Naruto No Rules, No Rulers [Naruto/High School DxD]
- Thread starter MastaofBitches
- Start date
Okay, I'm having some trouble with the Issei scene. I've barely gotten 180 words written up, and I can't figure out what to do with it, or how to make it feel natural.
-X-
He was dying. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.
Issei groaned, his body felt like it was made of lead. Lead that was on fire. The sunlight shining directly on his face felt like it was literally melting his skin off, and the pounding in his head felt like something was trying to get out.
And despite all this, he was still being made to go to school.
Issei had complained as much as he was able, but his mother just shooed him out the house. So he tried to make the best of it, and if he got lucky he might be able to head to the nurse’s office for a bit…
He groaned, he couldn’t even muster up the energy to be perverted.
“Yo, Issei!†An energetic call came from behind him.
“Naruto…†Issei responded, almost groaning at the blond teen’s energy. Normally the teen’s overabundance of energy would be amusing, bust as exhausted as Issei felt, seeing his friend so energetic just made him feel jealous.
Mustering up what little strength he had, he tried his best to glare the Uzumaki to death.
-X-
Something about it bugs me, and is making it difficult to progress, would it be better to just scrap it and go straight from Naruto, or someone else's perspective?
-X-
He was dying. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.
Issei groaned, his body felt like it was made of lead. Lead that was on fire. The sunlight shining directly on his face felt like it was literally melting his skin off, and the pounding in his head felt like something was trying to get out.
And despite all this, he was still being made to go to school.
Issei had complained as much as he was able, but his mother just shooed him out the house. So he tried to make the best of it, and if he got lucky he might be able to head to the nurse’s office for a bit…
He groaned, he couldn’t even muster up the energy to be perverted.
“Yo, Issei!†An energetic call came from behind him.
“Naruto…†Issei responded, almost groaning at the blond teen’s energy. Normally the teen’s overabundance of energy would be amusing, bust as exhausted as Issei felt, seeing his friend so energetic just made him feel jealous.
Mustering up what little strength he had, he tried his best to glare the Uzumaki to death.
-X-
Something about it bugs me, and is making it difficult to progress, would it be better to just scrap it and go straight from Naruto, or someone else's perspective?
I would say not to do it then. Hell, Naruto interacting with people outside of the Occult Club would work better really; all he has to do to realize that Issei feels different than before.
Maybe follow up on the thing iwith Souna and Naruto in the previous one? Or even have him bump into that one monster tamer girl.
If something feels flat then it's best to switch it up a bit. Throw in something people haven't seen done in fics like this that are usually linear and don't have Naruto interact outside of the main groups.
Maybe follow up on the thing iwith Souna and Naruto in the previous one? Or even have him bump into that one monster tamer girl.
If something feels flat then it's best to switch it up a bit. Throw in something people haven't seen done in fics like this that are usually linear and don't have Naruto interact outside of the main groups.
Since I don't particularly know what your problem with the scene is, I was suggesting different scenes that you could do that might be a bit more interesting. Issei's problem is something that could be ferreted out easily since Naruto is will know something is different about Issei the moment he meets him.
But this is me assuming that the only thing that's supposed to happen in this scene is Naruto figuring out there's something up with Issei.
But this is me assuming that the only thing that's supposed to happen in this scene is Naruto figuring out there's something up with Issei.
I think the problem here is that you have a series of connected 'ideas' that you're trying to force into one narrative which makes the natural character interaction, the SoL, flat.
When you write I'd almost recommend taking the idea or concept from where you start and plan from there using characters, their personalities, and drives to move the story and character interaction. It might take you somewhere else than you initially planned to go, but the story will flow more naturally. That includes for people that aren't necessarily part of the main cast, such as villains or side characters too.
Fact is, DxD's already pretty fleshed out with its characters, so it shouldn't be hard to do, and not hard to come up with some ideas about details about some of the less fleshed out characters' personalities if you decide to use them so long as they're faithful to the details DxD already presented, and it gives a better result than trying to force the plot from point a to b and forcing the actual character interaction around it like a cheap wrapper and I don't want to be rude but that's what your comment feels like.
