Bleach [vshort]To The Victor
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Well there is the fact that Soifon isn't trying to actually bed Ichigo either, just escape with him. She might spend more time trying to explain that to his clearly deranged wife than fighting so he'll still agree to take her with them when they leave.
Now if it would come out that Yoruichi-sama has a claim too... that might be a different kettle of fish. :snigger:
Now if it would come out that Yoruichi-sama has a claim too... that might be a different kettle of fish. :snigger:
Yamamoto had to admit that watching Retsu try to utterly decimate someone was like watching poetry in motion. In fact, if she wasn't doing her level best to skewer HIM in front of his grandson he would have most likely commented on the perfection of her fighting form.
Or at least on how shapely she really was without her captain's haori. Only Rangiku really out shined her in terms of curves.
Still there was something else to consider in all this as he tried to make sure he lived long enough to see great-grandchildren (and make his wayward son pay for abandoning his devoted father to the less than tender mercies of his son's #1 fangirl).
"You know, Unohana-san something occurs to me," Yamamoto said , his voice calm and cool as he evaded a slash that would have easily disemboweled him.
"And what is that, sou-taicho?" Unohana asked with equal calm as she tried to sever her commander's head and managed to shave off three whiskers from his beard.
"The best solution to this situation might not actually be to come after me," Yamamoto replied.
"Oh?" Retsu responded as she made another attack.
"Indeed. After all, as a currently unseated Shinigami you lack the duties and responsibilities you had as a Captain. That could offer the opportunity for vacation time. Perhaps in... the living world?" Yamamoto offered with a sly grin that was mostly hidden by his rather substantial beard.
Retsu was not foolish enough pause in her attacks, but her pace became slightly less troublesome for the leader of the Gotei 13 as she considered what he just said.
"Why I would wager he must be extremely lonely after all this time without his wife. He could certainly take comfort from an old friend. Especially one that shared his current fascination with medicine," Yamamoto added.
"Poor Isshin-kun has been all alone," Unohana conceded with a glint in her eye. Not only was he alone, but the rest of those hussies that used to chase him had either given up or had no real idea where he was, now.
"Kurosaki-taicho, would you say that your father has felt lonely?" Yamamoto shouted back toward his grandson as Unohana's pace at trying to kill him slowed even more.
Ichigo-first instinct was to be contrary to whatever the old Shinigami was planning, although a part of him wanted to smile at the thought of the matronly former head of the Fourth Division making his old man as miserable as Isshin teneded to make Ichigo. Like many husbands, though, the decision was robbed from him by his wife as Rukia chimed in, "He's always crying and talking t a poster he has of his wife that's hung in the living room of the house. I would say Isshin-otousama is very lonely, Soutaicho."
That little tidbit stopped Retsu altogether as the gears ij her mind began to turn. "Well maybe I could take a small breather now that things here will begin to calm down."
By this point Ichigo figured his dad was screwed either way and it was better to back Rukia than rock the boat as he suggested, "He has mentioned he could use some help in the Clinic for when Karin and Yuzu are at school."
"Isshin-kun and I working together, almost like man and wife?" Unohana commented to herself as he eyes began to sparkle in a way that made everyone save Yamamoto and Ukitake back up a step. Even Kenpachi, fresh form his voctory over Byakuya was unsettled by the look crossing the woman's face.
Revenge is mine, brat. And maybe I can make the two of you and Ichigo drag that slacker Urahara back to deal with Mayuri. I'm sick of being ordered to clean up his messes because he has pictures of half of Central 46 from that night in the "Clubs" in the Zaraki District. Yamamoto thought with a mad chuckle. Fortunately for all near him, he had the sense to keep that laughter internal.
Or at least on how shapely she really was without her captain's haori. Only Rangiku really out shined her in terms of curves.
Still there was something else to consider in all this as he tried to make sure he lived long enough to see great-grandchildren (and make his wayward son pay for abandoning his devoted father to the less than tender mercies of his son's #1 fangirl).
