Hellmouth Looping
- Thread starter Prince Charon
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ôWhat in the world?ö muttered Giles as he walked into the library and saw the various stacks of objects that hadnÆt been there the day before.
ôHey Giles,ö said the young man that had decided to help Buffy as he poked his head up from one of the stacks. ôSorry for making a mess, but IÆm doing some spring cleaning and needed a quiet place to organize things.ö
ôUm, yes, it was Alexander wasnÆt it?ö asked Giles as he tried to remember everything he could about the person his Slayer described as the nut job who brings flame throwers into night clubs.
ôCall me Xander, after all this time being called Alexander, or even Alex, doesnÆt feel right. You can call me Lex if I decide to shave my head and try to take over the world again though,ö said Xander before he once again retreated behind a stack, muttering something about unkillable Canadian super soldiers spoiling all his fun.
ôVery well Xander, may I ask what all of this is?ö
ôJust stuff that IÆve been collecting ever sense I learned to form a sub-space pocket. To tell you the truth itÆs been so long that IÆve probably forgotten some of the things I have in here, hence the spring cleaning.ö
ôSo what is this then?ö asked Giles as he picked up a small box.
ôAntimatter bullets, they blow up Hellgods real good,ö said Xander as a smile blossomed on his face. All the while Xander was thinking that he really should do more to thank Hermione for those then simply capturing Angel and Spike every hundred loops or so and sending them to her to be experimented on.
ôDear God,ö whispered Giles as he very carefully put down the box. While not his area of expertise he had read enough scientific journals to know how dangerous such an item would be.
ôYeah, thatÆs the WMD pile; you may want to stay away from that.ö
ôAnd this pile over here?ö
ôThatÆs the pile of stuff IÆm not sure how to categorize, so IÆm just going to call it the WTF pile,ö said Xander as he tossed the fourth duLac cross into the pile that contained the useful magical items that werenÆt weapons.
ôTake that for instance,ö said Xander as he pointed at the red and white ball sitting on top of the pile. ôIÆm not really sure what that cutethulhu will look like, and honestly I donÆt want to know.ö
ôAre you trying to tell me that you have Cthulhu imprisoned inside this small sphere?ö asked Giles in a highly skeptic voice.
ôCutethulhu Giles, thereÆs a big difference. A cutethulhu is what I call the unholy products of a tentacle monster named Jack, and pokemon. Honestly IÆd be willing to leave them outside the pocket universe to be erased, but the science types like them so I just trade them for gadgets every now and then.ö
ôTentacle monster?ö asked Giles as his brain tried to latch onto the only part of the explanation he understood.
ôItÆs my base summons. Apparently some Loopers like myself have a particular creature they summon if they make even the slightest mistake in a summoning ritual. A guy named Ranma gets Godzilla, and I get a tentacle monster that I decided to name Jack.ö
ôBecause Richard would be too obvious I suppose.ö
ôAnd because Bob is too over used,ö said Xander as he put a broken Phoenix Gate in the failed to break the loop pile. He really should just let it disappear when the loop reset, but it reminded him of the consequences of trying to break a loop.
Starting a futanari loop right after the infamous love spell had been completed was a lesson that should never be forgotten, no matter how much his brain wanted to suppress that loop.
ôJust what are you?ö asked Giles as he recognized several rare tomes in a stack of books Xander was making.
ôLike I said, IÆm Xander. IÆm everything that Willow remembers with a few more years added on for seasoning due to being stuck in a time loop where I repeat the same seven to eight years over and over again.ö
ôAnd just why should I believe that?ö
ôWell I could mention the mark on your arm from when you and your friends decided it would be a good idea to get high off of a demon summoning, or maybe IÆd mention the time that you woke up in college with a hangover and a sore ass with no memory of the past three days, but I wonÆt. What I will do is give you this,ö said Xander as he handed Giles a sheet of notes. ôThis is a list of what Buffy will have to face this year, and how to stop most of it before it becomes a big problem. Now you can believe I can come up with this because IÆm looping and have gone through this before, or you can believe that IÆm some kind of seer, it really doesnÆt matter so long as you get me before June 2nd.ö
ôAnd what will you be doing all year then?ö
ôLike I said, spring cleaning. After all when your sub-space pocket is the size of Manhattan, these things take time,ö said Xander right before he pulled a wand he thought he had lost during a Hogwarts Loop. ôWell that and pulling petty pranks on Snyder for my own amusement. After all, all work and no play makes Xander blow up buildings until the FBI comes to investigate.ö
ôEr, yes, quite,ö said Giles as he slowly backed away from the powerful and quite possibly insane magic user.
