School has always been a chore for our young Mr. Ikari.á While heÆs never struggled with school work terribly much, he is still not the type of person to get immersed in droning lectures from an old fossil of a teacher that can only talk about Second Impact and his childhood stories.á Thus it is with heavy eyelids that our favorite young man attempts to read through the study guide for one of the upcoming tests while sitting idly at his desk, more for a lack of anything better to do than some sense of obligation towards his education.á And even then, he canÆt seem to find it within him to focus on that.á He is not alone in his boredom.á Only half the class is still awake, those who found alternate means of occupation.á And yet again, one Ayanami Rei is staring out the window at nothing in particular.á Perhaps it is fortunate that Mr. IkariÆs messaging program is running.
A new message pops up from Fu.Arisu@.á Seems our dear professor finally has the list ready.á ôMorning, Ikari-kun.öá Shinji blinks himself awake when his eyes catch the new message.
ôGood morning, sensei,ö he types back quietly.
ôI hope IÆm not disturbing you,ö she writes back quickly.á Well to be fair, she is.á But itÆs only first period nap time.
ôOnly first period nap time,öá Shinji echoes back.
ôLol,ö is ArisuÆs only response to the jibe at the other teacherÆs skills, even though she isnÆt laughing.á ôWell, if you have a minute, I have that list of questions ready for you.ö
ôOkay, I have some time before lunch,ö Shinji answers.
ôAlright, weÆll start from the top.á Are you the best at anything?ö she asks.
ôUhm, no.á I donÆt think so,ö he answers tentatively.á Really, he is the best at something.á But he doesnÆt know it yet.á And itÆs a very small group to begin with.
ôReally?á Anything will work: best majong player, best detective, or best baker.ö
ôNo.á IÆm not any of those.ö
ôOkay.á Do you have any royal or noble blood, to the best of your knowledge?ö
ôNo.á I donÆt.ö
ôAlright, do you ascribe to any out-dated or overly romantic code of honor: a knightÆs or samuraiÆs code?ö
ôNo.á What does that have to do with a voice in my head?ö
ôIÆm getting to it, Shinji-kun.á I have to rule out a lot of potential stories here.á IÆve already determined that you are not Akagi, Sherlock Holmes, Kazuma Azuma, Prince Hamlet, King Lear, or Don Quixote.á ArenÆt you glad you that you donÆt have to joust with a windmill?ö
Shinji stops to think about that one.á He canÆt help but imagine himself in a homemade suit of armor made from pots and pans running at a windmill with a broom as his lance.á ItÆs a silly image.á ôYes.á IÆm glad that I donÆt have to joust with a windmill.ö
ôMay I continue then?ö
ôYes, you may.ö
ôAlright.á Have you recently reconnected with any lost or estranged family members?ö
Shinji blinks and takes a gulp of air.á ôYes.á My,ö he hesitates to type in the last part, ôfather.ö
ôI see.á And what does your father do?ö
Shinji knows he canÆt answer that.á ôI donÆt think I can answer that.á ItÆs supposed to be secret,ö he types in the box.
ôI mean in the most general sense.á For instance, is he a scientist or a military leader?ö
ôYes.á He is.ö
ôOh?á Which one?ö
ôThe leader.ö
ôI see.á And what does this organization do?ö Shinji hesitates to answer again.á ôI mean in the most general sense.á Is fighting kaiju sized monsters a major operational goal?ö
ôYes,ö Shinji answers back with some great hesitation.á This is getting a little too close to home for his comfort.
ôOh dear,ö Arisu answers worriedly.á ôThat could be bad.ö
ôHow so?ö Shinji is frightened now.á And his anxiety is showing.
ôIÆll explain in a minute.á Alright, did he contact you to operate an experimental weapons platform against said monsters?öá Nail, meet hammer.á Hammer, meet nail.
Shinji takes a good long look at the last question.á There is no way that the professor could have known that.á ôYes,ö Shinji answers with trembling fingers.
ôOh dear.á Well it seems that we have our genre,ö Arisu types back quickly after a few seconds of thought.
ShinjiÆs fingers move furiously as he types back, ôWell, what is it?öá He doesnÆt even care that the rest of the class has caught onto his conversation with the sole exception of the teacher.á That man canÆt hear a damn thing over his own droning.
ôWell Ikari-kun, it seems that you are the protagonist of a mecha series,ö she types back slowly.
Shinji couldnÆt help but wonder.á ôIs that bad?ö he asked.
Arisu mulls it over for a second.á ôWell, it could be very good or very bad.öá Shinji just stares at her response.á She carefully adds, ôOn the good end, piloting a mech could be the solution to all your problems including romantic troubles and tooth decay.á On the bad end, it could end with everyone in the world except you and maybe a love interest dead and the world turned to ash.á ItÆs always a mixed bag with mecha fiction.öá Shinji couldnÆt think of anything to say to this.á On one hand, this could lead him to be happy for probably the first time in his life.á On the other, this could kill everything he knows and loves.á Well, now he can think of something to say.
ôWell,ö one student behind him remarks leaning over toward Shinji, ôwhat are you going to say?ö
ôShiro!ö the girl next to Shinji exclaims with a shushing motion, ôlet him finish.ö
ôYeah Shiro,ö Kensuke says from closer to the back of the class, ôyouÆll give him stage fright.ö
ôAll of you! Sit down and pay attention!ö Hikari yells from next to her deck.
ôAww come on Class Rep!á The old manÆs just telling the same story he told every day this week.á And IkariÆs antics are way more interesting than that,ö an anonymous student remarks from the back.
ôLook, even if I agree with you, we still have to keep up appearances, okay,ö Hikari is facing the rest of the class now.á The rest of the class grumbled their ascent to HikariÆs continued dominance of their lives as Hikari quietly enjoyed her control.á ôAs you were, Ikari.ö Hikari mewled sweetly.
Shinji looked back to his laptop to see a new message from Arisu, ôAre you okay Ikari-kun?ö
ôIÆm alright, I guess.á My classmates were just being,ö he hesitated while he thought of a descriptor, ôrowdy.á So how do we find out which end IÆll get?öá He asked finally.
ôWell, itÆs all about the tone of the work youÆre in, classically set up between good ends (comedy) and bad ends (tragedy).öá she types back quickly.
ôBut how do we tell the difference between the two from inside?ö
ôWell, there are two ways I can think of right off.á You could watch for the tide of events as they happen, battles and such.á But by that time, itÆs far too late to do anything to fix it.á The other key difference between comedy and tragedy is how they treat love.ö
ôLove?ö
ôYes, love.á In a comedy, your love interest will be a...shallow one.á Her or his problems will be solved within a confined time-span and will never reoccur.á In a tragedy, your love interestÆs problems will most likely destroy the both of you.öá Shinji stares at ArisuÆs last response.á He barely even registers the chime of the lunch bell.
ôSo,ö he types in finally, ôif IÆm going to figure out where this story is heading, I need to get,ö he hesitates to type in the last bit, ôa girlfriend?ö
ôExactly.ö Arisu responds.
ôOkay,ö Shinji responds, ôThat was the lunch bell.á I have to go now.ö
ôGo eat, Shinji-kun.á WeÆll talk another time.öá And with that, Shinji gets up to go eat his lunch.