Evangelion rules and regulations for NERV employees

[jaredstar]

seeing the success of the rule threads in the Naruto, Bleach and Harry Potter sections i decided to see if the same success could be mimicked here.


the story is that Gendo decides to make a set rules to make everybody's (particularly Shinji's) life miserable.




1. all employees are to refrain from using N2 mines to kill their ex's the cost of repairs is going through the roof

 

[PCHeintz72]

seeing the success of the rule threads in the Naruto, Bleach and Harry Potter sections i decided to see if the same success could be mimicked here.


the story is that Gendo decides to make a set rules to make everybody's (particularly Shinji's) life miserable.




1. all employees are to refrain from using N2 mines to kill their ex's the cost of repairs is going through the roof

Gendo incanon is in violation of rule 1.

The 12th. They were going to use all remaining N2 mines to blow apart the angel, and incidentally Shinji and Unit 1.

Since Unit 1 has Yui, and she is not a current lover...

 

[Dartz_IRL]

2: In case of Third Impact, flush toilet before use

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

3. Spent Pallet Rifle Shell Casings are not to be made into Giant Beer Cans.

 

[firestorm]

3a. Misato, that means you!

 

[WOLead]

4) Showing the pilots Mecha anime is now banned. We are still trying to get Shinji to stop demanding to have a "Rocket-Punch" installed on Eva-01 after watching Martian Successor Nadesico.

4a) All personnel are to stop supporting Shinji's delusion of being this Akito Tenkawa. We don't care he is actually more likable then normal.

4b) Rei, stop acting like Yurika Misumaru as well. That is an order. Also, put back the immature Rei-clone. She is not Ruri Hoshino, besides Asuka is getting mad that she is stealing her favored Baka line.

4c) ALL NERV personnel are to stop cosplaying as Nadesico characters immediately! Get away from me, I don't want that costume! I will not be Mr. Prospector!....I hate you all. - Gendo.

 

[GoatMan]

5) Due to drastic budget cuts, all NERV personnel are restricted to one bullet per handgun.

6) In the event of hostile takeover, ammunition may be rationed amongst the senior officers.

7) In an addendum to the life insurance policy provided, all benefits will be terminated to those senior officers who are found dead due to suicide. The Company does not recognize the Cataclysm as justifiable breach of contract.

 

[Cornuthaum]

3. Spent Pallet Rifle Shell Casings are not to be made into Giant Beer Cans.

Sadly enough I do know where that one comes from...^^

8.) Positron cannons are not toys. All pilots are asked to return the thing, or else.

 

[bluepencil]

9) Rei is no longer allowed to mob Shinji. The boy might as well live in the Sahara with his liquid deprivation right now.

10) Asuka; yelling 'Blood for the Blood God!' will not make it any easier when you are menstruating.

 

[lord geryon]

10) Asuka; yelling 'Blood for the Blood God!' will not make it any easier when you are menstruating.

I am quite disturbed now, thank you.

 

[InternetLOL]

10) Asuka; yelling 'Blood for the Blood God!' will not make it any easier when you are menstruating.

Khorne is not pleased. ):

 

[FanboyimusPrime]

11) Asuka's new nick name is not Hawkgirl.

12) Whoever glued Klingon Forehead ridges on Misato is to report to Commander Ikari. It's not funny.

 

[Dartz_IRL]

22) Pilots refusing to pilot due to insanity are clearly sane enough to think of their own self preservation.Ergo, they are sane enough to Pilot. Pilots too insane to Pilot will be dismissed, pending personal request.

23) Plagiarism will not be tolerated.

 

[jaredstar]

24. Rei, no matter how fun it is to watch it is wrong to hypnotize Shinji into to thinking that Asuka is an angel during sex.

 

[firestorm]

10) Asuka; yelling 'Blood for the Blood God!' will not make it any easier when you are menstruating.

Khorne is not pleased. ):

are you joking? asuka is pretty much as close as you get to a female 'zerk...

 

[Prince Charon]

24. Rei, no matter how fun it is to watch it is wrong to hypnotize Shinji into to thinking that Asuka is an angel during sex.

There's a fic in that.

 

[Dartz_IRL]

25: Director of Operations to be refused leave on St. Patricks day.

 

[jaredstar]

24.? Rei, no matter how fun it is to watch it is wrong to hypnotize Shinji into to thinking that Asuka is an angel during sex.

There's a fic in that.

i know this is where i got it from (go to the bottom of the page)

 

[Dawn_Gazer]

25.) Misato, Ritsuko, and Maya are not secret lesbian lovers.

25a.) Somone please wipe Shinji's nose and mouth. The drool and blood thing's getting old.

26.) Rule #25 has henceforth be taken down to avoid awkward questions from Rei about what being a lesbian is.

 

[InternetLOL]

are you joking? asuka is pretty much as close as you get to a female 'zerk...

She's not eight feet tall and covered in rippling muscles. Also, menstrual blood.

 

[S J C]

What happened to rules 13 - 21?

 

[InternetLOL]

What happened to rules 13 - 21?

Turned into Tang.

 

[firestorm]

are you joking? asuka is pretty much as close as you get to a female 'zerk...

She's not eight feet tall and covered in rippling muscles. Also, menstrual blood.

yeah, but she pilots something that's twenty feet tall and covered in rippling muscles...

 

[jaredstar]

13. All technicians are to stop calling the evas megazords.

14. the next time you decide to use the evas to play catch Don't!!!

15. Asuka is not related to Ranma Saotome in anyway! Stop telling people that!

16. The Rei clones are not to be used as sex dolls

 

[Prince Charon]

16. The Rei clones are not to be used as sex dolls

16a. Even if they seem to like it.