Harry Potter Hogwarts Rejection Letters

zerohour

Well-Known Member
#76
Taking it to a new thread seems like a good idea, I'll start one later tonight when I get back.
 

seitora

Well-Known Member
#77
Throw in my initial post there as well while you're at it. Hopefully (I doubt it) it inspires somebody to actually take up on it, even if for just a oneshot!
 

scriviner

Well-Known Member
#78
seitora said:
Throw in my initial post there as well while you're at it. Hopefully (I doubt it) it inspires somebody to actually take up on it, even if for just a oneshot!
I'd really love to give it a shot, but I'm tied up on at least two stories already... but maybe a one shot might be worth a look.
 

jaredstar

Well-Known Member
#79
Dear Hogwarts,

At this time we (that is to say Harry himself, his father and we his mothers) must reject your offer for Harry to attend Hogwarts.

For the last several years we have done our best to give Harry a well rounded education in the ways of magic (amongst other things such as the martial arts and engineering ).

It is felt at this time that to take 10 months out of a given year for seven years to focus solely on a single branch of magic would be detrimental to his development.

That said While Harry will be learning your branch of magic from tutors on loan from the Japanese ministry he has expressed interest in taking a tour of your campus.

Lastly, in recent months Harry has formed 2 way bonds ( Native to his fathers style of magic) with three girls that will attend your school (and according to him given all the trouble his father had with these types of bonds three is all he will ever have). They are Hermione Granger, Sakura Akagi and Daphne Greengrass. Seeing as the owl you sent to us nearly died on arrival any messages you have for Harry can be relayed to us via them.

We thank you for your consideration.

sincerely.

Asuna Springfield
Ayaka Springfield
Yue Springfield
Nodoka Springfield
Chachamaru Springfield


--------------------------------------------------------------------

Well this went longer then i thought it would.

some notes for this.

Sakura Akagi is an actual character... in one of the games (the third)

i decided to have at least one girl of harrys trio be somebody that had never been used before.

the three girls represent the three parts of the Freudian mind and weapon ranges (based on the concept i have worked out in my mind thus far.) respectively they are Hermione-Superego-Long range
Sakura-Ego-Mid range and Daphne-Id-Short Range.

That said this would not be a harry/multi story only one of said girls would develop feelings for Harry beyond friendship.
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#80
New thought, this letter could be life changing for Harry, but maybe not in a good way...

------

A young boy of eleven, apparently, sat alone in the swings, green eyes looking up into the stars, his mind focused on the paper in his hand.

"You okay?"

He looked back to his twin cousin, no, he was actually a bit older now that they knew the truth. Kinda of cool, but totally not worth it.

"What do you think?"

The girl sighed, taking the swing next to him, "Look, I'm sure grandpa and your dad didn't-"

"I'm not mad about that," The boy cut her off, "It's just," he struggled with his thoughts as his green eyes looked into hers, "It's like...my life has been a lie or something, like the me I've always been isn't-"

The red head took his hand, a tear in her eye, "Don't talk like that, never talk like that," she pulled herself out of the swing, standing with her hands on her hips, "Let me tell you something, you're short sighted, impatient, easily distracted, immature-"

"I don't think you get this whole motivation thing, Gwen," the boy sighed, his head dropping, only to feel Gwen lift it by the chin.

"-But you're also brave, usually selfless, and a good kid. I've seen you amazing things and stupid things, because that's who you are. You're my dweeby cousin, that's all that matters, it doesn't matter what your name is or where you came from or who your birth parents are, you're our family now." Gwen smiled down at him, holding out a hand.

Her cousin smiled back, taking her hand, the paper crumpled in the other...

---------------

Dear Professor,

Look, you kinda dropped a bomb on me with that letter. I'll start of with this, I'm not Harry Potter. Maybe I was at some point, but as far as I know, I've always been Ben, and your letter...

Look, I'll just say I'm not coming to school. No offense, but I don't like normal school, having to live at one would suck. If I do want to learn magic and stuff, I can always just learn from my cousin, Gwen. She's kinda geeky, but she's alright.

Besides, I've got important stuff to do around here.

Sorry,

Ben Tennyson
 
#81
Dear Hogwarts,

I must say you are very late in trying to contact me. It seems time goes much faster in this dimension, or it started sooner than yours.

In any case, I do not wish to return, and was already instructed in magic on Megas-Tu. From what I remember of my childhood was nothing worth returning to. I literally transported myself to another reality entirely to get away from that life.

Here I was not seen as worthless freak, but instead a sentient being with dignity and respect. I have seen things you probably couldn't imagine and am doing my best to explore strange new worlds and meet new civilizations.

Plus I am likely too old to go to Hogwarts even if I wanted to.