"You know, Unohana-san something occurs to me," Yamamoto said , his voice calm and cool as he evaded a slash that would have easily disemboweled him.
"And what is that, sou-taicho?" Unohana asked with equal calm as she tried to sever her commander's head and managed to shave off three whiskers from his beard.
"The best solution to this situation might not actually be to come after me," Yamamoto replied.
"Oh?" Retsu responded as she made another attack.
"Indeed. After all, as a currently unseated Shinigami you lack the duties and responsibilities you had as a Captain. That could offer the opportunity for vacation time. Perhaps in... the living world?" Yamamoto offered with a sly grin that was mostly hidden by his rather substantial beard.
Retsu was not foolish enough pause in her attacks, but her pace became slightly less troublesome for the leader of the Gotei 13 as she considered what he just said.
"Why I would wager he must be extremely lonely after all this time without his wife. He could certainly take comfort from an old friend. Especially one that shared his current fascination with medicine," Yamamoto added.
"Poor Isshin-kun has been all alone," Unohana conceded with a glint in her eye. Not only was he alone, but the rest of those hussies that used to chase him had either given up or had no real idea where he was, now.
"Kurosaki-taicho, would you say that your father has felt lonely?" Yamamoto shouted back toward his grandson as Unohana's pace at trying to kill him slowed even more.
Ichigo-first instinct was to be contrary to whatever the old Shinigami was planning, although a part of him wanted to smile at the thought of the matronly former head of the Fourth Division making his old man as miserable as Isshin teneded to make Ichigo. Like many husbands, though, the decision was robbed from him by his wife as Rukia chimed in, "He's always crying and talking t a poster he has of his wife that's hung in the living room of the house. I would say Isshin-otousama is very lonely, Soutaicho."
That little tidbit stopped Retsu altogether as the gears ij her mind began to turn. "Well maybe I could take a small breather now that things here will begin to calm down."
By this point Ichigo figured his dad was screwed either way and it was better to back Rukia than rock the boat as he suggested, "He has mentioned he could use some help in the Clinic for when Karin and Yuzu are at school."
"Isshin-kun and I working together, almost like man and wife?" Unohana commented to herself as he eyes began to sparkle in a way that made everyone save Yamamoto and Ukitake back up a step. Even Kenpachi, fresh form his voctory over Byakuya was unsettled by the look crossing the woman's face.
Revenge is mine, brat. And maybe I can make the two of you and Ichigo drag that slacker Urahara back to deal with Mayuri. I'm sick of being ordered to clean up his messes because he has pictures of half of Central 46 from that night in the "Clubs" in the Zaraki District. Yamamoto thought with a mad chuckle. Fortunately for all near him, he had the sense to keep that laughter internal.
I know I'm being a necro here but I don't care because I can't not read through this and not exclaim just how freaken awesome it is :hail: :hail: :yay: :hail: :yay: :hail: :hail:
But I was wondering....How come no one has challenged Komamura taichou? And for that matter, what the hell is Yachiru up to?
As hilarious as this would be, I think there are some rules that don't allow non shinigami to become captains. But if Ishida where to mysteriously die and become a shinigami, who would question the legitimacy of his being forced to take over squad 12? And if Nemu Kurotsuchi were to be asked about the dissapearance of her father/taicho, well no one would bother thinking twice after seeing her smile and walk away without saying anything :rofl: :rofl:
Another question is how will Aizen get the Hogyoku from Aizen now? I mean instead of all the Captains being scattered around the Seireitei, they're all right there near her :huh.: So how is he gonna get past all of them to retrieve it?
And finally....What the hell is going on with Toshiro and Rangiku and what the hell are they doing when all this is going down :huh.: :huh.:
But I was wondering....How come no one has challenged Komamura taichou? And for that matter, what the hell is Yachiru up to?
