Bleach Peer Review Omake Thread
- Thread starter Andrew Joshua Talon
- Start date
Nemu Ishida to Crowd:
Rukia to Nel:
Nel to Rukia:
Hinamori to Nel:
Orihime to All:
Uryu Ishida to Kurosaki Ichigo:
Ichigo to Uryu:
I will now proceed to throw the bouquet. Please proceed with tradition and attempt to catch it.
Rukia to Nel:
MINE!
Nel to Rukia:
FAT CHANCE MIDGET!
Hinamori to Nel:
OUT OF MY WAY, BIMBO! IT'S MINE!
Orihime to All:
SITTING BULLLL! I REJECT!
Uryu Ishida to Kurosaki Ichigo:
... Thank you so much for providing the entertainment for this wedding. Really.
Ichigo to Uryu:
(Indistinct groaning sounds)
Ulquiorra to Halibel
Halibel to Ulquiorra
Ulquiorra to Halibel
Halibel to Ulquiorra
Ulquiorra to Halibel
Halibel to Ulquiorra
I'm somewhat curious as to this custom.á I know that the one to catch the bouquet is assumed to be the next to get married.á Out of curiosity, what is the consequence when four women manage to grab the bouquet simultaneously and subsequently tear it to shreds?
The consequences include, but are not limited to, four women getting absolutely furious with each other...
And engaging in a knock-down, drag-out cat-fight, upstaging the bride in the process?
...no, I don't believe that's what happens at a normal wedding.
The last of the quincies is marrying a spiritual artificial construct with a half-hollow half-shinigami best man in the presence of shinigami, hollows, arrancar, vaizard, and gikongan.á In which particular way would this be considered a normal wedding?
...Point taken.
Sado "Chad" Yasutora to Ishida Uryu
Ishida Uryu to Chad
Sado "Chad" Yasutora to Ishida Uryu
Ishida Uryu to Chad
Could you tell me where Ichigo went to? I need to ask him how he deals with multiple girls of nonhuman nature seeking his heart (and bed)
I think you'll have to wait until he recovers, he tried to get between the girls and got caught in the crossfire
I'm going to die aren't I?
Probably, now do you see the intelligence in staying with only one demanding and potentially sadistic woman?
Yamamoto Soutaicho to the Gotei 13 (General Announcement)
Yamamoto Soutaicho to Urahara Sanseki-Taicho
Geta-Boshi to Yama-jii
Kira Izuru to Hisagi Shuuhei
Hisagi Shuuhei to Kira Izuru
Aizen to Gin
Gin to Aizen
...Earlier this morning, Urahara Kisuke and Ichimaru Gin were seen conducting a...competition in the 3rd Barracks common room, at the time when over two hundred of the division in question were present to witness the...climax of the battle, in which Ichimaru Gin was...beaten.
The laws of Soul Society are quite clear, and thus it is my duty to announce that as of this moment, Urahara Kisuke has been reinstated to the Gotei 13, at the rank of Captain of the 3rd Division.
The laws of Soul Society are quite clear, and thus it is my duty to announce that as of this moment, Urahara Kisuke has been reinstated to the Gotei 13, at the rank of Captain of the 3rd Division.
Yamamoto Soutaicho to Urahara Sanseki-Taicho
I don't know how you pulled that off.? I don't know how you managed to convince Gin to cooperate with you, I don't know how you managed to get back into the Rukongai area, let alone Seireitei.? But bear this in mind; we have CENTURIES of legal documents and precedents to hunt through.
I wouldn't get too comfortable in your position just yet.
I wouldn't get too comfortable in your position just yet.
Geta-Boshi to Yama-jii
Centuries of legal documents and precedents that I went over LONG before I put this little plan in motion.? How did I get back into Seireitei?? You never bothered to seal it against Garganta, remember?? And while I may not have hollow powers, I DO have the needed technology.
As for Gin?? THAT...is a secret...
As for Gin?? THAT...is a secret...
Kira Izuru to Hisagi Shuuhei
My new division captain got his position by winning a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors with an admitted traitor...I'm serving an organization that lets traitors keep their rank, and that lets a game a five-year-old could win at determine who attains the highest possible rank...
...I need to get drunk.? Would you mind dragging my body back to my quarters after I pass out?? I'd ask one of my division members, but most of them are also getting thoroughly drunk, so it's kind of a moot point.
