Evangelion Evangelion Time Loop
- Thread starter Innortal
- Start date
******
One of the many advantages of having your father Awake in the Loops every now and then is that the term 'hate you for the rest of my life' has become a bit redundant, as that would entail lots of eye-rolling, followed by a mix of beratement and insults being flung between the father and the son. But after a few thousand 'years' of such hate, things tended to get a little boring and dull. And frankly, doing the same scenarios again and again became boring and dull, and nothing Gendo, or Shinji, ever did, no matter what choices, somehow, inexplicably, when those two were Looping together, Third Impact would start by the end of the year.
So, after the ten thousandth 3I, father and son finally looked into resolving their differences. Said resolution involved the two in the Octagon, whaling on each other until both were bloody black and blue. Neither would admit to be the fault, but somehow, their little closure with simple fisticuffs blew to such out-of-proportions, their personal spat sparked into a full-waged WAR between men and women, to such an extent that they lived in two separate planets, where they continued the now inter-stellar war.
The other Anchor to that Fused Loop, Hibiki Tokai, didn't care either way when he found out eventually, as he had been busy laughing his ass off telling the other Loopers. Rei, Asuka, and Ritsuko had never let the two live it down.
So, with their past problems resolved, and vowing never to do that ever again, father and son found themselves bored. So, looking to alleviate their boredom, father and son began pranking each other. Gendo did his pranks with graceful Magnificent Bastardry, while Shinji did his childish Refuge in Audacity.
Need not be said that Gendo's definition of graceful Magnificent Bastardry in pranks, after so many Loops, equated to Section 2 stealing all the key NERV female personel's underwear and flagging them around the city, while Shinji's definition of childish Refuge in Audacity equated in him tricking the same NERV female personel into drinking alcohol laced with sleeping pills, and having them wake up to a bed beside various farm animals. How this pranked the other, neither would elaborate.
One Loop, during a private discussion on what the other was planning to do in this Loop, the son threw in a suggestion about a prank. Intrigued, the father asked to elaborate, and the son did. What happened then was both parent and child deciding to work together for this prank. Though both resolved to do it the next Home Loop they were Looping together.
Which brought the both of them to this current situation...
<hr>
Their scenario was set as Gendo looked on at the magnificent shape of the Ramiel, the Fifth...or was it Sixth? Those Rebuild Loops (as he called the Loops with the non-MP Unit 05) were just plain wierd...floated into their screen.
Both parent and child were to follow the script they remembered as Canon, up til this point exactly. Now, the time was right, the stage was set.
Let the comedy...begin.
"Unit 01, Launch!" Misato commanded.
Things followed through as planned. Now the Evangelion was being besieged by the Angel's intense beam. It wasn't actually, Gendo knew. Shinji's control over the AT Field, after so many Loops, was nigh unmatchable, except for a Looping Rei's, or a Looping Asuka's.
Gendo stood up suddenly, and shouted, "Shinji, you must hold it together!"
People stared as they heard those words spoken over the Third Child's (scripted) scream.
Solemn, the Commander continued, "My Legacy runs within your veins, Shinji." People blinked at that statement of the bastard acknowledging Shinji as his son.
Pained, Shinji grounded out, even as the heat (to the uninformed looker) reached beyond scorching, "F-father?"
"The blood of generations of brave men and women runs through you..." Gendo purposely hesitated as he bowed his head, "...My son." Many people stared at him, determining what the hell was going on.
"...Father..." Ignoring the pain, which was non-existant to the pilot, Shinji stared at his co-conspirator, and nearly smiled when the man looked about either ready to cry, or ready to break down in laughter.
Gendo's head suddenly snapped up, a gleam behind those spectacles, "Now! Embrace your gift, Shinji!" Gendo jumped on his desk, startling everyone. "Embrace your DESTINY!"
Shinji gained a determined look in his eyes, as he gripped the controls, "Yes, FATHER!" His hair seemed to glow.
