Since Vesvius hasn't touched this thread in nearly six years, aaaaaand it's a week until the thirtieth anniversary of the greatest spectacle in Sports Entertainment, I feel the very strong urge to contribute. Been a long time since I posted writing, or posted period. Still, I plan to make the most of it by trying to post one or two snippets each day up to Wrestlemania. It also doesn't follow Vesvius' stated headcanon earlier in the thread. Oh, well. The show must go on, as they say.
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After Naruto had trounced the Sound Spidernin with one of his many personas(and Neji's help), the rescue team had moved on sans Hyuuga branch member. Neji had declared himself to be the one best suited to escort the captive back to Konoha, as Naruto was the only other member of the team that could break Kidomaru's webbing, and the blond needed to conserve his strength.
Catching up to the Otonin was easier with less people, and they were soon greeted by the grey haired sickly looking nin. His purple lips were curved in a creepy grin.
"You Konoha trash aren't going anywhere." The Otonin stated matter of factly.
Naruto growled in frustration. "Dammit, we don't have time for more goons."
Kiba stepped forward. "Let's triple team him! You, me, and Akamaru! It'll make things quicker." His grin was positively feral, while the ninken growled at his feet.
The grin soon slid off Kiba's face, as the Otonin sprouted another head from his shoulder which spoke.
"I think you'll find that harder than you assume. We need to finish this quickly, Sakon. We don't want to fail and upset Orochimaru-sama." The second head growled commandingly.
Sakon turned to his brother. "Come on, Ukon, don't be so hasty. I wanna toy with them a little before we kill them all." Exasperation clearly evident his voice.
"No. We don't have time. We need to succeed for Kimmimaro-sama and Orochimaru-sama." Ukon argued back. "Now let's-"
His command was cut off as the screaming of a set of fireworks filled the air and a set of pyros lit off towards where the Konoha nin once stood.
Get up Get up Get uuuuuupp Get up Get up Get up Drop the Bombshell
As the music blared throughout the forest Sakon and Ukon were met with the strange sight of Naruto, Kiba, and Akamaru transformed before their eyes(for Shikamaru was hiding in the trees to pick his spot if needed.)
Naruto was a tall portly man in camo printed clothing and a blond buzzcut wearing some cokebottle glasses. Kiba was now black as a cloud nin, also fat and clothed in camo print, with a bald head and wearing the same glasses. Akamaru finished out the ensemble transformed into a scrawny blond white nin clad in a black sleeveless shirt and camo pants.
Shikamaru watched the surprise flare across the brothers faces before they rapidly spit apart and jumped to their second level of curse seal. Their oni-like appearance was unsettling to the shadow user who was bunkering in to his hiding spot for the long haul.
...Until his hiding spot suddenly became an announce table with two Naruto clones transformed into Good Ol' JR and The King, much to his shock and subsequent chagrin.
"Oh my god, JR! It' Team 3D!" King exclaimed loudly, causing the Nara teen to stick his pinky in his ear and try to clear the ringing out.
"That's right, King. Team 3D is here and they look ready to kick some ass. With us here today is special guest commentator, Nara Shikamaru. Shikamaru, your thoughts on this match?" JR turned to the Nara, who stared blankly back before sighing.
"This way too troublesome." He replied, shaking his head.
"That it is, Shikamaru." JR stated, totally missing the Nara's point."Team 3D is one of the best tag teams in history. These Otonin are gonna be hard pressed to beat these men here today. You can see it in their eyes."
The three transformed Konoha nin quickly went to work on the two enemy shinobi, who were at a loss at how to counter the rough knuckle style the three opponents used.
"These guys are getting manhandled, JR!" King declared. "They should just give up now."
"That doesn't look likely, as they start to make a comeback!" JR called, with the Sound shinobi starting to fight back, with one of them jumping into Naruto. "My god, King! That's sickening! He's fused with Naruto."
Naruto's pained gurgles were soon counter-acted by Kiba kicking him in the balls, as the Sound nin jumped out screaming bloody murder and holding his crotch. As Naruto dropped to his knees cupping his own jewels, the screaming nin fell on his back.
"How in the hell did that work, JR?!" King cried, causing Shikamaru to stick his pinky in his ear again. It also brought his ire up enough to actually comment on the matter.