Suddenly that rule about how a Slayer shouldnÆt get close to anyone was becoming much more clear.
ôHey Giles,ö said the young man that had decided to help Buffy as he poked his head up from one of the stacks. ôSorry for making a mess, but IÆm doing some spring cleaning and needed a quiet place to organize things.ö
ôUm, yes, it was Alexander wasnÆt it?ö asked Giles as he tried to remember everything he could about the person his Slayer described as the nut job who brings flame throwers into night clubs.
ôCall me Xander, after all this time being called Alexander, or even Alex, doesnÆt feel right. You can call me Lex if I decide to shave my head and try to take over the world again though,ö said Xander before he once again retreated behind a stack, muttering something about unkillable Canadian super soldiers spoiling all his fun.
ôVery well Xander, may I ask what all of this is?ö
ôJust stuff that IÆve been collecting ever sense I learned to form a sub-space pocket. To tell you the truth itÆs been so long that IÆve probably forgotten some of the things I have in here, hence the spring cleaning.ö
ôSo what is this then?ö asked Giles as he picked up a small box.
ôAntimatter bullets, they blow up Hellgods real good,ö said Xander as a smile blossomed on his face. All the while Xander was thinking that he really should do more to thank Hermione for those then simply capturing Angel and Spike every hundred loops or so and sending them to her to be experimented on.
ôDear God,ö whispered Giles as he very carefully put down the box. While not his area of expertise he had read enough scientific journals to know how dangerous such an item would be.
ôYeah, thatÆs the WMD pile; you may want to stay away from that.ö
ôAnd this pile over here?ö
ôThatÆs the pile of stuff IÆm not sure how to categorize, so IÆm just going to call it the WTF pile,ö said Xander as he tossed the fourth duLac cross into the pile that contained the useful magical items that werenÆt weapons.
ôTake that for instance,ö said Xander as he pointed at the red and white ball sitting on top of the pile. ôIÆm not really sure what that cutethulhu will look like, and honestly I donÆt want to know.ö
ôAre you trying to tell me that you have Cthulhu imprisoned inside this small sphere?ö asked Giles in a highly skeptic voice.
ôCutethulhu Giles, thereÆs a big difference. A cutethulhu is what I call the unholy products of a tentacle monster named Jack, and pokemon. Honestly IÆd be willing to leave them outside the pocket universe to be erased, but the science types like them so I just trade them for gadgets every now and then.ö
ôTentacle monster?ö asked Giles as his brain tried to latch onto the only part of the explanation he understood.
ôItÆs my base summons. Apparently some Loopers like myself have a particular creature they summon if they make even the slightest mistake in a summoning ritual. A guy named Ranma gets Godzilla, and I get a tentacle monster that I decided to name Jack.ö
ôBecause Richard would be too obvious I suppose.ö
ôAnd because Bob is too over used,ö said Xander as he put a broken Phoenix Gate in the failed to break the loop pile. He really should just let it disappear when the loop reset, but it reminded him of the consequences of trying to break a loop.
Starting a futanari loop right after the infamous love spell had been completed was a lesson that should never be forgotten, no matter how much his brain wanted to suppress that loop.
ôJust what are you?ö asked Giles as he recognized several rare tomes in a stack of books Xander was making.
ôLike I said, IÆm Xander. IÆm everything that Willow remembers with a few more years added on for seasoning due to being stuck in a time loop where I repeat the same seven to eight years over and over again.ö
ôAnd just why should I believe that?ö
ôWell I could mention the mark on your arm from when you and your friends decided it would be a good idea to get high off of a demon summoning, or maybe IÆd mention the time that you woke up in college with a hangover and a sore ass with no memory of the past three days, but I wonÆt. What I will do is give you this,ö said Xander as he handed Giles a sheet of notes. ôThis is a list of what Buffy will have to face this year, and how to stop most of it before it becomes a big problem. Now you can believe I can come up with this because IÆm looping and have gone through this before, or you can believe that IÆm some kind of seer, it really doesnÆt matter so long as you get me before June 2nd.ö
ôAnd what will you be doing all year then?ö
ôLike I said, spring cleaning. After all when your sub-space pocket is the size of Manhattan, these things take time,ö said Xander right before he pulled a wand he thought he had lost during a Hogwarts Loop. ôWell that and pulling petty pranks on Snyder for my own amusement. After all, all work and no play makes Xander blow up buildings until the FBI comes to investigate.ö
ôEr, yes, quite,ö said Giles as he slowly backed away from the powerful and quite possibly insane magic user.
Suddenly that rule about how a Slayer shouldnÆt get close to anyone was becoming much more clear.
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sworded said:
Dragonhulk said:
randombugger said:
Heh, nice. Lacks boom. 
