Naruto New Intros

Innortal

Well-Known Member
#51
"Now you, pinky."

Huffing a bit, Sakura smiled. "My name is Sakura Haruno. I like..." she ended, giggling as she looked at Sasuke. "I hate..." she paused, glaring at Naruto.

"I told you," said the foxy blond, "that threesome with you and Ino was a one-time thing. Deal with it."

The rooftop got very quiet after that for a moment.

"WHAT!?"

Naruto was very glad to be stuck in a time loop. Judging by Kakashi and Sasuke's shocked faces and the glowing red aura surrounding Sakura that was burning the floor, he'd be glad tomorrow that what was about to happen would all be a very painful memory.
 

B.B. Rain

Well-Known Member
#52
Innortal said:
"Now you, pinky."

Huffing a bit, Sakura smiled.? "My name is Sakura Haruno.? I like..." she ended, giggling as she looked at Sasuke.? "I hate..." she paused, glaring at Naruto.

"I told you," said the foxy blond, "that threesome with you and Ino was a one-time thing.? Deal with it."

The rooftop got very quiet after that for a moment.

"WHAT!?"

Naruto was very glad to be stuck in a time loop.? Judging by Kakashi and Sasuke's shocked faces and the glowing red aura surrounding Sakura that was burning the floor, he'd be glad tomorrow that what was about to happen would all be a very painful memory.
Eventually, smug in his loop-invulnerability, Naruto takes it too far.

He later finds the psychological conditioning (applied courtesy of Inoichi Yamanaka and Ibiki Morino (second cousin of Mrs. Haruno)) designed to cause premature ejaculation at the sight of Yaoi nigh-unreversible.

Highlight More!

This will haunt until a ten-thousand loop Kurenai/Shizune/Hinata/TenTen/Yuugao orgy-session forcibly overrides any previous sexual conditioning.

(You didn't think I'd leave a victory for the Yaoi fangirls, didja?)
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#53
Thank God. Hetero 1000, yaoi fangir'ls....most of FF.net and AFF.net...
 

Innortal

Well-Known Member
#54
The yaoi are attacking. Soon, it will be nothing but female-led harems of males. Then pokeboys.

Dear God, the horror ... the horror.
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#55
Innortal said:
The yaoi are attacking. Soon, it will be nothing but female-led harems of males. Then pokeboys.

Dear God, the horror ... the horror.
If such an atrocity were to occur....I would commit seppuku to spare myself the trauma.
 

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#56
"Namikaze Minato, fourth hokage extraordinaire, the yellow flasher, god, and bitch of Kushina. I like... tits, asses, Kushina, hot springs, strip poker, mass orgies involving me and every other hot bitch in this village. I dislike... boredom, work, paperwork, and Uchiha. Goals... well fuck; I already accomplished everything." Naruto finished with a frown.

Feeling the blank-stare by all present he sighed, "what it was a joke! Joke!" He glared back before lagging his shoulders into submission, "gah! You're a buncha pussy-wipped pansies!"

He flickered for a moment before fading into nothingness leaving the remainder of Team 7 staring at the vacant spot where he was sitting moments ago.
 
#57
We must fight it, make a stand and prevent such a horrible future from ever happening!

We can't let the Yaoi Side of Perversion gain dominion. It is our job, as the Freedom Pervs of all that is good and holy (such as Single Male, ALL-Female Harems, and girl-on-girl action) remain the focus point for all perversion.

As FanFiction's 2nd Coming and the World's Saviour from bad FanFiction, it is my vow to not let such atrocities stand unopposed.
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#58
@Timewave Zero: roflmmfao. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#60
mandalorianjedi said:
We must fight it, make a stand and prevent such a horrible future from ever happening!

We can't let the Yaoi Side of Perversion gain dominion. It is our job, as the Freedom Pervs of all that is good and holy (such as Single Male, ALL-Female Harems, and -on-girl action) remain the focus point for all perversion.

As FanFiction's 2nd Coming and the World's Saviour from bad FanFiction, it is my vow to not let such atrocities stand unopposed.
jedi-kun, I do hope you are successful. As stated earlier, I shall commit seppuku if the yaoi side of perversion should ever gain dominion. As such, I shall help in your effort.
We, the True Perverts, must unite against this abomination known as yaoi!
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
#61
Sorry can't help you with that, I just got finished dealing with the cops after the last time I ruthlessly battered a Yaoi fan fourtunatly he was a guy, as I loathe hitting woman.
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#62
I'd say that M-Preg is both disgusting and impossible, but apparently it's actually possible for a male to get pregnant. Heard on the news yesterday that a male has a womb and that he is gay and that he got pregnant....as news reporters are not allowed to spread propaganda, I'm guessing it's true.


This makes M-Preg disgusting, but not impossible. The yaoi fans have yet another point added to their list.
 
#63
@ Juubi:Are you sure you're not talking about that former Ms. Hawaii that got the sex change and is now both a 'Man' and pregnant?

*shudder*

@MastaofBitches: Just make sure he doesn't have friends that can gang up on you for sake of your... Purity... :sick: :sick:
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#64
I pray for MastaofBitches's dignity and purity. And even if the yaoi fan does have friends, they'd probably be too busy screwing each other to screw him.
 

