Naruto New Intros
- Thread starter Innortal
- Start date
I can't believe I didn't get in on this sooner!
- - -
"Hello, my name is Uzumaki Naruto," the blonde ninja said, wearing a strange kind of smile. Kakashi wasn't quite sure what to make of the boy. Since the beginning of the meeting he'd been kind of reserved, nothing like the loudmouth frequently seen tearing through the streets.
And that weapon of his... A giant key?
"I like ramen, all of my friends, blowing stuff up and flying," Naruto continued. He glowered at Sasuke. "I dislike arrogant assholes who take off on their own and don't accept help, even from their friends..."
Sasuke glared back in partial confusion.
"Selfish people, lazy people who can't let go of the past, megalomaniacs, and people who just can't accept that they can be themselves and that's just fine," Naruto continued, gaze sliding to Sakura. The pink haired girl blushed despite herself and glared back indignantly. Naruto sighed, and then smiled again, tapping his weapon on the ground.
"My hobbies...? Flying, training, gardening, and generally making an ass of myself while having fun. And my goals...?"
Naruto looked Kakashi right in the eyes, and Kakashi frowned beneath his mask, unsure of the strange depth within. As though Naruto was looking right inside of him...
"Save the universe... Save my friends... And have a place to go back home to."
- - - -
"Hey! I'm Doctor Naruto Uzumaki! Feel free to call me Doctor Uzumaki though," the blonde in the black jumpsuit stated, grinning and handing out business cards to the rest of his dumbfounded team.
"I like blowing stuff up, making money, women and never buying on margin. Good investment tip, by the way," Naruto added. "My hobbies include psychology, parapsychology, paranormal investigation and elimination, research, blowing stuff up, learning new ways to blow stuff up, and of course business... Though that's not so much a hobby as a basic necessity," Naruto went on.
"My goals are to build myself a Ghostbusting franchise, though I'll do some therapy on the side... Lord knows that's a fertile market around here... Become rich, have a harem, have loads of children with loving wives, and save the world. Good for business."
Naruto turned and smirked at the gawking Sasuke. "Beat that, emo boy![/i]
- - -
"Hello, my name is Uzumaki Naruto," the blonde ninja said, wearing a strange kind of smile. Kakashi wasn't quite sure what to make of the boy. Since the beginning of the meeting he'd been kind of reserved, nothing like the loudmouth frequently seen tearing through the streets.
And that weapon of his... A giant key?
"I like ramen, all of my friends, blowing stuff up and flying," Naruto continued. He glowered at Sasuke. "I dislike arrogant assholes who take off on their own and don't accept help, even from their friends..."
Sasuke glared back in partial confusion.
"Selfish people, lazy people who can't let go of the past, megalomaniacs, and people who just can't accept that they can be themselves and that's just fine," Naruto continued, gaze sliding to Sakura. The pink haired girl blushed despite herself and glared back indignantly. Naruto sighed, and then smiled again, tapping his weapon on the ground.
"My hobbies...? Flying, training, gardening, and generally making an ass of myself while having fun. And my goals...?"
Naruto looked Kakashi right in the eyes, and Kakashi frowned beneath his mask, unsure of the strange depth within. As though Naruto was looking right inside of him...
"Save the universe... Save my friends... And have a place to go back home to."
- - - -
"Hey! I'm Doctor Naruto Uzumaki! Feel free to call me Doctor Uzumaki though," the blonde in the black jumpsuit stated, grinning and handing out business cards to the rest of his dumbfounded team.
"I like blowing stuff up, making money, women and never buying on margin. Good investment tip, by the way," Naruto added. "My hobbies include psychology, parapsychology, paranormal investigation and elimination, research, blowing stuff up, learning new ways to blow stuff up, and of course business... Though that's not so much a hobby as a basic necessity," Naruto went on.
"My goals are to build myself a Ghostbusting franchise, though I'll do some therapy on the side... Lord knows that's a fertile market around here... Become rich, have a harem, have loads of children with loving wives, and save the world. Good for business."
Naruto turned and smirked at the gawking Sasuke. "Beat that, emo boy![/i]
I'll be honest, before he turned to Orochimaru for power I actually liked Sasuke. I thought he was going in a good direction. Then it all came crashing down.
I picked Batman mainly because he delt with the loss of his loved ones in a far better manner than Sasuke. That more than anything is what I wished Sasuke had learned. I picked Solid snake mainly because I liked the idea of him learning from a true Snake-sannin. Call it my desire to give Sasuke a better moral compass.
I picked Batman mainly because he delt with the loss of his loved ones in a far better manner than Sasuke. That more than anything is what I wished Sasuke had learned. I picked Solid snake mainly because I liked the idea of him learning from a true Snake-sannin. Call it my desire to give Sasuke a better moral compass.