...I need to get drunk.? Would you mind dragging my body back to my quarters after I pass out?? I'd ask one of my division members, but most of them are also getting thoroughly drunk, so it's kind of a moot point.
Hisagi Shuuhei to Kira Izuru
Why not just get Matsumoto to do it?? She'd probably be willing to go out and get thoroughly drunk too...after she finds out that Gin was back a...few minutes...
I think I just answered my own question.
...come to think of it, where is Matsumoto?
I think I just answered my own question.
...come to think of it, where is Matsumoto?
Aizen to Gin
Where were you?? And more to the point, why are your clothes in shreds?? And while we're on the subject, why are you covered in welts?
Gin to Aizen
Have you ever had this burning desire to absolutely infuriate a woman, just because you could, but in a way that she couldn't really blame you for it, which just ended up pissing her off even more?
Try smiling the whole time as a woman tries to beat you into submission.? Good times...
Try smiling the whole time as a woman tries to beat you into submission.? Good times...
Ulquiorra to Grimmjow
Grimmjow to Ulquiorra
Grimmjow to Ulquiorra, five minutes later
Ulquiorra to Aizen
Aizen to Ulquiorra
Stark to all other Espada
On the subject of the missing remote, it occurs to me that Tousen hasn't been around here recently.? If you would go and ask him if he might have happened to see it recently?
Eh, normally I'll tell to you to go blow a goat or something, but Gin's being creepier than usual today and I was looking for an excuse to get away.? I'll go see what the only guy here with a stick further up his ass than you knows about it.
"Go ask Tousen what he's seen"?? Real funny.? If I still had a left hand, care to guess which finger I'd be holding up?? The only plus side is I get to see that Orihime chick again.? Her rack's even better than Halibel's, that ass is so far out of this world it's in the goddamn Soul Society, and I get to smack that limp-dicked dye job motherfucker around some more after I sample the goods.? A twofer, yanno?? Have fun slap-boxing the one-eyed champ with Yammy, I'm out of this shithole.
Did you ever come up with a perfect plan, execute it flawlessly, and still have it somehow end up going horribly wrong?
Of course not.? Besides, I always use a touch of Absolute Hypnosis to clear up any evidence of failure.
Now you all know that I normally don't take this whole Primera thing seriously.? I mean, even if I wasn't too lazy to be bothered, trying to get all of you to do something productive without just blowing it all to hell would probably violate some basic Espada rule or something.? In this case, however, I think we may actually have work together if we want to have any chance of surviving the next few hours.
You see, I just remembered the last time I happened to see the remote for the rec room TV.? It was on the Couch.
Since none of us seem to have taken it, Gin's too busy getting dominated by Tits McGee over in Soul Society to have bothered, and Tousen doesn't have the balls to risk pissing off Aizen like this, I think we may have to face up to the fact that it disappeared into the recesses of the Couch.? And God help us all, but we're going to have to go in there and get it back.
You see, I just remembered the last time I happened to see the remote for the rec room TV.? It was on the Couch.
Since none of us seem to have taken it, Gin's too busy getting dominated by Tits McGee over in Soul Society to have bothered, and Tousen doesn't have the balls to risk pissing off Aizen like this, I think we may have to face up to the fact that it disappeared into the recesses of the Couch.? And God help us all, but we're going to have to go in there and get it back.
Nnoitra to Stark
Zommari to Nnoitra
Nnoitra to Zommari
Ulquiorra to Nnoitra
Nnoitra to Tesla
Grimmjow to Nnoitra
COUNT ME THE FUCK OUT! THAT'S HOW WONDERWEISS GOT ALL FUCKED UP, REMEMBER?!?
Wasn't that because you'd lost Tesla's spare eye patch?
FUCK OFF, YOU BROWN-NOSER!
Shut up and go find it. You say that you're the strongest of us, then go prove it by rooting around in the couch.
TESLA! FIND THE TV REMOTE! IT SHOULD BE SOMEWHERE IN THE COUCH!
Ooh, getting a pig to root around for treasure, that's new.
Tesla to Nnoitra-sama
Tesla to self
Tesla to Nnoitra-sama
Tesla to self
Nnoitra-sama to idiot
Nnoitra-sama to idiot
Yes Nnoitra-sama! At once!