Gendo grabbed the lapels of his coat and shirt, and tore it. People shrieked, unwantedly expecting to see the man's hairy chest. They boggled when they saw...
"A disco suit?" Misato voiced. Indeed, it was a white disco shirt, with matching bell-bottom pants. The shoes were studded with glitter, and gold chains and necklaces dangled from Gendo's neck.
"NOW! EMBRACE... THE FUNK!" Gendo shouted, striking a pose.
-FWUFF!- Everyone still looking at the screen flinched when Shinji's hair jumped, forming...
"An afro?" Makoto Hyuga said, staring at the particularly wicked-looking afro.
The Angel's beam was suddenly redirected sky-wards, just as a disco ball suddenly dropped in the command center from above ground. Disco music began playing from all around as the Evnangelion itself struck a pose.
"Are you FUNKY, Shinji?"
The Angel fired again, but the Eva held out its hand, as it swayed to the rhythm. The beam was deflected by a nearly incandescent AT Field.
"I am FUNKY, Father!" Shinji shouted, as he manipulated his mind and the controls in complex patterns in order for the Evangelion to dance to disco.
"But are you AFRO FUNKY?" Gendo asked again even as he continued to dance.
-FWUFF!- Now the questionably-insane Commander of NERV sported a similar Afro as the just-as-questionable Shinji
The Angel seemed to be panicking now as it fired rapidly. The Eva just deflected it using a series of funky hip-thrusts. Ironically, or coincidentally, one of the defelctions came straight back at the Angel, piercing its core in the process.
Even as the diamond-shaped Angel died, both Gendo and the Evangelion continued to dance to the funky music.
"Yeah! Disco fevah! Shake your groove thang!" Gendo was singing, while Shinji made affirmative grunts to each of the Commander's statements.
All of the people in the bridge slowly, but surely inched for the door. That is, until Misato threw all pretense and bolted, which prompted the others to do the same.
<hr>
Only when they were sure everyone was out of the Command room, and the door closed, did parent and child finally allowed themselves to dissolve into laughter.
To anyone asking, the two would just say that they were having a 'Father-Son Bonding Moment'.
*****
EDIT:
Someone clarify if this has been done before. I know the 'Afro Funky' joke has been done somewhere, but clarify me to the Loop.
One of the many advantages of having your father Awake in the Loops every now and then is that the term 'hate you for the rest of my life' has become a bit redundant, as that would entail lots of eye-rolling, followed by a mix of beratement and insults being flung between the father and the son. But after a few thousand 'years' of such hate, things tended to get a little boring and dull. And frankly, doing the same scenarios again and again became boring and dull, and nothing Gendo, or Shinji, ever did, no matter what choices, somehow, inexplicably, when those two were Looping together, Third Impact would start by the end of the year.
So, after the ten thousandth 3I, father and son finally looked into resolving their differences. Said resolution involved the two in the Octagon, whaling on each other until both were bloody black and blue. Neither would admit to be the fault, but somehow, their little closure with simple fisticuffs blew to such out-of-proportions, their personal spat sparked into a full-waged WAR between men and women, to such an extent that they lived in two separate planets, where they continued the now inter-stellar war.
The other Anchor to that Fused Loop, Hibiki Tokai, didn't care either way when he found out eventually, as he had been busy laughing his ass off telling the other Loopers. Rei, Asuka, and Ritsuko had never let the two live it down.
So, with their past problems resolved, and vowing never to do that ever again, father and son found themselves bored. So, looking to alleviate their boredom, father and son began pranking each other. Gendo did his pranks with graceful Magnificent Bastardry, while Shinji did his childish Refuge in Audacity.
Need not be said that Gendo's definition of graceful Magnificent Bastardry in pranks, after so many Loops, equated to Section 2 stealing all the key NERV female personel's underwear and flagging them around the city, while Shinji's definition of childish Refuge in Audacity equated in him tricking the same NERV female personel into drinking alcohol laced with sleeping pills, and having them wake up to a bed beside various farm animals. How this pranked the other, neither would elaborate.
