I'd make an April Fool's joke, but I'm too tired to think.
Wait! Got it! Monty Python references are a go!
**********************
Chapter 10
Two weeks later...
Happosai shook his head and sighed. "You three still haven't succeeded once, despite the near month I've been helping you?"
"Urgh, give us a break." Issei groaned. "Every time we think we got it something happens and it fails."
"Yes, well at least your clothes aren't exploding anymore." Ddrag pointed out helpfully. "If it helps, partner, neither I nor have any of my previous hosts did anything like this before."
"Why is this so hard?" Rias asked as she looked at Happosai. "Learning magic growing up was a lot easier than this. I've gone through some of Sairaorg's training when I was little, how come I can't do this?"
Happosai sighed and shook his head. "Truth is, I'm not sure. You're manipulating your auras in a way you've never done it before. I should mention that even among those who have mastered the skill of manipulating their aura, it still takes years to fully master."
"We can use magic." Xenovia retorted. "Why is this different?"
Happosai sighed heavily. "Well, that explains it I think. Even though I've gone over this, you're thinking this works like magic, though in your case," he pointed at Xenovia, "you're probably trying to brute force your way through everything, huh?"
Xenovia pouted, she got that a lot since she got here, as though she was just a muscle head who was only good for swinging Ex-Durandal around and not much else. 'Sad thing is, they're probably right.'
Issei growled and punched the ground. "I don't get it! Why can't I do it?!"
"Frustration doesn't help." Happosai shook his head. "Anyway, I think that's enough for today." He turned and walked off. Pausing to look back, he sighed heavily. It really wasn't their fault, they weren't used to doing stuff like this. After all, not everyone could be a prodigy when it came to combat.
After Happosai was gone, Issei sighed. "I don't get it."
"Don't worry, partner, even if I could do it, I've never done it, so don't try to force something that you can't do yet." Ddrag offered helpfully.
"I guess we're just not suited to do this, that's all." Rias commented. "At least we're not having our clothes explode every time we try anymore."
"Small miracles there." Both Xenovia and Issei commented, though neither had a problem with being naked when they were alone, it was the exploding clothes in public that bothered them.
Issei wondered if maybe his Dress Break skill was at fault for all those misfires. He shook his off and stood up. "Well, it kind of feels like we wasted a month."
"Not really." Rias smiled as she stood up and helped Xenovia up. "I feel a lot closer to the two of you because of it." She wouldn't admit it, but even though they would be heading to fight soon, as Odin had informed them that on the full moon, which was in two days, there was going to be a big event in Transylvania with the Vampires there. When asked about it, he just laughed and told them that his information network in Europe was almost unmatched.
"Too bad the old man won't help us out." Issei shook his head and sighed, wondering why Odin wasn't going to help them out but dismissed it. He didn't know where he heard it from, but it was never a good idea to rely on the Gods to help you with your problems, and Issei figured it was probably doubly true since he was a Devil.
"Yeah, but Vali said he would, since he's got questions for Jedah anyway."
"I think Vali wants to get away from Odin's teasing about being the Butt Dragon Emperor." Rias giggled in amusement as Xenovia and Issei both nodded and laughed. "Anyway, shall we get going?"
"Issei! Rias! Xenovia!" The three blinked and turned to see Rossweisse running up to them, well, bouncing up to them with how much her chest was bouncing all over the place. She wasn't even wearing anything super sexy, just a red track suit, but the bouncing...
"Issei, stop drooling." Rias ordered him. "Xenovia, stop drooling as well."
"I wasn't drooling." Xenovia protested, her face slightly flush. "Considering that you sleep in the nude and you two got me to do it as well, I've come to appreciate a nice pair of breasts, you know?"
"Everyone loves boobs." Issei giggled perversely. "Hey, Rossweisse, what's up?"
Rossweisse's face was a bit flush and she scratched her cheek before taking a deep breath and bowing. "There was a sale going on in town and there was all these cute things that I heard about and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go with me to go shopping?"
"Isn't it kind of late?" Issei asked in confusion.
"I was thinking tomorrow, sorry." Rossweisse poked her fingers together. "I mean, only if you're not busy and if you want to, but it's fine if you don't want to and I'll just have to make sure to take care of myself and..."
