Evangelion Evangelion Time Loop
- Thread starter Innortal
- Start date
As the lights came on, the bay was fully illuminated.
ôThis is Evangelion Unit 01,ö said Ritsuko, launching into her prepared speech. ôIt isùö
ôPurple.ö
Blinking, she turned to the Third Child. ôExcuse me?ö
ôItÆs purple,ö Shinji responded, shaking his head in sadness. ôYou took a mecha and painted it purple of all things.ö
ôAnd what is wrong with purple?ö asked Ritsuko with a glare.
ôWell, for one thing,ö said Shinji, ôthis is my momÆs grave/tomb,ö he said.
ôHi Mom!ö he said with a cheer, waving at the Evangelion. ôSo someone painted you purple, huh? I remember how you said you hated that color, you called it æso gayÆ, I think. But those memories are a little fuzzy, what with the non-repressed mental trauma compounded by my abandonment issues,ö he finished, scratching his head.
ôAh, I get it!ö said Shinji with a smile. ôThe Old Man painted you purple, huh?ö
ôYouÆre taking this pretty well,ö groused Misato.
ôAinÆt like this is the first mecha IÆve seen,ö Shinji waved off.
<hr>
ôNow Shinji,ö said Misato over the microphone to Eva 01, ôjust concentrate on walking.ö
ôWalking!ö Shinji shouted back. ôTen minutes ago, you were insisting all I had to do was sit in it! Now you expect me to take my motherÆs sacred burial chamber into combat? Have you no decency, woman?ö
ôQuit whining like a little boy!ö she yelled.
ôOh, IÆm sorry; am I upsetting the adult trained in fighting who is safely under the city and away from the giant erà Hey, what were those things the bad guys always sent after Voltron?ö
ôGod damn it!ö came MisatoÆs yell over the speaker.
ôScrew this,ö said Shinji. ôHey Mom, if you want to have some fun, go ahead. Hell, pretend that thing is the Old Man and show him what you think of being painted purple.ö
And with that, Unit 01 went berserk.
<hr>
ôIkari?ö
ôYes, Sensei.ö
ôIt would appear a new paint job of Unit 01 is also in need of being planned,ö the Sub-Commander responded, watching as the Eva was now beating the Third Angel with its own legùthe other leg currently sticking out of one of the AngelÆs eye sockets.
ôI was certain she liked purpleàö
ôThis is Evangelion Unit 01,ö said Ritsuko, launching into her prepared speech. ôIt isùö
ôPurple.ö
Blinking, she turned to the Third Child. ôExcuse me?ö
ôItÆs purple,ö Shinji responded, shaking his head in sadness. ôYou took a mecha and painted it purple of all things.ö
ôAnd what is wrong with purple?ö asked Ritsuko with a glare.
ôWell, for one thing,ö said Shinji, ôthis is my momÆs grave/tomb,ö he said.
ôHi Mom!ö he said with a cheer, waving at the Evangelion. ôSo someone painted you purple, huh? I remember how you said you hated that color, you called it æso gayÆ, I think. But those memories are a little fuzzy, what with the non-repressed mental trauma compounded by my abandonment issues,ö he finished, scratching his head.
ôAh, I get it!ö said Shinji with a smile. ôThe Old Man painted you purple, huh?ö
ôYouÆre taking this pretty well,ö groused Misato.
ôAinÆt like this is the first mecha IÆve seen,ö Shinji waved off.
<hr>
ôNow Shinji,ö said Misato over the microphone to Eva 01, ôjust concentrate on walking.ö
ôWalking!ö Shinji shouted back. ôTen minutes ago, you were insisting all I had to do was sit in it! Now you expect me to take my motherÆs sacred burial chamber into combat? Have you no decency, woman?ö
ôQuit whining like a little boy!ö she yelled.
ôOh, IÆm sorry; am I upsetting the adult trained in fighting who is safely under the city and away from the giant erà Hey, what were those things the bad guys always sent after Voltron?ö
ôGod damn it!ö came MisatoÆs yell over the speaker.