I'd suggest, honestly, starting from the beginning with your concept, come up with some details and give yourself a rough idea of what you want from the initial arc of the story- not it as a whole- and start from the beginnig and make a rough outline of events you'd think would happen. Then, as you write and develop the characters and interactions as they should happen naturally and if that leads you away from your original plot but still feels like that's the natural progression then go for it.
For example, let's say you want to have naruto interact with Rias's group and have him at Kuoh academy. Alright, so you've set up the board but you think about it as you write Naruto- the school bores him and he starts ditching but he hangs out with Issei some. BUT- you think about it, Rias and her group would'nt really care about naruto ditching, but Sona would. So you find yourself writing a lto of ineraction with Sona because as Naruto adjusts and hangs out with Issei, he keeps pissing off Sona by being a delinquent and she's the student council president.
Now, you've set a timeline for youself beforei n your rough ideas that These events drawing him to Rias's group would happen because you want him dealing with Rias's group, but looking at the chemistry, it almost feels more like it would be more fitting that Naruto, with increased conflict with Sona, decided to prank her or something in response, but ends up accidentally finding out she's a devil which leads to a plot where Naruto's got to be convinced to keep quiet about the devils thing or maybe it was all a plot that was cooked up by Sona because she's got plans and is really smart.
Does that mean you have to drop the plot about naruto interacting with Rias's group? No, because you've already got him with a link to them with Issei, that is if the changes in issei by knowing naruto aren't enough to keep him from his date with death. Hell, maybe Naruto's presence there/arrival to Dxd's universe is enough that Azazel's interest is more active and he intervenes when Raynare is screwing the pooch and- as Issei and Azazel actually get along pretty well in canon and should be able to here- he recruits Issei or just saves him and acts as his buddy. Issei not being killed changes DxD events and maybe Rias complains to Sona (because honestly there's no way that a fallen angel appearing and dating Issei is outside of their knowledge considering she appeared in the heart of their territory while they're around- in the school) and complains about the total ruined opportunity and bothers Sona with an idea to help her get Issei because she's not so good on recruiting her own peerage because of the good luck she had in getting her own. Maybe Naruto hears that- with his planned prank- and we've got a conflict with him against them because Issei's his buddy so decides to get more involved to look out for his friend's best interests because Issei is a perv who could be tempted by a cute girl like Rias really easily.
See- still ends up with interaction, but it doesn't have to keep super close to canon at all times so long as the spirit and well... character of the characters is kept true to as you write. For example, these changes do nothing to affect the fact Rias is still engaged to Riser, which is the big motivator for her to find a solution to her problem one way or another.
When you write I'd almost recommend taking the idea or concept from where you start and plan from there using characters, their personalities, and drives to move the story and character interaction. It might take you somewhere else than you initially planned to go, but the story will flow more naturally. That includes for people that aren't necessarily part of the main cast, such as villains or side characters too.
Fact is, DxD's already pretty fleshed out with its characters, so it shouldn't be hard to do, and not hard to come up with some ideas about details about some of the less fleshed out characters' personalities if you decide to use them so long as they're faithful to the details DxD already presented, and it gives a better result than trying to force the plot from point a to b and forcing the actual character interaction around it like a cheap wrapper and I don't want to be rude but that's what your comment feels like.
I'd suggest, honestly, starting from the beginning with your concept, come up with some details and give yourself a rough idea of what you want from the initial arc of the story- not it as a whole- and start from the beginnig and make a rough outline of events you'd think would happen. Then, as you write and develop the characters and interactions as they should happen naturally and if that leads you away from your original plot but still feels like that's the natural progression then go for it.
For example, let's say you want to have naruto interact with Rias's group and have him at Kuoh academy. Alright, so you've set up the board but you think about it as you write Naruto- the school bores him and he starts ditching but he hangs out with Issei some. BUT- you think about it, Rias and her group would'nt really care about naruto ditching, but Sona would. So you find yourself writing a lto of ineraction with Sona because as Naruto adjusts and hangs out with Issei, he keeps pissing off Sona by being a delinquent and she's the student council president.