One Loop, during a private discussion on what the other was planning to do in this Loop, the son threw in a suggestion about a prank. Intrigued, the father asked to elaborate, and the son did. What happened then was both parent and child deciding to work together for this prank. Though both resolved to do it the next Home Loop they were Looping together.
Which brought the both of them to this current situation...
<hr>
Their scenario was set as Gendo looked on at the magnificent shape of the Ramiel, the Fifth...or was it Sixth? Those Rebuild Loops (as he called the Loops with the non-MP Unit 05) were just plain wierd...floated into their screen.
Both parent and child were to follow the script they remembered as Canon, up til this point exactly. Now, the time was right, the stage was set.
Let the comedy...begin.
"Unit 01, Launch!" Misato commanded.
Things followed through as planned. Now the Evangelion was being besieged by the Angel's intense beam. It wasn't actually, Gendo knew. Shinji's control over the AT Field, after so many Loops, was nigh unmatchable, except for a Looping Rei's, or a Looping Asuka's.
Gendo stood up suddenly, and shouted, "Shinji, you must hold it together!"
People stared as they heard those words spoken over the Third Child's (scripted) scream.
Solemn, the Commander continued, "My Legacy runs within your veins, Shinji." People blinked at that statement of the bastard acknowledging Shinji as his son.
Pained, Shinji grounded out, even as the heat (to the uninformed looker) reached beyond scorching, "F-father?"
"The blood of generations of brave men and women runs through you..." Gendo purposely hesitated as he bowed his head, "...My son." Many people stared at him, determining what the hell was going on.
"...Father..." Ignoring the pain, which was non-existant to the pilot, Shinji stared at his co-conspirator, and nearly smiled when the man looked about either ready to cry, or ready to break down in laughter.
Gendo's head suddenly snapped up, a gleam behind those spectacles, "Now! Embrace your gift, Shinji!" Gendo jumped on his desk, startling everyone. "Embrace your DESTINY!"
Shinji gained a determined look in his eyes, as he gripped the controls, "Yes, FATHER!" His hair seemed to glow.
Gendo grabbed the lapels of his coat and shirt, and tore it. People shrieked, unwantedly expecting to see the man's hairy chest. They boggled when they saw...
"A disco suit?" Misato voiced. Indeed, it was a white disco shirt, with matching bell-bottom pants. The shoes were studded with glitter, and gold chains and necklaces dangled from Gendo's neck.
"NOW! EMBRACE... THE FUNK!" Gendo shouted, striking a pose.
-FWUFF!- Everyone still looking at the screen flinched when Shinji's hair jumped, forming...
"An afro?" Makoto Hyuga said, staring at the particularly wicked-looking afro.
The Angel's beam was suddenly redirected sky-wards, just as a disco ball suddenly dropped in the command center from above ground. Disco music began playing from all around as the Evnangelion itself struck a pose.
"Are you FUNKY, Shinji?"
The Angel fired again, but the Eva held out its hand, as it swayed to the rhythm. The beam was deflected by a nearly incandescent AT Field.
"I am FUNKY, Father!" Shinji shouted, as he manipulated his mind and the controls in complex patterns in order for the Evangelion to dance to disco.
"But are you AFRO FUNKY?" Gendo asked again even as he continued to dance.
-FWUFF!- Now the questionably-insane Commander of NERV sported a similar Afro as the just-as-questionable Shinji
The Angel seemed to be panicking now as it fired rapidly. The Eva just deflected it using a series of funky hip-thrusts. Ironically, or coincidentally, one of the defelctions came straight back at the Angel, piercing its core in the process.
Even as the diamond-shaped Angel died, both Gendo and the Evangelion continued to dance to the funky music.
"Yeah! Disco fevah! Shake your groove thang!" Gendo was singing, while Shinji made affirmative grunts to each of the Commander's statements.