Oh sure, I had to be the fraccion of the misogynist mantis. I couldn't have ended up with the centaur babe, noooo it had to be the sadist.
I have arrived at the Couch, I will begin my investigation shortly
Let's see, blood from Grimmjow's last idiotic method to irritate the blind fanatic, a jug of sake from the incident that never happened and didn't involve Halibel's fraccion - OUCH- a small trap left by Gin in the jug, one of Nnoitra-sama's arms from the time with the DDR machine, this is going to take forever. Now that I think about it, this thing really looks different without the cushions. Sort of like those springs were...really
Oi! Is it in there?
Idiot?
Nnoitra to all Espada:
Grimmjow to all Espada:
Stark to all Espada:
Szayel-Aporro to Stark:
Everyone to Szayel-Aporro:
Szayel-Aporro to all Espada:
Grimmjow to all Espada:
Aaroniero to all Espada:
Stark to all Espada:
Barragan to Stark:
Yammy to Stark:
Aaroniero to Stark:
Szayel-Aporro to Stark:
Zommari to Stark:
Grimmjow to Stark:
Nnoitra to Stark:
Ulquiorra to Stark:
Halibel to Stark:
Stark to all Espada:
Barragan to all Espada:
Well, looks like the Couch just claimed another victim.á And since I'm now out one Fraccion, I need to go get a new one, leaving you sucke-I mean, gentlemen and bitch who needs to make me a sandwich to deal with it.á Hasta manana, people!
Grimmjow to all Espada:
....SON OF A BITCH!
Stark to all Espada:
Okay guys, Plan A appears to have royally backfired on us, as Nnoitra is still alive.á Also, we still haven't found the remote.á Options?
Szayel-Aporro to Stark:
Perhaps if we construct a giant wooden badger-
Everyone to Szayel-Aporro:
Szayel-Aporro to all Espada:
Where the hell did everyone's sense of fun go?
Grimmjow to all Espada:
Probably crawled up Barragan's ass and died, just like Zommari's nose or Ulquiorra's dick.
Aaroniero to all Espada:
Actually, Grimmjow has a good point buried in his usual brainless obscenity and insults.á Since Barragan spends most of his time sitting on that ginormous throne of his, he might have some insights into how to deal with unruly furniture.á And since he's a cranky old geezer who makes a full quarter of Las Noches smell like unwashed bedpans, it's not like we'd be risking anything of value in the process.
Stark to all Espada:
Aaroniero makes a compelling argument.á All in favor of sending Barragan in after the remote?
Barragan to Stark:
Emphatically no, and I'm sure my other colleagues won't be swayed by such slanderous remar-
Yammy to Stark:
Somebody else gets to be Mr. Expendable for a change? I am totally behind that.
Aaroniero to Stark:
What do you think?
Szayel-Aporro to Stark:
I'll be sure to document Barragan's journey, FOR SCIENCE!!!
And from a safe distance, of course
And from a safe distance, of course
Zommari to Stark:
Yes, for the glory of Aizen-sama!
Grimmjow to Stark:
Fuck yeah, let's do this!á I call dibs on his crown!
Nnoitra to Stark:
Ask Barragan to say hello to Tesla if he sees hiHalibel what a pleasant why are you locking the doors and putting on rubber gloves and pulling out your sword and OHGODTHEPAINMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPWHY
Ulquiorra to Stark:
Yes.á And while you're at it, tell Barragan that my crushed testicles are not an acceptable substitute for Viagra, and that trying to regrow them has as of yet been both unsuccessful and excruciatingly painful.
Halibel to Stark:
Thank you in advance for the promotion.á Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work on turning Nnoitra's misogyny into gynophobia.
Stark to all Espada:
And my vote makes nine to one in favor of sending Barragan in search of both the remote and a horrible, horrible death.á The ayes have it.á Godspeed, Barragan.
Barragan to all Espada:
...I hate you all.
