Harry Potter Wow... I never thought anyone could fail this much

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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#1
#1
Sooo... I was browsing an Italian messageboard, and I come across a topic titled...

*drumroll*

HARRY POTTER VS. ELMINSTER.

-_- -_- -_- -_-

Okay, overlooking the fact that fully trained HP mages would get trashed by any mid-level mage in D&D, we're talking about an arch wizard that would make Voldemort run to his mommy crying in fear. How the HELL can anyone compare El to anybody from HP, much less Harry himself?

Sigh...
 
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Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#2
#2
I practically laughed myself silly when I saw exactly whom Harry would go against. :lol: Yeah... I think some people need to get a reality-check, HP wizards suck compared to almost ANY other magic system. The only thing they might have going for them is the 'unblockable, insta-kill' spell. But to most other fandoms, that thing is so easily dodged it isn't even funny.

I saw a similar topic at one point with "Harry Potter (and/or various other wizards) VS. Ranma Saotome." The topic went with people speculating on the circumstances (Oh, what if Harry used a time-turner after he got his ass handed to him?), but someone posted something that I agreed with fully.

"to people who think HP wizards can win against Ranma: you guys are fucking idiots. The end." :lol:
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#3
#3
Fatuous One said:
"to people who think HP wizards can win against Ranma: you guys are fucking idiots. The end." :lol:
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WORD. Whoever said that fucking wins. :D
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#5
#5
Fatuous One said:
His username is Thermopyle, and yes he does win. He's somewhat crude at times, but yeah, he's quite awesome, I thnik. :lol:
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Got a link to the thread where this happened?
 
H

Hawk

Well-Known Member
#7
#7
Unstoppable killing curse? Meh, wingardium leviosa something in front of the big bad green ray and ta-daa! Problem solved. :)
 
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Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#8
#8
Never said it was unstoppable, but it's been said that it's unblockable. Of course, what wizards really mean is that you can't block it with any spell. You'll notice that they'll mostly all too stupid (or too lazy) to do as you say.

But hey, they've never really been mistaken for being intelligent, eh?
 
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Israfel

Well-Known Member
#9
#9
Yah really, it's been mentioned in fics innumerouble that wizards lack what seems to be any form of common sense, just like with Snape's potion puzzle in the first book Hermione comments that it's such a good puzzle because it makes you use the one thing most wizards lack, logic.
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#10
#10
Israfel said:
Yah really, it's been mentioned in fics innumerouble that wizards lack what seems to be any form of common sense, just like with Snape's potion puzzle in the first book Hermione comments that it's such a good puzzle because it makes you use the one thing most wizards lack, logic.
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You know, I just realized that if Harry was evil, he'd basically be this guy.

Lezard Valeth is an insane alchemist/necromancer who is seeking the Philosopher's Stone in order to attain godhood and conquer the goddess of his dreams.

He's a total nutjob who can create extremely powerful homunculi, is capable of summoning demons and undead, can cast magic strong enough to hurt and kill even the Norse gods and has a penchant for saying disturbing things and laughing like a maniac while he fries you. :lol:

Mind you, his former classmate Mystina is nearly as insane, but Lezard has TEH POWER. Evil Potter, indeed.
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#12
#12
Fatuous One said:
Ahh, Lezard, I found that guy as funny as hell. BTW, if you use the analogy, perhaps that means Mystina is... Hermione?
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Yeah. Mystina herself said she was the one who paid attention during lectures, IIRC. XD
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#14
#14
Fatuous One said:
Heheheh... That might make an interesting fic idea, ya'know. A Valkyire Profile/Harry Potter Fusion, with Harry as Lezard. :D
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Or Lezard as Harry. Hogwarts would know ultimate terror, then. Voldemort who? :lol:
 
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Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#15
#15
Considering how powerful Lezard is, and how weak all the HP wizards are... no contest. :D

But that's why a complete fusion/crossover is needed. Loki aiding Voldemort would cause a bit of a problem. Or, hell, have Voldemort be one of Loki's children, he already has a bunch of fucked up kids.
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#16
#16
Fatuous One said:
Considering how powerful Lezard is, and how weak all the HP wizards are... no contest. :D

But that's why a complete fusion/crossover is needed. Loki aiding Voldemort would cause a bit of a problem. Or, hell, have Voldemort be one of Loki's children, he already has a bunch of fucked up kids.
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It's not like Lezard would care if the world blows up, so long as he gets to be with Lenneth.

Speaking of which, who would Lenneth play as?
 
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Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#17
#17
Herself, of course.

There are very few mortal equivalents to the (Norse) gods, and most certainly not any of the HP characters. (Although, I suppose TECHNICALLY Lenneth isnÆt a god, at first, anyway)
 
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Mighty Bob

Well-Known Member
#18
#18
Only on for like, seconds, just wanted to say you guys are the best. Huge fan of Norse Mythology so VP is one of my favorite all time games ^_^ And if you wrote a HP/VP fusion/crossover I think I'd have to consider setting up some sorta religion or temple to your Greatness.
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#19
#19
Mighty Bob said:
Only on for like, seconds, just wanted to say you guys are the best. Huge fan of Norse Mythology so VP is one of my favorite all time games ^_^ And if you wrote a HP/VP fusion/crossover I think I'd have to consider setting up some sorta religion or temple to your Greatness.
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Eh, as I said, I'm not very familiar with HP. I know basically everything there is to know about VP to the point I could beat it in my sleep, but... that'd be only half of the mix.
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#20
#20
And continuing on the 'HP fanboys fail at life' vein...

Now some moron says a killing curse could stop a Tarrasque. :sweat:

I don't think they understand exactly what the Hell a Tarrasque is... :no:
 
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random1377

Well-Known Member
#21
#21
GenocideHeart said:
And continuing on the 'HP fanboys fail at life' vein...

Now some moron says a killing curse could stop a Tarrasque. :sweat:

I don't think they understand exactly what the Hell a Tarrasque is... :no:
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A killing curse could not stop the Tarrasque.

The only reason the Tarrasque even exists is to kill off god-level characters, because the only way to kill it is to slowly strip down the 452 layers of armor (some of which are specially taylered to repel certain attacks) and then bring it to -30 HP and use a goddamn wish spell to WISH it dead! And that's if you can avoid its bite (which acts like a vorpal sword) and it's tail (which can level the Sears Tower with one hit).

A killing curse indeed... :angry:
 
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ttestagr

Well-Known Member
#22
#22
....


....


....


It's funny, but I picked up a D&D monster guide today and saw the Tarrasque page. Otherwise I would have no clue what it was.
 
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GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#23
#23
Not surprising you wouldn't know. Most actual D&D players don't know what a Tarrasque is, and those who do are still busy patching their dismembered characters back together. :snigger:

Those things are VICIOUS.
 
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Moshulel

Well-Known Member
#24
#24
GenocideHeart said:
And continuing on the 'HP fanboys fail at life' vein...

Now some moron says a killing curse could stop a Tarrasque. :sweat:

I don't think they understand exactly what the Hell a Tarrasque is... :no:
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:headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger:

Ah i was supposed to post? Forgive me but i have something to do...

:headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger:

How the heck can they say that?

Geez, talk about fanboys.
 
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FH_Meta

Well-Known Member
#25
#25
Actually, assuming the Tarrasque had the right sense of humor and knew what the spell did, you might manage to stop it for a little as it laughed at how badly you FAILED!

Not that it would be stopped for long, but that half second might be enough. I might also have some sea front property in Arizona to sell you.
 
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