ôScrew this,ö said Shinji. ôHey Mom, if you want to have some fun, go ahead. Hell, pretend that thing is the Old Man and show him what you think of being painted purple.ö
And with that, Unit 01 went berserk.
<hr>
ôIkari?ö
ôYes, Sensei.ö
ôIt would appear a new paint job of Unit 01 is also in need of being planned,ö the Sub-Commander responded, watching as the Eva was now beating the Third Angel with its own legùthe other leg currently sticking out of one of the AngelÆs eye sockets.
ôI was certain she liked purpleàö
Maybe it was the color of her favorite dildo... Oh man I just had a horrible thought. Perverted!Yui has been done a fair bit before in crack but what if she was that way because of so stuck in Unit One? So long without any form of sexual release, even masturbation, and along comes the angel that looks like a giant penis. Shinji blacks out again and Yui goes bezerk and... Yeah. Though wasn't that the one with Kensuke and Touji inside the Eva too? That would probably make things even worse somehow.
Shinji cursed silently to himself as Unit 01 continued sinking into the black shadow of the 12th Angel.
However many hundreds of times it's been now, and this still happens almost every time!
He pulled on the handle controls wildly in anger, but unable to find any purchase, his Eva continued to sink.
Fuck it.
Using all of his willpower, he forced the Evangelion into a standing position, with one arm across the Eva's stomach, palm up, supporting the elbow of the other arm. The hand on that arm was held in front of the Eva's face in a fist, except for the first two fingers, which pointed straight up.
As the tip of the horn of the Eva disappeared into darkness, Shinji Ikari's last communication crackled over the comm system.
"Ninja. . . Vanish."
However many hundreds of times it's been now, and this still happens almost every time!
He pulled on the handle controls wildly in anger, but unable to find any purchase, his Eva continued to sink.
Fuck it.
Using all of his willpower, he forced the Evangelion into a standing position, with one arm across the Eva's stomach, palm up, supporting the elbow of the other arm. The hand on that arm was held in front of the Eva's face in a fist, except for the first two fingers, which pointed straight up.
As the tip of the horn of the Eva disappeared into darkness, Shinji Ikari's last communication crackled over the comm system.
"Ninja. . . Vanish."
By now Shinji had realized that this was one of those loops, a loop where he was not under the thumb of his asshole father or having to pilot an eva to save the world from gendo's stupidity. this however did not mean he was able to avoid battle.
'figures.' he thought with a frown as the sky above cracked and shattered allowing hundreds of black bodied white faced creatures to fall through and land in the town. sighing he reached behind his back and felt the hot surge of electricity envelop his arm, "OI wake up bitch,got work to do!"
a growl and a short outburst of electricity later (aimed at him, no one calls Rankouge a bitch. EVER.) The mild mannered looking boy disappeared replaced with the former third seat Shinji Ikari of fifth division.
"Show time."
-----------------
if no one gets this, he looped into bleach at around the time Ishida and Ichigo were having there contest. Shinji's zanpakto courtesy of Sudden Death by fosfor-sama
'figures.' he thought with a frown as the sky above cracked and shattered allowing hundreds of black bodied white faced creatures to fall through and land in the town. sighing he reached behind his back and felt the hot surge of electricity envelop his arm, "OI wake up bitch,got work to do!"
a growl and a short outburst of electricity later (aimed at him, no one calls Rankouge a bitch. EVER.) The mild mannered looking boy disappeared replaced with the former third seat Shinji Ikari of fifth division.
"Show time."
-----------------
if no one gets this, he looped into bleach at around the time Ishida and Ichigo were having there contest. Shinji's zanpakto courtesy of Sudden Death by fosfor-sama
ôWhy did think this cave was a good idea?ö Shinji asked himself. He noticed it on this loop and figured itÆd be better then waiting for Misato come back with parts for her car again.
