can’t just protect us forever. That’s why I need to head out to do some investigating. Not only that but if I play my cards right, we may be able to make a few more allies."
Naruto grunts. A begrudging agreement. He smirks, digging into his pocket to pay with a generous tip. "Don't be like that. Chin up. I'll teach you a new jutsu once I get back."
Blue eyes light up and the gloom and irritation disappear like mist. "Really?!"
It works like a charm. Ramen and new jutsu. All you’ll ever need when it comes to dealing with the blond Jinchuriki.
"Yep. But only if you don’t cause Konoemon or Takamichi any trouble! If you do, you’ll be editing my work for the rest of the training trip!â€
“Keh!â€
It is 10:40. Jiraiya’s train leaves at 11:00. The trip to the station is a relatively normal affair, Naruto pestering Jiraiya about what jutsu he planned to teach him and Jiraiya remaining stubbornly tight-lipped, much to Naruto’s displeasure. They arrive to find Takamichi waiting for them, a smoldering cigar hanging between his lips.
“Yo.â€
“Takamegane!!â€
He gives Takamichi a look dripping with sympathy as everyone in the station turns to the bespectacled teacher. Another victim of Naruto’s terrible naming sense. Takamichi ignores the twitch developing in his eye with a practiced professionalism and, gives Jiraiya an apologetic smile. “Sorry but the dean couldn’t make it. He sent me in his place.â€
“Uhuh. Leme guess. Holed up in his office, enjoying the latest fruits of my labor?â€
“Ahaha…†Takamichi sheepishly chuckles. Jiraiya shakes his head. It’s sad cause it’s true.
“Alright brat, I’m going to be heading out.†says Jiraiya, poking his godson to get his attention. “Remember. No Kyubi chakra and no experimenting with new seals! We’re not even going to risk messing with that demon in your gut in such a populated area.â€
“Yeah, yeah Ero-sennin. That jutsu you’re teaching me when you get back better be suuuuper~ awesome!â€
-0-0-
“Of course it’ll be super awesome! It’s one of my techniques after all!â€
The large man makes a pose so ridiculous, so farcical that it would be impossible to take him seriously had Takamichi not already seen the might of the Toad Sage for himself. There is an undeniable air of nostalgia, watching the two. Terrifying power, hidden behind a mask of goofiness, and in the younger’s case, stupidity. Without a doubt, the two would have been right at home in the merry band of Ala Rubra.
He keenly notes, how the crowd that had been drawn by Naruto’s shouting disperses at Jiraiya’s over the top antics.
“O yeah. Here.â€
Takamichi raises an eyebrow as the sage reaches into his pocket, depositing an inordinate sum of bills into his apprentice’s hand.
“That’s your monthly stipend and a little extra so you can get yourself some new cloths and other things you’ll need when you move. You don’t need a two bedroom apartment so I went ahead and asked Konoemon to terminate the lease.â€
“Why?! Where am I going to live then Ero-sennin?!â€
“Calm down. Konoemon’s already arranged something for you.â€
“You’ll be living with another in the service of the Konoe family in the student dorms.†Takamichi helpfully interjects. “Actually, I think the two of you will get along pretty well.â€
“… Really?â€
“And there you have it. Now make sure you stay out of trouble!â€
Jiraiya turns to him, extending a hand. “Sorry Takamichi but I’m going to have to ask you to look after the knucklehead while I’m gone. If he starts to annoy you too much feel free to kick his ass.â€
“OI!â€
“It’s no trouble at all. Have a safe trip Jiraiya-san.†Takamichi says, taking Jiraiya’s offered hand in a firm handshake. Pulling slightly he leans in. Just enough to make sure no passerby could overhear him and not stand out. “Give this letter to a man by the name of Rakan. He’ll charge you an arm and a leg for it but he’ll get you what you need.â€
The letter slides seamlessly from the folds of his suit to Jiraiya’s. They break, the dwindling crowd around them none the wiser. With a nod, Jiraiya steps towards the doors, disappearing behind a sea of bodies as the last call for the train echoes over the platform. The doors close. A whistle sounds. And the train takes off, quickly disappearing into the distance.
“Ahhhh!!! I just remembered!â€
Takamichi looks down at his shorter companion who looks about three seconds from running down the train just to get another swing at his sensei.