All of the people in the bridge slowly, but surely inched for the door. That is, until Misato threw all pretense and bolted, which prompted the others to do the same.
<hr>
Only when they were sure everyone was out of the Command room, and the door closed, did parent and child finally allowed themselves to dissolve into laughter.
To anyone asking, the two would just say that they were having a 'Father-Son Bonding Moment'.
*****
EDIT:
Someone clarify if this has been done before. I know the 'Afro Funky' joke has been done somewhere, but clarify me to the Loop.
Not exactly the snippet I was talking about just yet, just needed to set some things up. Oh, and throw in some hilarity as well. 
*****
To a casual observer, it looked like a man and a teen walking along the many corridors that littered NERV, having what looked to be a rather serious discussion. To anyone actually listening, they would probably go mad trying to make sense of the topic.
It was only a scant few days since The Incident. The Incident, as many people who had been present on the Command Bridge that day insisted, was the fact that both father and son seemed to have simultaneously gained the ability to dance to disco. Of course, seeing this, many ran away, some screaming of Third Impact. Of course, when everyone had calmed down, they mustered the courage to see what was happening in the Command Room. Unwantedly expecting to see the two getting funky again, they were all relieved that the Commander's face was partially covered by his propped hands, while Shinji, on the screen, seemed to be sobbing his heart out.
Of course, what they didn't know was that Gendo was valiantly hiding his grin behind his hands, and Shinji had laughed himself so hard he was virtually crying.
Of course, this was at the same time that they all repressed that memory, vehemently denying it ever happening. Some would just insist that it was a trick done by the Angel.
Then, after recovering the Third Child, and giving everyone a vague 'job-well-done' speech, Gendo and Shinji now found themselves walking along the halls, discussing the coming pranks both were planning.
Gendo planned to put all the personell on edge with random behaviors, while Shinji planned to freak people out with random shtick. Gendo planned on getting Ritsuko first, while Shinji planned on getting his friends, then Asuka upon her arrival within a few weeks.
So now, they found themselves discussing things, all the while keeping a serious face.
"Kaede Agano." Shinji started.
"Too...outgoing for me." Gendo replied.
"Seriously? No, she's actually very submissive in bed." Shinji waggled his eyebrows minutely.
Gendo just raised his, "Really? For everything I know about her, I would have expected her to be constantly on top."
"Pfeh, naw. If you actually know how to work her over, she actually becomes demure, a total wallflower." Shinji paused, then started again, "Aoi Mogami."
Gendo had a fascimile of a smile at that, "Very complex, full of layers, and very, VERY wild once she's hot and rearing."
It was Shinji's turn to raise an eyebrow, "Really? I always thought she was little strict, no-nonsense and all that shit."
Gendo smirked for a second, "Nope. She's actually very deep and meaningful. She's also like one of Misato's sports cars; once you revved her up, there isn't any force that can cool her down..." He leered at an image that appeared in his head, "...That is, except for a nice bucket of ice and a gentle hand."
Both men paused, before they virtually chorused with identical smirks, "And Satsuki Ooi's just plain fun." They both did a quick fist bump and continued on their way, a companiable permeating between them.
The silence was broken when Shinji started to sing a little ditty under his breath.
Gendo blinked. It was actually pretty catchy, "Shinji."
"Hmm?"
"Where did you learn that song?"
"The song? Oh, me and Asuka made it when we Awoke just after Impact."
"...Huh...I like it. Catchy."
"Heh heh, yup."
Gendo lapsed into silence again, as they continued walking the redundantly long corridor, with the words from Shinji's song echoing down the hall.
"Wonder Meat, Wonder Meat
The Post-Apocalyptic meal to beat,
Floating in the Sea of Tang with a smile,
You're gonna eat like a king for awhile."
*****
*****
To a casual observer, it looked like a man and a teen walking along the many corridors that littered NERV, having what looked to be a rather serious discussion. To anyone actually listening, they would probably go mad trying to make sense of the topic.
