Bleach Things Shinigami are not allowed to do
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134) Please do not open portals into Hell for the purposes of waste disposal.
134a) Yes, Kurotsuchi, the remains of your former experiments are waste.
134b) So are those you consider to be pathetically weak, and throw in in hopes that they'll return with a cursed axe, armor, and glowing eyes to give you a good fight, Kenpachi.
134c) Seriously, do you know how many times Koenma's been complaining about new S-Class demons popping up because of you two? You're lucky he's easily bribed!
135) There is no officially sponored version of Monopoly: Soul Society Edition. Aizen, stop it.
136) No, Jesus Christ is not a Shinigami, nor does he wield a bad-ass giant sword that nails people to crosses.
136a) Yes, I'm sure.
136b) No, he's not paying me off.
136c) Do I look like I have thirty silver pieces on me?!
136d) OUT OF MY ROOM, AIZEN! GOD IS NOT IN IT!
137) Do not go near Haruhi Suzumiya or her SOS Brigade. We have enough problems.
137b) Yes, this includes Kyon. While wimpy, he possesses sarcasm and overprotective females (and one male) with bizarre and deadly powers.
137c) GET BACK HERE, ZARAKI!
134a) Yes, Kurotsuchi, the remains of your former experiments are waste.
134b) So are those you consider to be pathetically weak, and throw in in hopes that they'll return with a cursed axe, armor, and glowing eyes to give you a good fight, Kenpachi.
134c) Seriously, do you know how many times Koenma's been complaining about new S-Class demons popping up because of you two? You're lucky he's easily bribed!
135) There is no officially sponored version of Monopoly: Soul Society Edition. Aizen, stop it.
136) No, Jesus Christ is not a Shinigami, nor does he wield a bad-ass giant sword that nails people to crosses.
136a) Yes, I'm sure.
136b) No, he's not paying me off.
136c) Do I look like I have thirty silver pieces on me?!
136d) OUT OF MY ROOM, AIZEN! GOD IS NOT IN IT!
137) Do not go near Haruhi Suzumiya or her SOS Brigade. We have enough problems.
137b) Yes, this includes Kyon. While wimpy, he possesses sarcasm and overprotective females (and one male) with bizarre and deadly powers.
137c) GET BACK HERE, ZARAKI!
141. Captain Zaraki's previous life was NOT Gan Ning of Wu. Even though the violent attitude and the bells seem to point to that.
141-b. He also is not Xiahou Dun of Wei. Although there is no doubt in my mind that if he ever was struck in his eye by an arrow he'd rip eye and arrow out and eat the former. Just because he can.
142. If you encounter a young man named Naota with funky tattoos that glow green (or red when he's very tired)... do not piss him off. Nine Vasto Lorde can destroy all of Seireitei. The Hitoshura can do it alone and still be in time for breakfast.
143. If you ever meet a huge guy in purple armor with squared pupils who talks about 'hunger' and is assembling some high-tech contraption, run away. You can't beat Galactus, and you shouldn't even try, because he too has a job to do. It sucks for Earth, but what can we say?
141-b. He also is not Xiahou Dun of Wei. Although there is no doubt in my mind that if he ever was struck in his eye by an arrow he'd rip eye and arrow out and eat the former. Just because he can.
142. If you encounter a young man named Naota with funky tattoos that glow green (or red when he's very tired)... do not piss him off. Nine Vasto Lorde can destroy all of Seireitei. The Hitoshura can do it alone and still be in time for breakfast.
143. If you ever meet a huge guy in purple armor with squared pupils who talks about 'hunger' and is assembling some high-tech contraption, run away. You can't beat Galactus, and you shouldn't even try, because he too has a job to do. It sucks for Earth, but what can we say?
142. While Captain Kurotsuchi has agreed not to experiment upon participants in such peaceful extra-curricular activities as Vice-Captain Kurotsuchi's Exalted campaigns, he makes no such promise regarding those playing Live Action Paranoia in the Twelth Division's headquarters.
142a. Colorcoding shinigami uniforms to denote rank and authority is not permitted. They were black when the dinosaurs died out, they were black when the Captain-General killed his first Hollow and they were black when the dinosaurs evolved. They're staying black.
143b. Captain Gin is reminded that telling citizens of Rukongai that happiness is mandatory and then asking if they are happy does not present an image of the Shinigami that is harmonious.
142a. Colorcoding shinigami uniforms to denote rank and authority is not permitted. They were black when the dinosaurs died out, they were black when the Captain-General killed his first Hollow and they were black when the dinosaurs evolved. They're staying black.
143b. Captain Gin is reminded that telling citizens of Rukongai that happiness is mandatory and then asking if they are happy does not present an image of the Shinigami that is harmonious.
