Alright, people. I'm currently on Vacation, which means I really have nothing to do. So I took some time out of my busy, busy schedule and knocked together a snippit I've been promising for a while.
WARNING: This is definitly not my best work. I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things.
WARNING: The following snippit is RATED R.
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ôFirst Match of the Second Round of the Chunin Exams!ö Genma called. ôSabaku no Gaara vs. Uzumaki Naruto!ö He did a quick scan of the arena, which was usually just a tradition. After all, who would dare miss their match and the automatic exam failure that came with it? Well, besides Uchiha Sasuke, but he didnÆt count. But this timeà ôWhere the hell is Uzumaki Naruto!?ö Genma yelled. HeÆd be damned if this happened twice on his first year as exam proctor!
ôAlright!ö Genma yelled, coming up with a plan on the spot. ôIf Uzumaki Naruto is not in the arena at the count of ten, he will be disqualified, and will automatically fail the chunin exams! One!ö He paused for a moment, then yelled out ôTwo!ö As the chant continued, members of the audience began joining in. Before Genma reached five, the entire audience had begun chanting in unison.
ôSix!ö Genma and the crowd roared. Still, no Uzumaki Naruto.
ôSeven!ö Over Two Thousand roared in unison. No Uzumaki Naruto.
ôEigh-ö Before the crowd could finish the number, two Naruto clones seemed to fall out of the sky. With the eager eyes of over two thousand people on them, they slapped down two flat objects on the ground in front of the entrance tunnel. As those two clones vanished, there was a brief crackle of static over the loudspeakers as something else was plugged into them. Anticipation filled the air, as everyone leaned forwards on their seats to get a better look at the entrance area. Then the silence was shattered, as five words came out of the loudspeakers.
ôYou Think You Know Me.ö
A hard drum tempo filled the air, rising to a crescendo before breaking off, and being replaced by power chords of an electric guitar. Two powerful plumes of smoke shot out from the two objects that had been placed on the ground by the clones, and they merged into a smokescreen. A second later, Uzumaki Naruto stepped through it. Once again, he was bedecked in an outfit never before seen in the elemental countries except by the rare shinobi who had a satellite dish.
His pants, or tights as he preferred to call them, were stretched skintight against his lower body. They were bright red, with occasional white stars on them. Right over his crotch, an area quite a few of the younger female shinobi were staring at, was emblazoned the letter R. But NarutoÆs outfit didnÆt stop there. No, he was wearing a long trench coat, black with metal studs. On his face was a large pair of wrap-around sunglasses, a new invention in the elemental countries.
But the oddness didnÆt stop there, for Naruto wasnÆt alone. No, by his side was Kin, who no longer had any headband visible. Gone was her Oto Shinobi garb, replaced by a pair of low slung jeans with her tiger-stripped underwear sticking up out of them and a T-Shirt so tight she might have had to paint it on that was emblazoned with the phrase ôSex & Violenceö.
As the astonished shinobi watched, mouths hanging open, Naruto held out his hand. With a smirk, Kin grabbed on and twirled in until she was pressed up against the Wrestling Ninja. Her tongue darted out of her mouth, meeting NarutoÆs already extended tongue in a passionate struggle that more resembled two snakes fighting then any loving kiss. Half of the assembled shinobi looked on with shock, while the other half immediately began cheering for the newly bedecked Naruto. Kiba stood up on the balcony, all anger at the whole æMr. NarutoÆ thing forgotten, and began pumping his arm in the air. ôYou go, Naruto!ö he screamed. ôYou da man!ö
The music slowly tapered off as Naruto stopped directly across from Gaara. He shrugged off his coat into the hands of an eager Kin. She stepped back to the arena wall and leaned up against it. When she showed no sign of moving further, Genma shot her a look. A defiant glare answered him, and he opened his mouth. ôMiss, you have to leave the arena to give the fighters room.ö
ôIÆm with him.ö Was her response.
ôMiss, if you donÆt leave the arena floor, Uzumaki Naruto will be disqualified for outside interference.ö
With a huff, Kin channeled a tiny amount of chakra into her feet and walked up the wall to an empty seat.
ôAlright.ö Genma sighed, rubbing his head. Were the chunin exams always such a big headache? ôNow that both contestants are finally here, weÆll begin. Sabaku no Gaara vs. Uzumaki Naruto. Fight!ö
The final syllable had barely left the proctors mouth before Naruto was in motion. The judges, most of whom had already made up their minds about the young blondeÆs promotion, looked on in various degrees of awe as the self-proclaimed æSmackdown ShinobiÆ moved so fast he became a red blur. NarutoÆs initial strike was blocked by GaaraÆs hastily assembled shield of sand, as were his follow up strikes.