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, I like my Hero Uchiha Itachi, My technique that can beat anyone with only one hand seal, my three hand seal technique that makes girls pass out in the way that makes them follow you around like a lost puppy begging for me to do it again, messing with stuck up ugly witches, and hot Hyuuga chicks. I hate people who rely entirely on their reputation, pink haired harpies, and the time to make ramen. My Dream is to become Hokage then ban all other men from being shinobi."
Kakashi had to ask, "Why ban men from being shinobi?"
Naruto smiled and replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Its part of my master plan of being surrounded by Hot babes all day even when stuck in the Hokage tower."
Kakashi had to ask, "Why ban men from being shinobi?"
Naruto smiled and replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Its part of my master plan of being surrounded by Hot babes all day even when stuck in the Hokage tower."
An interrupted intro... With another intro...
- - -
"Hi, I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I-MMPH?!!"
Kakashi felt like dropping his book. Sakura's jaw dropped and eyes bugged out. Even Sasuke looked shocked.
Yamanaka Ino, dressed in a strange yet sexy blue outfit with a broad-brimmed, yellow pointed hat was kissing the hell out of Naruto. She let the bright red and stunned blonde go, and grinned wickedly at the rest of Team 7.
"Hello, I'm Yamanaka Ino. I like Naruto-kun, magic, sex with Naruto-kun, blowing things up, and did I mention sex with Naruto-kun?" With this the witch Ino turned and glared at Sasuke and Sakura.
"I do not like small dicked, cold-hearted, arrogant bastards who make me waste my time chasing after them, or backstabbing former best friends who become my rival over said small dicked, cold-hearted, arrogant bastard. I'm not too fond of you either, lech," Ino snarled, pointing her staff at Kakashi. A flash of light and standing where Kakashi had sat was a very confused-looking dog with gray fur, a mask, and a miniature forehead protector over his eye.
Ino grinned.
"As for hobbies... Magic, flower arrangement, and sex with Naruto-kun," she announced. "Finally! My goals are, for the next ten hours, to have non-stop sex with Naruto-kun. Toodles!"
With that, Ino cackled, yanked the very shocked Naruto onto her staff, and flew off. Sasuke and Sakura just stared after her, in utter disbelief at what had happened.
Kakashi, in the meantime, was discovering the joys of being able to lick his privates. If only he could read Icha Icha Paradise at the same time!
- - -
"Hi, I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I-MMPH?!!"
Kakashi felt like dropping his book. Sakura's jaw dropped and eyes bugged out. Even Sasuke looked shocked.
Yamanaka Ino, dressed in a strange yet sexy blue outfit with a broad-brimmed, yellow pointed hat was kissing the hell out of Naruto. She let the bright red and stunned blonde go, and grinned wickedly at the rest of Team 7.
"Hello, I'm Yamanaka Ino. I like Naruto-kun, magic, sex with Naruto-kun, blowing things up, and did I mention sex with Naruto-kun?" With this the witch Ino turned and glared at Sasuke and Sakura.
"I do not like small dicked, cold-hearted, arrogant bastards who make me waste my time chasing after them, or backstabbing former best friends who become my rival over said small dicked, cold-hearted, arrogant bastard. I'm not too fond of you either, lech," Ino snarled, pointing her staff at Kakashi. A flash of light and standing where Kakashi had sat was a very confused-looking dog with gray fur, a mask, and a miniature forehead protector over his eye.
Ino grinned.
"As for hobbies... Magic, flower arrangement, and sex with Naruto-kun," she announced. "Finally! My goals are, for the next ten hours, to have non-stop sex with Naruto-kun. Toodles!"
With that, Ino cackled, yanked the very shocked Naruto onto her staff, and flew off. Sasuke and Sakura just stared after her, in utter disbelief at what had happened.
Kakashi, in the meantime, was discovering the joys of being able to lick his privates. If only he could read Icha Icha Paradise at the same time!
Someone should do a Adam!Naruto entrance. (adam from Mythbusters)
----------------------
Kakashi looked at Naruto as he stood up and went behind the post he had been leaning on and brought out a television on a cart. He hit the power button and did some fiddling with the VCR and the words 'Dirty Jobs' popped up on the screen before flashing to Naruto on screen.
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and this," he held up a headless enemy nin before throwing him into an incinerator, "is my job." What followed had Sakura about to lose her lunch, Sasuke looking on in horror of possibly doing some of the things Naruto was doing on the video, and Kakashi was laughing his ass off on the inside.