144) All issues of Icha-Icha: Soul Society Beach Party by Jiraiya are to be delivered to the SWA without delay.
144a) We have the list of who he sold them too and how many were published, If there not all accounted for we're giving the president some pixy sticks and coke and throwing her into the hold outs division - Shinigami Women's Association
144a) We have the list of who he sold them too and how many were published, If there not all accounted for we're giving the president some pixy sticks and coke and throwing her into the hold outs division - Shinigami Women's Association
t: which one are we registering as rule 142 garra's or drakensis?151) No spreading rumors that if Captain Kenpachi's sword hit Chuck Norris's beard the world will end since an unstoppable force hit an unmovable object.
151a) Aizen, this means you.
151b) And Captain Kenpachi, do NOT go after Chuck Norris... We do not know if the rumor is true
151c) Captain Mayuri, No experimenting on Chuck Norris's beard either.
151a) Aizen, this means you.
151b) And Captain Kenpachi, do NOT go after Chuck Norris... We do not know if the rumor is true
151c) Captain Mayuri, No experimenting on Chuck Norris's beard either.
153. No Kenpachi, you cannot become Captain-General by killing all of the captains above you.
153.A. There is no such thing as a Seratai Assassin's Association. I will not tell academy student that there is one.
153.B. I am to disreguard all rumors of the SAA as just that, unsubstantiated rumors.
153.C. Epically if said rumors originated from a Frenchwoman named Sylvia Crystal.
154. Captain Kurotsuchi is to cease attempts to have a schizophrenic Shinigami manifest his alternate personalties as living beings, much less dangerous living beings.
155. The Captain-General is not to be addressed as Harman Smith, it is Yatamoto-sama or by his rank.
155.A. The Captain-General does not have a God-Slaying anti-tank rifle nor does he have frequent chess games with the first Vasto-Lorde.
156. On a related note, all games by SUDA 51 are banned from Seratai. They may be only played while on leave in the living world and after an extensive psychological exam.
156.A. Captains Zaraki and Mayrui are forbidden from taking these exams.
153.A. There is no such thing as a Seratai Assassin's Association. I will not tell academy student that there is one.
153.B. I am to disreguard all rumors of the SAA as just that, unsubstantiated rumors.
153.C. Epically if said rumors originated from a Frenchwoman named Sylvia Crystal.
154. Captain Kurotsuchi is to cease attempts to have a schizophrenic Shinigami manifest his alternate personalties as living beings, much less dangerous living beings.
155. The Captain-General is not to be addressed as Harman Smith, it is Yatamoto-sama or by his rank.
155.A. The Captain-General does not have a God-Slaying anti-tank rifle nor does he have frequent chess games with the first Vasto-Lorde.
156. On a related note, all games by SUDA 51 are banned from Seratai. They may be only played while on leave in the living world and after an extensive psychological exam.
156.A. Captains Zaraki and Mayrui are forbidden from taking these exams.
157) The Shinigami Women's Association is strictly forbidden from kidnapping "boyfriends".
157a) We don't need another "Tenchi Incident".
157b) I don't care if he is "a nice guy" Kiyone, Belldandy-sama has released her seals and is heading this way.
157c) For the love of Kami-sama, if you want a nice guy for a boyfriend, train a member of the 4th division. Any shinigami who attempt to "kidnap" a mortal to become their boy/girl friend will be given to Soi Fong to "shapen them up". Unohana has given Soi Fond a carte blanche to do what ever is needed.
157a) We don't need another "Tenchi Incident".
157b) I don't care if he is "a nice guy" Kiyone, Belldandy-sama has released her seals and is heading this way.
157c) For the love of Kami-sama, if you want a nice guy for a boyfriend, train a member of the 4th division. Any shinigami who attempt to "kidnap" a mortal to become their boy/girl friend will be given to Soi Fong to "shapen them up". Unohana has given Soi Fond a carte blanche to do what ever is needed.
158) Despite the flattering rumor, the Captain-General does not 'bang a dozen chicks every morning'.
158a) Yeah, it's more like twenty...
158b) Dammit, Urahara, shut up!
158c) The women of Soul Society need to be warned! Behind that old-man appearance is a beast! A bea- *the rest is obscured by bloodstains*
158d) Spreading false rumors about the Captain-General that get in the way of his getting noo- er, that is, undermine his authority, will be severely punished.
158a) Yeah, it's more like twenty...
158b) Dammit, Urahara, shut up!
158c) The women of Soul Society need to be warned! Behind that old-man appearance is a beast! A bea- *the rest is obscured by bloodstains*
158d) Spreading false rumors about the Captain-General that get in the way of his getting noo- er, that is, undermine his authority, will be severely punished.