"When they were fused, they were sharing Naruto's body. Which meant they would feel the same pain." The shadow user stated, a slight edge in his voice as he glared tiredly at King.
"That's makes sense, Shikamaru. Kiba and Naruto are pretty close. Almost like brothers, and Kiba had to have sensed what his partner needed." JR claimed with a nod of his head, wide brimmed hat dipping low.
While Akamaru got his second wind and went to town on the other brother, Naruto crawled over to the downed enemy nin and pinned his arms with his knees, taking his opponents legs and pulling them up and apart.
Kiba, as if by instinct had climbed on top of the highest point he could find, and flung himself headfirst into the Sound nin's crotch. It was as if to add insult to injury for the first time, and the nin could only wimper.
"Ooh, that's gotta hurt, King. Like rubbing salt in the wound, Team 3D is dominating this bout. Makes you wonder what Orochimaru is thinking, sending such unseasoned competitors against world class shinobi like Team 3D." JR exclaimed.
"I dunno, JR, but it looks like Akamaru is just destroying the other Sound Nin. Which one is that, Sakon? Ukon? I can't tell em apart, JR!" King babbled, causing Shikamaru to snort.
"That's Sakon. His horn is on the left, Ukon's is on the right." Shikamaru threw in, yawning disinterestedly.
"Right you are, Shikamaru and it looks like the fight is winding down, as Team 3D is picking themselves up while the opposition lays dazed. Can they capitalize?" JR monologued.
It was at this point that Naruto turned to look at his old academy friend. "Kiba!"
The boy's black head snapped towards Naruto, whose wild eyed look put a sadistic smile on his face. "Get the tables?"
Naruto nodded emphatically. "GET THE TABLES!"
The mighty war cry was met with the scrambling of the three Leaf nin, looking for the aforementioned dinner surface receptacle.
"Oh my, King. I think that Team 3D might be getting extreme here tonight!" JR called, as the three Leaf shinobi came back with foldout office tables(don't ask where they got them).
As the three nin set up several tables, the Sound nin began to stir. Ukon was the first to his feet, and as he was still wracked with pain in his family jewels he failed to notice Kiba until it was too late.
The ebony skinned shinobi had lifted him up by his knees over a conveniently placed table as Naruto leaped up and grabbed the Sound nin by the neck. The blond proceeded to let gravity do the rest as all three bodies came down, with Ukon breaking the table and his neck upon landing. Ukon reverted to his normal state as his head lolled sickeningly.
"Kami Almighty, what an impact! The Delinquent Death Drop, King!" JR cried, causing Shikamaru to have to clear his other ear.
"It's one of the most devastating combos out there, JR. Add in a table, and you've got a recipe for broken bodies!" King declared.
"And look here, King! Akamaru getting him some!" JR exclaimed, pointing towards Akamaru. The transformed ninken had gotten Sakon in a headlock.
The ninken then proceeded to run towards a tree and use it as a springboard to swing around and lead Sakon into a Facebuster through another table. The Sound nin reverted back to his normal state and did not get back up.
"And that's all she wrote, King." JR stated, turning to his broadcast partner. "What a match. I never thought I'd see the day when Team 3D came to our neck of the woods."
"Me too, JR. I was especially excited about the part where-" Shikamaru dispelled the two clones with impunity for putting him through that when he could have been napping while the testosterone twins and their dog pounded on the opposition. He was intrigued that Kiba and Akamaru got roped into Naruto's transformation, but then he remembered that Kin chick from his match with Garra at the Chunin Exams, and deemed it as only slightly still interesting.
As he left his hiding spot that wasn't, he came upon the now normal looking trio as Naruto and Kiba fist bumped and acted like retards. "When you're done with your bromance, we need to decide who gets to carry the garbage back to Konoha. We're pretty strapped for time."
Kiba grinned and crouched down to pat Akamaru on the head. "We'll do it. You guys go ahead."
They other two ninja nodded and went to leave before Kiba called out to Naruto. When the blond turned was met with an outstreched hand. "Thanks for letting me in on the crazy persona thing. It was a rush."
Naruto blinked at Kiba a couple times before smiling brightly and grabbing his hand, shaking it furiously."
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Aaaaaaannnnd scene. Now I need to get some sleep so I can take my wife and buddy to work in the morning. Then it's laundry at my moms and WWE Network and writing more snippets all day on my day off.
RockLeeTheAwesome out.