"Nah, it's fine." Issei waved her off. "Um, I mean, sure, it's just for a few hours, right?"
"Well, I don't intend to take that long." Rossweisse laughed and rubbed the back of her head at the flat stares that she was getting. "Um, sorry?"
"Shopping always takes hours, even if it's just to get some food." Rias crossed her arms under her breasts and held a finger up. "In fact, when I was little and went shopping with Grayfia, she always had a plan written out and we had to stick to it constantly because there were so many good things to buy and whenever I was left alone I ended up with a cart full of dolls, toys and other things to fill my room."
Issei, Xenovia and Rossweisse all sweat-dropped as none of them had the same experience growing up in affluence like Rias did.
"So do you want to go with Issei alone or do you want us to come with?" Xenovia asked and Rossweisse rubbed the back of her head and laughed softly.
"Well, I figure if there was lots of stuff that I would need extra help, so if you want to..."
"Sure." Rias smiled at her.
"Thanks." Rossweisse smiled back.
(---)
"You're still on cloud nine?" Akeno asked Koneko, who nodded, a small smile on her face as they cleaned up after training. "Must have been some date then." She giggled, remembering her own date. Nothing naughty had happened, but the fact that Issei had taken her to so many places and tried so many things out, including trying to get into a porn store, only to be thrown out by a big guy named Bubba. At least he apologized to them before tossing them out on their butts first.
Koneko nodded, a blush on her face as she remembered the date. "Uh huh... Issei-sempai was really nice." Other than hand holding, which someone had said was too lewd for their child's eyes, nothing much had happened, they had caught a movie, ate some food...
Well, there was the kiss that she gave him, but not even Akeno knew about that one. She was thankful Issei didn't seem like the kind of guy to kiss and tell at least.
If Koneko knew that was because Lilith had told him he'd have a lot more problems in his life if he did kiss and tell, she would have built a shrine to the succubus and declared her the patron Goddess of all things romance.
"Still, are you ready for what happens in a couple of days?" Akeno asked, getting a nod from Koneko. "Sheesh, I wonder why Odin said he wasn't able to help us. It's not like Transylvania is forbidden to the Norse Gods or something."
"Maybe the Greek Gods are the reason?" Koneko pointed out, after all, that area was practically right between the Greek and Norse Gods. "Maybe that area is neutral territory for the Gods?"
"Hmm, that could be." Akeno tapped her chin in thought. "Or maybe it's under the Greek Gods watch? Who knows?" Of course, there was the possibility that the area was off-limits for another reason, but neither of them knew if that was true or not.
(---)
Elsewhere in Valhalla...
"See? That's how you do it!" La Fey Pendragon smiled as Mittelt finally got the spell down.
"Thanks." Mittelt nodded at her. "I hate the fact that I wasn't very good with anything other than throwing spears of energy around."
La Fey waved her off. "It never hurts to learn support magic, even if it's not that splashy compared to other forms." She winked at Mittelt. "You never know when you might need to stop an arm from bleeding everywhere."
Mittelt sweat-dropped at that. "Personal experience?"
La Fey huffed and crossed her arms over her chest as she turned away. "Why I never! It's not like I watched my brother do that to someone by accident or anything." Her indignant look lasted a moment before she started to giggle. "Before you ask, the person who had his arm chopped off was used to it."
Mittelt sweat-dropped more. "Used to having his arm chopped off?! What kind of masochist did you guys find for that?!"
"One that was really helpful for learning healing magic?" La Fey said innocently while smiling harmlessly. "If it makes you feel better, the guy had already lost his limbs during a war in Eastern Europe when we were kids and was using prostetics to help teach us how to use healing magic and how to cut limbs off easily."
"...I swear, everyone who's descended from the Arthurian days are insane." Granted, Mittelt had only met two of them, but she wouldn't be surprised if Lancelot had kids somewhere along the way and they were all crazy.
"Now that's not fair. Just because Sir Lancelot killed a bunch of people looking for a shrubbery for those knights doesn't mean that all of my ancestors were crazy."
Mittelt gaped at the witch, who busted out laughing. "Oh my! You knew what I was talking about there!"