So in short, never bother me again.

Sincerely,

Captain Harry Potter
USS Io, Luna class ship
 

Amaretto

Well-Known Member
#82
To the Office of Admissions Hogwarts:

We have considered your offer carefully and we respect the educational opportunity this represents. However, Harry has decided to refuse your invitation. I personally feel it would be a very difficult transition for him as well. Before Harry came into our care he was exposed to sever abuse and violence. He is only now settling into civilian life. Additionally the transition from our culture into not one but two different cultures would not be an easy one. Rest assured he is receiving a through education both modern and magical. Perhaps in a few years we would consider a study abroad option or for graduate level studies.

Thank You for Your Consideration,

<i>Harry Potter
Teletha Testarossa
Kaname Chidori
Sagra Souske</i>

Kaname looked over the letter and sighed. “Ok take this back to whoever sent you here. I’m getting really tired of cleaning up the mess.”

She slid the letter into a small cylinder on the Owl’s leg as Harry held it still.

“I do not believe this a good idea Ms. Chidori.” Sagra hand remained on his pistol the entire time. “We should dispose of it and relocate immediately.”

Her eye twitched slightly. “We are not disposing another owl and if another one comes back do not blow up
the window!”

“The creature was highly suspicious.” Sagra was cut off as Kaname.

“Name one thing in our life that isn’t Highly suspicious!”

Sagra though on the matter for a moment then replied, “Principal Tsuboi.”

Kaname palmed her face in frustration. She practically growled in frustration as Teletha continued to fawn over the intelligent owl. She opened the newly repaired window and Harry gently guided the lucky survivor through the opening.
 

bissek

Well-Known Member
#83
The owls that ran into Sousuke are still luckier than the ones that tried to deliver a letter to Torg in the Sluggy Freelance Torg Potter parody crossover. Riff shot down and cooked all of them. It was only after a decade of this that they realized that there was a badly burnt piece of mail attached to a drumstick.
 

seitora

Well-Known Member
#84
How is Harry not dead yet with all the suspicious things that occur around him, besides Rule of Funny?
 

Amaretto

Well-Known Member
#85
seitora said:
How is Harry not dead yet with all the suspicious things that occur around him, besides Rule of Funny?
Well there is that whole prophecy protecting him till he and voldie off each other.
 

seitora

Well-Known Member
#86
That would be even more suspicious, and if Sosuke can't kill him, then just restrain him?
 

Amaretto

Well-Known Member
#87
I don't know, at that point we're arguing Unstoppable Force vs Immovable Object.
 

Emerald Oracle

Well-Known Member
#88
whitewhiskey said:
New thought, this letter could be life changing for Harry, but maybe not in a good way...

------

A young boy of eleven, apparently, sat alone in the swings, green eyes looking up into the stars, his mind focused on the paper in his hand.

"You okay?"

He looked back to his twin cousin, no, he was actually a bit older now that they knew the truth. Kinda of cool, but totally not worth it.

"What do you think?"

The girl sighed, taking the swing next to him, "Look, I'm sure grandpa and your dad didn't-"

"I'm not mad about that," The boy cut her off, "It's just," he struggled with his thoughts as his green eyes looked into hers, "It's like...my life has been a lie or something, like the me I've always been isn't-"

The red head took his hand, a tear in her eye, "Don't talk like that, never talk like that," she pulled herself out of the swing, standing with her hands on her hips, "Let me tell you something, you're short sighted, impatient, easily distracted, immature-"

"I don't think you get this whole motivation thing, Gwen," the boy sighed, his head dropping, only to feel Gwen lift it by the chin.

"-But you're also brave, usually selfless, and a good kid. I've seen you amazing things and stupid things, because that's who you are. You're my dweeby cousin, that's all that matters, it doesn't matter what your name is or where you came from or who your birth parents are, you're our family now." Gwen smiled down at him, holding out a hand.

Her cousin smiled back, taking her hand, the paper crumpled in the other...

---------------

Dear Professor,

Look, you kinda dropped a bomb on me with that letter. I'll start of with this, I'm not Harry Potter. Maybe I was at some point, but as far as I know, I've always been Ben, and your letter...

Look, I'll just say I'm not coming to school. No offense, but I don't like normal school, having to live at one would suck. If I do want to learn magic and stuff, I can always just learn from my cousin, Gwen. She's kinda geeky, but she's alright.

Besides, I've got important stuff to do around here.

Sorry,

Ben Tennyson
aaaaaaaaaaaaand now I want to see this, though admittedly that's because I've been on a bit of a Ben 10 kick the last couple days, though the repercussions from this would be... interesting AND young mr tennyson has the proper coloring to be Harry...
 