Shinji then slipped and fell down a hole.
ôOwe.ö Shinji said as he landed on his butt.
Shinji stumbled around the cave until he found his undamaged flashlight. Then he saw a strange object on the ground of the cave. It looked like nothing he had ever seen before.
The technology object was shaped like home base with an M on it. Shinji grabbed it and red, purple, and green streams of light flew off out of it. Shinji had no idea where the beams were going and given the amount of loops heÆd been through that surprised, excited and frightened him.
Suddenly the cause of that mess changed. It transformed into a blue and back humanoid robot.
ôHi IÆm High Wire.ö The robot said.
ôIÆm Shinji Ikari.ö Shinji said recovering from his surprise quickly.
ôWe need to get out of here before the bulks show up.ö Highwire said ôWhen they start shooting at each other you donÆt want to be underfoot.ö
-
ôSo you found an alien device, and brought an alien war to Earth?ö Misato asked.
ôPretty much.ö Shinji said ôSticking our noses where it shouldnÆt be is a family trait. ô
Misato groaned and wondered if she had enough to drink at her apartment.
Elsewhere High Wire was having a chat with MAGI.
ôSo humans are egotistical, driven by out of control emotions, and really stupid?ö High Wire asked.
ôYep.ö MAGI said.
ôSlag it! ThatÆs what we left Cybertron to avoid.ö Highwire said ôThank Primus I talk to everyone but Shinji and you in beeps.ö
Shinji then slipped and fell down a hole.
ôOwe.ö Shinji said as he landed on his butt.
Shinji stumbled around the cave until he found his undamaged flashlight. Then he saw a strange object on the ground of the cave. It looked like nothing he had ever seen before.
The technology object was shaped like home base with an M on it. Shinji grabbed it and red, purple, and green streams of light flew off out of it. Shinji had no idea where the beams were going and given the amount of loops heÆd been through that surprised, excited and frightened him.
Suddenly the cause of that mess changed. It transformed into a blue and back humanoid robot.
ôHi IÆm High Wire.ö The robot said.
ôIÆm Shinji Ikari.ö Shinji said recovering from his surprise quickly.
ôWe need to get out of here before the bulks show up.ö Highwire said ôWhen they start shooting at each other you donÆt want to be underfoot.ö
-
ôSo you found an alien device, and brought an alien war to Earth?ö Misato asked.
ôPretty much.ö Shinji said ôSticking our noses where it shouldnÆt be is a family trait. ô
Misato groaned and wondered if she had enough to drink at her apartment.
Elsewhere High Wire was having a chat with MAGI.
ôSo humans are egotistical, driven by out of control emotions, and really stupid?ö High Wire asked.
ôYep.ö MAGI said.
ôSlag it! ThatÆs what we left Cybertron to avoid.ö Highwire said ôThank Primus I talk to everyone but Shinji and you in beeps.ö
It had taken him nearly the full hour he had been awake so far in this Loop to pull it off. He had barely finished his tailoring when the Third Angel had arrived, barely gotten his new outfit on before Misato arrived to have her car take the brunt of the exploding JSSDFÆs vehicle.
Now he had unnerved her enough to lead her to the elevator that Ritsuko would come out through.
Yes, everything was going to his plan. Now for the initial salvo towards his old man in Operation: Mindfuck.
<hr>
Ritsuko shook her head, clearing her thoughts. It was just the undried LCL on her suit, not any dampness from a fourteen-year-old making her body flood with desire. I may need to start reading some therapy books. This power-fetish may be getting out of hand. ôThis isùö
ôI know what this is, Dr. Akagi,ö said Shinji, dressed in a military-like uniform that strongly resembled his fatherÆs. He even adjusted a similar pair of yellow-tinted glasses as he stared ahead. ôUnlike NERV, SEELE, the supposed Human Instrumentality Commission, and even the UN; my information network is very thorough. I am well aware that this is Evangelion Unit 01, created primarily by my mother, as a tool and weapon to confront the Angels upon their return.