Xander blinked a few times as time reset, and when he didnÆt feel the pain in his stomach and groin from hitting the hand rail he knew that either something very good or something really bad happened.
ôHave you finally accepted your fate Harris?ö asked a pale boy with long black hair, and bulging white eyes.
Once Xander saw him memories came flooding in. This was a fused loop in NarutoÆs universe, but instead of taking the place of Naruto, Sakura, or Sasuke he had taken the place of Rock Lee the only ninja in the entire village that couldnÆt use any special techniques.
He had apparently arrived at the point where he had just challenged Neij to a fight. Now in the original timeline Lee probably got his butt handed to him if previous fights were anything to go by, so there was probably a reason for Neij to be so confidant.
Unfortunately for the fate obsessed genin Xander had made a hobby of turning pale, brooding pretty boys into little more than broken, twitching shadows of their former selves.
ôI will defeat your fate with the power of my youth! Behold!ö cried out Xander as he pulled out his favorite shirt from his subspace pocket and put it on quicker than any eye could follow thanks to LeeÆs speed. ôWith this Super Neon Hawaiian print shirt my youth is increased a hundred fold!ö
Neji looked at the shirt for a couple of seconds before he began to twitch, and a couple seconds after that he was on the ground foaming at the mouth.
ôMY EYES!ö screamed Tenten as she turned her head away from the painful clash of colors.
Xander simply smiled as he took this all in. Apparently it didnÆt matter what universe you were in, the power of the Hawaiian shirt was absolute.
ôHave you finally accepted your fate Harris?ö asked a pale boy with long black hair, and bulging white eyes.
Once Xander saw him memories came flooding in. This was a fused loop in NarutoÆs universe, but instead of taking the place of Naruto, Sakura, or Sasuke he had taken the place of Rock Lee the only ninja in the entire village that couldnÆt use any special techniques.
He had apparently arrived at the point where he had just challenged Neij to a fight. Now in the original timeline Lee probably got his butt handed to him if previous fights were anything to go by, so there was probably a reason for Neij to be so confidant.
Unfortunately for the fate obsessed genin Xander had made a hobby of turning pale, brooding pretty boys into little more than broken, twitching shadows of their former selves.
ôI will defeat your fate with the power of my youth! Behold!ö cried out Xander as he pulled out his favorite shirt from his subspace pocket and put it on quicker than any eye could follow thanks to LeeÆs speed. ôWith this Super Neon Hawaiian print shirt my youth is increased a hundred fold!ö
Neji looked at the shirt for a couple of seconds before he began to twitch, and a couple seconds after that he was on the ground foaming at the mouth.
ôMY EYES!ö screamed Tenten as she turned her head away from the painful clash of colors.
Xander simply smiled as he took this all in. Apparently it didnÆt matter what universe you were in, the power of the Hawaiian shirt was absolute.
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Xander looked at the devastated waist land that had once been a forest. It went beyond simple destruction and looked like the earth itself had tried to commit suicide.
ôOkay so maybe performing dance moves I learned from watching boy bands on MTV while earth bending was a bad idea,ö said Xander as he turned around and faced the only living creatures within ten miles.
Aang fought down a twitch and wondered if Ranma had ever had to deal with a student like this.
It didnÆt help the AvatarÆs disposition one bit that not five feet away Toph was on the ground laughing her head off, and saying something about divine retribution between gasps of breath.
ôOkay so maybe performing dance moves I learned from watching boy bands on MTV while earth bending was a bad idea,ö said Xander as he turned around and faced the only living creatures within ten miles.
Aang fought down a twitch and wondered if Ranma had ever had to deal with a student like this.
It didnÆt help the AvatarÆs disposition one bit that not five feet away Toph was on the ground laughing her head off, and saying something about divine retribution between gasps of breath.
Giles sat in the school library drinking tea and trying to calm his mind. After his confrontation with Ethan during Halloween he had been on edge, images of a past life and old regrets dancing in his mind.
So given his current state of mind Giles could be forgiven for letting the teacup fall from his hands and onto his lap when he saw what appeared to be a three foot tall clone of Xander Harris running through the halls and laughing like a child that had been given far too much candy.
A few moments later a full sized Xander Harris came running down the halls carrying a large axe, and paused when he saw Giles through the open doors.
ôHey Giles, IÆve run into a slight problem with the Shadow Clone technique, but donÆt worry I have it under control,ö said Xander right before they both heard a distinctive buzz. ôUh-oh, looks like junior got to the chainsaw in the grounds keeping closet. Talk to you later Giles, gotta run.ö
Giles waited a few heartbeats before making his way towards a very special section of the library, and taking out the small flask of brandy he had hidden there.
