Harry Potter Magical Time Loops

[fitzgerald]

Harry Potter hummed a little ditty as he watched Voldemort's resurrection for the umpteenth dozen time. He just loved it when a plan came together

Sure it had taken him personally centuries of studying sciences ranging the basics of engineering or chemistry to the very esoteric and exotic.

Not to mention the trillions of dollars and almost uncountable hours of R&D.

It had been a goal worth striving for, a goal that had kept his sanity partially intact and his mind sharp in an effort to stave off boredom outside of the always amusing fused loops.

"My robe," Voldemort commanded moments after stepping out of the cauldron.

Pettigrew complied as best he could with only one hand, the other being a bleeding stump.

Now dressed, something Harry was personally grateful for ~ naked Dark Lords were just plain wrong; Dark Ladies on the otherhand..... ~ Voldemort turned toward Harry and begin his usual spiel.

This was Harry's cue to jump in.

"Hey Voldemort," Harry taunted the rather inhuman figure twenty meters away from him. "Three words for you: Death From Above."

Voldemort paused in momentary confusion at that, he had been expecting far different reaction from the Boy-Who-Lived than that.

It was a moment Voldemort would never get back, or at least get in this loop, as Harry's message became clear with an earth shattering impact.


BOOM

Harry, his ears ringing from the sound of the impact, gazed up with pride at the mechanical giant in front of him.

Towering over the grave yard was an Atlas (AS7-J to be precise) Battlemech in all it's titanic technological glory, the moonlight gleaming off the golden death's head of the fearsome Assault class mech.

An Atlas which had just successfully pulled of a DOA attack on Voldemort.

 

[Garahs]

Doesn't make sense, you say? :jawdrop: I was unaware that the Wizarding World ever made sense. :no:

Ok, I guess I can see a spell that only works by casting it on the basilisk's eyes wouldn't be a widely used or known spell. I can even see it being made illegal because of some dark parselmouth wizard trying some extremely messed up plan with basilisks that probably backfired. I'm still sceptical about it though.

The fact that you mention it being an easy charm that even Neville could cast is saying anyone could pull off the charm successfully as long as they had a wand.

I'd like to mention though that I don't remember anything in the wizarding world really topping things in the normal world. Not when there are laws on the books about pet alligators needing to be kept on leashes and you're not allowed to talk passengers in an elevator.

 

[kuopiofi]

Ok, I guess I can see a spell that only works by casting it on the basilisk's eyes wouldn't be a widely used or known spell.

Actually, he never said on who's eyes that spell is cast, so if it's use on humans instead of the basilisk... hey, looking it indirectly (didn't Creevey look it through camera? directly?) turned the fatal stare into petrification. Bit of fiddling could very well result a spell that allows the user ignore the effects of basilisk stare while still keeping it very lethal.

Come to think about that, that could be the reason why it is considered dark magic: only someone who already has basilisk (or at least knows where to find one) would realistically be expected to use it and for all others the beast is as lethal as usual.

 

[mandalorianjedi]

This year was an irregularity.

First, many in the Wizarding World, Wizarding Britain especially, was buzzing with anticipation.

Harry Potter was going to start his schooling, more specifically, Hogwarts.

Of course being Harry Potter something had to be unusual. Most people found it disconcerting that when coming to Hogwarts he seemed rather bored. He did not hold the first time wonder held by those first years. It was almost as if he had seen it all before.

Another irregularity, was the lack of excitement from the Sorting Hat. The hat was typically a cheerful object, but this year it hadn't been the case. It spouted out it's song in a lackluster manner, and then began sorting each student lazily. It was actually begining to put people to sleep with a monotone voice that almost seemed to make Binns sound exciting.

Although watching Draco Malfoy's tirade after he was placed in Hufflepuff was rather amusing to watch. The glares he was currently receiving after he lost their House nearly 100 points promised pain.

Of course the reason why he only lost NEARLY a hundred points didn't help him out any, as the Headmaster awarded Draco 5 points for losing a record amount of points immediately after being sorted.

Finally, it came to the name many were waiting for.

"Potter, Harry!" called out the Deputy Headmistress.