“The whole reason I left Konoha with Ero-sennin in the first place was because he would train me! I can’t just sit around doing nothing until he gets back! Who’s going to train me while he’s gone?!â€
A hand pats the fuming boy on the shoulder. “I’m sure the dean can figure something out. But for now it’s a good idea to get some rest. It would be bad if you were to burn yourself out.â€
“For now let’s focus on getting you acquainted with the area. More than likely Konoemon-sama will just have you run errands unless something important comes up. After that we can go shopping. Towels, soap, a tooth brush. Anything you need to live in the dorms and we can pick up a new set of cloths for you along the way.
Naruto blinks. Looks down, probably noticing for the first time his ragged state of dress. Tears cover his orange pants. Even the fishnet shirt he wears under his jacket has quite a few holes in it. Only a copious amount of strategically placed bandages, courtesy of Shizuna, protect the boy’s modesty.
"Huh. I was wondering why everyone kept staring at me."
Takamichi definitely does not face palm.
The rest of the afternoon goes fairly quickly after that. Shopping is a simple affair, Takamichi bringing Naruto to a popular shopping district in Mahora. Orange seemed to be the color the whiskered boy favors most, picking most of his clothing in such a fashion. The two make their rounds, stopping to buy whatever Naruto may need with the money Jiraiya gave him. They talk, Naruto telling Takamichi about his adventures back home and the teacher lecturing Naruto about magic and the things he’d need to know about the world.
“So… magic is the energy of the world that mages use to power their spells and ki is the physical energies of the body that any experienced fighter can learn to harness.â€
The train is relatively empty, only the odd few running last minute errands the day before the end of spring break. The mage and shinobi duo sits across from each other as they make their way to the student dorms.
An orange hoodie and black pants with orange strips running down the sides replace Naruto’s torn up shirt and pants. His bandages are gone, the minor wounds from his scuffle with Jiraiya long healed. The headband bearing the symbol of his village rests in his pocket, the scroll containing his bags in his other pocket and the green gem of the Shodai’s necklace hanging from his neck.
“That’s right.†Takamichi nods. “But remember, it’s not uncommon for some mages to use ki nor for fighters who aren’t mages themselves to receive magic power from an outside source. I, myself, use magic and ki to augment my physical abilities.â€
Naruto makes a noise, his eyes squinted and his arms crossed. He then lets out a moan, burying his hands in his blond tresses.
“Ok, you lost me. This stuff is way too complicated!â€
The older chuckles as the train begins to slow. “Don’t worry about it too much. I’ll show you what I mean later. From what Jiraiya-san told me, that’ll probably help you understand a lot better.â€
The train jerks to a stop, the conductor announcing they have arrived. They stand, exit the train and continue on their way.
“This is where you’ll be living.†Takamichi says as they approach a massive, six story complex. “The dormitory is supposed to only house students, but the dean was able to make an exception.â€
Ascending the stairs, Takamichi stops at one of the doors. Curiously Naruto glances at the nameplate.
‘Sakurazaki Setsuna’
“Setsuna-kun should have been notified by the dean. If anything comes up-“ Takamichi pauses. Two months was enough time for him to get to know the orange clad shinobi quite well. And if there’s one thing he knows about Uzumaki Naruto…
“On second thought, let me talk to Setsuna-kun first.â€
-0-0-
Naruto perks a brow as Takamichi knocks on the door. There is muffled movement behind it before it opens to reveal a feminine face, standing a few centimeters taller than him. Pale skin and black hair tied into a ponytail, he idly notes the long, tube-like bag strapped to her back. Brown eyes glance at him dismissively before turning towards Takamichi.
“Takahata-sensei. How can I help you?â€
Naruto blinks. Blue eyes roam from the sharp brown eyes, to the school uniform to the skirt and legs and back up. Not out of perversion but for an entirely different reason.
“Good afternoon Setsuna-kun. This is Uzumaki Naruto. I wanted to formally introduce you to your new roommate and make sure there aren’t any complication.â€
When Naruto was told he would be living with someone, he assumed it would be a boy for the simple reason that most would say that it’s inappropriate for boys and girls to be living together at his age. That belief was enforced when Takamichi referred to his roommate as ‘Setsuna-kun’. While Setsuna is a fairly gender ambiguous name, -kun is typically used to refer to males. So one could not blame Naruto for assuming his roommate to be male.
