Naruto Funny Fanfic quotes

[Juopunumies]

Actually I've been on here since 1911, I just don't do much, and my senility has resulted in me forgetting how to create links. So, if one of you "gentlemen" could remind me I'd be most obliged.

<a href='http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11597770/urlpicture.jpg' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Instruction picture in here.</a>

Result:
<a href='http://www.google.com' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Google link.</a>

 

[zeebee1]

Joined: 30-January 11

That doesn't look like 1911 to me.

 

[transphenomenal]

Joined: 30-January 11

That doesn't look like 1911 to me.

That looks exactly what 1911 would look like.

 

[zeebee1]

1, 30, 11. How do you get 1911 from that?

 

[ringlhach]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

 

[Chavo]

Maybe he's posting from alternate reality?

 

[The Notorious SMP]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

 

[goldenarms]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

 

[WizardOne]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

stfu newfag.

 

[raedric]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Everything is taken seriously in sarcastic undertones in an effort to troll your joke. Good job feeding them.

 

[The Notorious SMP]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

That sounds...ominous...
So, I found some new funny quotes:

"I'm dying," Hidan whispered, completely in shock. "I can see heavenà"

"That's the light bulb you're looking at, jackass," Kakuzu retorted, bending down and hooking his arms beneath Hidan's, lifting him into a sitting position. Hidan slumped back against Kakuzu's knees, head lolling listlessly onto his shoulder as his hands moved to clutch at his stomach again.

"Hell," Hidan moaned, as Kakuzu stooped and grabbed his wrists, dragging him backwards into the adjoining bathroom. "Rot in hell, Kakuzuàyou and your fucking Chinese food."

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3173975/1/Ad_Nauseam' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Ad Nauseam</a>

Water dripped in the underground tunnels beneath Konoha. An Anbu operative knelt before Danzo respectfully.

"Report."

"It has been twenty-six days and the leaders of RAMEN are showing no signs that they intend to give up on their campaign to have the banishment of Uzumaki Naruto lifted. Haruno Sakura seemed particularly happy when I queried about what new fundraisers she had planned for after the carnival ended."

"Good work. You may remove your mask."

The operative did as he was commanded (he knew that it was not a suggestion like it sounded) and watched at the look of barely contained rage that appeared on Danzo's face.

"What is that?"

"Haruno Sakura explained to me that it was a common event to have your face painted at carnivals. All support reading I have since done of the subject has confirmed this fact. Is it in fact incorrect?"

His leader's fist clenched and stalked away without saying a word, knowing that if he took any other action it would result in the loss of one of his best operatives who had managed to infiltrate Hatake Kakashi's team.

Sai, still kneeling, looked at his reflection in a puddle from the leaks in confusion. He did not see anything wrong with the face paint. In fact Danzo was the only one who had had a negative reaction to it.

In the puddle, his face painted like a Dalmatian's (a black path over his eye and tongue lolling down his chin) gazed back with equal confusion.

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6229259/1/Jumping_on_the_Bandwagon_27_Days' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Jumping on the Bandwagon: 27 Days</a>

 

[Azrael]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

stfu newfag.

I was under the impression anything not from 06 was a newfag.

 

[dariuspeak]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

stfu newfag.

I was under the impression anything not from 06 was a newfag.

So you are also a newfag?

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

stfu newfag.

I was under the impression anything not from 06 was a newfag.

So you are also a newfag?

Most of us are..

 

[Juopunumies]

That's such an annoying term, and you're using it wrong. You also shouldn't take Azrael's impression as a fact.

 

[Azrael]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

stfu newfag.

I was under the impression anything not from 06 was a newfag.

So you are also a newfag?

Yes, if my impression is right, I am.

 

[tigros40208]

Lots of fuzzy math and being dropped on the head a few times?

Jeez. I work for the government, and I find that one hard to justify. Especially since I'm pretty sure the board didn't exist in 1911. Or computers, but hey, what's a minor detail like that?