"Did she say Harry Potter?"

"Harry Potter..."

"... Potter..."

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes and resigned himself to get sorted once more.

'Hello, Potter...' the Sorting Hat boredly said.

'Wotcher Hat...' Harry sighed.

'It's been a while since you've come back here, what are your plans for this loop?' the Hat asked conversationally. 'It's been rather boring without your usual mayhem around here.'

'Well... I haven't gone the Dark Lord route yet...' Harry contemplated, 'What do you think, Hat?'

'Could be interesting...' replied the Hat, 'You know, after all these loops, you've never asked what my name is.'

'Do you even have a name?' asked Harry incredulously.

'No, but that's besides the point, HP,' the Hat argued.

Harry chuckled as he rolled his eyes and shook his head, much to the bafflement of the others in the Great Hall.

'You know, we should probablly get me Sorted...' Harry said he he heard whispers from around the Great Hall. 'Which House should I be this time?'

'I could sort you into your own House,' suggested that Hat. 'And then give you your own Harem.'

'Tempting, but we did that the last two times,' replied Harry in deep thought. 'Besides, you've already sorted Daph, Sue, and 'Mione. We could always go the Gryffie route. No one would expect a Dark Lord from that house.'

'If you want inconspicuous, you might want to go the 'Puff route,' the Hat suggested another option.

'True... Of course we could always mess with their minds and put me in Slytherin,' Harry countered.

'Ah, but remember all the crap Severus put you through last time we tried that?' the Hat reminded Harry, 'Not to mention Dumbledore kept an awfully close eye on you. What about Ravenclaw? I did put the Granger girl there this time around.'

'It's always the quiet ones...' thought Harry in rememberance with a lecherous grin that was VERY out of place on an eleven year old.

'You do realize she's only eleven, right?' the Hat interjected.

Harry scowled. 'You're a real bastard sometimes, you know that, right?'

'And the frisky went away,' stated the Hat smugly.

'Of course she won't always be eleven...' replied Harry in an attempt to brighten his mood and feel like less of a pedophile.

'Whatever you tell yourself so you can sleep after you wank at night,' the Hat retorted.

'And here I was, considering taking you with me when I take over the world,' said Harry, 'But it looks like yet another loop where you'll have to do nothing but sit there collect dust inside the...'

'All right, all right! I get the point!' snapped the Hat, who then mumbled something about direspectful, looping dark lord wannabes. 'I'll let you off the hook this time. I was right the first time we did this. You'd have done very well in Slytherin.'

'Now, now, no need to get your brim in a twist,' Harry placated the Hat. 'I'd say put me in Hufflepuff with Daph and Hannah, but you already put the amazing bouncing ferret there and I don't want him kissing my ass to be my friend this time around. Do you want to place another wager on whether or not Ron will make a bigger fuss than Draco when you put him in Slytherin again this time.'

'No bet.' said the Hat, 'Not only does that get old after a while, but you always win that one. How about how long it takes either his housemates or his brothers to make him snap completely?'

'Stakes?' inquired Harry.

'If I win, I get my own harem when you become the new Dark Lord,' stated the Hat.

Harry quirked an eyebrow. 'No to put a damper on your side of the bet, but how would that work? I mean you don't exactly have a...'

'Who say's I don't?' asked the Hat smugly.

Harry's eyes widened at the implication. The Hat began to laugh hysterically until Harry ripped the Hat off his head screaming obsenities and stomping it into the ground before finally taking a seat at the Ravenclaw Table. He shuddered as he took as seat and then mentally cursed himself as he noticed his new Housemates giving him a wide birth.

"So much for not being unstable this time around..." he mumbled aggravated at himself. He lost 50 points for his outburst, but got 10 points for the most inventive string of obsenities heard in Hogwarts.

Of course the night capped off with Ronald Weasley being the first Weasley to not only NOT be sorted in Gryffindor, but ended up in Slytherin. He lost a whopping 125 points, but won back 30 points for losing more even more points than Malfoy and more creative use of obscenities than Harry.

He even had the Twins taking note at one point.

And thus began the scholastic career of the newest and, with luck, most fearsome Dark Lord in History. Harry Potter.