"Who hasn't seen that movie?" The Fallen Angel said, huffing in annoyance. "...Was that movie accurate in the slightest?"
"Parts of it were." La Fey pulled out a worn out journal. "Specifically the bunny of Caerbannog."
"...Rabbits are evil."
"Yes." La Fey nodded in agreement.
(---)
Dodging out of the way of a lunge-tackle, Vali, in his Balance Breaker, floated backwards. He and his opponent were flying above the trees, their feet skimming the surface of the the tops of the branches and leaves. "Seriously, Atsuko, why did you want to spar with me anyway when I'm like this?"
Sliding across the trees, her wings fully extended, the cyborg glared at him, her eyes slitted and her cybernetic cat ears pointed upwards. "Simple, I want to fight someone who can fly and has a cheating Dragon power."
Vali sweat-dropped at hearing that. "Cheating Dragon power? Girl do yourself a favor and look up what some of the other Longinus can do before you declare my power to be a cheating power." Not to mention that there were Devils, Gods and even humans with powers that were simply bonkers in the world.
As Atsuko rushed him again, Vali mentally frowned as he traded blows with her. While they weren't truly fighting, he had to give the girl credit, she was really good, even if she was more straightforward than that Xenovia girl was. Still, one thing that he found disconcerting when sparring with her, that super skimpy outfit of hers made his Sacred Gear's powers useless, how, he wasn't sure, he just knew it was troubling. "So, humor me, but how can you just ignore my Divide ability?" He asked, trying to block a kick from her and finding himself blasted backwards. "And punching through my barriers so easily."
"I think it has something to do with that so-called Balance Break of hers." Albion pointed out. "It feels like it's canceling out all of my powers every time I get near it somehow."
"It's called the NK-SG-D." Atsuko answered, shrugging and causing her breasts to bounce, much to Vali's chagrin. It wasn't like he didn't like women or anything, but he didn't really care about bouncing breasts as much as he liked a jiggly ass. "Mama-san told me that it was based off of something that can cancel Sacred Gear powers."
"Explains why Jeanne was ranting about you so much when I last talked to her." Vali shook his head, he had tuned most of what the reincarnation of the Maiden of Orleans had been ranting on about out, only picking up bits here and there. "Still, that power is quite convinent." And it sounded like something his grandfather would have just to mess with him.
As much as Vali hated his grandfather, he had to admit that Rizevim wasn't a fool, even if he was a psychotic monster that got off on the thought of causing war, destruction, death and broken families. 'Almost like some human politicians, actually.' Vali mentally laughed at his own joke. "Fine, keep coming then."
"Gladly!" Atsuko grinned and seemingly pushed off the tops of the trees to rush at him while the two flew through the air while sparring. "Where's the Monkey King that follows you around?"
"Keeping an eye on some people." Vali answered. "And before you ask, Arthur's dealing with stuff on his end."
"I wasn't going to." She ducked under a punch and tried to kick him, but Vali zipped upwards into the air away from here. "Sheesh! Get back here!"
"Vali, an ability that can cancel Sacred Gear powers is far too dangerous to leave alone."
"Albion, are you seriously suggesting that I try to end her?" Vali asked as he fired some blasts at Atsuko, who covered herself in some sort of flaming aura and blocked them. "Do you really see her as that much of a threat?"
"Yes." The wings on his back flashed. "However, I was not talking about her. I doubt that she would try to kill us unless we became an enemy. If her power is based off of something that can cancel Sacred Gear powers, I would like to find whomever has it, destroy it and kill the person who has it."
"If anything, it sounds like what that bastard grandfather of mine would have." Vali snarled as he traded blows with Atsuko. Though privately he wouldn't be surprised if Azazel had developed something like that as well, just in case. "Tell me something, Atsuko, what will you do when this is over?"
"I'm not sure, I just want to know why Ranma betrayed us. That's all. After that, we'll see."
Vali smirked as he kicked her away. "Well, that's interesting." Not that it was a bad thing, he was pretty much the same way, no real direction and going where the winds took him. So long as he got good fights along the way, he was satisfied.
"So why are you here anyway?" Atsuko asked as she flipped over Vali and punched him in his back, sending him tumbling across the tops of the trees.
