Harry Potter Hogwarts Rejection Letters
- Thread starter whitewhiskey
- Start date
Dear Headmaster Dumbledore,
My son would be delighted to attend your school provided it meets the standards of his personal tutors, Zatanna Zatara and Jason Blood, in terms of curriculum. It must also meet my standards in terms of security. A man in my position has many enemies, not simply limited to the Muggle World. There will also be times when my son will be required elsewhere for personal business. Do not worry: His studies will not fall behind. I am many things, but a neglectful guardian is not one of them.
I look forward to meeting you in person where you will accept these terms.
Sincerely,
Bruce Wayne
USA
My son would be delighted to attend your school provided it meets the standards of his personal tutors, Zatanna Zatara and Jason Blood, in terms of curriculum. It must also meet my standards in terms of security. A man in my position has many enemies, not simply limited to the Muggle World. There will also be times when my son will be required elsewhere for personal business. Do not worry: His studies will not fall behind. I am many things, but a neglectful guardian is not one of them.
I look forward to meeting you in person where you will accept these terms.
Sincerely,
Bruce Wayne
USA
So yea Daleks and the Doctor... damn it.
Contained within an envelope labeled do not open or deliver until September 1991. Several seals and wards litter the corners of the worn paper but it has finally arrived at its destination.
To Hogwarts,
I don’t know how you got that owl to us but she was a life saver! I mean really how did you get her to slip through both folded n-space and a recursive time loop? This little beauty broke us out of that paradox quite nicely. Anyway, I’m not sure when you’ll get this but ’91 isn’t a good year for me. I don’t really know how to put this but I already exist in that time line and cannot really be two places at once. Time is wibbley wobbly but I think this is one of those immovable black hole kind of things. Maybe we could meat up in say 1956 or ’47 would also be a good year for me as well. Anyway, we go that flux capacitor and driver’s side fender out of the Errol delineator. With any luck the Doctor will have us up and running in the morning. We’re both getting pretty bored with hanging out in 2015.
Best Regards
Harry Potter
Contained within an envelope labeled do not open or deliver until September 1991. Several seals and wards litter the corners of the worn paper but it has finally arrived at its destination.
To Hogwarts,
I don’t know how you got that owl to us but she was a life saver! I mean really how did you get her to slip through both folded n-space and a recursive time loop? This little beauty broke us out of that paradox quite nicely. Anyway, I’m not sure when you’ll get this but ’91 isn’t a good year for me. I don’t really know how to put this but I already exist in that time line and cannot really be two places at once. Time is wibbley wobbly but I think this is one of those immovable black hole kind of things. Maybe we could meat up in say 1956 or ’47 would also be a good year for me as well. Anyway, we go that flux capacitor and driver’s side fender out of the Errol delineator. With any luck the Doctor will have us up and running in the morning. We’re both getting pretty bored with hanging out in 2015.
Best Regards
Harry Potter
A certain thread in the Cartoons section got me this idea. Probably write a set-up for it later
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Professor McGonagall,
I was actually surprised your letter found Harry after our move and my remarriage, though I suppose I shouldn't have been, magic and all.
I realize you and professor Dumbledore were probably looking forward to Harry attending Hogwarts, but he has decided to decline. I am sure that Hogwarts is a nice school, but I am also fairly certain there are good schools of magic here in the U.S. where Harry wouldn't have to be so far from his family, perhaps even one where he can return home for the weekend (I am also very certain my husband would love a chance to study magic in action).
You see, my step-daughters have become quite close friends with Harry and while a trip to Brittan would be a matter of little effort for them, I would also miss Harry terribly, as he would miss all of us.
My Apologies,
Petunia Utonium
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Professor McGonagall,
I was actually surprised your letter found Harry after our move and my remarriage, though I suppose I shouldn't have been, magic and all.
I realize you and professor Dumbledore were probably looking forward to Harry attending Hogwarts, but he has decided to decline. I am sure that Hogwarts is a nice school, but I am also fairly certain there are good schools of magic here in the U.S. where Harry wouldn't have to be so far from his family, perhaps even one where he can return home for the weekend (I am also very certain my husband would love a chance to study magic in action).
You see, my step-daughters have become quite close friends with Harry and while a trip to Brittan would be a matter of little effort for them, I would also miss Harry terribly, as he would miss all of us.
My Apologies,
Petunia Utonium
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"I swear, how do you stand 'dat girl?"
A pair sat on the steps outside of a modest house. One a young boy, and the other who had asked the question was, well, decidedly older and very much less...alive.
"She's my best friend, and my first friend," the boy answered simply. She was kinda his only friend, actually, besides Grim, being the only one Dudley didn't scare off.
"She's a menace, 'dat's what she is," the hooded skull huffed.
"Says my friend who just killed a dozen wizards and took their souls."
"And she tool 'deir masks an' you took 'dose wands," if he had eyes, Grim would be rolling them, "She's a bad influence on you, boy."