It's callled a joke, of course I didn't sign up in 1911. Admittedly it wasn't very funny, if I'd known you'd all take it this seriously I never would have posted it.

Oh, you're very new, then.

You'll learn in time. Oh, yes, you will learn...

stfu newfag.

I was under the impression anything not from 06 was a newfag.

So you are also a newfag?

Yes, if my impression is right, I am.

I thought anything after 05 put you into that category?

 

[Ninsaneja]

If you weren't reading fanfics in 1973, you are a newfag.

 

[zeebee1]

Fanfiction is timeless. Just look at the Bible. Only the first edition counts as original fiction.

 

[Azrael]

"Seriously though, you're the seal expert here," Kakashi said. "What do you need us to do?"

Naruto looked up at him from under his eyelashes to see if he was really serious. It appeared he was.

"Well," Naruto hesitated, nervous now that they all were looking at him. "What would really help? If you could somehow figure out how big the reservoir needs to be, and start digging it."

"Sure," Kakashi agreed easily. So as Naruto pulled out his giant scroll filled with inscrutably obscure notes, Kakashi sat down for some calculations of his own. As he wrote out all of the information he had on the spring thaw, he noted Sasuke idly sharpening and cleaning his kunai and shuriken and Sakuraà hovering over his shoulder.

"Carry the three, Kakashi-sensei," she said patiently. He looked down at his equation and realized she was right. A few seconds later, she spoke up again.

"You forgot an 'X' Kaka-sensei," she corrected him. Kakashi grit his teeth and added the 'X' where she'd pointedùafter looking back over his work for a few moments and seeing she was right. Again.

"Kaka-sensei, you need to factor it toà"

Kakashi tossed the scroll at her and plopped down next to Sasuke.

"So," he said. "You come up with a way to make me feel inadequate and completely superfluous today, too?"

"Well," Sasuke said, never looking away from his kunai. "I could show you my two Sharingan eyes if you really want."

Then Sasuke was falling ass over teakettle into a stack of sandbags, and Kakashi was stretching out like a cat on top of the large pile, Icha Icha Paradise in hand as he proceeded to ignore his entire team.

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6694302/1/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Naruto Myoushuu no Fuuin</a>

 

[Azrael]

"Art is a blast!" Deidara said with great vigour, "My explosions are a true art; true art only lasts for a few moments, but you'll remember it for the rest of your life!"

"Kind of like a stillbirth?" Naruto offered.

"Yeah! Kind of like... a..." Deidara started, trailing off and glaring at the blond, "Man, fuck you."

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5145400/5/Whats_New_Naruto' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>What's New Naruto Chapter 5</a>

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

"Art is a blast!" Deidara said with great vigour, "My explosions are a true art; true art only lasts for a few moments, but you'll remember it for the rest of your life!"

"Kind of like a stillbirth?" Naruto offered.

"Yeah! Kind of like... a..." Deidara started, trailing off and glaring at the blond, "Man, fuck you."

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5145400/5/Whats_New_Naruto' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>What's New Naruto Chapter 5</a>

I've seen that quote before.. Still funny though :snigger: :snigger:

 

[Azrael]

Zabuza's Last request by BellyfishBlues

"Hey... Kid..." Zabuza chokes out, "... take me to Haku, would you?" The missing-nin grunts, less of a request and more of a demand - but as he bleeds out on the cold cement bridge, the tough-as-nails man shows a hint of humanity and Naruto can't find it in himself to deny the request. Weak as he is he manages to drag Zabuza the thirty feet to Haku's slowly cooling body, he can't find the energy to be annoyed about all the blood on his jumpsuit.

Naruto tries to gently lay Zabuza to the ground but he drops the man hard, grinning sheepishly as the man scowls up at him. But he doesn't hold the glare for long, turning to grimace at Haku with the last of his life. He sighs and rests his head on the ground.

"I always loved you Haku... even if I never admitted it -" he pauses and groans, growing paler and paler with every moment, "Haku... you're up there aren't you?" He looks up at the cold blue sky with the smallest hint of envy, "You always were too innocent... of course you're there..."