Grunting, Vali righted himself and blocked another punch from Atsuko which sent him flying further back. Grinning under his helmet, he pushed forward and drove a knee into her stomach, causing her to gasp as the wind was knocked out of her. "If you want to know, I suppose letting you know this wouldn't hurt. I haven't spoke to Ophis in many months and I'm concerned that something happened."
"Uh..." Atsuko gave him a blank look. "I have no idea who that is."
"A dark haired loli that's actually a Dragon of unimaginable power." Vali supplied for her. "I was working for her when I betrayed Azazel."
"Oh yeah! I remember you talking about that. I never met her though." Atsuko frowned at that. "Wait, you said she's a loli? ...I'm worried that Jedah used that to tempt Ranma to join him."
"...Ranma's a lolicon?" Vali asked, surprised when Atsuko nodded at him.
"Well, that's what everyone tells me, but then I saw his wife and her boobs are bigger than my head, so I have no clue! Plus he said he had sex with Serafall Leviathan and..." Atsuko blinked as Vali face-faulted out of the air. "...What?"
"He had sex with one of the four Devil Kings?!"
"Yes and he said he'd do it again." Atsuko nodded, causing Vali to face-fault again. "So you're worried about Ophis though, huh? Isn't she super powerful though?"
"More powerful than I could ever hope to become in my lifetime, yes, but that doesn't mean she can't be defeated or killed by something that specifically affects Dragons." Plus Vali knew that while he might not get as strong as Ophis, he felt like he could defeat her if he really tried.
And if he died trying, at least he would have died to one of the strongest beings alive.
Not that he would even try since he was actually fond of the little Dragon for some reason. "Anyway, shall we continue?" Vali asked, getting a nod from Atsuko. She wasn't even remotely close to being done yet.
(---)
Elsewhere...
"Well, it's not often someone calls for me." Fafnir said as he raised his head out of the water to look at the young girl in front of him. "Is there something you wish, young one?"
The girl gave him a look full of determination and took a deep breath. "You worked with Azazel, didn't you?" Fafnir nodded to her. "I want you to help me."
"Oh? And why would you want me to help you?"
"A friend of mine is working for a bad guy, I want to help save him. Even if it's just a little bit, I want your power to help protect everyone and save my friend."
"Your friend must mean a lot to you. Tell me, what is your name?"
"I'm Asia Argento." The blonde girl said and bowed to the Dragon King. "And Ranma is a friend of mine, but more than that, he's a dear friend to Issei, Lilith, Mittelt and others. I don't know if he's become a true bad guy or if he's being controlled or what, but I want to help my friends save him, I want to make sure that everyone is safe. And most importantly, I don't want to have anyone worry about me anymore."
"Oh? It takes a lot of bravery to call forth the power of one of the Dragon Kings. By just doing this, I would say that no one should worry about you ever." He smiled at the young girl. "But I suppose I could enter a pact with you. What is it you wish? How long? And what is your desire?"
"I simply wish to help my friends and protect them as long as I live. Please, Dragon King Fafnir, I beg of you, lend me your strength."
Fafnir was silent for some time before a rumbling noise was heard from his throat. As she listened, Asia gulped, worried that she had made him mad.
"HA HA HA HA HA!" Fafnir laughed at her. "You're an interesting one, so heart-felt and pure. Very well, if you wish to enter a pact with me, you must offer me something of what I want."
"...What?" Asia's face was slightly fearful.
Fafnir grinned at her. "Whenever I make a pact with someone, I ask for a precious treasure from them. I don't care for much besides treasure. So, with that in mind..."
"But I don't have anything truly valuable." Asia protested, her eyes tearing up. "Oh no! Why didn't anyone tell me? I would have gotten you something special in that case. Some food maybe? I mean, I can cook, but I don't know if I could get enough food for a Dragon King..."
Fafnir shook his head. "No, little one. For you see, the thing I want from you, if I was to make a pact with you, is simply your panties."
"...My panties?" Asia gaped at him as he nodded.
"Specifically the pair you're wearing right now." Asia gawked at the Dragon King. "Panties are a precious treasure! Give me your panties and I shall enter a pact with you."
