Guess what, guys?
APRIL FOOLS
. . .
. . . just kidding. Chapter one in snippets.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Disclaimer: Blah, blah. I probably own some small part of this, but honestly, it's so miniscule that it's not worth it to make the claim. I'll trust to the concept of Honor Amongst ThievesÖ, and leave it at that.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Psycho-Orihime
Chapter 1
(In snippets)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
K?kaku frowned as she watched the sphere shatter, scattering it's precious cargo across the Seireitei.
She snorted. "Well, it's probably better like that anyway. Less of a chance they'll all get caught. 'Nothing I can do about it, though."
She turned and started walking back through the field towards the Shiba clanhouse.
"Best of luck, kiddo. You're gonna need it."
It was a flicker on the edge of her vision, so fast that it was practically invisible. She had time to widen her eyes and begin to move, when she felt something slam into the back of her head like a barstool thrown by a drunken brawler, and darkness bled into her vision.
----
The small, rundown town seemed totally abandoned, a veritable ghost town, save for one figure walking down the main road towards the gates. The residents, hidden from sight from this new threat, heard an odd song drifting along on the breeze.
"Ra. . de la. . do rey. . me do da. . . "
The figure swayed drunkenly, as if the stranger had had a bit too much to drink.
"Shi, le shin, gawa shoji's shi. . . do rey fu, do rey me. . . !"
As the figure moved past the village towards the gate to Soul Society, the sun passed out from behind the clouds, illuminating the figure fully for the first time. It was a woman, but not like any woman anyone in the village had ever seen before. She was tall, and had fair, creamy skin. Fiery orange hair spilled down her back, and while beautiful, she seemed somewhat unkempt, as if she hadn't taken care of herself in a long time.
But the most striking feature was her body. Full, luscious curves that were offset by one of the largest busts any of the observers had ever seen. A body that was almost on full display, much to the displeasure of many mothers, who covered their childrens eyes. The strangers modesty was preserved only by numerous bandages that covered her body from head to toe, and a dark black coat that reached down to her ankles, patched and frayed with age.
"Do, a drunk dragons doooo. Re, electric comic's rei, I-chi-go, is all for we!"
She finished, and stood before the massive gates. Amazingly, they were somewhat ajar, as if someone had forgotten to close them properly from the last attempt made at them.
The woman smiled to herself. "Just like every other time! Kitsune-san really is forgetful, now isn't he?"
She ducked gracefully under the gap, and stood up.
"H-hold it right there!" a voice shouted from her left.
She turned, and saw several shinigami standing in a defensive formation.
"D-don't come another step closer, you hear me? The barrier has been drawn down to the street! Touch it, and you'll fry!" the man smirked at the woman.
Sure enough, there was a faint shimmer hanging in front of her, almost like a heat haze.
She blinked, then stretched her arm out. Extending a finger, she poked the shimmer.
There was a sound of breaking glass, and the shinigami's eyes bugged out as her finger went clean through the haze. Dozens of jagged circles and lines radiated outwards from the middle of her finger.
There was an ominous creaking sound, like thick ice under strain, as the cracks grew larger and larger. The shinigami took a step backwards.
"I-I. . impossible. . th-that's rated for S-Class energy signatures! E. . even one of the Captains. . .!"
There was a screech like twisting metal as the entire face of the field of force caved in. Hundreds and hundreds of feet up and across came tumbling down, dissolving into motes of light in the spiritually-rich air.
The leader of the squad reached for his badge. Touching the symbol, he began to speak frantically.
"This is Cleanup Squad oh-four-six, reporting a second ryoka! She's breached the emergency lockdown, and-" he was cut off as the woman appeared in front of him in a flicker of movement. Grasping his wrist like a vise, she held his hand to his own badge. Several seconds passed, and the reaper seemed too scared to move.
". . . are you listening, Mayuri?" the woman murmured, her eyes becoming distant.
"Of course you are. You're always listening. You have all the frequencies tapped."
Silence reined.
