Ah, true. Sorry about that.
---------------------------
*SPLASH!*
"Ah, what misfortune. Honored costumer fell in the spring of drowned...." The guide raise his eyes in wonder. "Actually, this one doesn't know what this spring is. But sure there is a very tragic story behind it!" He concluded with a wise nod.
Ranma emerged from the waters soaked to the bones and coughing wildly, but to the surprise of the guide and relief of his father he looked exactly the same as before.
"Aiya! Great tragedy, the pool held a mind affecting curse!"
Ranma jumped out and ignored the man's words. He stared down at his hands like he was seeing them for the first time and cocked his head in mute wonder. After a moment he turned toward the panda.
"Pop, I think I've become a god."
"Sooo, you're clinically insane?" Nabiki drawled. She supposed that explained why the strange boy had appeared at their door a panda in tow and declared the animal was his father.
Akane twitched at her side, hands clenched on her wooden sword. The boy was looking more and more like Kuno and she remembered how easily he'd handled her earlier.
"Oh my." Kasumi added. The young man certainly felt strangely dignified but...
The panda swung his sign in the back of Ranma's head. 'Finish the story boy, you're confusing them.'
Ranma shot the panda a dirty look before turned back to the Tendos. "Yeah, pop and the guide pretty much had the same reaction. They completely ignored me when I tried to convince them that it was the truth. The guide told us that curse was water dependent. Hot water reverse it, while cold water would turn us again. So pop doused himself as soon as possible and then threw a boiling pot at me when I had my back turned." Ranma threw another look at the panda but he was carefully ignored.
Soun coughed in his hand. "So, if this panda is doused with hot water he will turn back into my old friend Genma?"
"Well, that's the way a Jusenkyo curse works..."
"Soun grabbed the steaming teapot resting on of the table and threw content at the panda. The animal howled when the boiling water hit him right in the face, but there was no magical transformation.
"... But there's bit more to it when pop's curse is concerned." Ranma finished happily.
-SMASH!-CRACK!-
The panda smashed Ranma with his sign again. The hit was so hard this time the martial artist's head crashed through the table and ended up half burying in the wooden floor. Small twitches along his body were the only signs the boy was still alive.
The panda stood radiating indignation. 'The boy cursed me a second time!' read his sign.
Ranma's hands clenched into fists.
-THWACK!-PLOOF!-
Soun and Akane were the only Tendos to see the blindingly fast kick that sent the Panda flying into the koi pond. the two other sisters could only blink in astonishment as the wide animal vanished and was replaced by a pissed off teenager.
ôDammit old man. Stopping with the excessive violence doesn't mean I'm a pi±ata.ö The martial artist grumbled. He let out a long breath, and sat down with the Tendos, calm once again. ôIt wasn't a curse,ö he said awkwardly, ôit was a blessing of balance.ö
ôWhat.ö Nabiki asked helpfully.
Ranma scratched the back of his head.ôIt happened a few days after we left Jusenkyo. Even if dad wouldn't hear of it, I was pretty sure I was right about my curse being godhood.ö He paused for emphasis, but his public watched him dubiously. In the pond, a panda chortled.
The martial artist coughed. öAnyway, It had rained that day, so both me and pop were in our cursed forms. We'd been busy trekking along the countryside so I had no time to see what I could do as a god so far. So while we were walking, I decided to test my God-Vision.ö
'God-Vision' Akane repeated mutely.
Nabiki raised an eyebrow.
Kasumi's mouth twitched uncomfortably. It just wouldn't do to laugh at their guest while he was being so serious.
ôYou know, I'd thought that I'd been aware of the world around me as a martial artist. But that was nothing compared to the God-Vision. Like an entirely new world was superposed to the old one. ö
Be strong, Kasumi!
ôIt was awesome, you know. Could have stared at nothing for hours and still see something new. But what I saw first was pop's aura.ö
ôHoly shit!ö The drenched god said under his breath.
Ahead of him the panda grunted an interrogation and Ranma quickly shook his head. ôNothing.ö
His pop already thought he was insane, trying to explain that he could barely the huge panda through the muddy grey mist around him wouldn't be of any help. Nor would mentioning the smallish thing that was riding on top of his dad's head, staring at him. It looked like a teru teru bozu, all white but for a dark line running on his left side. A tiny notebook was floating where one of his hands could have been.
ôHello, Ranma-sama. You shouldn't swear.ö The little spirit said with a short bow.
Ranma returned it mechanically. ôSorry about that. Fancy meeting you here.ö He talked softly and hoping his pop wouldn't hear. Did pandas have better hearing than humans?
The spirit chuckled. ôOh come now Ranma-sama, I've been with your father for a while now. I'm his personal accountant.ö
ôMust be an easy job. Pop never got any money.ö
The spirit shook his head in good humor. ôNot money Ranma-sama, Karma. I'm in charge of keeping your father karmic account updated.ö
ôOh. That gotta keep you busy.ö
ôYes, it's a very big job. Usually the accounts are updated automatically, but your father is a special case. He does so many petty crimes and minor wrongdoing on an average day that the system can't keep up.ö
ôYou're telling me.ö The god muttered. ôDoes that got anything to do with that swamp he's dragging along?ö
ôYes. The thickness is caused of the sheer numbers of sins, but his actions aren't evil enough for his aura to turn black. Still, your honorable father is in serious trouble.ö
Amazingly, Ranma's understanding grew while the accountant spoke the knowledge coming from a part of himself he'd never noticed. He could perceive glimpse of his father's pasts actions reflected within the mist. A false promise here, a petty theft there. Most of them weren't huge, but they added up.
ôFor example. Did you know that your father keep going out of his way to bully any cats he meets?ö
ôNooooo.ö
ôYes. Even the kittens. The god of cats is very cross with him.ö The spirit said, shaking his head in disapproval.
Ranma delved through his father's history, searching for those particular instance. He bit his lips hard to keep himself from smirking as he saw his pop terrorize the little monsters. Those should have totally played in his favor.
At the rate he was going, Genma would either reincarnate as an earthworm or end up in some hell. That sucked, Ranma decided. His father was a crook and he obviously deserved whatever would happen to him, but Ranma wasn't going to like it. Now that he was a god, wasn't there something he could do to help him?
ôRanma-sama?ö
Maybe if his pop turned his life around he could still be saved. Pay up a portion of his debt right now, rather than having to spend an entire existence miserable.
ôRanma-sama, what are you doing?ö
'Boy, what are you doing?'
ôDon't worry, old man. Everything's gonna be alright....ö
ô...And that's why until my old man's karma is balanced, he's locked as a panda. Everyday he stays like that already helps some but unless he becomes a man of virtue, he'll be stuck like that for decades!ö Ranma seemed pretty happy with the idea.
Nabiki emptied her teacup calmly, set it down and looked at Ranma seriously. ôAnyone who thinks the fiance's crazy raises his hand.ö She said and followed through. Akane's hand shot up immediately and Soun joined them reluctantely.
Kasumi did not. The the shock of her family, she got up, walked around the table and sat up in front of the young man, her back straight and her leg folded underneath her. ôI don't know if I'm worthy Ranma-sama,ö She bowed low to the martial artist's embarrassment, ôbut I'd be honoured to be your fiancee.ö
ôYou can't seriously believe him Kasumi.ö Nabiki asked bemusedly.
ôOh, I don't know Nabiki-chan.ö Kasumi said as she put her hand on the table. The perfectly whole, intact table.
Which now that Nabiki thought about it, had been anything but that a short while ago.
For a second, Nabiki hated the amused glint in her big sister's eye. ôHe's made a rather solid argument.ö