But that is another story...

 

[perfect_solider]

:lol:

 

[DhampyrX2]

I have to continue on that theme, MDJ. If only to satisfy a looping Snape's curiosity about what could disgust and disturb Harry so badly.



Harry actually lingered a bit until he was the last out of the room after his first day of Potions to bait Snape. It had become a bit of a tradition between the pair, as well as proof that Snape seemed to loop with him every time, with the exception of some fused loops where only Harry, or Harry and random members of his generation, ended up in an alternate universe and were replaced here by another person.

In fact, Toshiro Hitsugaya, who replaced Malfoy for a loop, still fondly remembered Snape's help in killing Ichimaru Gin, who had replaced professor Quirrel one loop. And Meio Setsuna actually considered the spymaster to be one of her few close friends after all these years, mostly because he actually managed to drink her under the table one loop. But those are stories for another time.

"Do I even want to know what made you shout like that, Potter, or should I be satisfied with the number of issues I'm already saddled with?" Snape asked with with no preamble.

"The Hat loops too," Harry said with a shiver if disgust.

"Or at least it claims to, it DOES read your mind when it's placed on your head, Harry. You might be unwittingly updating it every time you loop back this far," Snape suggested as he wondered what had Harry looking so pale.

"Whatever," Harry replied dismissively, not really caring how the Hat knew that it knew.

"Either way, we were talking about a bet over Ron when he ended up in Slytherin and the Hat wanted it's own harem after I was grown if it won," Harry started to explain.

"Ah, you learned that the Hat is 'fully functional,'"Snape commented.

Harry just gaped at his mother's childhood friend for a full minute in open-mouthed shock before he asked, "Why would you even know that?"

"I'm a master spy Harry, it's my job to know things like that. Besides what do you think finally pushed Riddle the rest of the way over the edge?" Snape replied with a grin.

"Oh god, you don't mean?" Harry asked in fright.

"Or so Riddle claimed, anyway. As mental as he is it's hard to take it a face value, but it does put a whole new dimension to the phrase 'mind fuck' doesn't it?" Snape replied with a shrug, followed by a smile as Harry started to retch violently.

 

[DOA40]

Thought I would try my hand at this. I doubt I'll do this thing any justice, but I figured "What the hell."

@--}---

Harry was bored. . . .

It's not suprising really that he would be. After all, one can only go so many loops before it happened. You can only kill people in so many different ways before the novelty wears off and you just let them have their way. Or sleep with various girls in different Houses before you want to spend a loop as one of those grizzly old gurus that live on mountain tops.

Which is what had led to his latest, and probably stupidest, idea to date. . . .

You see, through all of the loops that Harry had been in (and there had been many), he had never once done anything to his best female friend and smartest girl in the world, Hermione Granger. He had held her in a kind of reverance that one would hold a god if they still walked amongst us. After all, he was still lived in fear of what had happened when Sakura had ended up in his world and turned Hermione to the yaoi side.

So, he had decided early on in this loop, that he would have a little fun with Hermione in this loop just to see what would happen. He had had it all planned out. He would dangle a bit of forbidden information that he had learned from all the loops he had spent reading in the Restricted Section of Hogwarts Library and challenge her to learn it before he would give her any more. He knew that her sense of curiosity wouldn't allow her to turn down such a challenge.

After all, how bad could it be for Hermione to get a little bit of forbidden knowledge. . . .

@--}---

Several years later. . . .

"Okay, that was a very bad idea." Harry thought to himself sullenly, from where he was chained to his mistress' throne. "I promise that if I get out of this loop with my sanity intact, I'm never messing with Hermione ever again."

He knew now that giving Hermione any kind of forbidden information was a very, very, very bad thing. After learning the spell that Harry had taught her, she had proceeded to learn other forbidden spells. Going so far as to sneak into the Forbidden Section of the Hogwarts Library to learn more. By the time that they had graduated from Hogwarts, the seeds had been planted and before the wizards and witches of the world could blink, the Dark Lady Granger had taken over all of Europe and most of the world as well.