Once it was over Naruto stopped the tape and returned the TV before plopping down seemingly satisfied with his introduction.
----------------------
Kakashi looked at Naruto as he stood up and went behind the post he had been leaning on and brought out a television on a cart. He hit the power button and did some fiddling with the VCR and the words 'Dirty Jobs' popped up on the screen before flashing to Naruto on screen.
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and this," he held up a headless enemy nin before throwing him into an incinerator, "is my job." What followed had Sakura about to lose her lunch, Sasuke looking on in horror of possibly doing some of the things Naruto was doing on the video, and Kakashi was laughing his ass off on the inside.
Once it was over Naruto stopped the tape and returned the TV before plopping down seemingly satisfied with his introduction.
First, infinite kudos to AJT, that was hilarious on a level I can barely comprehend.
Second, I shall try my hand at the funny!
***************************
"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I like a fresh start, having the chance to prepare for what's coming up later, and meeting and greeting new women. I dislike the minimum age to buy condoms, having to keep everything shaved to my standards, and women who seduce me with ramen."
Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi all stopped and stared. It seemed that Naruto's preference for ramen was known, even without meeting him. At least that was constant.
"Don't get me wrong, I just meant it ruins both flavors and I'm sick that everyone thinks it's the first time anyone's ever thought of that, seriously. My dream is to finally find a way out, and use it when I have the perfect replay."
Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi stood still, not a breath shared between them, all was silent. Like they were waiting for something.
Naruto gave a heavy sigh, "I'm gonna become Hokage, Believe it."
Like the universe was wretched out of it's temporary stupor, Kakashi started, "Pinky, you're next."
Second, I shall try my hand at the funny!
***************************
"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I like a fresh start, having the chance to prepare for what's coming up later, and meeting and greeting new women. I dislike the minimum age to buy condoms, having to keep everything shaved to my standards, and women who seduce me with ramen."
Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi all stopped and stared. It seemed that Naruto's preference for ramen was known, even without meeting him. At least that was constant.
"Don't get me wrong, I just meant it ruins both flavors and I'm sick that everyone thinks it's the first time anyone's ever thought of that, seriously. My dream is to finally find a way out, and use it when I have the perfect replay."
Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi stood still, not a breath shared between them, all was silent. Like they were waiting for something.
Naruto gave a heavy sigh, "I'm gonna become Hokage, Believe it."
Like the universe was wretched out of it's temporary stupor, Kakashi started, "Pinky, you're next."
"My name is Sasuke Haruno. I like getting the fuck out of a family full of crazy nutjobs, traitors, and crazy nutjob traitors, as well as escaping family curses that makes people with an unspecified last name behave like a giant egotistical ass. I dislike it when Sakura and Ino Haruno faint after only ten orgasms in a single session. My dream is to work them up to at least twenty-five."
"...is that...pink...in your hair, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, after firmly quashing the urge to try to get his student's autograph, not to mention the urge to giggle maniacally.
"The Haruno family curse is better than the Uchiha family curse," Sasuke said firmly.
"What about the Yamana-"
"You don't want to know about the Yamanaka family curse."
Kakashi did, but decided to turn to the next student. "Sakura? ...Sakura?" Deciding to move on, since Sakura was busily occupied staring up into the sky dreamily, drool hanging out of the corner of her mouth, shrugging as he turned to Naruto.
"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like utilizing the Kage Bunshin haxx, seducing every Hyuuga woman under the age of thirty-five and over the age of ten simultaneously, as well as counting down the days until Hanabi's tenth birthday. Additionally, I like to collect rare and exceptionally pointy weapons and alternatively use them to messily stab people repeatedly, seduce Tenten, seduce Anko, or do both simultaneously. I also enjoy hitting girls pretending to be boys pretending to be girls like the fist of an angry kami. Finally, I enjoy eating ramen, especially while seducing hot ramen girls while doing so, and finding interesting things to do with noodles and broth. I dislike being mistaken for my father when I henge into an older version of myself. Except for that one time I accidentally walked into the Minato Namikaze Sex Starved Lonely Rabid and Highly Attractive Fangirls Club. Regardless of how unwieldy the name was, I can guarantee those ladies had skills that more than made up for their terrible sense of naming aesthetics. Mmm. My dream? To become Hokage! Jii-san said it's the only way I'll ever get to have sex on that awesome desk!"
About midway through Naruto's spiel, Kakashi could no longer resist, and giggled like a madman as he rolled around on the floor happily. Oh, this was going to be so much fun!
"...is that...pink...in your hair, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, after firmly quashing the urge to try to get his student's autograph, not to mention the urge to giggle maniacally.
"The Haruno family curse is better than the Uchiha family curse," Sasuke said firmly.
