Akamatsuverse Art Pamphlet

ThreadWeaver

Beware of Dog. Cat not trustworthy either.
#52
Lord Raa said:
“I haven’t lost track of the time like that in quite a while,” the swordswoman mused, small smile forming on her lips. “I think we should have something to eat.”

“Yes, I’m feeling hungry now,” Keitaro smiled.


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Nice. I like how you went with the tease like pic first. Now she can spend time, and humor, trying to coax him into doing the full thing.
---------------------------------
Is this where Tsuruko is supposed to reward him?

“Yes, I’m feeling hungry now,” Keitaro smiled.

"Yes, Keitaro, I am too," the swordswoman growled seductively, softly, as she gazed at the artist with a look that would make herd animals run for their lives.

I have a whole near-smut omake scene in mind for that one. Dang how I hate where my brain chooses to go some days.
 

Predhack

Well-Known Member
#53
Yes... Yes I'm enjoying this greatly. Thank you. Please... go on.
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#54
In an attempt to write more, I've kinda started another scene, however, it's a little out of sequence.

It needs another day or two of in-story time in order to get to it.

That said....


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later scenes

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Tsuruko looked at Keitaro's latest sketch. it was of the view from the top of the stairs to the Hinata Sou. There was nothing wrong with the image, but it felt rather impersonal to the swordswoman.

Had she been offered the sketch as a gift before she’d gotten to know Orateki, she’d have accepted it without hesitation. But then, that was before she’d modelled for him.

“Keitaro-san,” she said slightly nervously, “I... I feel uncomfortable asking you this. I feel like I am being most ungrateful saying this, but could I have a... a more personal picture?”

“You want a portrait? Are you sure?”

“Yes please, I would consider it a great honour, Keitaro-san.”

Keitaro blinked. it had been a long time since someone had tried to commission him for a portrait. Admittedly he’d shied away from the public eye for most of that time, but it was still a bit surprising to him.

At least it was until he realised how indebted he felt towards the swordswoman.

‘If it hadn’t been for Tsuruko-san, then I wouldn’t have done anything other than mope around feeling sorry for myself after that sketch had been sold...’

“If you promise not to sell it, Tsuruko-san.”

Tsuruko felt her heart soar. “I promise on my life and the honour of my entire clan, that I will not sell this image, Keitaro-san.”

“Then we shall start your portrait tomorrow, Tsuruko-san. I... is there any particular style or setting that you want me to draw you in?”

“I... I think that I might have to see if I can find something a little more flattering than my gi and hakama,” Tsuruko replied, a slightly naughty thought popping into her head.

(I think that you might be able to see which direction it could lead to...)
 

EagleCeres

Well-Known Member
#55
Can't help it... Tsu-chan makes for delicious caek!

More whenever you can, good Sir!
 

MnemoD

Well-Known Member
#56
She is delicious christmas cake. We must make Keitaro eat it.

On that note, I must request MO4R. Though I have to wonder idly if maybe Tsuruko's naughty mind is overstepping it's boundaries... OR IS IT?
 

lhklan

Well-Known Member
#57
IWhoWouldLoveHerForever said:
She is delicious christmas cake. We must make Keitaro eat it.

On that note, I must request MO4R. Though I have to wonder idly if maybe Tsuruko's naughty mind is overstepping it's boundaries... OR IS IT?
Agree. Delicious christmas cake is delicious.

I thought boundaries are meant to be overstepped in forbidden ways?
 

FinalMax

Well-Known Member
#59
Besides, this is for SCIENCE! ART!
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#60
Jimbobob5536 said:
She IS married..... but this is FANFICTION!

Fun story.
Tsuruko was married. Alas, she has been widowed in this story.
 

lhklan

Well-Known Member
#61
Lord Raa said:
Jimbobob5536 said:
She IS married..... but this is FANFICTION!

Fun story.
Tsuruko was married. Alas, she has been widowed in this story.
The path is clear my comrades! CHARGES!
 

Zhou_Mak

Well-Known Member
#62
Lord Raa said:
Jimbobob5536 said:
She IS married..... but this is FANFICTION!

Fun story.
Tsuruko was married. Alas, she has been widowed in this story.
That's the sort of detail that needs to come up earlier, and naturally. (Or at least not brought up as a quick titbit before some of the Rumpy-Bumpy) Is Motoko aware? If she is, that may be a cause for a fun personal scare when she comes to grips with her beginning affections. Can't you see it?