ôI am however surprised that after all of this time, this and its cousins are the only viable weapon at the disposal of the human race.ö
Misato and Ritsuko blinked at the kid, shocked not only at his depths of knowledge, but at his perfect delivery of said information in a manner exactly like Gendo.
ôNow if the psychological profile of Gendo Ikari was accurate as my sources insist, then he is likely watching this from somewhere.ö Shinji tilted his head up, spotting his father standing on the sealed platformùdisplayed by what Shinji knew to be bullet-resistant glass from several assassination attemptsùand arched an eyebrow. ôAs expected.ö
Gendo stared down at his child, his mind trying furiously to do two things.
The first was to understand why those who watched him had failed to report such a change in the boy. This was no quiet wallflower with self-esteem issues.
In addition, the second was to not imagine Ritsuko saying, ôWe created a clone of you, one-eighth your size.ö
ôI know why you summoned me, Commander Ikari,ö Shinji continued, removing his glasses and his handkerchief to clean them, his eyes closed. ôI also fail to see any reasonable compensation for me to risk my continued mortal existence upon.ö
Misato gawked at the boy. ôWait, what?ö
ôCaptain Katsuragi, I was to be labeled the Third Child,ö added Shinji. ôThe Commander had hoped to bully me with emotional blackmail to pilot this Evangelion Unit to combat the Angel currently attempting to track down the parent calling it here, believing that it is finding the First Angel.ö He had to fight hard not to smile as he caught a glimpse of shock on his fatherÆs face as he opened his eyes once more. After all, he had hinted perfectly that he knew what really laid buried under NERV to his father and Dr. Akagi.
ôHowever,ö Shinji continued, pulling out a small detonator box and flipped open the cover for the detonator switch, ôsuch actions are unnecessary at this moment.ö
With that, he pressed the button.
ôBlue Pattern has à been silenced,ö came a reply over the intercom, as the eyes of everyone in the chamber focused on the Third Child as he slid the remote detonator into his pocket once again.
It really didnÆt do anything except send a radio signal out into Tokyo-3. Shinji had merely used a trick Tabris had taught him to bypass the AngelÆs will and make it instantly self-destruct.
However, they didnÆt need to know that. As far as they knew now, Shinji not only had a lot of information he shouldnÆt, but access to effect toys to eliminate the Angels with the literal push of a button.
ôDr. Akagi,ö Shinji continued, turning to walk out the nearby door, ôI want a Synchronization Test scheduled in three hours to test my compatibility with Unit 01. If I must deal with this farce, so be it. I shall have a list of my terms and compensation packages ready by then; both of which are not negotiable. I after all have many methods to survive Third Impact intact.
ôIf I am needed before that, I shall be in the cafeteria. I believe they are serving pizza today for the meal.
ôDismissed,ö he said, as the door closed behind him.
Ritsuko just stared at the door, face pale. She really needed to find that self-help book soon. I think I just had an orgasm.
Misato just stared in shock. ôOkay, what the fuck just happened?ö she asked. ôDid he just destroy the Angel?ö
Gendo said nothing as he turned and walked down the hallway. He was torn between feeling proud of his child and having him interrogated by Section 2 until he got answers. Either way, the Committee would not be pleased.
ôI need a drink,ö he murmured, rubbing his forehead.
<hr>
As Shinji continued to walk down the hallway, he let a small smile appear on his face. After all, the fact he wasnÆt currently laying on the ground laughing his ass off, he considered this a major victory.
Now he had unnerved her enough to lead her to the elevator that Ritsuko would come out through.
Yes, everything was going to his plan. Now for the initial salvo towards his old man in Operation: Mindfuck.