As hilarious as this would be, I think there are some rules that don't allow non shinigami to become captains. But if Ishida where to mysteriously die and become a shinigami, who would question the legitimacy of his being forced to take over squad 12? And if Nemu Kurotsuchi were to be asked about the dissapearance of her father/taicho, well no one would bother thinking twice after seeing her smile and walk away without saying anything :rofl: :rofl:
Another question is how will Aizen get the Hogyoku from Aizen now? I mean instead of all the Captains being scattered around the Seireitei, they're all right there near her :huh.: So how is he gonna get past all of them to retrieve it?
And finally....What the hell is going on with Toshiro and Rangiku and what the hell are they doing when all this is going down :huh.: :huh.:
Ask and ye shall receive.
*******************************************
On a normal day, the sight of Rangiku Matsumoto running at top speed towards, well, anywhere really would have been a sight that Toushiro Hitsugaya quietly appreciated. Indeed, the unspoken reason he had allowed Matsumoto to continue in her position as Vice-Captain of the 10th despite her slacking, drinking, and generally lackadaisical attitude was that when she fell asleep on his couch, it did all sorts of interesting things for her physique.
Well, that and the sex. But that was something only known about by a handful of people: Urahara, because of the hidden cameras he'd put throughout Seireitei; Aizen, who occasionally usurped that network for his own purposes; Gin, because he occasionally usurped that network to keep an eye on Matsumoto; Hinamori, because of one drunken evening about which the only thing Hitsugaya remembered was that Momo's ass lived up to her name; and every member of Divisions Seven through Thirteen, because they lived and worked in earshot.
But, amazingly enough, there were a few things that could put the mind of a man currently halfway through 50 years adolescence completely off the subject of sex. One of them was the fact that apparently the entirety of the Central 46 had been turned into a demonstration that someone needed to work on their taxidermy skills.
The other was the sight that greeted the Captain and Vice-Captain of the Tenth Division as they reached the execution grounds, intent on informing the assembled officers that the entire execution was based on a lie.
"..................."
"..................."
Both of them just stared mutely at the unfolding devastation for a while as their brains finished confirming that they weren't just hallucinating from the residual stench of poorly tanned leather. Unsurprisingly, Hitsugaya's brain was the first to finish rebooting.
"Soooooo...tell me again why we were in such a hurry to get here, Matsumoto? Because if you'd listened to me, we could have just gone back to headquarters and quietly rejoiced in the fact that the amount of paperwork you'd have to ignore and I'd have to do is about to go down significantly. And, you know, avoided this whole mess while getting plastered like a wall that the Fourth Division's been cleaning."
Finally snapping out of her stupor, Matsumoto looking uncharacteristically thoughtful as she formulated her reply.
"Well, because I was sure that the amount of paperwork we'd have to do to explain how the hell nobody noticed that what passes for our government was butchered and then left to dry-age would more than make up for the savings caused by their richly deserv-I mean, horrible deaths. But somehow I don't think that paperwork is the old bastard's biggest problem at the moment."
"I'll say. By the way, is it just me or is that Gin getting whaled on like Moby Dick over there?"
"I think so. Funny, he didn't used to have any problems with double pene-"
"If you finish that sentence I won't rescue you the next time Mayuri asks you to 'explain certain facts of life to my daughter'"
"Point taken. Speaking of which, I think Shunsui just removed Gin's spleen. Doesn't he need that."
"No, I'm pretty sure that was one of his kidneys."
"Oh, no problem then, that's why you have two."
"Indeed. Popcorn?"
"Please."
Unfortunately for both of our intrepid shinigami, the time spent in the above reverie would probably have been better spent simply leaving quietly before anyone noticed.
As it turned out, they didn't even have enough time left to enjoy the popcorn.