//////////////(Bullshit Psuedo-story Incoming)//////////////

It bothered Motoko somewhat that Tsuruko had decided to extend her stay at the Hinata Sou, especially when the elder Aoyama appeared to have given up on her search for the elusive Orateki. However, it was to Motoko's great delight when Keitaro got a room ready for Tsuruko immediately following his sudden and miraculous recovery.

In fact, Keitaro seemed to be energized in a new way now. He had always been prompt with repairs before, but now there seemed to be a lilt in his step that was absent, but seemed to fit perfectly, like it should have been there all along. It was also infectious, spreading around the Hinata Sou like a plague of smiles and happy thoughts. Motoko found herself contemplating what a life with such an energetic and lively man would be like for a few days, and a not-insignificant amount of nights, as well.

It then crossed her consciousness, a dark cloud over her sunny fantasy. [He's been spending an awful lot of time with Tsuruko, though, hasn't he?]

She says it's nothing too serious, she's just helping him out. Probably just some meditation exercises.

[Is that why they're always breathing so heavy when they're done? You do remember why you had to leave home, didn't you?]

I have grown! I understand better now, I have a reason to see that as more than theft!

[Oh, I'm so glad you understand better, now. I suppose you understand what a recent widow has been doing with your manager that ends in heavy breathing then, hmmm?]

The cry that was let loose rent the air, interrupting Keitaro's stream-of-consciousness drawing he was doing with Tsuruko, "Darn, now there's a huge gash between the people."

"That's what erasers are for, Keitaro-san."

"But not for a sketch like this, Tsuruko-san, erasers are cheating. For this exercise, it needs to be incorporated into the piece."

//////////////(Bullshit Psuedo-story Outcoming)//////////////

Or, if Motoko has been increibly lax in her letter-writing, she might be unawares of this recent development in Tsuruko's life. This might lead to a scene like this:

//////////////(I'm doing it again, you've been warned)//////////////

Motoko, clearly distressed with this line of conversation, responded hotly, "I suppose that would be an issue, if Aneue weren't already married."

"I don't mean to be rude, but then why does Tsuruko-san not wear her band?" replied Shinobu. Motoko was too graceful to be either flabbergasted or sputter, but only just. In the awkward pause that fell after the question, Kitsune found her wits first.

"Why are you watching for who's wearing wedding rings, Shinobu-chan?"

Shinobu carefully considered her answer for a few moments, then responded with an even tone and heavy blush, "I observe everyone who arrives and Keitaro's response to them as potential matches. It helps me know what and how to improve." As soon as the words left her lips, she brought up her tea and made to use it as a shield against the stunned silence that was her response.

//////////////(Okay, I promise I'm done crapping up the story now)//////////////

Regardless of the method, it does need to come up and be dealt with. It's not that I distrust you, Lord Raa, it's just that I've seen too many stories where it's handwaved away just before sexytimes commence. It smacks of lazy writing, and that's terrible.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#63
//////////////(Bullshit Psuedo-story Incoming)//////////////
Rats... thought it was an update

Shinobu carefully considered her answer for a few moments, then responded with an even tone and heavy blush, "I observe everyone who arrives and Keitaro's response to them as potential matches. It helps me know what and how to improve." As soon as the words left her lips, she brought up her tea and made to use it as a shield against the stunned silence that was her response.
And here I thought it was to determine whom her enemies were.

It smacks of lazy writing, and that's terrible.
Ouch.
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#64
Hmm...

You do raise a good point.

I do hope to have the motivation and inspiration to add a scene where Tsuruko's marital status is mentioned in a way that isn't ambiguous or blatant exposition dialogue. However, I've been working on Double or Nothing lately and I can only write one story at a time.

As for your comment about lazy writing? The truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it still hurts.

We'll see what wants to come out in the coming weeks. I do have a week off work at the end of July, so perhaps I'll find myself revisiting this one and giving it another pass and reposting everything in a single chunk to aid flow.
 

Zhou_Mak

Well-Known Member
#65
PCHeintz72 said:
//////////////(Bullshit Psuedo-story Incoming)//////////////
Rats... thought it was an update
Which is why I both set it aside and claimed it wasn't part of anything.

And Raa, I've read lots of your work, I trust you won't make that mistake, but I've seen it happen many times.

Besides, why make mistakes that have been made hundreds of times before when new and more interesting mistakes are just over the horizon?
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#66
Zhou_Mak said:
PCHeintz72 said:
//////////////(Bullshit Psuedo-story Incoming)//////////////
Rats... thought it was an update
Which is why I both set it aside and claimed it wasn't part of anything.

And Raa, I've read lots of your work, I trust you won't make that mistake, but I've seen it happen many times.