"Maybe," Harry said with a smile, "But if she wasn't my friend, then I wouldn't have you as my friend either."
"An' I'd be happier free of you brats."
"You know you love us," Harry said, smiling.
"Harry! Grim!" a voice called them into the house. The two entered to find a blonde girl in a pink dress, about Harry's age, sitting in a chair, calmly sipping tea.
Across from her on the couch sat Harry's Aunt, Uncle and Cousin, pale faces of fear looking like they had spoken with the devil, and in some opinions, they had. It was amazing how the girl could frighten adults without ever raising her voice, and amusing to Harry how his family found Mandy's presence to be more frightening than Grim himself.
"Yes, Mandy." Harry greeted as he entered.
"It seems your aunt was nice enough to hold onto your mom's old school trunk, it should have all of her books and notes for us to study."
"'Us'?"
"Grim!" Mandy barked, "Make me a witch."
Grim sighed, he really should have seen this coming, no way the little monster would let a chance for power go by. He could stand to sacrifice a couple of his new souls, but she was going to be insufferable after this.
"I swear, how do you stand 'dat girl?"
A pair sat on the steps outside of a modest house. One a young boy, and the other who had asked the question was, well, decidedly older and very much less...alive.
"She's my best friend, and my first friend," the boy answered simply. She was kinda his only friend, actually, besides Grim, being the only one Dudley didn't scare off.
"She's a menace, 'dat's what she is," the hooded skull huffed.
"Says my friend who just killed a dozen wizards and took their souls."
"And she tool 'deir masks an' you took 'dose wands," if he had eyes, Grim would be rolling them, "She's a bad influence on you, boy."
"Maybe," Harry said with a smile, "But if she wasn't my friend, then I wouldn't have you as my friend either."
"An' I'd be happier free of you brats."
"You know you love us," Harry said, smiling.
"Harry! Grim!" a voice called them into the house. The two entered to find a blonde girl in a pink dress, about Harry's age, sitting in a chair, calmly sipping tea.
Across from her on the couch sat Harry's Aunt, Uncle and Cousin, pale faces of fear looking like they had spoken with the devil, and in some opinions, they had. It was amazing how the girl could frighten adults without ever raising her voice, and amusing to Harry how his family found Mandy's presence to be more frightening than Grim himself.
"Yes, Mandy." Harry greeted as he entered.
"It seems your aunt was nice enough to hold onto your mom's old school trunk, it should have all of her books and notes for us to study."
"'Us'?"
"Grim!" Mandy barked, "Make me a witch."
Grim sighed, he really should have seen this coming, no way the little monster would let a chance for power go by. He could stand to sacrifice a couple of his new souls, but she was going to be insufferable after this.
If you mean South Africa, South Africa's always been a bit of a hotspot for trouble, even post-apartheid.
The only thing that occurs to me as really serious recently was the breaking of the coal mine attacks with dozens of miners getting killed. And one hotshot radical who headed the national governing party's youth wing was also disbarred from the party, too.
The only thing that occurs to me as really serious recently was the breaking of the coal mine attacks with dozens of miners getting killed. And one hotshot radical who headed the national governing party's youth wing was also disbarred from the party, too.
I'm considering Naruto raised by Bill Nye thanks to that last post.
And now I'm imagining Bill Nye the Science Guy as being some sort of alternate universe where Bill Nye is literally God.
Although of course crack nearly killed Bill Nye.
And now I'm imagining Bill Nye the Science Guy as being some sort of alternate universe where Bill Nye is literally God.
Although of course crack nearly killed Bill Nye.
“Incoming transmission….†Dumbledore looked at the small device curiously as it came to life. The delivery owl shook its head and flew off.
A man whose face was obscured by shadows began to speak. “Greeting head master.â€
“Hello, I must admit this is quite unexpected.†Dumbledore examined the unusual device with much curiosity.
The shadowed man gave no reaction to the headmaster’s reply. “It has come to the attention of the council that you are attempting to contact one of our operatives.â€
A grey eyebrow arched slightly on Dumbledore’s face as he tried to figure out just what or who the man was talking about. “You seem to have me at a disadvantage sir.â€
“I know,†the monotone voice replied. The headmaster could see the man open a manila folder. “Operative Warlock, also known as Harry Potter is the subject of our discussion.â€
The headmaster nearly choked as the topic of their discussion was revealed. He did his best to school his expression and remain calm. “Ah, Mr. Potter, many people are quite eager for him to return to the magical world and begin his education.â€
“The council has decided it is not in Mr. Potter’s nor the council’s best interests for him to attend your institution.†The silhouetted man stated with an arrogant tone. “He is a key asset to the Commander and Strike One. His skills and abilities have proved most useful in our ongoing conflict.â€
Dumbledore’s eyes bulged slightly as the conversation took a most unexpected turn for him. “I assure…â€
The head master was cut off before he could offer a rebuttal. “Mr. Potter will be receiving extensive tutoring in the magical arts.â€
“Sir, I do not believe you understand the danger Mr. Potter is in.†Dumbledore attempted to regain a foot hold in the conversation.
