Bleach Peer Review Omake Thread

[Reikson]

Kurosaki Ichigo to Arisawa Tatsuki;

Any possible chance that a female ancestor of yours disappeared after giving birth to her child/children?

Arisawa Tatsuki to Kurosaki Ichigo;

What does that have to do with anything, berry-boy?

Kurosaki Ichigo to Arisawa Tatsuki;

DON'T CALL ME THAT! And, judging by your response, you've never read up on kitsune, have you?

Arisawa Tatsuki to Kurosaki Ichigo;

)#^*@*%$*/-~?<>{};'][~*^@#(&)%!@%&*$@#}{+-!!!!!

?Kurosaki Ichigo? to Kurosaki Ichigo;

Damn, King. What did we get ourselves into this time?

Kurosaki Ichigo to ?Kurosaki Ichigo?;

STFU.

 

[Watashiwa]

?Kurosaki Ichigo? to Kurosaki Ichigo;

NO U

 

[warai_kitsune]

Ichigo Kurosaki to Tatsuki

You know, I heard that exposure to uncontrolled reiatsu has something to do with the powers manifesting; how do you know it's my powers?? Sure, they might have...set the stage, sort of, but don't you think there might be some other reason?? Say, you stalking a certain bell-headed psychopath with less self-control than a rabid mongoose on a sugar buzz?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Arisawa Tatsuki to Kurosaki Ichigo:

SH-SHUT UP, KUROSAKI! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS FOR THIS!

Kurosaki Ichigo to Hinamori Momo:

Hey Momo-san... Uh... Wait... Momo-san?

Hinamori Momo to Kurosaki Ichigo:

Oh, I hope you don't mind, Ichigo-kun, but I decided that my old gigai was a little too limited. What do you think of this one?

Edit:

Kurosaki Ichigo to Hinamori Momo:

Um, er, it's... Older...?

Hinamori Momo to Kurosaki Ichigo:

Well, you're just so warm Ichigo-kun, so I decided that I should at least be more... Cuddly.á

 

[Nanya]

Mayuri Kurotsaki to Nemu Kurotsaki:

I've heard the most...? Disturbing rumors lately.

Nemu Kurotsaki to Mayuri Kurotsaki:

Yes?

Mayuri Kurotsaki to Nemu Kurotsaki:

You've been hanging around that Quincy boy lately.

Nemu Kurotsaki to Uryu Ishida:

Mayuri-sama knows.

Uryu Ishida to Nemu Kurotsaki:

Damn, don't tell me that I have to beat him again.

 

[Jamil Nate]

Arisawa Tatsuki to Kurosaki Ichigo

Kurosaki... Care to explain this?

Kurosaki Ichigo to Arisawa Tatsuki

Er... Well for starters, it's not what it sounds like, really! You see...

Arisawa Tatsuki to Kurosaki Ichigo

Oh, I see allright. Kuchiki-san and Orihime are not enough for you! OH MY GOD! Now I understand, you're transforming girls left and right into your sex slaves with your reiatsu leaks, you pervert! AND THAT MEANS THIS *transform!* IS ALL YOUR FAULT! DIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!

Yamada Hanatarou to Urahara Kisuke

Sir, I humbly request of you that you train me into achieving bankai. Simply put, I need the extra power if I want to survive captain Soi Fong's interest. Please, I beg of you!!!

Urahara Kisuke to Yamada Hanatarou

Oh my, quite the predicament you find yourself in, young man. I've heard of your exploits through the gravepine and I bow my hat to you. It will be a pleasure to help you, it'll be so much fun. But I have to ask : How will you get to the living world unnoticed?

Yamada Hanatarou to Urahara Kisuke

I have a cunning plan. I'll make a little diversion to keep the Gotei 13 busy while I use a gate to your shop. May God (and captain Unohana, ESPECIALLY captain Unohana) forgive me for what I'm going to do...

Anonymous to VC Kusajishi Yachiru

This is a gift for you. I hope you will like this special candy (with extra sugar) If you're thirsty, there's a bottle of red bull in the package as well.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Nemu Kurotsaki to Uryu Ishida:

Fortunately, it seems he is otherwise occupied for the moment. Your place as usual?

Third Seat Ikkaku Madarame to Anyone

OH GOD!!! SOMEBODY HELP US!!!? BANKAI DOES NOTHING!!! OH MY GOD SHE GOT YUMICHIKA!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

--Transmission lost--

(It was too funny to not use again, zerohour. Slightly edited, of course.)


Hinamori Momo to Arisawa Tatsuki:

Now now, calm down! Binding art 32: Invisible Ropes!

Arisawa Tatsuki to Hinamori Momo:

WHAT THE HELL?! GAH! LET ME OUT OF THIS YOU BITCH!