"What about the Yamana-"
"You don't want to know about the Yamanaka family curse."
Kakashi did, but decided to turn to the next student. "Sakura? ...Sakura?" Deciding to move on, since Sakura was busily occupied staring up into the sky dreamily, drool hanging out of the corner of her mouth, shrugging as he turned to Naruto.
"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like utilizing the Kage Bunshin haxx, seducing every Hyuuga woman under the age of thirty-five and over the age of ten simultaneously, as well as counting down the days until Hanabi's tenth birthday. Additionally, I like to collect rare and exceptionally pointy weapons and alternatively use them to messily stab people repeatedly, seduce Tenten, seduce Anko, or do both simultaneously. I also enjoy hitting girls pretending to be boys pretending to be girls like the fist of an angry kami. Finally, I enjoy eating ramen, especially while seducing hot ramen girls while doing so, and finding interesting things to do with noodles and broth. I dislike being mistaken for my father when I henge into an older version of myself. Except for that one time I accidentally walked into the Minato Namikaze Sex Starved Lonely Rabid and Highly Attractive Fangirls Club. Regardless of how unwieldy the name was, I can guarantee those ladies had skills that more than made up for their terrible sense of naming aesthetics. Mmm. My dream? To become Hokage! Jii-san said it's the only way I'll ever get to have sex on that awesome desk!"
About midway through Naruto's spiel, Kakashi could no longer resist, and giggled like a madman as he rolled around on the floor happily. Oh, this was going to be so much fun!
I've actually had that idea floating around in my head for a while.
Naruto is strapped for cash when he finds the Hokage's D ranked scroll. These are different than the D ranked scrolls in that even insane people will nt do them. They consist of fixing Konoha's sewers. Disposing of corpses, and ather such things.
Naruto gets the idea to tape it and then turn it into a TV show to make money.
Naruto is strapped for cash when he finds the Hokage's D ranked scroll. These are different than the D ranked scrolls in that even insane people will nt do them. They consist of fixing Konoha's sewers. Disposing of corpses, and ather such things.
Naruto gets the idea to tape it and then turn it into a TV show to make money.
"Hi, I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I like-"
Sakura and Kakashi watched with horror as Naruto planted a kunai in Sasuke's temple almost faster than they could see.
"Ok. Before you say anything, thats gonna save us all a lot of trouble. Anyway, I like ramen, Temari...."
--------------------------------------------
Sakura and Kakashi watched with horror as Naruto planted a kunai in Sasuke's temple almost faster than they could see.
"Ok. Before you say anything, thats gonna save us all a lot of trouble. Anyway, I like ramen, Temari...."
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I'm a little late saying this, but AJT that was awesome. :rofl: Was Ino modeled off of some character, or did you just completely make that up?
I'd ask you for to add to that, but you have so many threads going as it is that it probably isn't that likely. I still think that could be a truly awesome crackfic, even a good regular fic with a little bit of tweaking and the right follow through. :snigger:
Edit: I like Thorn's also, I think that's actually the most effective way of dealing with Sasuke in any time travel scenario.
I'd ask you for to add to that, but you have so many threads going as it is that it probably isn't that likely. I still think that could be a truly awesome crackfic, even a good regular fic with a little bit of tweaking and the right follow through. :snigger:
Edit: I like Thorn's also, I think that's actually the most effective way of dealing with Sasuke in any time travel scenario.
Basically, it's my Black Mage!Ino from Key Through the Heart, after levelling up a lot.
*sigh* If my fucking writer's block would JUST BREAK, I could write for it and have Ino do more crazy stuff like this, but noooo... Random ideas and writer's block, they go hand in hand with me.
The inspiration actually came from 8-Bit Theatre. I imagined Ino kind of like Black Mage, only still Ino. Can you imagine a better companion for Keyblader!Naruto?
*sigh* If my fucking writer's block would JUST BREAK, I could write for it and have Ino do more crazy stuff like this, but noooo... Random ideas and writer's block, they go hand in hand with me.
The inspiration actually came from 8-Bit Theatre. I imagined Ino kind of like Black Mage, only still Ino. Can you imagine a better companion for Keyblader!Naruto?
"My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I like having sex with Sasuke's mom, Having sex with Kiba's sister, Having sex with Anko and did I mention having sex with Sasuke's mom. I dislike anyone who keeps me from happy time with Sasuke's mom, Kiba's sister and Anko. My Hobbies are experimenting with new sexual positions with Sasuke's mom, Kiba's sister, and Anko. My dream for the future... Fuck Sasuke's mom, Kiba's sister, and Anko at the same time untill all three are unconscious and can't walk right for a few weeks."