It was only a scant few days since The Incident. The Incident, as many people who had been present on the Command Bridge that day insisted, was the fact that both father and son seemed to have simultaneously gained the ability to dance to disco. Of course, seeing this, many ran away, some screaming of Third Impact. Of course, when everyone had calmed down, they mustered the courage to see what was happening in the Command Room. Unwantedly expecting to see the two getting funky again, they were all relieved that the Commander's face was partially covered by his propped hands, while Shinji, on the screen, seemed to be sobbing his heart out.
Of course, what they didn't know was that Gendo was valiantly hiding his grin behind his hands, and Shinji had laughed himself so hard he was virtually crying.
Of course, this was at the same time that they all repressed that memory, vehemently denying it ever happening. Some would just insist that it was a trick done by the Angel.
Then, after recovering the Third Child, and giving everyone a vague 'job-well-done' speech, Gendo and Shinji now found themselves walking along the halls, discussing the coming pranks both were planning.
Gendo planned to put all the personell on edge with random behaviors, while Shinji planned to freak people out with random shtick. Gendo planned on getting Ritsuko first, while Shinji planned on getting his friends, then Asuka upon her arrival within a few weeks.
So now, they found themselves discussing things, all the while keeping a serious face.
"Kaede Agano." Shinji started.
"Too...outgoing for me." Gendo replied.
"Seriously? No, she's actually very submissive in bed." Shinji waggled his eyebrows minutely.
Gendo just raised his, "Really? For everything I know about her, I would have expected her to be constantly on top."
"Pfeh, naw. If you actually know how to work her over, she actually becomes demure, a total wallflower." Shinji paused, then started again, "Aoi Mogami."
Gendo had a fascimile of a smile at that, "Very complex, full of layers, and very, VERY wild once she's hot and rearing."
It was Shinji's turn to raise an eyebrow, "Really? I always thought she was little strict, no-nonsense and all that shit."
Gendo smirked for a second, "Nope. She's actually very deep and meaningful. She's also like one of Misato's sports cars; once you revved her up, there isn't any force that can cool her down..." He leered at an image that appeared in his head, "...That is, except for a nice bucket of ice and a gentle hand."
Both men paused, before they virtually chorused with identical smirks, "And Satsuki Ooi's just plain fun." They both did a quick fist bump and continued on their way, a companiable permeating between them.
The silence was broken when Shinji started to sing a little ditty under his breath.
Gendo blinked. It was actually pretty catchy, "Shinji."
"Hmm?"
"Where did you learn that song?"
"The song? Oh, me and Asuka made it when we Awoke just after Impact."
"...Huh...I like it. Catchy."
"Heh heh, yup."
Gendo lapsed into silence again, as they continued walking the redundantly long corridor, with the words from Shinji's song echoing down the hall.
"Wonder Meat, Wonder Meat
The Post-Apocalyptic meal to beat,
Floating in the Sea of Tang with a smile,
You're gonna eat like a king for awhile."
*****
Well, I got the inspiration for the song from a Eva webcomic I read a long time ago, where Shinji and Asuka were wondering around post-Impact. Asuka expressed her irritation over the lack of any substantial meat-products when they were scavenging for anything in the ruins of Tokyo-3. Later, when Shinji was coming back from gathering some firewood/food, Shinji sees Asuka happily eating meat. Asuka invites him to have some, Shinji tastes, and says it was actually pretty good. Shinji then begins to ask where Asuka got the meat, but trails off when he saw the smiling Uber!Rei, looks back at Asuka, then at the meat. Then, he just shrugs and continues eating.
The punchline was that Uber!Rei wasn't smiling. --->
The punchline was that Uber!Rei wasn't smiling.
---> It's made out of <s>PEEEEEEOOOOPPPLEE!</s> nice, supple, white meat.
Jomasten said:
It's made out of <s>PEEEEEEOOOOPPPLEE!</s> nice, supple, white meat.
Hours of my life, wasted...