Hinamori Momo to Kurosaki Ichigo:

Now, this binding art is very useful for containing unruly prisoners, but as you can see by how she is held by the kido, it has... Other uses, heheheh... Shall I demonstrate them, Ichigo-kun?

Arisawa Tatsuki to Hinamori Momo:

NO! NO, DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEE! OOOOOHHHHH! Oh, oh God I swear I'll kill yooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

Kuroraki Ichigo to Hinamori Momo:

Uh... Er... Um... W-Wow... That's... Wow...

?Ichigo Kurosaki? to Ichigo Kurosaki:

Okay, it's settled. Peach girl is first. Go for it King!

 

[ArchfiendRai]

Say, can we have a set where...you know...Ichigo DOESN'T need encouragement...or rape...to get laid?

We've used the 'he doesn't want any' thing two or three times already...

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Say, can we have a set where...you know...Ichigo DOESN'T need encouragement...or rape...to get laid?

We've used the 'he doesn't want any' thing two or three times already...

Then it wouldn't be Ichigo, now would it?

 

[ArchfiendRai]

Say, can we have a set where...you know...Ichigo DOESN'T need encouragement...or rape...to get laid?

We've used the 'he doesn't want any' thing two or three times already...

Then it wouldn't be Ichigo, now would it?

:headbanger:

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Yeah, dude, it is canon. Yoruichi, who was practically presenting herself to him. Remember that? Perverting characters for no reason is equally annoying. Best course of action is to keep it in smaller doses. Focus on the other aspects of humor this particular plot bunny can bring.

 

[Nanya]

Kenpachi Zaraki to Yachiru Kusajishi:

Yachiru, if you don't calm down, right now, you'll never see Mr. Snuggles again.

Yachiru Kusajishi to Kenny:

Not Mr. Snuggles!?

Kenpachi Zaraki to Yachiru Kusajishi:

Yes, Mr. Snuggles, now calm down before I use my Shikai on Mr. Snuggles!

Yachiru Kusajishi to Kenny:

NOOOOO!? Yachiru is a good girl!

 

[Reikson]

Kurosaki Ichigo to Zaraki Kenpachi;

Dare I ask who this Mr. Snuggles is?

Zaraki Kenpachi to Kurosaki Ichigo;

Not unless you wanna fight me for that info.

Kurosaki Ichigo to Zaraki Kenpachi;

I'm not THAT desperate to know.

 

[Gullwhacker]

Komamura Sajin to Commander Yamamato-Genryusai

Would you be free for tea later?? I found a new blend, and find it a welcome distraction from the daily chaos of the ranks.

 

[Nikas_Zekeval]

Kenpachi Zaraki to the Old Man

Now that that's settled, what about that 'special field trip' I put in for last week...

Kira Izuru to Komamura Sajin

I wish to ask you for your support in my request to take temporary captaincy of the Third Squad.? On a completely unrelated note while in the Living World I found something you might find interesting, a picture is attached.

Attachment: Tatsuki-foxy-powerup.jpg

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Komamura Sajin to Kira Izuru:

... W-Wow...

Commander Yamamato-Genryusai to Komamura Sajin:

Certainly Sajin, I too enjoy a brief respite from hard work. By the way, this Arisawa girl's new powers... They're quite interesting, aren't they?

 

[Nanya]

Komamura Sajin to Commander Yamamato-Genryusai:

You don't know the half of it.

Nel Tu Oderschvank to Momo Hinamori:

Enjoying yourself?

Momo Hinamori to Nel Tu Oderschvank:

Yes I am, wish to join?

Tatsuki Arisawa to tormentor:

MMMMPH!

Nel Tu Oderschvank to Momo Hinamori:

Why not?? Ichigo should watch and take notes.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Commander Yamamato-Genryusai to Komamura Sajin:

Sajin, my friend, be careful. You do recall what happened with the last fox woman to catch your eye?

Komamura Sajin to Commander Yamamato-Genryusai:

Sir, it was not my fault. She was trying to make this blond human from her dimension jealous, and when he went and married this redhead she flipped out and tried to destroy his village. Miss Arisawa may be powerful, fiery, and attractive, but she is not a nine-tails yet. Nor does she appear to be involved with some hardheaded blond...

 

[wingthesword]

Does Ichigo Kurosaki count as a blond? Because if he does you are to cease all interaction with the Arisawa girl

Dammit

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Halibel to Sado "Chad" Yasutora:

Sado... I am your mother.

Sado "Chad" Yasutora to Halibel:

No! That's not true! That's impossible!

Halibel to Sado "Chad" Yasutora:

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Sado "Chad" Yasutora to Halibel:

No! Noooo!

Halibel to Sado "Chad" Yasutora:

... Really... You're taking this so hard.

Sado "Chad" Yasutora to Halibel:

My mother is a soul sucking, ungodly powerful warrior for an evil megalomaniac. How else should I take it?