Now, you've set a timeline for youself beforei n your rough ideas that These events drawing him to Rias's group would happen because you want him dealing with Rias's group, but looking at the chemistry, it almost feels more like it would be more fitting that Naruto, with increased conflict with Sona, decided to prank her or something in response, but ends up accidentally finding out she's a devil which leads to a plot where Naruto's got to be convinced to keep quiet about the devils thing or maybe it was all a plot that was cooked up by Sona because she's got plans and is really smart.
Does that mean you have to drop the plot about naruto interacting with Rias's group? No, because you've already got him with a link to them with Issei, that is if the changes in issei by knowing naruto aren't enough to keep him from his date with death. Hell, maybe Naruto's presence there/arrival to Dxd's universe is enough that Azazel's interest is more active and he intervenes when Raynare is screwing the pooch and- as Issei and Azazel actually get along pretty well in canon and should be able to here- he recruits Issei or just saves him and acts as his buddy. Issei not being killed changes DxD events and maybe Rias complains to Sona (because honestly there's no way that a fallen angel appearing and dating Issei is outside of their knowledge considering she appeared in the heart of their territory while they're around- in the school) and complains about the total ruined opportunity and bothers Sona with an idea to help her get Issei because she's not so good on recruiting her own peerage because of the good luck she had in getting her own. Maybe Naruto hears that- with his planned prank- and we've got a conflict with him against them because Issei's his buddy so decides to get more involved to look out for his friend's best interests because Issei is a perv who could be tempted by a cute girl like Rias really easily.
See- still ends up with interaction, but it doesn't have to keep super close to canon at all times so long as the spirit and well... character of the characters is kept true to as you write. For example, these changes do nothing to affect the fact Rias is still engaged to Riser, which is the big motivator for her to find a solution to her problem one way or another.
Your idea sounds really really good, except for one thing... Azazel isn't dumb enough to try and have both Heavenly Dragons in his organisation, given their animosity.
That said, I'll scrap that scene with Issei and try starting over, and see what feels most natural. You have a point regarding doing things naturally, rather than force things along a predetermined path. This was originally just supposed to be a proof of concept idea, just something to maybe get people to consider other options with their DxD X-Over's.
That said, I'll scrap that scene with Issei and try starting over, and see what feels most natural. You have a point regarding doing things naturally, rather than force things along a predetermined path. This was originally just supposed to be a proof of concept idea, just something to maybe get people to consider other options with their DxD X-Over's.
Which is why I also said 'or save him and be his buddy.' As for Azazel he basically is a father figure for Vali, so he'd probably be the best insight on what could be the best thingtodo consdering how well he knows Vali. As is with Issei so weak Vali wouldn't really be interested at the moment. But yeah, Azazel isn't dumb enough to outright swoop in and recruit Issei in devil territory, he he's shown that he's skilled enough not to be foun and would likely strike up a friendship with Issei that also would allow him to study boosted gear, like he did in canon.
Regardless, there's a lot of interesting ideas that can be done with the crossovers. I get people want Naruto to be with the main cast, but I always think a story where he's travelling and deals with the Hero faction/church/fallen angels before finding his way to Kuoh town like everybody does in dxd would be interesting but many people want a naruto rias pairing so they shove him in before the riser stuff before she falls for Issei. Like almost everyone does it too.
Regardless, there's a lot of interesting ideas that can be done with the crossovers. I get people want Naruto to be with the main cast, but I always think a story where he's travelling and deals with the Hero faction/church/fallen angels before finding his way to Kuoh town like everybody does in dxd would be interesting but many people want a naruto rias pairing so they shove him in before the riser stuff before she falls for Issei. Like almost everyone does it too.
That snippet feels like he got turned into a ghoul and is dying while going to school >.>.
At most he is just lethargic (he was ressurected on top of being converted), less energetic in the sun and somewhat mentally out of it since his friends and parents have no idea what he is talking about when he mentions his new girlfriend, Raynare never went near Kuoh, and as such, she was not spotted by any devils, even then it is a question if they would be able to sense her, or any of the others even if they were across the street.
Azazel was casually summoning Issei as a client.
Also, I literally cringe every time I see the "ebil mastermind bitch Rias" part where she planned for Sekiryuutei to die and be ressurected by her... when in actuality it was just the way story started off - Issei picks up a paper from a cutie on the street, wishes for a nice pair before he lets out his last breath, summons Rias who decides to ressurect him as a pawn in return, the end. Hell, someone wrote a hillarious snippet where Rias is a evil mastermind wannabe, while Akeno is playing straight man to her comedic evil routine.