***********************************************************
I don't know whether I'll keep running with this train of thought, but if I do I can promise a few things will occur: the word "Whitey" will be uttered by Tousen, the 10th Division will have a new captain, and we'll find out why Yachiru still looks like she's five despite being about the same age as Byakuya. Next time on To the Victor: "Hell Hath No Fury Like a Pink-Haired Loli"!
*******************************************
On a normal day, the sight of Rangiku Matsumoto running at top speed towards, well, anywhere really would have been a sight that Toushiro Hitsugaya quietly appreciated. Indeed, the unspoken reason he had allowed Matsumoto to continue in her position as Vice-Captain of the 10th despite her slacking, drinking, and generally lackadaisical attitude was that when she fell asleep on his couch, it did all sorts of interesting things for her physique.
Well, that and the sex. But that was something only known about by a handful of people: Urahara, because of the hidden cameras he'd put throughout Seireitei; Aizen, who occasionally usurped that network for his own purposes; Gin, because he occasionally usurped that network to keep an eye on Matsumoto; Hinamori, because of one drunken evening about which the only thing Hitsugaya remembered was that Momo's ass lived up to her name; and every member of Divisions Seven through Thirteen, because they lived and worked in earshot.
But, amazingly enough, there were a few things that could put the mind of a man currently halfway through 50 years adolescence completely off the subject of sex. One of them was the fact that apparently the entirety of the Central 46 had been turned into a demonstration that someone needed to work on their taxidermy skills.
The other was the sight that greeted the Captain and Vice-Captain of the Tenth Division as they reached the execution grounds, intent on informing the assembled officers that the entire execution was based on a lie.
"..................."
"..................."
Both of them just stared mutely at the unfolding devastation for a while as their brains finished confirming that they weren't just hallucinating from the residual stench of poorly tanned leather. Unsurprisingly, Hitsugaya's brain was the first to finish rebooting.
"Soooooo...tell me again why we were in such a hurry to get here, Matsumoto? Because if you'd listened to me, we could have just gone back to headquarters and quietly rejoiced in the fact that the amount of paperwork you'd have to ignore and I'd have to do is about to go down significantly. And, you know, avoided this whole mess while getting plastered like a wall that the Fourth Division's been cleaning."
Finally snapping out of her stupor, Matsumoto looking uncharacteristically thoughtful as she formulated her reply.
"Well, because I was sure that the amount of paperwork we'd have to do to explain how the hell nobody noticed that what passes for our government was butchered and then left to dry-age would more than make up for the savings caused by their richly deserv-I mean, horrible deaths. But somehow I don't think that paperwork is the old bastard's biggest problem at the moment."
"I'll say. By the way, is it just me or is that Gin getting whaled on like Moby Dick over there?"
"I think so. Funny, he didn't used to have any problems with double pene-"
"If you finish that sentence I won't rescue you the next time Mayuri asks you to 'explain certain facts of life to my daughter'"
"Point taken. Speaking of which, I think Shunsui just removed Gin's spleen. Doesn't he need that."
"No, I'm pretty sure that was one of his kidneys."
"Oh, no problem then, that's why you have two."
"Indeed. Popcorn?"
"Please."
Unfortunately for both of our intrepid shinigami, the time spent in the above reverie would probably have been better spent simply leaving quietly before anyone noticed.
As it turned out, they didn't even have enough time left to enjoy the popcorn.
***********************************************************
I don't know whether I'll keep running with this train of thought, but if I do I can promise a few things will occur: the word "Whitey" will be uttered by Tousen, the 10th Division will have a new captain, and we'll find out why Yachiru still looks like she's five despite being about the same age as Byakuya. Next time on To the Victor: "Hell Hath No Fury Like a Pink-Haired Loli"!
Sandman, you've left us on a cliffhanger for nearly four months now. Mind kicking back into gear?
I can at least provide this as a possible incentive:
- - - - - - -
It was at this moment, Aizen had decided enough was enough, and he did need to rescue his co-conspirators. After all, their insurance policies didn't start for another month. It would be poor form for him, as their employer, to let them perish before he could reap the benefits of their demises.