<hr>
Ritsuko shook her head, clearing her thoughts. It was just the undried LCL on her suit, not any dampness from a fourteen-year-old making her body flood with desire. I may need to start reading some therapy books. This power-fetish may be getting out of hand. ôThis isùö
ôI know what this is, Dr. Akagi,ö said Shinji, dressed in a military-like uniform that strongly resembled his fatherÆs. He even adjusted a similar pair of yellow-tinted glasses as he stared ahead. ôUnlike NERV, SEELE, the supposed Human Instrumentality Commission, and even the UN; my information network is very thorough. I am well aware that this is Evangelion Unit 01, created primarily by my mother, as a tool and weapon to confront the Angels upon their return.
ôI am however surprised that after all of this time, this and its cousins are the only viable weapon at the disposal of the human race.ö
Misato and Ritsuko blinked at the kid, shocked not only at his depths of knowledge, but at his perfect delivery of said information in a manner exactly like Gendo.
ôNow if the psychological profile of Gendo Ikari was accurate as my sources insist, then he is likely watching this from somewhere.ö Shinji tilted his head up, spotting his father standing on the sealed platformùdisplayed by what Shinji knew to be bullet-resistant glass from several assassination attemptsùand arched an eyebrow. ôAs expected.ö
Gendo stared down at his child, his mind trying furiously to do two things.
The first was to understand why those who watched him had failed to report such a change in the boy. This was no quiet wallflower with self-esteem issues.
In addition, the second was to not imagine Ritsuko saying, ôWe created a clone of you, one-eighth your size.ö
ôI know why you summoned me, Commander Ikari,ö Shinji continued, removing his glasses and his handkerchief to clean them, his eyes closed. ôI also fail to see any reasonable compensation for me to risk my continued mortal existence upon.ö
Misato gawked at the boy. ôWait, what?ö
ôCaptain Katsuragi, I was to be labeled the Third Child,ö added Shinji. ôThe Commander had hoped to bully me with emotional blackmail to pilot this Evangelion Unit to combat the Angel currently attempting to track down the parent calling it here, believing that it is finding the First Angel.ö He had to fight hard not to smile as he caught a glimpse of shock on his fatherÆs face as he opened his eyes once more. After all, he had hinted perfectly that he knew what really laid buried under NERV to his father and Dr. Akagi.
ôHowever,ö Shinji continued, pulling out a small detonator box and flipped open the cover for the detonator switch, ôsuch actions are unnecessary at this moment.ö
With that, he pressed the button.
ôBlue Pattern has à been silenced,ö came a reply over the intercom, as the eyes of everyone in the chamber focused on the Third Child as he slid the remote detonator into his pocket once again.
It really didnÆt do anything except send a radio signal out into Tokyo-3. Shinji had merely used a trick Tabris had taught him to bypass the AngelÆs will and make it instantly self-destruct.
However, they didnÆt need to know that. As far as they knew now, Shinji not only had a lot of information he shouldnÆt, but access to effect toys to eliminate the Angels with the literal push of a button.
ôDr. Akagi,ö Shinji continued, turning to walk out the nearby door, ôI want a Synchronization Test scheduled in three hours to test my compatibility with Unit 01. If I must deal with this farce, so be it. I shall have a list of my terms and compensation packages ready by then; both of which are not negotiable. I after all have many methods to survive Third Impact intact.
ôIf I am needed before that, I shall be in the cafeteria. I believe they are serving pizza today for the meal.
ôDismissed,ö he said, as the door closed behind him.
Ritsuko just stared at the door, face pale. She really needed to find that self-help book soon. I think I just had an orgasm.
Misato just stared in shock. ôOkay, what the fuck just happened?ö she asked. ôDid he just destroy the Angel?ö
Gendo said nothing as he turned and walked down the hallway. He was torn between feeling proud of his child and having him interrogated by Section 2 until he got answers. Either way, the Committee would not be pleased.
ôI need a drink,ö he murmured, rubbing his forehead.
<hr>
As Shinji continued to walk down the hallway, he let a small smile appear on his face. After all, the fact he wasnÆt currently laying on the ground laughing his ass off, he considered this a major victory.
