Ranma ½ Rosario + Ranma
- Thread starter Black Dragon74
- Start date
Fools! The Machine God is not the Emperor! The Emperor does not encourage mastery of knowledge, but its decay and denial! He would have all of the Mechanicum under his heel, lying in stagnation under his tyranny! He does not honor the machine but only seeks to exploit them!
The Machine God is likely a relative of Tzeentch. You know, like that one cousin that your family compares you to, because he's a nerd too, but he's a completely different KIND of nerd so you don't actually have much in common? Like that.
In all seriousness, the Mechanicum is sectarian and confused as Hell when it comes to dogma, which is why most of its adherents spend all their time building things rather than preaching, teaching, and rooting out heresy like the Imperial Cult. And who knows if the Dragon was even a C'tan after Ward retconned the Necrons so badly.
The Machine God is likely a relative of Tzeentch. You know, like that one cousin that your family compares you to, because he's a nerd too, but he's a completely different KIND of nerd so you don't actually have much in common? Like that.
In all seriousness, the Mechanicum is sectarian and confused as Hell when it comes to dogma, which is why most of its adherents spend all their time building things rather than preaching, teaching, and rooting out heresy like the Imperial Cult. And who knows if the Dragon was even a C'tan after Ward retconned the Necrons so badly.
I don't actually play DnD.
I judge the value of a game entirely on how many funny images it provides me.
DnD is wayyy in the lead.
Also: One post making criticism about your favorite game is enough to get you to ask me to layoff, but the pages and pages and pages of me ribbing on religeon, economic models and morality isnt? I guess a man has to have his priorities. (I agree with yours in this case)
Laying off.
I judge the value of a game entirely on how many funny images it provides me.
DnD is wayyy in the lead.
Also: One post making criticism about your favorite game is enough to get you to ask me to layoff, but the pages and pages and pages of me ribbing on religeon, economic models and morality isnt? I guess a man has to have his priorities. (I agree with yours in this case)
Laying off.
I'm not a mod or anything; it's not up to me to regulate your behavior.
If you come around spitting on things that other people like/find important, it's up to them to complain about it (and they do, so why do I need to bother?).
But I was having a nice little sectarian feud about 40K lore, and was enjoying myself. You didn't have to insult the subject just to bring us down for your own amusement.
If you come around spitting on things that other people like/find important, it's up to them to complain about it (and they do, so why do I need to bother?).
But I was having a nice little sectarian feud about 40K lore, and was enjoying myself. You didn't have to insult the subject just to bring us down for your own amusement.
That was not my intent in the slightest, it was merely an attempt to segue into an opportunity to post more amusing images, and possibly divert the discussion into a DnD mythology versus warhammer mythology branch discussion, that came off as apparently, too abrasive. Though I do think you're being oversensetive in this case,
I'm sorry if it bothered you to that degree, and as I already said, I will lay off your Warhammer discussions.
But these guys I don't care about.
I'm sorry if it bothered you to that degree, and as I already said, I will lay off your Warhammer discussions.
But these guys I don't care about.
But I LOVE talking to strangers! Just, specific ones, and not all of them. I very much did not say, in any way, that I don't enjoy talking to strangers.
I mean, I like talking to a lot of people on this forum alone that I've never met, nor will ever meet.
There's a difference between that, and caring about random lurkers that come out of the woodwork to complain about some controversial opinion or statement I've made (as just one example of a situation).
I was working under the assumption that BD enjoyed our banter, clearly this is not the case, so I won't bother him with it anymore.
I mean, I like talking to a lot of people on this forum alone that I've never met, nor will ever meet.
There's a difference between that, and caring about random lurkers that come out of the woodwork to complain about some controversial opinion or statement I've made (as just one example of a situation).
I was working under the assumption that BD enjoyed our banter, clearly this is not the case, so I won't bother him with it anymore.
And here's the final part. Sorry that I didn't have Tsukune head home with a giant spider crawling on him, but it just seemed too unlikely and pointless.
"You... You w-won't... get away with this," sputtered one of the Headmaster's bodyguards, blood drooling from the corner of his mouth.