Halibel to Sado "Chad" Yasutora:

You could be happy that your mother is employed in such a respectable line of work. World domination is not just for the average working Arrancar, after all.

Sado "Chad" Yasutora to Halibel:

...

 

[Nanya]

Nice Star Wars ref there.

Renji Abarai to Ikkaku Madarame:

Any idea what this "Mr. Snuggles" is?

Ikkaku Madarame to Renji Abarai:

No clue.? Oh captain!

Kenpachi Zaraki to dimwits:

If you two think for one moment that I'm going to tell you what "Mr. Snuggles" is forget it.

Ikkaku Madarame to Kenpachi Zaraki:

Oh, come on!

Kenpachi Zaraki to new training dummies:

No!? And just for even trying to know, you two are now my personal training dummies for the next year.? By the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging the old man to take on Aizen's entire army without your Zanpakuto.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Kuchiki Rukia to Kurosaki Ichigo:

ICHIGO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Kurosaki Ichigo to Kuchiki Rukia:

Er, um... Nothing... Just... Watching...?

Hinamori Momo to Kuchiki Rukia:

Don't be so upset, Rukia-san. Allow me to demonstrate the benefits of my kido mastery to Ichigo, and you won't regret it.

Kuchiki Rukia to Hinamori Momo:

Damnit, I-! I'm not interested in him like that!

Hinamori Momo to Kuchiki Rukia:

Very well. Ichigo-kun, shall we move on to the next stage of the lesson?

Kurosaki Ichigo to Hinamori Momo:

Er, what is that?

Hinamori Momo to Kurosaki Ichigo:

Taming of the flat-chested tsundere. Arousal of the busty bimbo! Binding art 64! Even Naughtier Invisible Ropes! The Sequel!

Kuchiki Rukia to Kurosaki Ichigo:

WHAT THE-?! DAMNIT ICHIGO!

Kurosaki Ichigo to Hinamori Momo:

I don't know, is this really ethical?

Hinamori Momo to Kurosaki Ichigo:

Trust me, a little loving from you and she'll be like a kitten. Or a bunny rabbit.

 

[Nanya]

Toshiro Hitsugaya to Rangiku Matsumoto:

What is this?

Rangiku to Captain:

Just something to help you relax.

Toshiro Hitsugaya to Matsumoto:

Huh?? Since when do *I* need to relax?!

Rangiku to Captain:

You just proved my point.? Now sit down on this chair.

Toshiro Hitsugaya to Matsumoto:

FINE!? *Sits down*? Now...? oooh...? This...? So relaxing...? Zzzzz...

 

[~NGD OMEGA~]

Rangiku to Sleeping Captain:

>X3

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

4th Div. Vice-Captain Kotetsu Isane to 2nd Div. Captain Soi Fong:

Captain Soi Fong, I respectfully request to see Seventh-seat Yamada Hanatarou. As his friend and superior officer, I have the right to evaluate his current state after his transfer and see that he is making the adjustment. If he is not, then I am well within my rights to petition my captain and as many other captains as I require to see him.

2nd Div. Captain Soi Fong to 4th Div. Vice-Captain Kotetsu Isane:

Vice-Captain Kotetsu, Seventh Seat Yamada is currently on leave. I am unaware of his whereabouts. I submit that it is suspicious that you, as his vice-captain and direct superior, would not know where he is after he submitted the proper paperwork to go on leave.

4th Div. Vice-Captain Kotetsu Isane to 2nd Div. Captain Soi Fong:

Captain Soi Fong: Whatever are you implying? And is it not your duty as the commander of the Special Forces to be apprised of the movements of all our forces during wartime? I believe it is far more suspicious that you do not know where he is.

2nd Div. Captain Soi Fong to 4th Div. Vice-Captain Kotetsu Isane:

Vice-Captain Kotetsu: I suggest you watch what you say. Some might consider such statements slander, for which I may have to prosecute you-Thoroughly.

4th Div. Vice-Captain Kotetsu Isane to 2nd Div. Captain Soi Fong (Private Line):

You cat obsessed, flat chested whore-Give him back or I'll send you to a frost-covered hell!

2nd Div. Captain Soi Fong to 4th Div. Vice-Captain Kotetsu Isane (Private Line):

You towering clumsy slut! I have claimed him for my future husband and I do not share! And just what could you hope to accomplish against me, nurse?

4th Div. Vice-Captain Kotetsu Isane to 2nd Div. Captain Soi Fong (Private Line):

In the words of Kurosaki Ichigo: BANKAI, BITCH!

4th Div. 7th Seat Yamada Hanatarou's Journal:

Wow, Urahara-san's training is really, really tough! I am making progress though, Hisagomaru has manifested to me. She's actually very pretty...

Ano? Why did I just feel a chill go down my spine?