Something I noticed when I was re-reading the entire thread and came across your list of knocked up hookers.
Tsunade
Naoko
Shizune
Yuugao
Kurenai
Anko
Sakura
Ino
Hinata
Tenten
Ayame
Hana
Suzume (Academy teacher)
Tsubaki (Mizuki's old fiance')
Temari
3 Random Female Villagers
And a big maybe (Yugito)
Okay, you list quiet a few women here having the kids.
Tsunade/Naoko I'll count as one person. So that's One.
Shizune had a single kid apparently. That's two.
Mai had a single kid apparently as well. So that's Three.
Kurenai, Anko, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Ayama, Sizume, Tsubaki, Temari, and Two random Villagers are unaccounted for, but let's all assume they have one child each. So that makes twelve more children, for a total of 15.
This is Barring Yugito since we haven't gotten any idea/answer about her.
Now you must be asking yourself just *why* I mentioned this in the first place. Lemme alleviate that burden.
ôLook. I know you want to protect me but youÆre going about it the wrong way. Maeko came to me in the worst way imaginable, but I donÆt fault Naruto for it. He was as much a pawn as we were and even now I doubt he even knows it. Meanwhile IÆve had two years to grow use to the idea. So before you run off trying to get holy retribution on him think about this. There are over 30 kids heÆs fathered and heæs only sixteen years old. ThatÆs punishment enough.ö
OVER thirty kids fathered?! We'll assume thirty one for now.
Okay, given the informaion provided above, we have Tsunade/Noako with one, Shizune with one, and Mai with one.
We have at the very list twenty eight kids unaccounted for here and only twelve confirmed women (13 if Yugito as well) to split up between them!
That requires all of them to have twins, and at least two of them with triplets! Four of them having triplets if Yugito isn't included.
That's just to be average! I mean, holy shit! What are the fucking odds of this? No wait, I don't want to know, I'm just gonna assume I'm missing something, cause god damn this can't be possible...
And if it is, damn, Naruto's gonna be in for pure hell.
Hahaha. Better him then me, tho.