He was currently pinned to the wall of a rather poorly-maintained hallway, courtesy of a Mido's massive talons. The monstrel himself had his other hand in his pocket, looking rather bored by the unsatisfying violence. The guard's short sword lay at his feet, twisted about like an abused paperclip.
All throughout the hall, the monstrels cornered and pounced on the Headmaster's guardians as the youkai hybrids swiftly eliminated all resistance in the area. Some were simply mobbed and disarmed, their attackers not even bothering to shift from their human forms as they beat and kicked the poorly-armed grunts, while others were dispatched quickly by those monstrels with useful abilities.
Either way, the guard of a mere eight men were neutralized within minutes, its unconscious members being dumped into a pile as Mido slowly crushed his target against the wall.
"The Headmaster... will..."
"He'll what?" Mido demanded, moving his face closer to the struggling mook, "what's the Headmaster going to do? He didn't do anything when me and my kind were being picked out and jumped after classes. He didn't do anything when we banded together and started systematically killing other students in revenge. He didn't even do anything when the Enforcers got off our case out of fear of being killed wholesale."
A smirk crossed his scarred face. "And you think he's going to lift a finger to punish us for beating you goons? I'd like to see him show up and try, the lazy prick."
With a snort of contempt, Mido pulled the guard away from the wall and tossed him into a growing pile of unconscious and badly wounded grunts that had formed behind him.
Crack! Mido stepped on the damaged sword that lay in front of him, snapping the weapon in half.
"He couldn't even afford REAL weapons for his guards. No wonder things get so bad around here," Tsukune said sadly, shaking his head as he stepped into the hallway after making sure the coast was clear, "if the Headmaster can't exert any influence, then what's the point of having one?"
"Yeah, well maybe this will send a message for the loser to shape up," Mido snarled, letting his arm wither and shrink back to its disguised human proportions, "but probably not. You all clear, Aono? Still don't know why you wanted to get into this place, but it's all yours now."
"Call me Tsukune," Tsukune said with a smile, fearlessly approaching the sneering brawler, "and I just want to say that I am really, really proud of you guys. Today I've seen what you monstrels are really made of, and I know that you - ALL of you - have a better future ahead of you."
The many lesser monstrels started making embarrassed chuckles and giving each other high fives, and Mido hesitated as Tsukune extended a hand to shake.
"No matter what some jaded, stuck-up pure breed says about you, I'm really glad you guys have my back. I'd take you over them any day."
Mido finally stepped forward, but to Tsukune's surprise the monstrel leader ignored his hand and enveloped him in a tight hug. The human boy flinched at first from the strength of the embrace, but endured it for several seconds before Mido released him and stepped back again, his face obviously straining to suppress his emotions.
"No homo," Mido said gruffly as he turned around, walking toward the others, "good luck with whatever you need to do here. See you later... Tsukune."
Tsukune, for his part, offered a brief wave in the monstrels' direction before taking off into the stairs leading to the underhalls.
'I really hope the other Tsukune is keeping things under wraps in my universe,' the Captain of the Protection Committee thought as he dashed through the darkened tunnels, well aware that the giant spiders hiding in the corners were likely to be less friendly than the ones back at home and taking care to avoid any obtrusive webs, 'frankly, his academy is a mess. What has he been doing all this time?'
Shaking his head as he reached the storage room, Tsukune was gratified to find that it was full of dusty, sheet-covered artifacts, exactly as before he and his subordinates had cleaned it. Some things really didn't change.
He took a note out of his pocket, unfolded it and then left it in the middle of the dust-covered doorway, where it would be almost impossible to miss.
"Dear Tsukune," it began, "assuming everything goes as planned, this note should reach you after I successfully swap places with you again and return to my original timeline. Just so you know, I rescued Moka from the monstrels, since I couldn't find Ranma Saotome to help me out this time. Does he even go to school here in this timeline? I really have no idea how you've survived without him around, but I don't envy you one bit if you have. Anyway, Moka is fine, but it seemed like she wanted to talk to you about something. I had more important things to do at the time, so just a heads up. Also, I think I saw Mizore following me a while back. Is she stalking you? Seriously? If so, you really need to find Ranma. Good luck and best wishes, Tsukune."