It had been rather amusing to see Hermione fire a Reducto curse right up Malfoy's ass during their third year and it would probably be one of his most treasured memories from these loops. It hadn't been so amusing when she turned him into her personal sex slave and kept him chained up to her throne, dressed only in a black leather thong. Even now, as she sat on her throne and surveyed her subjects, she ran her toes teasingly up and down the front of his thong. It was always the smart girls that were the most sexually kinky.

"Yep, definitely never doing this again."

@--}---

And just for the shits and giggles to keep everyone from being so disturbed by that last piece. . . .

@--}---

When Harry opened his eyes and looked up to find Sakura Haruno staring down at him, it was quite understandable when he screaming like a little girl, shot up from a laying position, threw Hermione over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and ran like the hounds of hell were after him.

"What the hell was that all about?" Sakura asked in genuine confusion, as Harry soon became a dot in the distance.

"I have no idea." Naruto replied, trying desperately to keep from falling to the floor and laughing his head off.

 

[SotF]

He was tiring of dealing with the wizarding world.

Idiots could only amuse him for so long before he decided to try something very different.

In hindsight, he figured that perhaps it was a good thing that most wizards and witches had barely the intelligence of a chimp after a lobotomy, because if one of those fools had tried what he had done, well, he would not want to deal with the aftermath.

Apparition was the key, well, that and the Imperious.

Two easy tools in taking control of the entire planet.

It had taken merely an hour to set it up, and left him in hell for the entire ride of the Express.

The sky flashed through the faux skyline of the great hall and he laughed.

"Hello, Hogwarts and all," he stated while using a portkey to pop up to the other end of the room, after all, theatrics were perfect for making an impression upon these people, "That was the first sign of the doom that has come."

Yep, taking control of every single nuclear weapon on the planet was easy to do when you decided to leave little things like ethics behind for a loop.

"And the fact that every single world ruler has just become ground zero for their own personal nuclear Armageddon."

Yep, Dumbledores eyes seemed to be growing to the size of footballs.

And a glance at his watch told him that he was running out of time as the last of the first line of portkeys would have been in place.

"And now, to take control of the entire planet," he added with a bow and triggered the portkeys that had themselves been portkeyed into place taking out those that had managed to annoy him along the past several loops.

The last bomb was over the ocean, and a perfect place to annihilate those pests.

Picking up the hat with a grin, perhaps the thing would tell him which house the first member of his harem would come from.

 

[Innortal]

Harry sighed. So it was another Loop. It wasnÆt like he could spot anyone he knew at the moment. That meant no Ranma, no Narutoùwhich thankfully always included Anko, no Bleachùwhich meant no 50s transfigured Orihime as a robot attacking everything, no Evangelion pilots.

Yes, just a Loop by himself. He had already tested his friends and discovered that for the first time in a long while, he was the only one awake. Yes, this was going to be a nice Loop to unwind. Yes, this was the perfect time for a nice à relaxing à vacation.

That was of course until Professor McGonagall called a name he had only heard in those manga Ranma and Shinji always carried with them.

ôMido, Miko!ö yelled the professor, as a small blue-haired girl walked forward.

ôWell,ö murmured Harry, trying to find a bright side in this newest incarnation of hell, ôat least I donÆt have a Jusenkyo Curse.ö

That reminded him, he really, really needed to personally thank Ranma for that. Bad enough he resembled his mother with his fatherÆs eyes in his girl form, but somehow, a drunken Snape always found him.







For those who don't know, Miko Mido is a character from La Blue Girl.

 

[mandalorianjedi]

DhampyrX2: It's "M2J".

------------------------------------------------------

Harry groggily woke up, noticing that something was different. His flat looked different for some reason. He penthouse was now a middleclass single roomed studio, where the bedroom, living room and kitchen were almost all a single room.

He had the essentials and a few 'luxury' items; electricity, running water, a television.

'Odd... When I loop back I'm usually either at or going to Hogwarts...' he thought to himself. He decided he'd figure it out later, for now he was going to have breakfast.

He opened up the refridgerator to find an odd sight. The only thing in there was half a carton of expired milk.

Harry frowned. 'I have a bad feeling about this...'