Besides, why make mistakes that have been made hundreds of times before when new and more interesting mistakes are just over the horizon?
You know though, it could be counter argued that peraps her not mentioning it was *not* a mistake.

Think about it, if you were divorced, would you go around announcing it to everyone everywhere you went?
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#67
Funnily enough, I'm kinda in a similar situation with this.

I'm reluctant to say more, since I feel it's inappropriate to talk about other people's situation, but it's a case of life imitating art with this.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#68
Lord Raa said:
Funnily enough, I'm kinda in a similar situation with this.

I'm reluctant to say more, since I feel it's inappropriate to talk about other people's situation, but it's a case of life imitating art with this.
As a FYI, while it should be obvious, I'll state it anyway. I was talking strictly from within the standpoint of the story in regards to situations, not your real like, which did not even occur to me when making that post.
 

Zhou_Mak

Well-Known Member
#69
Lord Raa said:
Funnily enough, I'm kinda in a similar situation with this.

I'm reluctant to say more, since I feel it's inappropriate to talk about other people's situation, but it's a case of life imitating art with this.
Egg. Just egg, all over my face, and I seem to be choking on a foot.
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#70
Don't worry, I know that you're both referring to Tsuruko, it's just a coincidence.

If you were in Tsuruko's position, when would you deem it appropriate to mention the death of her husband?
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#71
Lord Raa said:
Don't worry, I know that you're both referring to Tsuruko, it's just a coincidence.

If you were in Tsuruko's position, when would you deem it appropriate to mention the death of her husband?
If she is looking to pursue an honest relationship and being honest about it, she should tell him before announcing that is what she wants so he does not get mixed signals, so to speak...

However, just blurting it is no good. I could see her introducing him to the fact though during one of their sessions... say as part of idle conversation that she might want to steer toward...
 

Zhou_Mak

Well-Known Member
#72
Lord Raa said:
Don't worry, I know that you're both referring to Tsuruko, it's just a coincidence.

If you were in Tsuruko's position, when would you deem it appropriate to mention the death of her husband?
I agree with PCHeintz72, as far as her talking to Keitaro about it, I do have a feeling that depending on how long she's there, she may bring it up to Motoko privately. Especially if it's been more than two or three weeks (Just Motoko asking after him to see if her husband's coming with her on this great hunt, nothing probing).

Other than that, the rest of the housemates don't need to know, and unless Tsuruko keeps wearing the ring or otherwise makes waves in that direction, they wouldn't find out, logically.

Haruka will probably know inside of a few days. She's super protective and all that. But she would also not say anything about it until it seemed that Keitaro and Tsuruko would be going places, and even then, it would probably be in private, to Tsuruko.

Just my thoughts, disregard as necessary.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#73
@Zhou_Mak

I agreed with everything you said except:

Haruka will probably know inside of a few days. She's super protective and all that. But she would also not say anything about it until it seemed that Keitaro and Tsuruko would be going places, and even then, it would probably be in private, to Tsuruko.
If you mean in canon, since when is Haruka all that protective of him. She was part of the setup of entrapping him there. That is not to say she may not love him, but I will not ascribe protectiveness to him.

Now, if you mean in this story, possibly, she did after all help keep his secret identity, and has acted as a sounding board.
 

Antimatter

Well-Known Member
#74
I don't think she entrapped him there at all, hell she seemed surprised that he was there. She was as shocked as anyone when grandma gave him the Inn.
 

kevinasher

Well-Known Member
#75
Antimatter said:
I don't think she entrapped him there at all, hell she seemed surprised that he was there. She was as shocked as anyone when grandma gave him the Inn.
I chose to see it that she is a bit sweet on Keitaro, though, I'm not certain I ascribe to the idea that Haruka wasn't at least complicit with Hina's lies of omission to Keitaro about the shit she was setting up to blow up in his face. Hina knew most of the girls' mannerisms, even Shinobu, who, as I recall, wasn't actually a tenant of the dorm when Hina left it. Haruka might not have directly been responsible for bullshit that was done to Keitaro, but she definitely had plenty of reason to think that things would end poorly for Keitaro, and yet she not only didn't make any efforts to keep him out of the hot seat, she also slapped him around for calling him "oba-san", "aunt", which she chose to misinterpret as "old woman", and mind you, she made Keitaro call her that when he was a kid anyway, so it was her own damn fault.

All that said, I agree with the assessment that Haruka would find out that her husband is referred to in the past tense, and I'm of the opinion that she'd keep that info to herself, much like Kitsune does when she thinks she can make something of a long game out of holding onto such info.
 
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