"P.S. I talked to the monstrels that kidnapped Moka and convinced them to turn their energies to community service and social justice rather than petty revenge killings. So, in case you were wondering, that's why they're planting flower gardens rather than trying to murder you and everyone you love. You're welcome."
<hr>
"Do you... Do you think he's gone?" Moka asked.
Tsukune turned his head to regard the vampiress, his shirt torn and his bandage wrappings newly bloodied. The both of them were covered with dirt and bits of debris, having barely escaped the explosion as it caved in most of the tunnels and, incidentally, buried the vaults in which lay Tsukune's best hope of returning to his universe.
"Moka, I'm sure Mister Christ is just fine. Or, you know, if he's not, I'm pretty sure it will be okay anyway. He does have that whole resurrection thing going on, as I understand it," he mumbled, sighing as he saw that Moka seemed genuinely worried for the fate of their Savior.
Moka accepted the answer, but then frowned at Tsukune, noticing that the young human looked depressed, for some reason. "Is something wrong? You don't seem happy about beating the Swarmlord."
"Yeah, sorry. I just hoped we wouldn't have to bury the basements to do it."
Glancing at his filthy arms as he and Moka exited the stairwell, Tsukune immediately turned toward the nearest restroom. "I gotta go wash up. See you later," he said listlessly.
Once in the bathroom, Tsukune headed straight for the sink and started washing his arms, staring glumly into the mirror.
Putting aside that his "plan" to defeat the alien had been an utter failure and nearly gotten Moka killed and him turned into a ghoul, and also putting aside that he'd had to be bailed out by the human race's ultimate Deus Ex Machina while watching uselessly from the sidelines, since the underhalls collapsed from the explosion he was effectively cut off from the magic mirror that was supposed to spirit him home.
Meaning that he was now stuck in this world until the vaults were excavated, if they ever would be. Heck, even then he might not be able to go home.
Tsukune splashed water on his face, and then watched as the muddy droplets ran down his face and dripped into the sink.
"Damn it! I didn't ask for this!" he snapped, grabbing the sink mirror and glaring at it as if this were the fault of all reflective surfaces in general. "I don't want the responsibility of running the Enforcers and dealing with huge aliens and hanging out with bloodthirsty trolls! Let me go back to my own world, you stupid mirror!"
The mirror started to glow.
"Oh. Uh..." Tsukune's fury deflated as the mirror's glow faded enough to reveal another Tsukune, noticeably cleaner as he was busy attaching a red armband to his sleeve. "Sorry, I didn't know I just had to ask," he mumbled in embarrassment, "thank you?"
Lightning flashed from the mirror surface, and in a split second Tsukune was instantly replaced with Tsukune.
"Well, that was way easier than I thought," Tsukune said as he dusted off his pants and tugged on his armband, "I hope I landed in the right universe and I'm not stuck in some kind of Sliders plot. I never watched past the fourth episode of that show."
Stepping out of the bathroom, he entered the hall just as Moka was emerging from the women's restroom nearby.
"Hey Moka," Tsukune said immediately, "quick question: I'm captain of the Protection Committee, right?"
Moka blinked, rather surprised to hear such a strange question. Then again, Tsukune had been acting somewhat odd today.
"Yes, you are," she said slowly.
"Awesome. Did anything important or unusual happen recently that I should really know about but I'm asking you about it anyway?"
"Uh... Well, a huge alien appeared in the underhalls of the academy, you and I went on a suicide mission to destroy it, and Jesus Christ came and rescued us, blowing up the explosives storage room in the process and probably causing lots of damage to the school building," she explained awkwardly, pointing to wall and the numerous hairline cracks that covered it.
"Ah, okay. Thanks," Tsukune said cheerfully, heading toward the stairs toward the Committee offices. 'Better than I'd hoped. That other Tsukune sure likes to do things the hard way.'
"Are you all right? What happened to all those bandages?" Moka asked. It was also weird how Tsukune looked completely unscathed now; not only was he completely dry, despite having just washed up, but his uniform had evidently mended itself and he found time to comb the dust and drywall bits out of his hair despite them still covering Moka's.
Tsukune thought about his answer for a moment. "Magic shenanigans."
"Oh, okay," Moka said with a relieved smile, glad that it wasn't anything unusual or serious.