Flamewolf

Well-Known Member
#89
dear neckred's school of inbreds and stupidity

i have better things to do than attend your school of rednecks

signed

harry potter
 

scriviner

Well-Known Member
#90
Dear Wankers,

Harry's already getting a magical education and a proper regular one. With maths and sciences and all the fiddly bits.

He won't need anything from you lot.

Next bloody owl I see is getting a cigarette in its eye, mark my word.

Sod off.

- John Constantine.
 
#91
Dear Sir or Madam,

Harry is getting all the education he needs.
And while he would be happy to see the land of his ancestors, we both agreed that he is much more needed in Nyssa.
Besides, Queen Salmissra just loves to chat with him and we want to keep her happy.
Our lives may depend on it, so we regretfully have to refuse your generous offer.

Yours faithfully,
Sadi
Chief Eunuch to Queen Salmissra
"Ouch"
"What it is Severus?"
"Nothing, I just cut my finger on that blasted letter."

[Sadi is from Belgariath series by Eddings, letter takes place somewhere in time between ending the first Big Bad and the second quest]
 

scriviner

Well-Known Member
#92
IofTheBunny said:
Dear Sir or Madam,

Harry is getting all the education he needs.
And while he would be happy to see the land of his ancestors, we both agreed that he is much more needed in Nyssa.
Besides, Queen Salmissra just loves to chat with him and we want to keep her happy.
Our lives may depend on it, so we regretfully have to refuse your generous offer.

Yours faithfully,
Sadi
Chief Eunuch to Queen Salmissra
"Ouch"
"What it is Severus?"
"Nothing, I just cut my finger on that blasted letter."

[Sadi is from Belgariath series by Eddings, letter takes place somewhere in time between ending the first Big Bad and the second quest]
I look forward to Snape's inevitable demise. :D
 
#93
Nah, he's a potion master, besides on hand phoenix and bezoar.

Though the elves and filch might complain about clogging the loo in his quarters.

That is to not say he will always be so lucky. Harry is a fast learner and Sadi is a gifted teacher.

Uncle Silk is also known to give some tips.
 

The Ero-Sennin

The Eyes of Heaven
Staff member
#94
HOG-WARTS SCHOOL OF WITCH-CRAFT AND WIZ-AR-DRY.

WE HAVE DIS-POSED OF THE ONE KNOWN AS HAR-RY POT-TER.

WE HAVE DE-TER-MINED THE LO-CA-TION OF YOUR FA-CI-LI-TIES.

WE SHALL EX-TER-MI-NATE!

EX-TER-MI-NATE!!

EX-TER-MI-NATE!!
 
#95
The Ero-Sennin said:
HOG-WARTS SCHOOL OF WITCH-CRAFT AND WIZ-AR-DRY.

WE HAVE DIS-POSED OF THE ONE KNOWN AS HAR-RY POT-TER.

WE HAVE DE-TER-MINED THE LO-CA-TION OF YOUR FA-CI-LI-TIES.

WE SHALL EX-TER-MI-NATE!

EX-TER-MI-NATE!!

EX-TER-MI-NATE!!
How do Daleks write? And how did they send the letter back?

I'm just picturing them screaming this at the remains of an owl that they shot to death, not understanding how owl communication works.
 

scriviner

Well-Known Member
#96
Hardcore Heathen said:
The Ero-Sennin said:
HOG-WARTS SCHOOL OF WITCH-CRAFT AND WIZ-AR-DRY.

WE HAVE DIS-POSED OF THE ONE KNOWN AS HAR-RY POT-TER.

WE HAVE DE-TER-MINED THE LO-CA-TION OF YOUR FA-CI-LI-TIES.

WE SHALL EX-TER-MI-NATE!

EX-TER-MI-NATE!!

EX-TER-MI-NATE!!
How do Daleks write? And how did they send the letter back?

I'm just picturing them screaming this at the remains of an owl that they shot to death, not understanding how owl communication works.
Well, theoretically, the plunger thing CAN be used to write with, or at least hold a pen, but the image of a Dalek screaming at the dead owl is much too compelling.
 

The Ero-Sennin

The Eyes of Heaven
Staff member
#97
Actually, they announced this in the middle of Hogsmeade while en route to the school.
 

scriviner

Well-Known Member
#99
Andrew Joshua Talon said:
The Ero-Sennin said:
Actually, they announced this in the middle of Hogsmeade.
Daleks have no CONCEPT of ELEGANCE.
I suspect that they in fact do, but it all revolves around being able to EXTERMINATE with the maximum terror possible in their victims.
 
They do have a concept of beauty. That is why there is an asylum for Daleks that have gone mad in rage. Beautiful rage.
 
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