Barragan to all Espada:
Vasto Lords to All:
Grimmjow to Vasto Lords:
Vasto Lords to Grimmjow:
Grimmjow to Vasto Lords:
Vasto Lords to Grimmjow:
Grimmjow to Vasto Lords:
Vasto Lords to Grimmjow:
Dear mother in heaven!!? Help me!? HELP ME!!!? THEY"RE BEYOND COMPREHENSION!!! SOMEBODY SAVE M-
Vasto Lords to All:
WHO DARES TRESPASS UPON THE REALM OF THE VASTO LORDS?!? NOW THAT WE HAVE BEEN DISTURBED< WE SHALL WRECK HAVOC UPON ALL WE SEE!!!
Wait, we've been searching all of Hueco Mundo for you, and you've been living in our sofa the whole time???
Yes.
:huh!:
Vasto Lords to Grimmjow:
We're surprised you didn't figure it out sooner.? Have you ever known a normal couch to devour everything that touches it?
...can we at leat have the remote?
Vasto Lords to Grimmjow:
Grimmjow to Vasto Lordes
Vasto Lordes to Grimmjow
Grimmjow to Vasto Lordes
Vasto Lordes to Grimmjow
Grimmjow to Vasto Lordes
Vasto Lordes to Grimmjow
Grimmjow to Vasto Lordes
Vasto Lordes to Grimmjow
So, anyway, our leader Aizen's been looking for you in order to transform you into Arrancar and make you the highest-ranking warriors in his army as part of an attempt to become the new King of Soul Society.
And this Aizen is a Shinigami, then?
Uhh... yeah. He's also a dick. And that the top four of his Espada are said to be like you guys before he transformed them into Arrancar.
Grimmjow to Vasto Lordes
Don't have anything to say?
Only this. The King of Soul Society could send Aizen packing with just his smallest toe, and we wouldn't have wanted to help a Shinigami of all things with some hissy fit he's throwing. Besides... we got better things to do.
Yeah? Like what?
Screwing around with humanity, for one thing. Nobody knows that we were responsible for teaching the first of what would come to call themselves the Quincy, did they?
Vasto Lordes to Uryuu:
Nah, not really.? We're just fucking with you.? We like doing that to people weaker than us, you see.? And since everyone's weaker than us, that means that we never run out of new material.
By the way, while we didn't create 4chan, at least one or two of us occasionally post on /b/.? And /d/.? It's fun times, really.
So, who wants a crown?? We seem to have acquired a spare just recently.
By the way, while we didn't create 4chan, at least one or two of us occasionally post on /b/.? And /d/.? It's fun times, really.
So, who wants a crown?? We seem to have acquired a spare just recently.
adevilinthedark said:
I LOVE this thread.
Wait, who the fuck was that?? I thought you Vastro Lordes were busy fucking with Bow Bitch and selling chunks of Barragan's corpse.
We are.? That wasn't one of us.
Did one of you bastards get in here somehow?
We haven't even been been able to sneak into the last couple of pages, so how in the fuck do you think we could - wait, did I just make a meta-reference?
...
Oh, fuck.
...
Oh, fuck.
WE HAVE A FOURTH WALL BREACH IN PROCESS!? ANYBODY WHO'S NOT TOO MUCH OF A PANSY TO FIGHT, GET UP HERE AND HELP US SEAL IT BEFORE SOMETHING WORSE GETS THROUGH!
Aizen to self
Aizen to all entities worth more than ten unranked shinigami.
Aizen to all
So that's where my dimension rip project went. It explains why we keep finding pennies there when no-one has any money. But where does it lead to?
If anyone attempts to approach the Couch to test your strength I will be displeased. I will express that displeasure by killing your loved ones, eating your pets, and releasing doujinshi showing you in depraved and improbable relationships with others. You have been warned.
On a related note to the last message, all entities that only manage to run around frantically and be knocked unconscious by teenagers are free to approach the Couch.
Shinigami butterfly caretaker to all
Shinigami butterfly caretaker to all
Um. On a somewhat related note, the butterflies are being used. A lot. As in "way too often" a lot. One, they are, pun not intended, dropping like flies. Two, and I have never seen this, striking, and three, are holding the butterfly caretakers as hostages. Please help.
HAHA! DISREGARD THAT I SUCK C- "end of message"
Captain-General Yamamoto to Shinigami Butterfly Caretakers
Y to butterfly farms institutions
Butterfly Farmers to Y
Your request is denied, the butterflies provide a vital service by maintaining communications to all Shinigami.
That had better be good enough, people are starting to ask questions
Just keep instant communication out of the place and you've got our funds