He wasnÆt an alcoholic or anything of the sort, despite what some would say about his little habit. The simple truth was that every now and then he got a headache and a shot or two now and then helped him manage it.
The fact that the headache was often named Xander Harris was never pointed. It was one of those simple facts of life that no one remarked on because it was so blindingly obvious to everyone, like the sky being blue, or ice being cold.
Taking a sip and closing his eyes, Giles let the elixir work its magic. A few moments later his headache was gone, and he felt that some form of calm had been restored to the universe.
It was, of course, at this moment that a horde of miniature XanderÆs ran through the halls, followed closely by a large stream of fire.
ôApparently because I absorbed that starfish spirit chopping them up is a bad idea,ö said Xander as he let loose another carefully controlled burst of fire with his flamethrower. ôFire seems to still work though, so weÆre good.ö
As soon as Xander was out of eyesight Giles closed and locked the doors to the library, and started to drink the contents of his flask as if it was simply water.
ôForget past sins coming back to haunt me, itÆs Xander Bloody Harris thatÆs going to be the death of me,ö said Giles as he slumped to the floor and drank until sweet oblivion took him.
So given his current state of mind Giles could be forgiven for letting the teacup fall from his hands and onto his lap when he saw what appeared to be a three foot tall clone of Xander Harris running through the halls and laughing like a child that had been given far too much candy.
A few moments later a full sized Xander Harris came running down the halls carrying a large axe, and paused when he saw Giles through the open doors.
ôHey Giles, IÆve run into a slight problem with the Shadow Clone technique, but donÆt worry I have it under control,ö said Xander right before they both heard a distinctive buzz. ôUh-oh, looks like junior got to the chainsaw in the grounds keeping closet. Talk to you later Giles, gotta run.ö
Giles waited a few heartbeats before making his way towards a very special section of the library, and taking out the small flask of brandy he had hidden there.
He wasnÆt an alcoholic or anything of the sort, despite what some would say about his little habit. The simple truth was that every now and then he got a headache and a shot or two now and then helped him manage it.
The fact that the headache was often named Xander Harris was never pointed. It was one of those simple facts of life that no one remarked on because it was so blindingly obvious to everyone, like the sky being blue, or ice being cold.
Taking a sip and closing his eyes, Giles let the elixir work its magic. A few moments later his headache was gone, and he felt that some form of calm had been restored to the universe.
It was, of course, at this moment that a horde of miniature XanderÆs ran through the halls, followed closely by a large stream of fire.
ôApparently because I absorbed that starfish spirit chopping them up is a bad idea,ö said Xander as he let loose another carefully controlled burst of fire with his flamethrower. ôFire seems to still work though, so weÆre good.ö
As soon as Xander was out of eyesight Giles closed and locked the doors to the library, and started to drink the contents of his flask as if it was simply water.
ôForget past sins coming back to haunt me, itÆs Xander Bloody Harris thatÆs going to be the death of me,ö said Giles as he slumped to the floor and drank until sweet oblivion took him.
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I'm sorry if this sucks, but it's the best I could do, and I couldn't/wouldn't let the idea get away from me...
*phone ringing*
Giles: Hello?
Xander: G-Man!
Giles: Xander, Where are you? We haven't seen or heard from you in 2 weeks? You just disappeared..
Xander: *sounds kinda nervous* Yeah..Uh... I kinda got drunk and decided to go on a road trip..
Giles: Xander *sighs* you got drunk and left without telling anyone, in the middle of the school year, despite you only being 17? Why on Earth did you do that?
Xander: Uhmm... That's not really important.. Cause I don't know... The thing, G-man, is that I kinda..
Giles: *sounding annoyed* You kinda what?
Xander: I may have, kinda, sorta, maybe conquered Cuba...
Giles: ....
Xander: G-Man? You there?
*phone ringing*
Giles: Hello?
Xander: G-Man!
Giles: Xander, Where are you? We haven't seen or heard from you in 2 weeks? You just disappeared..
Xander: *sounds kinda nervous* Yeah..Uh... I kinda got drunk and decided to go on a road trip..
Giles: Xander *sighs* you got drunk and left without telling anyone, in the middle of the school year, despite you only being 17? Why on Earth did you do that?
Xander: Uhmm... That's not really important.. Cause I don't know... The thing, G-man, is that I kinda..
Giles: *sounding annoyed* You kinda what?
Xander: I may have, kinda, sorta, maybe conquered Cuba...
Giles: ....
Xander: G-Man? You there?
crazyfoxdemon said:
Thanks... I tried my best... but I'm not the best writer out there