Jetflash said:
Jomasten said:
It's made out of <s>PEEEEEEOOOOPPPLEE!</s> nice, supple, white meat.
Hours of my life, wasted...
Thank you. I now know I did my job right.
*****
Shinji has undergone a strange transformation...
This was the general consensus amongst the Tokyo-3 High student body, as well as the staff.
None could really place their fingers on why this was so.
I mean, he went to school, the same frumpy haircut, the same frumpy shirt, the same frumpy outlook on life, and, to some women and select men, the same frumpy way he strutted his un-frumpy ass around.
(Somewhere, Shinji shivered, as if feeling violated. And had the need to ban the word 'frumpy', if such a word even existed.)
The only difference that's different about Shinji was that new friend of his, a transfer student named Pastulio.
Now, to describe Pastulio would not be complicated. He was thin, sort of wiry, his arms and legs almost twig-like. He held a sense of sickliness, as if his almost always-green face could attest to, as well as the way his head seemed to lull from side to side, as if full of water. He seemed to share the same <s>frumpy</s> bleak outlook on life as Shinji, which would explain why they have been hanging around together as of late. His weak constitution actually meant that Shinji carried him more often than not. When questioned why Pastulio would not just a wheelchair, Shinji would always reply that Pastulio had pride in himself, the response making even the toughest bullies (that is not Toji Suzuhara) weep in tears, seeing this sickly young-man as a beacon of masculine pride. It was also this same reasoning that seemed to make Pastulio into the school's resident heart throb, as the club could show, with its growing fanbase divided equally amongst the genders, some members even from outside the school.
None really questioned Pastulio's steady rise to fame. But then again, all they had to do was talk with Pastulio, and they become enamored with his resolve.
After two weeks of pondering the mystery surrounding Shinji (and after Pastulio's fanbase began growing outside of Japan) many decided to dismiss this phenomenon. And life went on.
Unrelated in the whole matter, a jar of mayonaise was left outside, and slowly began to spoil.
...Wait a minute...Sorry wrong story.
<hr>
One day, Misato invited Shinji and his friends, Toji, Kensuke, and that darling sickly boy Pastulio, on a date. Toji and Kensuke, being the teenagers that they were, jumped at the chance, assuming something else entirely.
Hours later, after a brief helicopter ride, Kensuke was enjoying the 'date' more than Toji was. Pastulio, ever the silent gentleman, dained to say nothing.
Besides the gentle addition to this group, most events followed Canon, or, as Ranma put it, the destined way things should have gone if the Loops didn't happen, until the quintet finally met the duo of Asuka and Kaji.
Soon, three young-men were slapped hard on their cheeks. Toji and Kensuke noted that Pastulion wasn't hit, even though they saw him looking at the girl's uplifted skirt. Maybe he was awesome like that.
Dusting her hands, Asuka finally asked, "Now, which one of you is the Third Child?"
Toji and Kensuke pointed at the duo of Shinji and Pastulio. Asuka raised an eyebrow at the two.
Walking up to them, she got into Shinji's face, her stare boring into his brain via his eyes.
"Um, y-yes?" Shinji said, sticking to his Canon-self.
After a moment of more staring, Asuka just said, "Hmmph, you don't look much, Third Child." Turning disdainly to Pastulio, she then asked, "And what is that?"
Gesturing to his silent companion, Shinji answered, "Oh, him. He's Pastulio." He pushed Pastulio forward.
Pastulio, shy boy he was, had his head down, not choosing to speak.
Asuka snorted, "Heh, Pastulio?" Turning back to stare at Shinji with contempt again, she continued, "Aren't you a bit too old for childish things like this?"
Toji, Kensuke, Misato, Kaji, and Shinji (who was just playing around, mind) blinked in confusion. Slowly, Shinji began, "Wh-what are you talking about? Pastulio is Pastulio."
"HA!" Asuka all but barked in his face, "Not only is the Third Child so weak-looking, he's even childish enough for dolls!" Asuka laughed.