Just have Issei be lethargic and complain about it a bit to Naruto, who notices something is off and quietly investigates and so on?
At most he is just lethargic (he was ressurected on top of being converted), less energetic in the sun and somewhat mentally out of it since his friends and parents have no idea what he is talking about when he mentions his new girlfriend, Raynare never went near Kuoh, and as such, she was not spotted by any devils, even then it is a question if they would be able to sense her, or any of the others even if they were across the street.
Azazel was casually summoning Issei as a client.
Also, I literally cringe every time I see the "ebil mastermind bitch Rias" part where she planned for Sekiryuutei to die and be ressurected by her... when in actuality it was just the way story started off - Issei picks up a paper from a cutie on the street, wishes for a nice pair before he lets out his last breath, summons Rias who decides to ressurect him as a pawn in return, the end. Hell, someone wrote a hillarious snippet where Rias is a evil mastermind wannabe, while Akeno is playing straight man to her comedic evil routine.
Just have Issei be lethargic and complain about it a bit to Naruto, who notices something is off and quietly investigates and so on?
Dude, she showed up at scbool, Its why Issei was so bothered by his parents, two friends and everyone at school not remembering who she was.
edit, he only intoduced her to his two friends. she stated she was from another school, so thats my bad misremembering. Honestly I guess they never noticed her, but considering the track record for the people who hideout in Kuoh without Rias and Sonaknowing I suppse it is possible. I just found it highly unlikely considering how much they knew about the situation.
edit, he only intoduced her to his two friends. she stated she was from another school, so thats my bad misremembering. Honestly I guess they never noticed her, but considering the track record for the people who hideout in Kuoh without Rias and Sonaknowing I suppse it is possible. I just found it highly unlikely considering how much they knew about the situation.
The biggest problem with the start of the story in anime is that apparently Ishibumi went and made it all retarded.
In the novel, Raynare approached him out of school, and he only showed her too his 2 pals, and mentioned her to his parents, the end.
In the anime, they decided to make it "better" by making Rias and Sona incompetent beyond belief in how they handle a Fallen Angel approaching a kid from their school...
And most of fanfic writers have only watched the anime, and so Rias is presented as some conniving devil that waited for Issei to die so she could hijack him for her Peerage.
Need to check if that Lunar Issei fic had a new update.
In the novel, Raynare approached him out of school, and he only showed her too his 2 pals, and mentioned her to his parents, the end.
In the anime, they decided to make it "better" by making Rias and Sona incompetent beyond belief in how they handle a Fallen Angel approaching a kid from their school...
And most of fanfic writers have only watched the anime, and so Rias is presented as some conniving devil that waited for Issei to die so she could hijack him for her Peerage.
Need to check if that Lunar Issei fic had a new update.
Rias and Sona incompetent? I don't think Raynare even went anywhere near the school in the anime. She asks Issei out on an overpass. Rias knew, I think she had Koneko follow Issei or something along those lines... We're not shown one way or the other whether Sona knows, but if she did it's possible she just let Rias handle it, since she knew Rias wanted him for her Peerage.
Koneko being there is an anime only thing, Rias only had a vague distant feeling about him and was dismissive of him as well, also in anime.
In the novel, it simply starts off with Issei preparing and going on the date, getting gutted, Rias getting summoned by him as he encountered her cute familliar on the way to the date, Rias had no idea about the fallen in the area before that.
Mind you, this is the same Rias that then proceeds to anihillate all 4 of those fallen angels in both novel and anime, quite enthusiastically in Raynares case.
This change at the start of the story brings about a headache in narrative.
Honestly, his death and ressurection as devil should be treated as it is in the novel, for science.
In the novel, it simply starts off with Issei preparing and going on the date, getting gutted, Rias getting summoned by him as he encountered her cute familliar on the way to the date, Rias had no idea about the fallen in the area before that.
Mind you, this is the same Rias that then proceeds to anihillate all 4 of those fallen angels in both novel and anime, quite enthusiastically in Raynares case.
