Naruto Funny Fanfic quotes

crazyfoxdemon · Jun 30, 2011

Roxas2 said:

From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4779886/2/Pyromaniac_Uzumaki_Naruto' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Pyromaniac: Uzumaki Naruto!</a>

Yeah, I know its a nercro but this quote had me grinning like a loon.

Its not a necro if you bring something worthy to the table, and this is the funny quotes thread.. all in all, not the best quote IMO but *shrugs* to each their own..

whitewhiskey · Jun 30, 2011

Alright, I posted it in another thread, but I think it fits here too. A quote I once read in a fic I unfortunately stumbled upon. The fic is only one chapter so far, and it's short and <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6285524/1/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>absolute crap</a>, but has one exchange that is funny as hell...

Sakura and Naruto said:

Prince Charon · Jul 1, 2011

whitewhiskey said:

Alright, I posted it in another thread, but I think it fits here too. A quote I once read in a fic I unfortunately stumbled upon. The fic is only one chapter so far, and it's short and <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6285524/1/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>absolute crap</a>, but has one exchange that is funny as hell...

Sakura and Naruto said:

(without reading the fic) Poor Sakura. Really not something she needs to hear.

da_fox2279 · Jul 2, 2011

Sasuke turns as he hears someone appearing nearby, raising an eyebrow as he sees the large feline has returned. "Problem, Neko-san?"

Tomiko narrows his eyes at the boy, then looks at Naruto. He glances between them before finally nodding to himself. "Uchiha-brat. Join the twerp when he goes to eat with Iruka."

"I see no reason why I should," the Uchiha replies, glaring at him.

The cat lifts his head regally. "Don't underestimate my standing in the village. I can tell the Hokage that I believe it will be conducive to your emotional development, and he'll take it under advisement."

Sasuke glares harder. "And why would you do that?"

"Because I'm a cat. I like to live up to the perception that all cats are assholes."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitches as the feline disappears in another burst of smoke. Suddenly, he understands why Naruto likes to annoy Tomiko.

- From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6808978/1/Oatmeal' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Oatmeal</a>, by Reizbar-Ookami

Flamewolf · Jul 12, 2011

Not exactly funny, but...

Madara was amazed that Nagato who knew who he was had never gotten the joke when it came to his other name, especially considering the fact that it was a joke that an Akatsuki member should easily understand. It was a pretty lame joke, but still...

If one went by the On readings, the Kanji for one through ten were:

Ichi, Ni, San, Shi, Go, Roku, Shichi, Hachi, Kyuu, and Jyuu.

If one went by the Kun readings, they were:

Hitotsu, Futatsu, Mitsu, Yotsu, Itsutsu, Mutsu, Nanatsu, Yatsu, Kokonotsu, and To.

So while it wasn't grammatically correct, for the purposes of his joke, Tobi could be written as "Ten tails".

da_fox2279 · Jul 12, 2011

"Hokage-sama!" an ANBU in a tiger mask said as he knelt before the Sandaime who was in the kitchen refilling the chicken's water bucket. "You asked me to report if the diplomatic delegation from Iwa encountered Naruto."

There was a loud clang as the bucket fell into the sink. The Sandaime paled several shades.

"Wh-What happened?" he asked, fearing the worst. While Naruto mainly resembled his mother, there was enough of a resemblance to his father that someone who was sufficiently intelligent or sufficiently paranoid might chose to harm him.

"They took one look at him, pissed themselves, and ran." the ANBU reported.

- From <a href='http://fanfiction.net/s/7158151/9/Chickenzilla' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Chickenzilla</a> chapter 9, by Lucillia

whitewhiskey · Jul 12, 2011

Prince Charon said:

whitewhiskey said:

(without reading the fic) Poor Sakura. Really not something she needs to hear.

That's probably for the best 'cause, like I said, it's absolute crap. If not for that one line, I'd happily forget it existed.

da_fox2279 · Jul 28, 2011

While the fic in question doesn't reach my 'tolorable fic' level, I found this bit when I skipped ahead:

"And, done", he proclaimed as the last strap was adjusted. Rin shifted in it a bit before turning to the three genin sitting on the couch.

"What do you... think... guys?", she slowed at seeing the genins' reactions. Hiroshi was blushing furiously and so was... Kurenai? Nanami was shifting her gaze between Rin and her... chest... with what looked like envy. Rin turned to Asuma, who hadn't, for some reason, stood up yet.

"... Well... it does tend to emphasize your breasts Rin-chan", he explained to the confused Kunoichi. With wide eyes, Rin opened the closet door to look in the mirror. Rin wasn't humongous by the scale of a pervert... or a sanin for that matter, but she could definitely compete with a Hyuuga if she tried, her breasts being somewhere in the high C's. Unfortunately... or fortunately, they worked in tandem with the amored baby carrier that essentially acted as a bustless corset, pouring over it for all to see... and others to leer. Rin's reaction was obvious for a girl of her caliber.

"Gah! I look like some 200 ryou hooker from the red light district!", she shouted at her reflection. Asuma finally shot up from his position.

"That is utter nonsense! A hooker with those assets cost five times as much BAM!"

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!", she roared as she nailed Asuma on the top of his head, sending him back down to the floor.