“Ah, yes.†Brown eyes turn on him. A slight bow of the waist, a hand extended in a gesture of civility. “Sakurazaki Setsuna. I believe we will be working together for the foreseeable future. It is nice to meet you, Uzumaki-san.â€
The person standing in front of him, the person who is most likely the one Konoemon arranged for him to live with, most definitely appears to be female. The gears in Naruto’s head begin to turn on rust covered hinges, trying to consolidate the idea of his ‘male’ roommate with the distinctly feminine image before him and failing miserably.
The memory of a certain far, far too feminine boy drifts to the forefront of his mind and the seeds of ruin begin to bloom.
A second passes in silence. And another. And another. Takamichi looks at Naruto, alarm bells blaring in his head at the wide unthinking stare. A blink. Blue eyes squint and Naruto leans in with a frown.
“Uzumaki-san?â€
If he hears Setsuna or how uncomfortable she is, Naruto makes no indication of it. Another moment passes. Then, with the tact of an out of control bulldozer he asks,
“Are you a boy?â€
-0-0-
It is thanks to Jiraiya’s seals and just a touch of magic that the dean’s office is good as new. Like two super human shinobi hadn’t spent the better half of the morning trying to inflict grievous bodily injury on one another. Seated comfortably behind his desk, Konoe Konoemon is in nirvana. The paperwork is done, both for the mundane and the magical, and he is enjoying the latest fruits of Jiraiya’s labor. There is a frantic banging on his door and Konoemon looks up from his signed, pre-release edition of Icha Icha. Of course he knows who his visitor is. He’s been expecting it since he first arranged it with Jiraiya. Slipping his precious book away he folds his hands over his desk, for all appearance looking to be the veritable old wizard that he is.
“Come in.â€
The door slams open. Loudly. But what follows is even louder.
“Oi, what in the hell Gesshimayu-oji-san?! Why’d you arrange for me to live with a girl?!â€
“Good afternoon to you as well, Naruto-kun.†Konoemon turns from the whiskered boy to the dark haired swordsman and teacher behind him, both following at a slightly more sedate pace. “I’m assuming you here for a similar reason Setsuna-chan?â€
She nods, somehow managing to convey all her annoyance and frustration with the single motion. Looking slightly behind her, Konoemon perks a hairy, bushy eyebrow at the man whose palm is firmly affixed to his face.
“Long day?
“The first four words out his mouth after meeting her were, ‘Are you a boy’. Seriously. Just, 'Are you a boy'.â€
“Hey!" A finger jabs at the teacher in protest. In accusation. "You're the one that made it sound like Setsuna was a guy when you called her Setsuna-kun! Even I know that -kun is normally used for boys! I'm not good with manly girls and girly men damn it!"
All those in the room give the boy a judging look. “Don’t look at me like that! You don’t know what I know! You haven’t seen what I’ve seen!â€
He knows what Naruto is talking about. Judging from his expression, Takamichi does too. It is only Setsuna who glances around curiously, probably wondering just what in the hell the whiskered boy is talking about. And for good reason.
“What's the issue Naruto-kun?" asks Konoemon, so obviously amused. "Most boy's your age would be more than glad for the chance to live with a cute girl."
“THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE!â€
“Haah~†A sigh. Stippling his fingers, he turns to both of the young warriors in turn. “Naruto-kun. Setsuna-chan. Why do you think I arranged for the two of you to live together?â€
“Cause you’re a perverted geezer.†Naruto deadpans. Setsuna coughs and looks to the side. A cough that more or less says, ‘I’m not rude enough to actually say it out loud but yes, basically what he said’.
“True, but that’s not what I’m talking about.†Konoemon turns to the boy who looks about ten seconds from trying to shave off one of his eyebrows. Again. “The reason I put you to together is teamwork.â€
“Teamwork.â€
“Yes, teamwork.â€
It is the utter flatness of Naruto’s stare that tells Konoemon just how much the whiskered boy believes him. Yet it is the pale skinned hanyou is the first to vocalize her thoughts. “With all due respect Konoemon-sama, I am more than capable of handling any situation involving Konoka-ojou-sama myself.â€
Naruto steps back, leaning towards Takamichi. “Konoka-ojou-sama? Who’s that?â€
“The dean’s granddaughter. I think she’s about your age, actually. Setsuna-kun has been her bodyguard since they were little.â€
“Gesshimayu-oji-san’s granddaughter..?†murmurs Naruto under his breath, his mind conjuring the image of what he thinks the granddaughter of the elderly mage looks like. The elderly mage with a misshapen head, impossibly long earlobes and eyebrows that Naruto is quite certain are, in fact, furry, white rats that the dean took and glued to his forehead.