"...Okay." Asia hiked her skirt up and slid her fingers under the waistband of her panties and pulled them down. The fact that she wasn't wearing anything under her clothes was kind of a thrill. 'Too bad Issei isn't here...' If he was, she had no idea what she would do. Stepping out of her panties, she held them up to Fafnir. "Like this?"
"YES! Like that! With this, our pact is complete!" Fafnir, defying all logic, was able to grab her panties with his mouth and take them from her. As he pulled his head back, Asia felt a tingling on her right hand. Pulling it close to her face, she looked at the symbol that appeared on her palm. "If you ever need me, use my symbol to summon me. I shall come from anywhere to protect you."
"Thank you." Asia smiled and bowed to the Dragon King.
"Oh, and before I forget, if you summon me, I expect you to have some clothes on that directly touches your body, such as a pair of panties or your swimsuit as payment."
Asia was blushing hard as Fafnir disappeared below the water. "...I have to take my panties off in battle to have him help me?" Sure, Rias had to flash her breasts to power up Issei in battle, but that was Rias and this was her and...
"No! If I keep thinking like this then I'll never be able to get anywhere with Issei!" Asia's face was still flush, but she had a determined look on her face as she stood tall. "No, I will do it, if taking off my panties in combat is the price to pay, then so be it!"
"If I had known you'd be willing to go that far, I would have offered to be your bodyguard." A familiar voice spoke up and Asia's face turned red as she looked down to see Happosai standing between her legs. "I mean, free access to your panties? That Dragon sure is lucky."
"EEEEEK!!! PERVERT!" Asia screamed as she spun and kicked Happosai over the trees and into Vali, who was flying overhead, stunning them both.
Happosai giggled as he tumbled through the air. "At least the carpets match the drapes."
(---)
The next day...
"Oh my! This is so cute!" Rossweisse gushed as she looked at the guinea pig doll. It was the size of a real one as well.
"You know, if it wasn't for the fact that I can see the tag on the side, I would swear that was a real guinea pig." Rias commented as she, Issei and Xenovia wandered through the store. They had found some interesting clothes that Rias had to try on, plus there had been some really interesting things that Rias just HAD to have added to her collection at home.
(---)
In Hell...
Venelana suddenly twitched and sighed. "I'm going to need to hire someone to clean Rias's room out at this rate." She muttered as she looked around the room. "At least I understand why she wanted those lego sets now." She muttered while looking at the completed X-wing and TIE-fighter lego figures that were on top of six large panda bears on her bed surrounded by more than a few dozen sets of clothes. "What will she do when she gets married?"
Turning, she left the room and closed the door behind her. She wouldn't ask her maids to clean up Rias's room, the last time she did she heard screaming for twenty minutes and the maid had rushed out of the room, sobbing for some odd reason. 'Just what is in Rias's closet anyway?'
(---)
Back on Earth...
Xenovia picked up something that looked like floss before her eyes went blank and white and her face turned bright red as she realized that it was some sort of swimsuit. 'My underwear has more fabric than this!' She thought to herself and was about to put it away when she thought about how it would look on herself and how Issei would react to it. '...Well...' Looking left and right, she folded it up and was about to put it in her basket. After all, she wanted to look good for Issei.
"You find something interesting?" Issei asked, causing her to yelp and fumble with the suit before grabbing it and hiding it away in her pants pocket and stiffen up. "What's wrong?"
"N-no-nothing, just surprised is all, I wasn't expecting you there." Xenovia shot back, her voice stuttering as she tried to calm down. Turning to look at him, she blushed and scratched her cheek. "Hey, Issei, I was wondering, is there any kind of swimsuits you prefer?"
"Huh?" Issei blinked in surprise, wondering what brought this on. "...Not really, so long as I can see glorious boobs I don't care too much."
She smiled, expecting that answer. "Okay." She looked behind him and saw Rias looking across the store in confusion. "What's with Rias?"
"Huh?" Issei turned to see Rias frowning in confusion. "I dunno, let's go see." The two walked over to Rias and were about to call out to her when a hint of movement off to the side caught their attention.
There, surrounded by various cute outfits, was Rossweisse and an unknown man with long silver hair, tinted glasses on his face and a silver robe over his body. "Who..?" Before Issei could finish the question, the man raised his glasses up and took them off and he and Rossweisse seemingly disappeared. "What the hell?!"