- <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6050857/10/The_Unforeseen_Heir' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>The Unforseen Heir</a> chapter 10 by Viraqua

sinewyk · Aug 4, 2011

Kakashi held up his hand, "I know the whole thing from Asuma. He heard it from Shikamaru. All I'll say on this is that no action will be taken to stop either Naruto or Sasuke from progressing in this exam by me or any of the staff. We are ninja and we must be tested and grow through life threatening combat. Neither Naruto or Sasuke fear this aspect of our lifestyle and I will not discount their resolve to lay their lives on the line for their dreams."

Sakura was surprised at the firm tone and seriousness that her teacher displayed in that moment. All around the teacher and student were quiet until Anko purred, "Mmmmà I love serious Kakashi. Want to go have a quickie?"

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5091512/12/Divergence' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Divergence, chapter 12</a>
The fic is ok.

sinewyk · Aug 6, 2011

Hehehe, sorry. I just found it, had to post it

"It's okay, sensei," the jinchuriki replied quickly, closing the door behind him and showing the man his right hand. He flexed it several times, as if it were an interesting show-and-tell item. "It's this isn't it? I can't control my chakra properly because of my right hand and arm, right?"

"Riii-ght," the Chunin replied with an affirmative nod, now slowly starting to feel a little bit anxious of what Naruto was really thinking about his current situation. Not really being the brightest kid, he was still the most spontaneous student he had ever known, so Iruka had a right to feel concernedà for a whoo-le lot of reasons. "Please don't come up with any stupid ideas, Narutoà pleaseà"

"Soà if I want to be able to use jutsu just like everybody else in my class, I have toà chop off my arm and sew a new one on, right?" Naruto asked excitedly.

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7237268/3/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Destiny Breaker Chap 3</a>

zeebee1 · Aug 7, 2011

I should note that dismemberment didn't work for Touma.

sinewyk · Aug 7, 2011

zeebee1 said:

No idea who Touma is

On a side-note, I wonder if Naruto can regrow members ? ^_^

Juubi · Aug 7, 2011

That was covered in Nightmare of Konoha, by Gnosismaster a.k.a our very own Gaara of the Desert. In it, Naruto kept castrating himself, thinking his penis shouldn't be there.

Spectral · Aug 7, 2011

Leonite · Aug 7, 2011

Juubi said:

:jawdrop:

What

FinalMax · Aug 7, 2011

sinewyk said:

Main Character from A Certain Magical Index. Touma Kamijou lives in a city where people are trained and modified to be psychics, but his right arm cancels all supernatural abilities and influences it touches. Hence, he has literally no luck and has no psychic powers. On the plus side, it means he can Falcon Punch God if he wanted to.

Juubi · Aug 7, 2011

Leonite said:

I'll provide a link if you want. <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3803241/1/Naruto_Uzumaki_Nightmare_of_Konoha' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Naruto Uzumaki, Nightmare of Konoha</a>

Chapter 5.

zeebee1 · Aug 8, 2011

Destiny Breaker is Imagine Breaker. The concept is simple enough.

sinewyk · Aug 9, 2011

That fic makes me lol quite hard. It's stupid, there's a lot of useless bashing, but it makes me lol ^_^ .
-edited the link

zeebee1 · Aug 10, 2011

You linked the wrong chapter.

9fox9lives · Aug 26, 2011

From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4259774/7/Hiraishin_World_Tour' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Hiraishin World Tour</a>

TmDagger · Aug 27, 2011

Akatsuki was attacking that ramen shop.
Akatsuki.
Was attacking.
A ramen shop.
...
Naruto's eyes flashed red.
"I knew you were evil," he spoke in a flat, deathly tone.
Red-orange chakra began bubbling out around him.
"I just never realized the depths that your evilness would stoop."
From the chakra sprouted a tail. Then a second.
"Attacking me. Trying to capture me. Hoping to use the power of the Kyubi and other biju for your own twisted schemes. I would deal with that. Handle it rationally.
People walking by who noticed him began fleeing in various directions.
"But I'm wet. I'm lost. I'm hungry. I'm not in a good mood."
An Odama Rasengan formed unconsciously in his hand.
"And that's my ramen you're fucking with!"
Then he was sprinting wildly toward the endangered shop, tunnel-vision locked onto the back of the unsuspecting villain who dared to try taking away his happiness.
The foolish man wouldn't even know what hit him.

From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4259774/5/Hiraishin_World_Tour' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Hiraishin World Tour</a>
I ROFL'ed.

9fox9lives · Sep 1, 2011

From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5152125/9/Bunny' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Bunny chapter 9</a>

Roxas2 · Sep 2, 2011

I'm not sure if this one has been posted yet

From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2908497/11/Hinatas_Little_Black_Book' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Hinata's Little Black Book</a>

Somehow Ibiki calmly doing some shopping in the middle of a civil war strikes me as funny.

9fox9lives · Sep 2, 2011

Roxas2 said:

I'm not sure if this one has been posted yet

From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2908497/11/Hinatas_Little_Black_Book' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Hinata's Little Black Book</a>

Somehow Ibiki calmly doing some shopping in the middle of a civil war strikes me as funny.

To tell the truth i liked Naruto's reason for wearing orange in chapter 2.

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