A garganta opened, and Aizen stepped out. Calmly, he batted Ikkaku away from Tousen, and summoned a Negaci?n from above to rescue Gin.
"Ah, parting is such sweet sorrow, but I require my loyal comrades for the purposes of my ascent to godhood." Another garganta opened high above him and drew his allies upwards.
"Well, the timing is all off. I had this wonderful speech to give, but it seems that it will have to wait for another time," Aizen spoke loudly to the gathered Shinigami. "So, I must improvise. Shatter, Kyka Suigetsu."
While the Shinigami were distracted, Aizen flashstepped over to Rukia, and using the technique Urahara had created, he quickly extracted the Hgyoku from her.
"AHHHHHH! I-ICHIGO!" She screamed, snapping Ichigo out of the illusion. Seeing Aizen holding his wife, he snarled and charged, going to Bankai in an instant. The blast of energy from the release sent Aizen flying, as Ichigo took Rukia into his free arm and leaped away.
"Admirable, young human, but ultimately irrelevant," Aizen said, holding up the Orb of Distortion.
"Not to me, Four Eyes! Now what the hell is going on?!" Ichigo demanded.
"As I said, I did have a great big speech planned out, but I'll have to cut things short. Ahem: I have the Hgyoku, which Urahara hid in the body of young Rukia here. I needed to get my hands on it, so I had her arrested and sentenced to die. Then you and your friend came in, admirably causing a great deal of chaos that both aided and hindered my plan. So now, I'm off to become a god. In the words of your generation, 'k thnx bye.'" With that, Aizen opened his own garganta, and jumped through, leaving a rather stunned group of Shinigami behind.
"... Um... Did we miss something?" Asked Yoruichi, shaking her head free of the cloud of Aizen's shikai.
I can at least provide this as a possible incentive:
- - - - - - -
It was at this moment, Aizen had decided enough was enough, and he did need to rescue his co-conspirators. After all, their insurance policies didn't start for another month. It would be poor form for him, as their employer, to let them perish before he could reap the benefits of their demises.
A garganta opened, and Aizen stepped out. Calmly, he batted Ikkaku away from Tousen, and summoned a Negaci?n from above to rescue Gin.
"Ah, parting is such sweet sorrow, but I require my loyal comrades for the purposes of my ascent to godhood." Another garganta opened high above him and drew his allies upwards.
"Well, the timing is all off. I had this wonderful speech to give, but it seems that it will have to wait for another time," Aizen spoke loudly to the gathered Shinigami. "So, I must improvise. Shatter, Kyka Suigetsu."
While the Shinigami were distracted, Aizen flashstepped over to Rukia, and using the technique Urahara had created, he quickly extracted the Hgyoku from her.
"AHHHHHH! I-ICHIGO!" She screamed, snapping Ichigo out of the illusion. Seeing Aizen holding his wife, he snarled and charged, going to Bankai in an instant. The blast of energy from the release sent Aizen flying, as Ichigo took Rukia into his free arm and leaped away.
"Admirable, young human, but ultimately irrelevant," Aizen said, holding up the Orb of Distortion.
"Not to me, Four Eyes! Now what the hell is going on?!" Ichigo demanded.
"As I said, I did have a great big speech planned out, but I'll have to cut things short. Ahem: I have the Hgyoku, which Urahara hid in the body of young Rukia here. I needed to get my hands on it, so I had her arrested and sentenced to die. Then you and your friend came in, admirably causing a great deal of chaos that both aided and hindered my plan. So now, I'm off to become a god. In the words of your generation, 'k thnx bye.'" With that, Aizen opened his own garganta, and jumped through, leaving a rather stunned group of Shinigami behind.
"... Um... Did we miss something?" Asked Yoruichi, shaking her head free of the cloud of Aizen's shikai.