A frown broke out on GaaraÆs face. æThis wasà not in my calculations.Æ he allowed himself to think before redoubling his shielding. After all, the only things he had prepared for the possibility of fighting this surprising ninja were a pair of ear plugs. But then again, that was more then Gaara usually prepared for anything.
If he had been moving slower, the people in the audience would have seen the wicked grin cross NarutoÆs face. He skidded to a stop a distance from Gaara before turning his head towards Kin. ôKin!ö he yelled. ôChair me!ö The raven-haired kunoichi bent over (a motion which received much attention from the various men in the arena) and produced a small piece of paper from her shoe. With a flick of her wrist, it was sent sailing down towards the arena floor, where it turned into a steel folding chair.
Genma turned to glare at Kin, who responded with a look of innocence that wouldnÆt have looked out of place on a puppy. ôI technically didnÆt do anything illegal.ö she practically purred. ôHe did it all and gave them to me for safe keeping. ItÆs not my fault that the wind happened to take it out of my hand.ö Genma groaned before turning back to face the action.
Naruto had grabbed the chair, and he lobbed it at Gaara. Sure enough, the sand rose to meet the incoming projectile. With a flicker, Naruto vanished before reappearing right in front of Gaara. A kick to the gut doubled the vessel over, and Naruto grabbed him in a front face lock. Naruto let out a grunt of effort as he lifted Gaara off the ground by his head and drove him into the ground, skull first.
Up in the audience, Kin chuckled. æHe actually did it!Æ she thought. æI didnÆt think that DDT thing of his would actually work!Æ Her smile quickly turned into a small frown. æThat means I lose the betà eh.Æ The smile came back, in full force. æI was planning on showing him that anyway!Æ
A barked order distracted her from her suddenly lecherous thoughts. Her head snapped up from where it had been staring at her lap to see that Naruto was looking at her again. ôKin!ö he ordered. ôLadder!ö Another smirk crossed KinÆs face as she reached into her cleavage for another sealed weapon. This time, the floating paper warped and twisted into a ten foot tall steel ladder.
Slowly, as if he had no cares in the world, Naruto walked over to where the ladder had fallen. Never letting up on his whistling, he grabbled the ladder and carried it back to where Gaara still lay prone. In a few quick motions, the ladder was set up. Naruto began climbing slowly. As he got higher and higher, the crowd noise began to pick up. By the time he stood on the top of the ladder, the crowd was roaring in approval.
The ground began rumbling as Gaara slowly got to his feet. A looks of pure death was sent up towards the still-cocky shinobi. Glaring, GaaraÆs chakra began gathering sand underneath him. With a scream of rage, a pillar of sand formed under Gaara, propelling him to the same height as his opponent. But once he had gotten to the same height as Naruto on his ladder, he seemed to have regained his customary calm. ôIs there anything you wish to state before you are crushed?ö he asked in his usual monotone. As he spoke, his sand began swirling around Naruto, just waiting for the command.
There was nothing forthcoming from Naruto except another wicked grin. That was all the warning the sand nin received before Naruto did the last thing anyone expected: launching off the top of the ladder! Garra had time to let out one surprised squeak before Naruto caught him in a shoulder tackle. Led by Kin, the entire crowd yelled ôSPEAR! SPEAR!ö
With a meaty thud, the two impacted the ground. Naruto reared back for a brief second, a stunned look on his face, before falling over. Gaara never twitched. The minutes slowly ticked by with neither combatant stirring. Just as the crowd began to get antsy, Naruto began to slowly climb to his feet. Soon enough he was once again standing, though he was swaying alarmingly. He shot another look to Kin, who didnÆt even wait for his command before fishing a final seal out from her waistband. Soon enough, a second chair was flying through the air.
With a quick motion, a chair was underneath GaaraÆs head with the second in NarutoÆs hands. With his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets and an insane scream, Naruto raised the chair over his head.
ôConchairto!ö Kin screamed as Naruto brought the chair crashing down on GaaraÆs skull.
Naruto threw the chair off to the side and looked up at Kin. Kin sighed and looked over at Genma. Genma groaned and looked down at Gaara. Gaara drooled and looked like he was really, really unconscious.
ôWinner: Uzumaki Naruto!ö
Naruto stood proudly and raised both of his hands in the universal symbol for rocking on. Kin jumped down and molded herself to him, and in the background, fireworks exploded.
Genma groaned again. æNext time Hokage-sama tells me to proctor a chunin exam IÆm telling him to fuck himself.Æ
He's always been my favourite wrestler.