With trepidation, Harry closed the fridge and opened a nearby cupboard only to find...

Ramen.

Lots of it.

A full cupboard of it.

"Oh, HELL no!" he shouted. He slapped his head to his forhead and noticed two things.

First, much to his eternal joy, his scar was gone.

Second, much to his eternal horror, he was wearing a cap. A black sleeping cap with a face on it.

Tearing it off his head, he ran to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror.

As he confirmed earlier, the scar was gone, but that didn't mean he didn't have some other mark that would set him apart from others on his face. Or rather, six marks.

Still, despite his depressing plight, he did see one silver lining in the stormy cloud that was his new life.

"At least I'm not that Uchiha-bastard..." shuddering at the thought of having to avoid dozens upon dozens of fangirls daily.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he guessed he was about 12 years old, meaning he would probablly be graduating from the academy soon.

"I wonder if that Hinata girl has a crush on me in this loop?"

She might be twelve now, but Harry had seen her when she grew up and he had heard from Naruto just exactly how kinky she could be. Before Harry could formulate a plan to hook up with Hinata in a few years another presence made itself known.

"You know brat, I just think you like them young..." said the voice.

Harry's eyes widened as he recognized the voice and began looking around the apartment.

"Hat?"

"One and the same, though I guess you could call me Kyuubi," The 'Sorting Hat' snickered, as if holding back a hysterical bout of full blown laughter.

Harry groaned in disappointment. So much for an enjoyable vacation from the norm.

At that thought, the "Sorting Hat", a.k.a. Kyuubi, let out a whole torrent of laughter that could only be heard by Harry.

 

[Innortal]

We are all going to hell.

 

[Ryuujinn]

But it'll be a fun ride, don't you think?

 

[Coelacanth]

Been there, done that, got my complementary plastic cup. It's actually pretty warm there.

 

[perfect_solider]

so the sorting hat has nine.....now? ^_^ :evil2:

 

[nixofcyzerra]

Innortal, I'm not an expert on la blue girl, but I'm assuming Harry's despair isn't just from Miko, but the fact that the shikima are along for the ride?

I mean, sex-ninja. Is that really such a bad thing?

 

[DOA40]

We are all going to hell.

Not me. They're too afraid I'll take over. :evil:

 

[Deathwings]

Hell is overrated anyway. :lol:

 

[Serxeid]

Now, a little village up the coast? That is scary. :lol:

 

[DhampyrX2]

M2J my apologies.

Hmmm, if the Hat is sealed in Harry as the Kyuubi, does that mean Sayuri or Bitch!Kyuubi is acting as the Sorting Hat at Hogwarts?

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

I'm sorry but I gotta ask....What is with the crossovers???

 

[NeverwhereCM]

I'm sorry but I gotta ask....What is with the crossovers???

...For all the Naruto in your sig, you don't get into the Naruto sub-forum here much, do you?

 

[mandalorianjedi]

I'm sorry but I gotta ask....What is with the crossovers???

...For all the Naruto in your sig, you don't get into the Naruto sub-forum here much, do you?

Though it did take longer for us to do the X-Over angle in the Naruto Loop Thread. I just couldn't help it though.

 

[NeverwhereCM]

I'm sorry but I gotta ask....What is with the crossovers???

...For all the Naruto in your sig, you don't get into the Naruto sub-forum here much, do you?

Though it did take longer for us to do the X-Over angle in the Naruto Loop Thread. I just couldn't help it though.

True enough, but these other threads are like the bastard children of the original thread. The lines have already been crossed, and all that's left is to see if any of them grow up to be something we can be proud of.

 

[Prince Charon]

M2J my apologies.

Hmmm, if the Hat is sealed in Harry as the Kyuubi, does that mean Sayuri or Bitch!Kyuubi is acting as the Sorting Hat at Hogwarts?

That could be hilarious.

 

[Liberus]

M2J my apologies.?

Hmmm, if the Hat is sealed in Harry as the Kyuubi, does that mean Sayuri or Bitch!Kyuubi is acting as the Sorting Hat at Hogwarts?

That could be hilarious.

More kinky than hilarious me thinks....... you would have to put your "head" inside her.........