"That looked like Gasper's Forbidden Balor View." Xenovia commented, wondering how someone had that ability.
Rias didn't say anything, but the angry look on her face spoke wonders. "Issei, Xenovia," she turned to them and they gulped, seeing her eyes glowing with power, "I have an idea of who that is, and we're going to find him and get Rossweisse back."
The two nodded, dropped their baskets and quickly left the building.
(---)
Meanwhile...
"Was there a reason you told Euclid what you did?" The masked Devil Hunter asked Jedah, who was sitting in his chair in Makai and grinning as he watched the events play out. "And how did he just disappear like that?"
"To answer your questions, I did it because it's amusing. The poor boy is such a... What is it called again when someone has an unhealthy obsession with their sibling?"
"Siscon or Brocon?"
"Yes, that." Jedah nodded. "Yes, he's a total siscon that was devastated when his sister, Grayfia Lucifuge, betrayed the Great Devil King Lucifer to marry Sirzechs Lucifer that he would be willing to sell out reality to Rizevim." He sighed, such foolish morons. "However, I can't deny his power is tremendous. After all, he's almost as strong as his sister is and she could have been one of the four Devil Kings if not for Serafall Leviathan being more determined to win the title."
"You're well informed."
Jedah smirked at the masked Hunter. "Well, for one, Grayfia and Sirzech's romance is well-known among Devil Society. It was easy to find out how she betrayed the Old Satan Faction just to be with the man she fell in love with. Her battle against Serafall Leviathan is also rather spectacular and there are many records of it. The rest?" A nasty grin came to his face. "Simple," he leaned back in his chair and chuckled. "When I stole that Sacred Gear from that poor fool; Euclid was the first person I tested it on. I want to see what he will do if he thought that there was a chance he could get someone like his sister to follow him."
The masked hunter tilted her head. "And you chose the Valkyrie turned Devil because..."
"She looks like his sister. It wouldn't surprise me if they were distantly related somehow."
"Hmm... Didn't you tell me that when a Devil gains a peerage that everyone in that peerage is part of their family?" Jedah turned to look at her and nodded. "And isn't Rias Gremory the sister of the current Devil King Lucifer?"
"Indeed, I'm glad you paid attention. What does this have to do with..."
"Since Euclid's sister married Rias Gremory's brother, wouldn't that mean that the Valkyrie turned Devil is now related to him?"
"...You make a fair point!" Jedah laughed at that. "You know what I meant though."
"Yeah. So, when..."
Jedah chuckled. "Tomorrow is when the event happens. Rizevim is very cautious, despite being his attitude of wishing nothing but carnage on everyone. But he won't be able to resist showing up to cause problems."
Jedah's grin grew. He not only knew that Satan's son would do that, but he was banking on it. 'After all, I need to get rid of him, because if he gets his hands on that Longinus, we're all dead.' If what Euclid had told him was true, then he had to not only get that Longinus before Rizevim did, but he had to remove the Super Devil from reality one way or another.
"So how did your errand boy disappear like that?"
Jedah chuckled at her. "I merely had my alchemist create a copy of a budding Longinus and fuse it with his eyes. I believe it was called Forbidden Balor View or something. Anyway, the glasses prevent it from being active constantly, but he can't turn it off naturally, ever. It allows him to stop time for a short while."
"...Terrifying ability."
"I can only imagine what would happen if some of your enemies had sought out Sacred Gear users." Jedah laughed as he felt her revulsion at that. "Anyway, I want to see what Gremory and the Red Dragon Emperor do next." The fact that Euclid couldn't teleport away without alerting all the nearby Norse Gods made things more...
Interesting.
(---)
"So where did Rossweisse go?" Issei asked as he looked around hoping to find at least a trace of the person who took her.
Rias said nothing as she pulled out her cell phone and started messing with it. "Hopefully she didn't go far."
"Rias?" Issei and Xenovia asked as she Rias slowly smiled.
"Excellent, they're still in town, if we hurry we can catch up to them." Rias nodded as she looked at her phone. "Come on!"