Misato, now frowning, replied, "Now Asuka. Just because Pastulio's a sickly child, doesn't mean you could be mean to him."
The Second Child turned to look at Misato, "Oh, brother. Stop catering to the little brat's delusions, Misato."
To her surprise, it was a frowning Kaji who answered, "Asuka." He began sternly, earning a wince from the German-born girl, "Stop it. Being a pilot for the Evangelion gives you no right to pick on the weakly."
Asuka stared at Kaji increduously, "Seriously?!" She poined at Pastulio, "I mean look at him!"
Kaji was glaring now, and Asuka trailed off. Grabbing her arm, Kaji turned towards their supposed welcoming group, "I'm sorry about this, guys. Asuka seems to be in a bit of a temper." He looked at Pastulio, "Sorry about this, Pastulio-kun."
As he began dragging Asuka away, they managed to hear their fading heated conversation, "I'm very disappointed in you, Asuka. You had no right to pick on Pastulio like that."
"But COME ON!" Asuka said frantically, gesturing wildly, "It's not even real! It's just a waterballoon with twigs taped on it, a face drawn on it with a marker, and a paper cut-out for a uniform!"
"Asuka!"
While everyone was staring at the direction the duo was disappearing to, Shinji turned towards Pastulio, who stared right back, "I know. I'm as surprised as you are that we got this far."
Pastulio, the green waterballoon with twigs taped to it, its face drawn on with a marker, and a paper cut-out for a uniform, bobbled its green head according to where the boat was rocking.
*****
What do you think: should I continued Shinji and Pastulio's adventure, or should we look into Gendo's prank?
*****
Shinji has undergone a strange transformation...
This was the general consensus amongst the Tokyo-3 High student body, as well as the staff.
None could really place their fingers on why this was so.
I mean, he went to school, the same frumpy haircut, the same frumpy shirt, the same frumpy outlook on life, and, to some women and select men, the same frumpy way he strutted his un-frumpy ass around.
(Somewhere, Shinji shivered, as if feeling violated. And had the need to ban the word 'frumpy', if such a word even existed.)
The only difference that's different about Shinji was that new friend of his, a transfer student named Pastulio.
Now, to describe Pastulio would not be complicated. He was thin, sort of wiry, his arms and legs almost twig-like. He held a sense of sickliness, as if his almost always-green face could attest to, as well as the way his head seemed to lull from side to side, as if full of water. He seemed to share the same <s>frumpy</s> bleak outlook on life as Shinji, which would explain why they have been hanging around together as of late. His weak constitution actually meant that Shinji carried him more often than not. When questioned why Pastulio would not just a wheelchair, Shinji would always reply that Pastulio had pride in himself, the response making even the toughest bullies (that is not Toji Suzuhara) weep in tears, seeing this sickly young-man as a beacon of masculine pride. It was also this same reasoning that seemed to make Pastulio into the school's resident heart throb, as the club could show, with its growing fanbase divided equally amongst the genders, some members even from outside the school.
None really questioned Pastulio's steady rise to fame. But then again, all they had to do was talk with Pastulio, and they become enamored with his resolve.
After two weeks of pondering the mystery surrounding Shinji (and after Pastulio's fanbase began growing outside of Japan) many decided to dismiss this phenomenon. And life went on.
Unrelated in the whole matter, a jar of mayonaise was left outside, and slowly began to spoil.
...Wait a minute...Sorry wrong story.
<hr>
One day, Misato invited Shinji and his friends, Toji, Kensuke, and that darling sickly boy Pastulio, on a date. Toji and Kensuke, being the teenagers that they were, jumped at the chance, assuming something else entirely.
Hours later, after a brief helicopter ride, Kensuke was enjoying the 'date' more than Toji was. Pastulio, ever the silent gentleman, dained to say nothing.
Besides the gentle addition to this group, most events followed Canon, or, as Ranma put it, the destined way things should have gone if the Loops didn't happen, until the quintet finally met the duo of Asuka and Kaji.