As they started walking back up to the offices, Moka giggled. "So I guess we owe Mister Christ twice now, don't we?"
"Well, I do," Tsukune said, glancing back at the vampiress, "you only owe him once."
"What?" Moka's smile vanished.
"He didn't save the vampires, remember? At least, that's what Kouma implied when we visited Hell. Kind of sad, I guess, but we can't expect Jesus to die for EVERYONE," Tsukune explained.
"... No, actually. I didn't remember that until just now," Moka mumbled sadly.
"Well, don't take it personally. Maybe we can put in a personal request if we meet him again," Tsukune suggested as they reached the top of the stairs and the front door of the offices, "anyway, let's see what the others have been up to while we were busy almost dying due to my incompetence."
He opened the door.
An animal scream greeted the pair, nearly blowing their hair back with its intensity.
"Ha! Got it!" Chopper said cheerily, his arms wrapped around the neck of a silverback mountain gorilla from behind as the beast bellowed and slammed the ground helplessly with its hand, pinned beneath the mighty wrestler. "And in human form, too! Squeal, you tree-hugging pansy!"
Kouma, who had adopted hellhound form but was at least refraining from using fire, bit savagely into the throat of a male lion that was almost as big as he was as he wrestled with it, washing his face in the animal's blood.
Behind him, Kurumu laughed as he fought off the lion's pride, his hands having shifted into sets of armored talons rather than the fragile-looking extended nails that he was used to. "Come on, what are you afraid of?" he taunted, slashing his claws in front of him as the vicious felines backed away fearfully. Many of them already sported deep wounds, and one lioness that had actually managed to bite Kurumu had been sliced completely in half for her trouble.
Kouma spit out the meat from his kill, blood sizzling as it dripped from his jaws. "Why are you still a guy?"
"It's a cursed item, all right? I can't just take it off whenever I want!" Kurumu snapped before leaping forward onto a terrified lioness.
"I offered to take it off before we even started playing," Yukari noted dryly. She was holding a fishing pole up in the air with a magical bug zapper hanging from the line, watching as mosquitoes and flies the size of baseballs ran into it and got blasted by vicious tendrils of lightning.
"Look, I told you, give me a full day, all right?" Kurumu shouted as he and the lion clawed at each other, with the incubus holding a clear advantage in damage and leverage.
Kouma gave him a sidelong glance as the hellhound walked over to Chopper, who had started slamming the gorilla's head into the ground repeatedly.
"I think she just wants some time alone to try out the equipment," Kouma murmured, trying to keep his voice low enough so that Kurumu couldn't overhear.
CRUNCH! Chopper smiled and wiped the sweat off his brow as the gorilla's struggles finally ceased. "Well, it IS pretty neat." Then the wrestler turned around. "Hey, Vice-Boss! Whose turn is it?"
"Huh? Oh, it's Keito's turn," Ranma mumbled, crouching over the Juumanji game board among a veritable sea of giant spiders.
"In a minute!" Keito said, wrapping up a massive web coccoon that looked an awful lot like a rhinoceros.
"Take your time," Ranma mumbled, looking bored as he watched his domesticated spiders scuttle among the swarm of identical jungle spiders that had been summoned on his turn. When the two groups had met Ranma thought he was going to see an awesome spider war, but instead his arachnids had just started mingling with the summoned ones, halting their creeping advance. Cammy in particular had been very energetic, scrambling around and over the visitors while waving her legs everywhere. Now he didn't know what was going on, except that everyone else was getting to fight apex predators except him.
Well, him and Kana. She had several birds perched on her arms and shoulders and had been whistling to them constantly as they chirped and hooted back, but at least she was having fun.
"Uhm... Tsukune?" Moka asked, not having moved from the entrance as they stared at the havoc in the lobby.
"Yeah?" he asked, still staring forward.
"Aren't all those animals they're killing endangered?" Moka asked awkwardly.
"It's nice that that's the first thought you have when you walk in on something like this," Tsukune said, smiling as he took Moka's hand and walked into the lobby, "it's good to be home."
"You... You w-won't... get away with this," sputtered one of the Headmaster's bodyguards, blood drooling from the corner of his mouth.