The orange clad shinobi lets out a visible shiver. “Creepy.â€
Setsuna turns and pins him with a glare. An actual glare instead of just irritably staring at him. Naruto blinks. “What? That pissed you off?! I ask you if you’re a guy and you just look at me like I’m an idiot but I say one word about this ‘Konoka’ and then you get angry? What in the hell?!â€
She says nothing, instead turning back to Konoemon, the old mage appearing more entertained than anything. “There is no need for there to be any kind of trust between us. As you can see, this fool is obviously unfit to be anything except an errand boy.â€
“Hey!â€
“Now, now Setsuna-kun.†Takamichi says, stepping between the two enraged teenagers. “While Naruto-kun may not be the most… intelligent of individuals-“
“HEY!!â€
“- he has a good heart and is more than capable of taking care of himself when and if the need arises.â€
“That’s right! I could totally kick your ass in a fight!â€
Slowly, almost like a statue, Setsuna turns on Naruto with narrowed eyes. “Is that so?â€
‘Damn it, Naruto.’ That’s Takamichi.
“Hohoho…†Interesting. It’s probably irresponsible of him to encourage this both as the dean and a(moderately) responsible adult. Very irresponsible. Still, he can at least run damage control. “How about this. Naruto-kun. Setsuna-chan.â€
Both turn to him whilst somehow simultaneously glaring at each other. Trapped between them, Takamichi sighs, something the teacher has been doing a lot recent.
“Setsuna-chan, you want an accurate gauge of Naruto-kun’s abilities. And Naruto-kun… well, I’m sure you’d love a chance to have a swing at Setsuna-chan.â€
Two nods. “Then here is what I propose. A spar. However not today, not tomorrow but in one week at the Mahora Martial Arts Ring. Train, prepare, do whatever you wish until then, but be sure to be there in one week’s time at midday. You are free to decide the terms and conditions for yourself in the meantime as the two of you will be living together. This is not my word as the dean but as the head of the Konoe family.â€
They grumble. They sulk. But neither make any move to protest. Setsuna because she is loyal to his family and Naruto because he knows that if he does, Konoemon would destroy him through superior brainpower.
The contrast before him is so very extreme that it is amusing. Blond, messy hair, unbound and free, and black, straight hair, arranged into a tidy ponytail. Wide blue eyes and sharp brown eyes. Bright and cheerful, and serious and focused. Boy and girl. Ninja and samurai. Honestly, the elderly mage is unsure how they could be any more different. On the outside at least. Yet that is part of the old man’s plan. His hope and prayer that they will be able to work together and realize as for all their differences, they are remarkably similar. Past trauma’s and scars, buried but not forgotten.
The dean knows about the Kyubi. Of course, Jiraiya told them about it(as well as many other things) as such information wasn’t something you kept to yourself until it was too late. And from the knowledge that the beast inside the orange clad ninja’s belly is the very one that nearly destroyed the boy’s home village the day he was born, it wasn’t very hard to connect the dots. To understand why he acts out the way he does.
Both shunned because of something beyond their control. Both made outcasts from birth. It is enough to make the dean wonder, if Naruto had been cast out, if Setsuna had been too much of a military asset to let go, if the scene before him would have eventually come to pass once more in a completely different way.
Assuming Naruto still managed to find his way into their world again of course.
“Well then, that’s that.†Konoemon concludes with an air of finality and a happy smile. “Both of you make sure to get a good night’s rest! Tomorrow is the first day of school, Setsuna-chan and for you Naruto-kun, I already have some jobs lined up.â€
Two groans. Naruto glares. Stomps out of the door, Setsuna and Takamichi following behind him. Konoemon leans back as the door closes behind them, retrieving his Icha Icha from its hiding place. Pointedly ignoring the cries and shouts coming from the hallway that are most certainly Naruto’s. For all they hate each other at the moment, the elderly mage is certain Naruto and Setsuna will become great friends. After all, opposites attract.
Right?