S J C

Well-Known Member
#65
Personally I'm going out via nuclear headbut. After all if the body's intact the yaoi-necromancers can raise you as a yaoi zombie.
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#66
Oh, and jedi-kun? Apparently, the 'guy' was born with the upper half of his body being of the male gender and his lower half being of the female. Meaning he's got ovaries, a
womb, every freaking thing.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
#67
God I love living somewhere where Anime is obscure and Yaoi even more so... although there is the occasional gay that...needs to be put in there place :evil:
 
#68
Juubi said:
Oh, and jedi-kun? Apparently, the 'guy' was born with the upper half of his body being of the male gender and his lower half being of the female. Meaning he's got ovaries, a
womb, every freaking thing.
OMGWTFBBQ!?

Was he Genetically engineered by Yaoi Fangirls and boys?
 

Roxas

Well-Known Member
#69
mandalorianjedi said:
Juubi said:
Oh, and jedi-kun? Apparently, the 'guy' was born with the upper half of his body being of the male gender and his lower half being of the female. Meaning he's got ovaries, a
womb, every freaking thing.
OMGWTFBBQ!?

Was he Genetically engineered by Yaoi Fangirls and boys?
That something I really don't want to know.
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#70
No apparently he was just born that way. When I heard about it, I was like:


Me: Holy Fuc'king Shi't! I thought that was impossible! Who? What? When? Where? How?
WHY?!!!!?!?!
 

Moshulel

Well-Known Member
#71
That's a woman with a severe problem in the pheromone department. Being a man requires, you know, having the necessary equipment down there.
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#72
Moshulel said:
That's a woman with a severe problem in the pheromone department. Being a man requires, you know, having the necessary equipment down there.
If you say so. I'm just saying that 'she' literally has no working breas'ts and has a very manly face. And is 'gay'. Or is it straight. Gah, I'll try not to think on it.
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#73
Sasuke

Sasuke made a rather odd grunting sound before beginning. "I am Uchiha Sasuke. Likes are few and far between. I do respect my adoptive father, Wayne-sensei, and everything he taught me.ö Kakashi blinked and wondered at the reverence in the boyÆs voice. From what he knew Bruce Wayne was just a talented business man. ôDislikes, too many to list but among them are injustice, bastard older brothers and men who just want to see the world burn. My hobbies are pointless and my dream... no ambition is bring the enemies of Konoha to justice, and honor to my ClanÆs memory.ö

****

Sasuke grunted before beginning. "I am Uchiha Sasuke. Likes are few and far between. I do respect my guardians Snake-sensei, and Uncle Emmerich and the things they taught me.ö Kakashi titled his head as he looked at the boy, dressed appropriately for a long term mission into enemy territory. Though why he wore that bandana was beyond the copy nin. ôDislikes, too many to list but among them are bastard older brothers, manipulative assholes, and sadistic killers. My hobbies are pointless and my dream... no ambition is to live in a world where killers like me will no longer be needed.ö



Naruto

Sakura looked at the blond and tried to work out how someone dressed to kill could look soà..dashing

"My name is Uzumaki, Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen, pretty womenà.ö Here he shot Sakura a look that almost seemed to make the girl melt. ôànew toys to use on missions, and Martinis, shaken not stirred. I dislike madmen, bureaucracy, and betrayal. My hobbies are many and varied but my favorite activities require being in fine feminine company.ö Kakashi was impressed, Sakura actually was melting at the blondeÆs words. ôMy dream is to become the best ninja in the world and eventually the Hokage.ö

****

Kakashi gazed upon his blond student, slightly disturbed by the peace that seemed to roll off him.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I like ramen, blue milk, and helping people with my gifts. I dislike having to use my lightsaber for aggressive negotiations, and watching people suffer. My hobbies include meditation, sword practice, and healing people. My dream is to one day use my understanding of the force to end conflicts without the need to restort to violence.ö


Sakura

Kakashi motioned for Sakura to begin. He was rather curious about her apparel which seemed to lie somewhere between a nuns habit and a knights armor.

Sakura drew herself up to her full height as she announced ôI am Sister Haruna Sakura. I love and worship the God-Emperor of mankind, and enjoy setting his enemies alit with his holy flame. I dislike heretics, aliensà.and mutantsà.ö Kakashi shivered at the look on her face at the mention of æmutantsÆ he made a mental note not to reveal his sharingan whenever she was around. ôMy hobbies include spreading the Emperors holy word wherever I go and my dream is to one day cleanse this world of all unbelievers!ö

****

Kakashi motioned for Sakura to begin. He was rather curious about her apparel, which consisted of some type of blue and brown body suite, and her rather large companion.

Sakura smiled and wiped at a smudge of engine grease on the bridge of her nose, which really only accentuated her cuteness as evidenced by NarutoÆs reaction. ôI am Haruna Sakura. I love building and repairing ancient machines and I love my adopted family, the FreemanÆs. I dislike slimy monsters, traitors, totalitarian governments and being separated from my trusty crowbar or gravity gun. My hobbies include tinkering with devices and playing with æDogÆ.ö Kakashi looked up at the huge, one eyed metal ape that hovered just behind his new charges. ôMy dream is to protect my home and family from enemies both foreign and domestic.ö
 

Juubi

Well-Known Member
#74
In the second one with Sakura, what was Naruto's reaction, Ordo? I assume drooling and heart-shaped eyes, but can you confirm or disprove this theory?
 
Top