He was currently pinned to the wall of a rather poorly-maintained hallway, courtesy of a Mido's massive talons. The monstrel himself had his other hand in his pocket, looking rather bored by the unsatisfying violence. The guard's short sword lay at his feet, twisted about like an abused paperclip.
All throughout the hall, the monstrels cornered and pounced on the Headmaster's guardians as the youkai hybrids swiftly eliminated all resistance in the area. Some were simply mobbed and disarmed, their attackers not even bothering to shift from their human forms as they beat and kicked the poorly-armed grunts, while others were dispatched quickly by those monstrels with useful abilities.
Either way, the guard of a mere eight men were neutralized within minutes, its unconscious members being dumped into a pile as Mido slowly crushed his target against the wall.
"The Headmaster... will..."
"He'll what?" Mido demanded, moving his face closer to the struggling mook, "what's the Headmaster going to do? He didn't do anything when me and my kind were being picked out and jumped after classes. He didn't do anything when we banded together and started systematically killing other students in revenge. He didn't even do anything when the Enforcers got off our case out of fear of being killed wholesale."
A smirk crossed his scarred face. "And you think he's going to lift a finger to punish us for beating you goons? I'd like to see him show up and try, the lazy prick."
With a snort of contempt, Mido pulled the guard away from the wall and tossed him into a growing pile of unconscious and badly wounded grunts that had formed behind him.
Crack! Mido stepped on the damaged sword that lay in front of him, snapping the weapon in half.
"He couldn't even afford REAL weapons for his guards. No wonder things get so bad around here," Tsukune said sadly, shaking his head as he stepped into the hallway after making sure the coast was clear, "if the Headmaster can't exert any influence, then what's the point of having one?"
"Yeah, well maybe this will send a message for the loser to shape up," Mido snarled, letting his arm wither and shrink back to its disguised human proportions, "but probably not. You all clear, Aono? Still don't know why you wanted to get into this place, but it's all yours now."
"Call me Tsukune," Tsukune said with a smile, fearlessly approaching the sneering brawler, "and I just want to say that I am really, really proud of you guys. Today I've seen what you monstrels are really made of, and I know that you - ALL of you - have a better future ahead of you."
The many lesser monstrels started making embarrassed chuckles and giving each other high fives, and Mido hesitated as Tsukune extended a hand to shake.
"No matter what some jaded, stuck-up pure breed says about you, I'm really glad you guys have my back. I'd take you over them any day."
Mido finally stepped forward, but to Tsukune's surprise the monstrel leader ignored his hand and enveloped him in a tight hug. The human boy flinched at first from the strength of the embrace, but endured it for several seconds before Mido released him and stepped back again, his face obviously straining to suppress his emotions.
"No homo," Mido said gruffly as he turned around, walking toward the others, "good luck with whatever you need to do here. See you later... Tsukune."
Tsukune, for his part, offered a brief wave in the monstrels' direction before taking off into the stairs leading to the underhalls.
'I really hope the other Tsukune is keeping things under wraps in my universe,' the Captain of the Protection Committee thought as he dashed through the darkened tunnels, well aware that the giant spiders hiding in the corners were likely to be less friendly than the ones back at home and taking care to avoid any obtrusive webs, 'frankly, his academy is a mess. What has he been doing all this time?'
Shaking his head as he reached the storage room, Tsukune was gratified to find that it was full of dusty, sheet-covered artifacts, exactly as before he and his subordinates had cleaned it. Some things really didn't change.
He took a note out of his pocket, unfolded it and then left it in the middle of the dust-covered doorway, where it would be almost impossible to miss.
"Dear Tsukune," it began, "assuming everything goes as planned, this note should reach you after I successfully swap places with you again and return to my original timeline. Just so you know, I rescued Moka from the monstrels, since I couldn't find Ranma Saotome to help me out this time. Does he even go to school here in this timeline? I really have no idea how you've survived without him around, but I don't envy you one bit if you have. Anyway, Moka is fine, but it seemed like she wanted to talk to you about something. I had more important things to do at the time, so just a heads up. Also, I think I saw Mizore following me a while back. Is she stalking you? Seriously? If so, you really need to find Ranma. Good luck and best wishes, Tsukune."