"Wait!" Issei yelled as he and Xenovia ran after Rias, though he wasn't complaining about the running, after all, Rias had quite the bounce when she ran. "How do you know that?!"
Rias looked over her shoulder at him. "Huh? Well, remember when I got everyone new cell phones after you got back from Kyoto?" Issei and Xenovia nodded as they ran through the streets quickly. "There are tracking chips in all of them. I did that just in case something like this happened."
"Wait, what?! You mean you could spy on me having a date?"
Rias shook her head. "I would never use it for such a petty reason, I merely wanted to make sure that if we got split up or someone was hurt that I could find you quickly, that's all."
"Rias, when we get back, we're going to have a serious talk about privacy violations." Issei grumbled under his breath. At least there was a good reason for having it, but the fact that he didn't know about it, and he guessed that none of the others did either, bothered him. Heck, she had given one to Irina as well. What bothered him was that if he ever decided to check out the porn store, she could find out where he was simply by looking at her phone and then complain to him later.
'...Now that I think about it, when was the last time I looked at porn anyway?' Considering that he was sexing up both Rias and Xenovia every night, porn really didn't hold the same allure it once did. Not that he'd give it up. Besides, it wasn't like Rias or Xenovia would watch it with him. "By the way, you said you recognized who was talking to Rossweisse..."
"Yeah." Rias nodded as they turned a corner. "I recognized him from a picture that Grayfia showed me a few years ago, but I thought he was dead."
"So who is he?" Xenovia asked as they weaved between traffic, much to the onlooker's surprise.
"Euclid Lucifuge, Grayfia's younger brother and my uncle."
(---)
Meanwhile...
Rossweisse grimaced as she sat on a cheap bed, her arms tied behind her back via magic. "Seriously? I just wanted to go shopping, why the heck did this happen to me?" She frowned at her captor. "Listen, Mr... Lucifuge was it?" The man nodded at her. "I'm flattered that you found me quite lovely, but I'm not interested in people who kidnap me just to..." She trailed off as he shushed her.
"You look so much like my dear sister... Your eyes are different, but your hair, your mannerisms, even your body, so much like hers..." He frowned as he thought about his sister. "She had to betray us, betray the family and become a lowly Gremory servant when she married the man who stole our master's title away."
Rossweisse gulped as she felt his eyes roam her body. "Hey now! I'm sure that she had her reasons, but I'm not her!"
"Perhaps not, but you could perhaps... Replace her with time."
Rossweisse growled as she saw the look in his eyes. The fact that this... Siscon was practically drooling over her was both disturbing and disgusting. "That's it... I've HAD IT!" With a burst of magical power, she broke free of her bindings startling Euclid. Snarling at her kidnapper she belted him in the face, sending him spinning and crashing to the floor. "I'm so sick and tired of being the fucking joke of a Valkyrie. I'm SORRY that I couldn't inherit my family's magic crest!" She kicked him in the ribs, causing him to cough blood and crash into the ceiling. "I can't help that I worked extra hard in school because of it and graduated high school five years early! Oh no, it's fine! I'm the loser Valkyrie who can't get a boyfriend and is still a virgin!" Holding out her hand, a blast of magical power slammed Euclid across the room and into a wall. "Just because I want a boyfriend doesn't mean I want some creep who's all hung up on his sister to come after me!" She glared and blasted him with even more magic. "And then I just get thrown in with a louse of a boss who's a large pervert! Excuse me for being serious! Excuse me for having standards in what I want my men to be like! Excuse me for not spreading my legs for every cute and hot guy that comes along! You know what? I'm done! As soon as we save Ranma, I'm grabbing him, I'm grabbing Issei, and we're going to have a threesome! Yeah! You heard me! I don't care! I won't even let them use protection! I don't care if I end up with both of their kids! Fuck it! Fuck being a virgin! And most importantly! FUCK YOU!"
"AAAAAH!" Euclid screamed as magical energy bombarded him and sent him through the wall and out of the building.
"Ahhh!" Rossweisse panted and smiled in satisfaction. "That felt good."
"...You really meant it about the threesome?" Issei asked, causing Rossweisse to turn red as she saw him, Rias and Xenovia, who had just come in and were all staring at her with wide eyes.
