ôWhat in the world?ö muttered Giles as he walked into the library and saw the various stacks of objects that hadnÆt been there the day before.
ôHey Giles,ö said the young man that had decided to help Buffy as he poked his head up from one of the stacks. ôSorry for making a mess, but IÆm doing some spring cleaning and needed a quiet place to organize things.ö
ôUm, yes, it was Alexander wasnÆt it?ö asked Giles as he tried to remember everything he could about the person his Slayer described as the nut job who brings flame throwers into night clubs.
ôCall me Xander, after all this time being called Alexander, or even Alex, doesnÆt feel right. You can call me Lex if I decide to shave my head and try to take over the world again though,ö said Xander before he once again retreated behind a stack, muttering something about unkillable Canadian super soldiers spoiling all his fun.
ôVery well Xander, may I ask what all of this is?ö
ôJust stuff that IÆve been collecting ever sense I learned to form a sub-space pocket. To tell you the truth itÆs been so long that IÆve probably forgotten some of the things I have in here, hence the spring cleaning.ö
ôSo what is this then?ö asked Giles as he picked up a small box.
ôAntimatter bullets, they blow up Hellgods real good,ö said Xander as a smile blossomed on his face. All the while Xander was thinking that he really should do more to thank Hermione for those then simply capturing Angel and Spike every hundred loops or so and sending them to her to be experimented on.
ôDear God,ö whispered Giles as he very carefully put down the box. While not his area of expertise he had read enough scientific journals to know how dangerous such an item would be.
ôYeah, thatÆs the WMD pile; you may want to stay away from that.ö
ôAnd this pile over here?ö
ôThatÆs the pile of stuff IÆm not sure how to categorize, so IÆm just going to call it the WTF pile,ö said Xander as he tossed the fourth duLac cross into the pile that contained the useful magical items that werenÆt weapons.
ôTake that for instance,ö said Xander as he pointed at the red and white ball sitting on top of the pile. ôIÆm not really sure what that cutethulhu will look like, and honestly I donÆt want to know.ö
ôAre you trying to tell me that you have Cthulhu imprisoned inside this small sphere?ö asked Giles in a highly skeptic voice.
ôCutethulhu Giles, thereÆs a big difference. A cutethulhu is what I call the unholy products of a tentacle monster named Jack, and pokemon. Honestly IÆd be willing to leave them outside the pocket universe to be erased, but the science types like them so I just trade them for gadgets every now and then.ö
ôTentacle monster?ö asked Giles as his brain tried to latch onto the only part of the explanation he understood.
ôItÆs my base summons. Apparently some Loopers like myself have a particular creature they summon if they make even the slightest mistake in a summoning ritual. A guy named Ranma gets Godzilla, and I get a tentacle monster that I decided to name Jack.ö
ôBecause Richard would be too obvious I suppose.ö
ôAnd because Bob is too over used,ö said Xander as he put a broken Phoenix Gate in the failed to break the loop pile. He really should just let it disappear when the loop reset, but it reminded him of the consequences of trying to break a loop.
Starting a futanari loop right after the infamous love spell had been completed was a lesson that should never be forgotten, no matter how much his brain wanted to suppress that loop.
ôJust what are you?ö asked Giles as he recognized several rare tomes in a stack of books Xander was making.
ôLike I said, IÆm Xander. IÆm everything that Willow remembers with a few more years added on for seasoning due to being stuck in a time loop where I repeat the same seven to eight years over and over again.ö
ôAnd just why should I believe that?ö
ôWell I could mention the mark on your arm from when you and your friends decided it would be a good idea to get high off of a demon summoning, or maybe IÆd mention the time that you woke up in college with a hangover and a sore ass with no memory of the past three days, but I wonÆt. What I will do is give you this,ö said Xander as he handed Giles a sheet of notes. ôThis is a list of what Buffy will have to face this year, and how to stop most of it before it becomes a big problem. Now you can believe I can come up with this because IÆm looping and have gone through this before, or you can believe that IÆm some kind of seer, it really doesnÆt matter so long as you get me before June 2nd.ö
ôAnd what will you be doing all year then?ö
ôLike I said, spring cleaning. After all when your sub-space pocket is the size of Manhattan, these things take time,ö said Xander right before he pulled a wand he thought he had lost during a Hogwarts Loop. ôWell that and pulling petty pranks on Snyder for my own amusement. After all, all work and no play makes Xander blow up buildings until the FBI comes to investigate.ö
ôEr, yes, quite,ö said Giles as he slowly backed away from the powerful and quite possibly insane magic user.
Suddenly that rule about how a Slayer shouldnÆt get close to anyone was becoming much more clear.