He shudders and turns to face his apprentice once more. "...I don't think we'll meet where I'm going."

He sighs. "... Hey, kid."

"Hm?" Naruto starts, uncomfortable at being drawn into the moment. "...What's up?"

"There's something in my pocket... I ... I want you to have it..." He says heavily and Naruto swears he can see the last of Zabuza's life leaving his eyes. He acts quickly, dropping to his knees and reaching into the mans pants pocket; he doesn't know what he's expecting, but he assumes it's deeply personal.

As it turns out he grabs an oddly warm fistful of man-meat.

"That's... for call- for calling me... eyebrowless... you stupid... **... ugh..." Zabuza dies, and Naruto almost weeps.

"... This world wasn't good enough for you." he says thickly, and as he closes the mans eyelids with his fingers he knows deep in his chest that nothing will ever be as awesome as this dead man before him.

He pays his respects and stands, shooting a tired glance at Kakashi.

"...Let's get the ** out of here. I need to wash my hand."

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

Zabuza's Last request by BellyfishBlues

"Hey... Kid..." Zabuza chokes out, "... take me to Haku, would you?" The missing-nin grunts, less of a request and more of a demand - but as he bleeds out on the cold cement bridge, the tough-as-nails man shows a hint of humanity and Naruto can't find it in himself to deny the request. Weak as he is he manages to drag Zabuza the thirty feet to Haku's slowly cooling body, he can't find the energy to be annoyed about all the blood on his jumpsuit.

Naruto tries to gently lay Zabuza to the ground but he drops the man hard, grinning sheepishly as the man scowls up at him. But he doesn't hold the glare for long, turning to grimace at Haku with the last of his life. He sighs and rests his head on the ground.

"I always loved you Haku... even if I never admitted it -" he pauses and groans, growing paler and paler with every moment, "Haku... you're up there aren't you?" He looks up at the cold blue sky with the smallest hint of envy, "You always were too innocent... of course you're there..."

He shudders and turns to face his apprentice once more. "...I don't think we'll meet where I'm going."

He sighs. "... Hey, kid."

"Hm?" Naruto starts, uncomfortable at being drawn into the moment. "...What's up?"

"There's something in my pocket... I ... I want you to have it..." He says heavily and Naruto swears he can see the last of Zabuza's life leaving his eyes. He acts quickly, dropping to his knees and reaching into the mans pants pocket; he doesn't know what he's expecting, but he assumes it's deeply personal.

As it turns out he grabs an oddly warm fistful of man-meat.

"That's... for call- for calling me... eyebrowless... you stupid... **... ugh..." Zabuza dies, and Naruto almost weeps.

"... This world wasn't good enough for you." he says thickly, and as he closes the mans eyelids with his fingers he knows deep in his chest that nothing will ever be as awesome as this dead man before him.

He pays his respects and stands, shooting a tired glance at Kakashi.

"...Let's get the ** out of here. I need to wash my hand."

Zabuza doesn't get enough awesomeness in fanfics...

 

[Roxas2]

"Alright, and finally its your turn...you...I can't pick a nickname." Kakashi shiftily looked away, although he indicated with his index finger.

"Me? Why I'm Uzumaki Naruto! The king of flame! The master of embers! The great shinobi of the land of fire, sent from the very heavens to incinerate those who would oppose me on my divine path of righteous justice!" Naruto struck a figurative pose against the setting sun. It was truly poetic.

"Really?" Kakashi asked only half interested.

"Well, no. I do like to burn things...and I like ramen I guess. As for things I wanna do, I'm kinda leaning towards maybe becoming the Hokage. Or a noodle vendor, I don't know. I'll see how this shinobi thing pans out first." Everyone present sweat-dropped at the frantic change of mood.

From <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4779886/2/Pyromaniac_Uzumaki_Naruto' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Pyromaniac: Uzumaki Naruto!</a>

Yeah, I know its a nercro but this quote had me grinning like a loon.