"Meet me at the intersection of the main causeway and the hall of reflection pools in sixty minuets. I'll wait for you for five. If you're not there, then it's your loss."
She released the man, who fell backwards to the ground. She turned, facing the towering structure in the center of the court.
"If you know what's good for you" she murmured.
". . . you'll stay out of our way."
The men felt a chill race through them at her words, as though someone had poured icewater down their backs.
The woman began ambling away, almost as if she'd already forgotten the men were there.
"Ra, a ramen's ra. . ."
"I'm coming, Ichi-kun. . . I'm coming to make it all better this time. I promise."
"Do rey me, da de da!"
----
K?kaku moaned to herself as her head throbbed. Cool air poured down from the ceiling of her room, which only seemed to make the pain worse.
"Oh, kami. . . what the hell. . did I drink last night or something. . .?"
Suddenly, memories came streaming back to her. The intruders. Yoruichi and those mortals. The strawberry kid with the attitude.
Her attacker.
She sat bolt upright, and blinked. There was something taped to her forehead. She plucked it off and glanced at it.
She did a double take.
Twice.
A small trail of blood leaked out from the corner of her nose.
"W-what the hell!? Strawberry!?"
There, in all it's large-printed, glossy glory, was a perfect picture of Kurosaki Ichigo taking a shower. Without anything at all blocking the view.
The trickle grew to a flow.
K?kaku was speechless. Her imagination, however, had no such limitation, and was currently in overdrive.
Wha. . .!? D-damn, but he. . . isn't half-bad. . ."
----
Orihime smirked as she lept from building to building, the ragged edges of her black overcoat fluttering behind her.
"Step one: assemble the people to make Ichi-kun happy."
She stopped in mid-leap as she spotted something in the distance. Her eyes lit up with sparkles at the sight of a small, dark grey cat picking its way across the tiled rooftops.
"YORUICHI-KUN!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I think I'll leave it there for now. Reviews, comments, and criticism are always welcome.
And no, it's not an April Fools joke. It'll still be here after you go to review. I promise.
APRIL FOOLS
. . .
. . . just kidding. Chapter one in snippets.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Disclaimer: Blah, blah. I probably own some small part of this, but honestly, it's so miniscule that it's not worth it to make the claim. I'll trust to the concept of Honor Amongst ThievesÖ, and leave it at that.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Psycho-Orihime
Chapter 1
(In snippets)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
K?kaku frowned as she watched the sphere shatter, scattering it's precious cargo across the Seireitei.
She snorted. "Well, it's probably better like that anyway. Less of a chance they'll all get caught. 'Nothing I can do about it, though."
She turned and started walking back through the field towards the Shiba clanhouse.
"Best of luck, kiddo. You're gonna need it."
It was a flicker on the edge of her vision, so fast that it was practically invisible. She had time to widen her eyes and begin to move, when she felt something slam into the back of her head like a barstool thrown by a drunken brawler, and darkness bled into her vision.
----
The small, rundown town seemed totally abandoned, a veritable ghost town, save for one figure walking down the main road towards the gates. The residents, hidden from sight from this new threat, heard an odd song drifting along on the breeze.
"Ra. . de la. . do rey. . me do da. . . "
The figure swayed drunkenly, as if the stranger had had a bit too much to drink.
"Shi, le shin, gawa shoji's shi. . . do rey fu, do rey me. . . !"
As the figure moved past the village towards the gate to Soul Society, the sun passed out from behind the clouds, illuminating the figure fully for the first time. It was a woman, but not like any woman anyone in the village had ever seen before. She was tall, and had fair, creamy skin. Fiery orange hair spilled down her back, and while beautiful, she seemed somewhat unkempt, as if she hadn't taken care of herself in a long time.
But the most striking feature was her body. Full, luscious curves that were offset by one of the largest busts any of the observers had ever seen. A body that was almost on full display, much to the displeasure of many mothers, who covered their childrens eyes. The strangers modesty was preserved only by numerous bandages that covered her body from head to toe, and a dark black coat that reached down to her ankles, patched and frayed with age.