"P.S. I talked to the monstrels that kidnapped Moka and convinced them to turn their energies to community service and social justice rather than petty revenge killings. So, in case you were wondering, that's why they're planting flower gardens rather than trying to murder you and everyone you love. You're welcome."
<hr>
"Do you... Do you think he's gone?" Moka asked.
Tsukune turned his head to regard the vampiress, his shirt torn and his bandage wrappings newly bloodied. The both of them were covered with dirt and bits of debris, having barely escaped the explosion as it caved in most of the tunnels and, incidentally, buried the vaults in which lay Tsukune's best hope of returning to his universe.
"Moka, I'm sure Mister Christ is just fine. Or, you know, if he's not, I'm pretty sure it will be okay anyway. He does have that whole resurrection thing going on, as I understand it," he mumbled, sighing as he saw that Moka seemed genuinely worried for the fate of their Savior.
Moka accepted the answer, but then frowned at Tsukune, noticing that the young human looked depressed, for some reason. "Is something wrong? You don't seem happy about beating the Swarmlord."
"Yeah, sorry. I just hoped we wouldn't have to bury the basements to do it."
Glancing at his filthy arms as he and Moka exited the stairwell, Tsukune immediately turned toward the nearest restroom. "I gotta go wash up. See you later," he said listlessly.
Once in the bathroom, Tsukune headed straight for the sink and started washing his arms, staring glumly into the mirror.
Putting aside that his "plan" to defeat the alien had been an utter failure and nearly gotten Moka killed and him turned into a ghoul, and also putting aside that he'd had to be bailed out by the human race's ultimate Deus Ex Machina while watching uselessly from the sidelines, since the underhalls collapsed from the explosion he was effectively cut off from the magic mirror that was supposed to spirit him home.
Meaning that he was now stuck in this world until the vaults were excavated, if they ever would be. Heck, even then he might not be able to go home.
Tsukune splashed water on his face, and then watched as the muddy droplets ran down his face and dripped into the sink.
"Damn it! I didn't ask for this!" he snapped, grabbing the sink mirror and glaring at it as if this were the fault of all reflective surfaces in general. "I don't want the responsibility of running the Enforcers and dealing with huge aliens and hanging out with bloodthirsty trolls! Let me go back to my own world, you stupid mirror!"
The mirror started to glow.
"Oh. Uh..." Tsukune's fury deflated as the mirror's glow faded enough to reveal another Tsukune, noticeably cleaner as he was busy attaching a red armband to his sleeve. "Sorry, I didn't know I just had to ask," he mumbled in embarrassment, "thank you?"
Lightning flashed from the mirror surface, and in a split second Tsukune was instantly replaced with Tsukune.
"Well, that was way easier than I thought," Tsukune said as he dusted off his pants and tugged on his armband, "I hope I landed in the right universe and I'm not stuck in some kind of Sliders plot. I never watched past the fourth episode of that show."
Stepping out of the bathroom, he entered the hall just as Moka was emerging from the women's restroom nearby.
"Hey Moka," Tsukune said immediately, "quick question: I'm captain of the Protection Committee, right?"
Moka blinked, rather surprised to hear such a strange question. Then again, Tsukune had been acting somewhat odd today.
"Yes, you are," she said slowly.
"Awesome. Did anything important or unusual happen recently that I should really know about but I'm asking you about it anyway?"
"Uh... Well, a huge alien appeared in the underhalls of the academy, you and I went on a suicide mission to destroy it, and Jesus Christ came and rescued us, blowing up the explosives storage room in the process and probably causing lots of damage to the school building," she explained awkwardly, pointing to wall and the numerous hairline cracks that covered it.
"Ah, okay. Thanks," Tsukune said cheerfully, heading toward the stairs toward the Committee offices. 'Better than I'd hoped. That other Tsukune sure likes to do things the hard way.'
"Are you all right? What happened to all those bandages?" Moka asked. It was also weird how Tsukune looked completely unscathed now; not only was he completely dry, despite having just washed up, but his uniform had evidently mended itself and he found time to comb the dust and drywall bits out of his hair despite them still covering Moka's.