This change at the start of the story brings about a headache in narrative.
Honestly, his death and ressurection as devil should be treated as it is in the novel, for science.
“Now what happened here?†Naruto muttered to himself.
Eyes scanned the area of the park in front of him, searching for some visual indicators. He could still feel lingering power from both Rias Gremory, and Not-Akeno. Most of Rias’s energy seemed concentrated to one particular area near the fountain, while Not-Akeno’s seemed spread across the whole park. A barrier of some kind maybe?
He groaned, this really wasn’t his area of expertise. He didn’t have anywhere near the amount of information he needed.
‘Then perhaps it would be a good idea to get that information.’ Kurama chimed in lazily, trying to push his partner to action.
‘Really,’ The Biju thought to itself, ‘All this sneaking around is so unlike him.’
While The Titanic fox had originally agreed with the wait and see approach of his host, he hadn’t thought it would go on for as long as it had. They had regained enough strength to be able to defeat both Gremory’s group, as well as the Student Council a few days after arriving.
‘I’d rather not tip our hand to Rias or Kaichou just yet… Oh! What about that weird tennis girl? The one with those strange pets?’
‘And why would she have any clue as to what happened here? Face it, it’s time to stop skulking around in the shadows.’ The fox grinned, dashing the Uzumaki’s hopes was always an enjoyment.
But just to seal the deal…
‘Unless you’re scared of a couple of girls…’
He was being baited. Logically, Naruto knew this. However, Naruto was never very good at following through on logical thinking.
‘I’ll show you who’s scared of a couple of girls!’ Naruto yelled back at his partner. He was Uzumaki Naruto! He wasn't scared of anything!
…Except maybe ghosts.
-x-
Now I'm not sure what would be better do here. I was thinking either have one of the Fallen show up, and have Naruto question them, prompting a fight. Or have Azazael show up himself, since the Red Dragon was just murdered against his orders.
Eyes scanned the area of the park in front of him, searching for some visual indicators. He could still feel lingering power from both Rias Gremory, and Not-Akeno. Most of Rias’s energy seemed concentrated to one particular area near the fountain, while Not-Akeno’s seemed spread across the whole park. A barrier of some kind maybe?
He groaned, this really wasn’t his area of expertise. He didn’t have anywhere near the amount of information he needed.
‘Then perhaps it would be a good idea to get that information.’ Kurama chimed in lazily, trying to push his partner to action.
‘Really,’ The Biju thought to itself, ‘All this sneaking around is so unlike him.’
While The Titanic fox had originally agreed with the wait and see approach of his host, he hadn’t thought it would go on for as long as it had. They had regained enough strength to be able to defeat both Gremory’s group, as well as the Student Council a few days after arriving.
‘I’d rather not tip our hand to Rias or Kaichou just yet… Oh! What about that weird tennis girl? The one with those strange pets?’
‘And why would she have any clue as to what happened here? Face it, it’s time to stop skulking around in the shadows.’ The fox grinned, dashing the Uzumaki’s hopes was always an enjoyment.
But just to seal the deal…
‘Unless you’re scared of a couple of girls…’
He was being baited. Logically, Naruto knew this. However, Naruto was never very good at following through on logical thinking.
‘I’ll show you who’s scared of a couple of girls!’ Naruto yelled back at his partner. He was Uzumaki Naruto! He wasn't scared of anything!
…Except maybe ghosts.
-x-
Now I'm not sure what would be better do here. I was thinking either have one of the Fallen show up, and have Naruto question them, prompting a fight. Or have Azazael show up himself, since the Red Dragon was just murdered against his orders.
All a fight with the Fallen Angels would do is bring about a curbstomp. After which Naruto might feel guilty for beating up on someone weaker than him, even if he gets bad vibes from the Fallen Angels. So hell, have him try to find where the Fallen Angels are located since that would get him straight to the problem.
He would probably be able to find them easily too.
He would probably be able to find them easily too.
Well, if nothing happens to change what she and Issei do in the intervening time, they could still meet up, and he could take her to the church. Then he would almost certainly do something to help her out if they got there and it was wrecked. Of course, that leads into a probable argument with Rias over the whole "she's supposed to be our enemy" thing...