Soon, three young-men were slapped hard on their cheeks. Toji and Kensuke noted that Pastulion wasn't hit, even though they saw him looking at the girl's uplifted skirt. Maybe he was awesome like that.
Dusting her hands, Asuka finally asked, "Now, which one of you is the Third Child?"
Toji and Kensuke pointed at the duo of Shinji and Pastulio. Asuka raised an eyebrow at the two.
Walking up to them, she got into Shinji's face, her stare boring into his brain via his eyes.
"Um, y-yes?" Shinji said, sticking to his Canon-self.
After a moment of more staring, Asuka just said, "Hmmph, you don't look much, Third Child." Turning disdainly to Pastulio, she then asked, "And what is that?"
Gesturing to his silent companion, Shinji answered, "Oh, him. He's Pastulio." He pushed Pastulio forward.
Pastulio, shy boy he was, had his head down, not choosing to speak.
Asuka snorted, "Heh, Pastulio?" Turning back to stare at Shinji with contempt again, she continued, "Aren't you a bit too old for childish things like this?"
Toji, Kensuke, Misato, Kaji, and Shinji (who was just playing around, mind) blinked in confusion. Slowly, Shinji began, "Wh-what are you talking about? Pastulio is Pastulio."
"HA!" Asuka all but barked in his face, "Not only is the Third Child so weak-looking, he's even childish enough for dolls!" Asuka laughed.
Misato, now frowning, replied, "Now Asuka. Just because Pastulio's a sickly child, doesn't mean you could be mean to him."
The Second Child turned to look at Misato, "Oh, brother. Stop catering to the little brat's delusions, Misato."
To her surprise, it was a frowning Kaji who answered, "Asuka." He began sternly, earning a wince from the German-born girl, "Stop it. Being a pilot for the Evangelion gives you no right to pick on the weakly."
Asuka stared at Kaji increduously, "Seriously?!" She poined at Pastulio, "I mean look at him!"
Kaji was glaring now, and Asuka trailed off. Grabbing her arm, Kaji turned towards their supposed welcoming group, "I'm sorry about this, guys. Asuka seems to be in a bit of a temper." He looked at Pastulio, "Sorry about this, Pastulio-kun."
As he began dragging Asuka away, they managed to hear their fading heated conversation, "I'm very disappointed in you, Asuka. You had no right to pick on Pastulio like that."
"But COME ON!" Asuka said frantically, gesturing wildly, "It's not even real! It's just a waterballoon with twigs taped on it, a face drawn on it with a marker, and a paper cut-out for a uniform!"
"Asuka!"
While everyone was staring at the direction the duo was disappearing to, Shinji turned towards Pastulio, who stared right back, "I know. I'm as surprised as you are that we got this far."
Pastulio, the green waterballoon with twigs taped to it, its face drawn on with a marker, and a paper cut-out for a uniform, bobbled its green head according to where the boat was rocking.
*****
What do you think: should I continued Shinji and Pastulio's adventure, or should we look into Gendo's prank?
I'm surprised no one's done one of these yet.
* * * * *
The Seventh Angel's carpace mottled and bubbled as the two Children looked on in horror. With a roar, the beast rent itself in two, and now an Angel faced each Evangelion.
Inside the cockpit of EVA Unit-01, Shinji smirked. "Well Asuka, you know what they say about twins - double your pleasure..." The Evangelion reached towards its hip and donned a pair of sunglasses. "Double your fun."
YEEAAAAHH!
* * * * *
The Seventh Angel's carpace mottled and bubbled as the two Children looked on in horror. With a roar, the beast rent itself in two, and now an Angel faced each Evangelion.
Inside the cockpit of EVA Unit-01, Shinji smirked. "Well Asuka, you know what they say about twins - double your pleasure..." The Evangelion reached towards its hip and donned a pair of sunglasses. "Double your fun."
YEEAAAAHH!