"Do, a drunk dragons doooo. Re, electric comic's rei, I-chi-go, is all for we!"
She finished, and stood before the massive gates. Amazingly, they were somewhat ajar, as if someone had forgotten to close them properly from the last attempt made at them.
The woman smiled to herself. "Just like every other time! Kitsune-san really is forgetful, now isn't he?"
She ducked gracefully under the gap, and stood up.
"H-hold it right there!" a voice shouted from her left.
She turned, and saw several shinigami standing in a defensive formation.
"D-don't come another step closer, you hear me? The barrier has been drawn down to the street! Touch it, and you'll fry!" the man smirked at the woman.
Sure enough, there was a faint shimmer hanging in front of her, almost like a heat haze.
She blinked, then stretched her arm out. Extending a finger, she poked the shimmer.
There was a sound of breaking glass, and the shinigami's eyes bugged out as her finger went clean through the haze. Dozens of jagged circles and lines radiated outwards from the middle of her finger.
There was an ominous creaking sound, like thick ice under strain, as the cracks grew larger and larger. The shinigami took a step backwards.
"I-I. . impossible. . th-that's rated for S-Class energy signatures! E. . even one of the Captains. . .!"
There was a screech like twisting metal as the entire face of the field of force caved in. Hundreds and hundreds of feet up and across came tumbling down, dissolving into motes of light in the spiritually-rich air.
The leader of the squad reached for his badge. Touching the symbol, he began to speak frantically.
"This is Cleanup Squad oh-four-six, reporting a second ryoka! She's breached the emergency lockdown, and-" he was cut off as the woman appeared in front of him in a flicker of movement. Grasping his wrist like a vise, she held his hand to his own badge. Several seconds passed, and the reaper seemed too scared to move.
". . . are you listening, Mayuri?" the woman murmured, her eyes becoming distant.
"Of course you are. You're always listening. You have all the frequencies tapped."
Silence reined.
"Meet me at the intersection of the main causeway and the hall of reflection pools in sixty minuets. I'll wait for you for five. If you're not there, then it's your loss."
She released the man, who fell backwards to the ground. She turned, facing the towering structure in the center of the court.
"If you know what's good for you" she murmured.
". . . you'll stay out of our way."
The men felt a chill race through them at her words, as though someone had poured icewater down their backs.
The woman began ambling away, almost as if she'd already forgotten the men were there.
"Ra, a ramen's ra. . ."
"I'm coming, Ichi-kun. . . I'm coming to make it all better this time. I promise."
"Do rey me, da de da!"
----
K?kaku moaned to herself as her head throbbed. Cool air poured down from the ceiling of her room, which only seemed to make the pain worse.
"Oh, kami. . . what the hell. . did I drink last night or something. . .?"
Suddenly, memories came streaming back to her. The intruders. Yoruichi and those mortals. The strawberry kid with the attitude.
Her attacker.
She sat bolt upright, and blinked. There was something taped to her forehead. She plucked it off and glanced at it.
She did a double take.
Twice.
A small trail of blood leaked out from the corner of her nose.
"W-what the hell!? Strawberry!?"
There, in all it's large-printed, glossy glory, was a perfect picture of Kurosaki Ichigo taking a shower. Without anything at all blocking the view.
The trickle grew to a flow.
K?kaku was speechless. Her imagination, however, had no such limitation, and was currently in overdrive.
Wha. . .!? D-damn, but he. . . isn't half-bad. . ."
----
Orihime smirked as she lept from building to building, the ragged edges of her black overcoat fluttering behind her.
"Step one: assemble the people to make Ichi-kun happy."
She stopped in mid-leap as she spotted something in the distance. Her eyes lit up with sparkles at the sight of a small, dark grey cat picking its way across the tiled rooftops.
"YORUICHI-KUN!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I think I'll leave it there for now. Reviews, comments, and criticism are always welcome.
And no, it's not an April Fools joke. It'll still be here after you go to review. I promise.
h43r: 