“I understand the danger we are in all too well.†The man’s tone became angry as he leaned in. “That is all headmaster.â€
Before Dumbledore could respond the connection was cut and the device began to grow warm in his hand. The tiny disk soon became too hot to touch before he had to drop it onto his desk. Paper began to cringe and then caught fire as the disk immolated itself.
Playing way too much XCom
A man whose face was obscured by shadows began to speak. “Greeting head master.â€
“Hello, I must admit this is quite unexpected.†Dumbledore examined the unusual device with much curiosity.
The shadowed man gave no reaction to the headmaster’s reply. “It has come to the attention of the council that you are attempting to contact one of our operatives.â€
A grey eyebrow arched slightly on Dumbledore’s face as he tried to figure out just what or who the man was talking about. “You seem to have me at a disadvantage sir.â€
“I know,†the monotone voice replied. The headmaster could see the man open a manila folder. “Operative Warlock, also known as Harry Potter is the subject of our discussion.â€
The headmaster nearly choked as the topic of their discussion was revealed. He did his best to school his expression and remain calm. “Ah, Mr. Potter, many people are quite eager for him to return to the magical world and begin his education.â€
“The council has decided it is not in Mr. Potter’s nor the council’s best interests for him to attend your institution.†The silhouetted man stated with an arrogant tone. “He is a key asset to the Commander and Strike One. His skills and abilities have proved most useful in our ongoing conflict.â€
Dumbledore’s eyes bulged slightly as the conversation took a most unexpected turn for him. “I assure…â€
The head master was cut off before he could offer a rebuttal. “Mr. Potter will be receiving extensive tutoring in the magical arts.â€
“Sir, I do not believe you understand the danger Mr. Potter is in.†Dumbledore attempted to regain a foot hold in the conversation.
“I understand the danger we are in all too well.†The man’s tone became angry as he leaned in. “That is all headmaster.â€
Before Dumbledore could respond the connection was cut and the device began to grow warm in his hand. The tiny disk soon became too hot to touch before he had to drop it onto his desk. Paper began to cringe and then caught fire as the disk immolated itself.
Playing way too much XCom
Professor McGonagall,
Harry will not be attending Hogwarts. In fact, he will be attending no school in your reality...Ever...
Let me tell you a story, five years ago, during their studies of the artifact they call The Veil, one of your Unspeakables had the bright idea to see what happens when the Killing Curse is sent into the veil. Nothing happened, and they continued their studies.
But something did happen in our reality, a single mother lost her only son, a child with a heart and soul more pure than any other being, a boy who would be destined for such great things, who would do such good in our world...
A life snuffed out due to one man's ignorance and carelessness, and our world lost one who was chosen for an incredible destiny.
I came to your reality to seek vengeance, and it was mine, that fool spent the rest of his days being chased through the Distortion World.
But what else did I happen to stumble upon? My portal opened, unseen, over a quaint little community, where a child, touched by destiny, lay beaten and un-helped, so I sought...Balance, in a way...
You took one of Our chosen, so I took yours...
Worry not, although he will have his trials, Harry has lead a far happier life as a Ketchum than he would have ever had as a Potter, under a Dursley's heel or your headmaster's manipulations, and even in the past year since his journey began, he has accomplished great deeds.
Perhaps, one day, I shall appear to him, and offer a chance to aid you in your coming dark times, ask him if he wishes to help those who abandoned him to sorrow and abuse.
You had best pray for his mercy.
Good Luck,
Arceus
Harry will not be attending Hogwarts. In fact, he will be attending no school in your reality...Ever...
Let me tell you a story, five years ago, during their studies of the artifact they call The Veil, one of your Unspeakables had the bright idea to see what happens when the Killing Curse is sent into the veil. Nothing happened, and they continued their studies.
But something did happen in our reality, a single mother lost her only son, a child with a heart and soul more pure than any other being, a boy who would be destined for such great things, who would do such good in our world...
A life snuffed out due to one man's ignorance and carelessness, and our world lost one who was chosen for an incredible destiny.
I came to your reality to seek vengeance, and it was mine, that fool spent the rest of his days being chased through the Distortion World.
But what else did I happen to stumble upon? My portal opened, unseen, over a quaint little community, where a child, touched by destiny, lay beaten and un-helped, so I sought...Balance, in a way...
You took one of Our chosen, so I took yours...
Worry not, although he will have his trials, Harry has lead a far happier life as a Ketchum than he would have ever had as a Potter, under a Dursley's heel or your headmaster's manipulations, and even in the past year since his journey began, he has accomplished great deeds.
Perhaps, one day, I shall appear to him, and offer a chance to aid you in your coming dark times, ask him if he wishes to help those who abandoned him to sorrow and abuse.
You had best pray for his mercy.
Good Luck,
Arceus