Tsukune thought about his answer for a moment. "Magic shenanigans."
"Oh, okay," Moka said with a relieved smile, glad that it wasn't anything unusual or serious.
As they started walking back up to the offices, Moka giggled. "So I guess we owe Mister Christ twice now, don't we?"
"Well, I do," Tsukune said, glancing back at the vampiress, "you only owe him once."
"What?" Moka's smile vanished.
"He didn't save the vampires, remember? At least, that's what Kouma implied when we visited Hell. Kind of sad, I guess, but we can't expect Jesus to die for EVERYONE," Tsukune explained.
"... No, actually. I didn't remember that until just now," Moka mumbled sadly.
"Well, don't take it personally. Maybe we can put in a personal request if we meet him again," Tsukune suggested as they reached the top of the stairs and the front door of the offices, "anyway, let's see what the others have been up to while we were busy almost dying due to my incompetence."
He opened the door.
An animal scream greeted the pair, nearly blowing their hair back with its intensity.
"Ha! Got it!" Chopper said cheerily, his arms wrapped around the neck of a silverback mountain gorilla from behind as the beast bellowed and slammed the ground helplessly with its hand, pinned beneath the mighty wrestler. "And in human form, too! Squeal, you tree-hugging pansy!"
Kouma, who had adopted hellhound form but was at least refraining from using fire, bit savagely into the throat of a male lion that was almost as big as he was as he wrestled with it, washing his face in the animal's blood.
Behind him, Kurumu laughed as he fought off the lion's pride, his hands having shifted into sets of armored talons rather than the fragile-looking extended nails that he was used to. "Come on, what are you afraid of?" he taunted, slashing his claws in front of him as the vicious felines backed away fearfully. Many of them already sported deep wounds, and one lioness that had actually managed to bite Kurumu had been sliced completely in half for her trouble.
Kouma spit out the meat from his kill, blood sizzling as it dripped from his jaws. "Why are you still a guy?"
"It's a cursed item, all right? I can't just take it off whenever I want!" Kurumu snapped before leaping forward onto a terrified lioness.
"I offered to take it off before we even started playing," Yukari noted dryly. She was holding a fishing pole up in the air with a magical bug zapper hanging from the line, watching as mosquitoes and flies the size of baseballs ran into it and got blasted by vicious tendrils of lightning.
"Look, I told you, give me a full day, all right?" Kurumu shouted as he and the lion clawed at each other, with the incubus holding a clear advantage in damage and leverage.
Kouma gave him a sidelong glance as the hellhound walked over to Chopper, who had started slamming the gorilla's head into the ground repeatedly.
"I think she just wants some time alone to try out the equipment," Kouma murmured, trying to keep his voice low enough so that Kurumu couldn't overhear.
CRUNCH! Chopper smiled and wiped the sweat off his brow as the gorilla's struggles finally ceased. "Well, it IS pretty neat." Then the wrestler turned around. "Hey, Vice-Boss! Whose turn is it?"
"Huh? Oh, it's Keito's turn," Ranma mumbled, crouching over the Juumanji game board among a veritable sea of giant spiders.
"In a minute!" Keito said, wrapping up a massive web coccoon that looked an awful lot like a rhinoceros.
"Take your time," Ranma mumbled, looking bored as he watched his domesticated spiders scuttle among the swarm of identical jungle spiders that had been summoned on his turn. When the two groups had met Ranma thought he was going to see an awesome spider war, but instead his arachnids had just started mingling with the summoned ones, halting their creeping advance. Cammy in particular had been very energetic, scrambling around and over the visitors while waving her legs everywhere. Now he didn't know what was going on, except that everyone else was getting to fight apex predators except him.
Well, him and Kana. She had several birds perched on her arms and shoulders and had been whistling to them constantly as they chirped and hooted back, but at least she was having fun.
"Uhm... Tsukune?" Moka asked, not having moved from the entrance as they stared at the havoc in the lobby.
"Yeah?" he asked, still staring forward.
"Aren't all those animals they're killing endangered?" Moka asked awkwardly.
"It's nice that that's the first thought you have when you walk in on something like this," Tsukune said, smiling as he took Moka's hand and walked into the lobby, "it's good to be home."