"...Yes."
"...Everyone, we have to rescue Ranma, I want to pop Rossweisse's cherry before he does!" Hey, if she wanted to have a threesome, even if it was with another guy, he wouldn't complain, Rossweisse was hot!
The poor Valkyrie's face turned even redder and steam came out of her ears. "That is... Um..."
"Hey!" Xenovia ran to the hole in the wall and looked outside. "Where did that guy go?"
The other three looked out the hole and saw the crater that Euclid made, but they didn't see a body.
(---)
"My my..." Jedah laughed as he threw Euclid onto a bed and pulled out a bottle of Phoenix Tears before splashing his subordinate with it. "I hope you learned your lesson." Having to cast a recall spell on the fool was annoying, but worth it for how entertaining he had been at the end. 'Besides, wanting a threesome as her first time? My my, what a desperate woman.'
"Yes." He nodded, groaning in pain. Sure, the damage was gone, but the pain still remained.
"Seriously?" A male voice said and Euclid looked up as Ranma glared at him. "You called everyone together to see this sad sack?"
"Of course not." Jedah grinned and walked over to his chair before sitting down. "It's time to make our move. Tomorrow night, the full moon happens and it's time to collect my prize." Besides, messing with Demitri would be so much fun.
"Tsk," Bulleta scoffed as she looked at him. "And what? We're going to just show up as a large army or something?"
"Of course not." Jedah grinned as he pushed a button on his chair and everyone who was standing up suddenly jerked from side to side as they felt his castle move. "Behold! This is what I've been working on for years! A transformable! Mobile! Fortress Castle of Death!"
"You totally ripped off Go Nagai, didn't you?" Ranma replied as he watched the main viewing monitor show the castle shift and change, going from being stuck on the ground to a flying fortress.
"Humans do have some interesting ideas after all." Jedah laughed as he forced a portal open. "Let us go! To the land of the Vampires!" Of course, moving something this large would take some time, even for him.
(---)
In her room, Nabiki smirked as she felt the fortress move. "Well, I was wondering how this was going to play out. Thanks, Jedah, now I know what's going to happen."
Oh this was going to be so much fun. "I wonder how everyone's going to take it when they find out the truth."
End Chapter 10
***************************
Seriously, WTF were they thinking with Euclid anyway? In canon, he kidnaps Rossweisse when she's on a date with Issei, has a replica of Boosted Gear (including its Balance Break form) and challenges Issei because he wants to impress his sister, which is why he kidnapped Rossweisse in the first place.
Yeah, not impressed with him.
Wait! Got it! Monty Python references are a go!
**********************
Chapter 10
Two weeks later...
Happosai shook his head and sighed. "You three still haven't succeeded once, despite the near month I've been helping you?"
"Urgh, give us a break." Issei groaned. "Every time we think we got it something happens and it fails."
"Yes, well at least your clothes aren't exploding anymore." Ddrag pointed out helpfully. "If it helps, partner, neither I nor have any of my previous hosts did anything like this before."
"Why is this so hard?" Rias asked as she looked at Happosai. "Learning magic growing up was a lot easier than this. I've gone through some of Sairaorg's training when I was little, how come I can't do this?"
Happosai sighed and shook his head. "Truth is, I'm not sure. You're manipulating your auras in a way you've never done it before. I should mention that even among those who have mastered the skill of manipulating their aura, it still takes years to fully master."
"We can use magic." Xenovia retorted. "Why is this different?"
Happosai sighed heavily. "Well, that explains it I think. Even though I've gone over this, you're thinking this works like magic, though in your case," he pointed at Xenovia, "you're probably trying to brute force your way through everything, huh?"
Xenovia pouted, she got that a lot since she got here, as though she was just a muscle head who was only good for swinging Ex-Durandal around and not much else. 'Sad thing is, they're probably right.'
Issei growled and punched the ground. "I don't get it! Why can't I do it?!"
"Frustration doesn't help." Happosai shook his head. "Anyway, I think that's enough for today." He turned and walked off. Pausing to look back, he sighed heavily. It really wasn't their fault, they weren't used to doing stuff like this. After all, not everyone could be a prodigy when it came to combat.
After Happosai was gone, Issei sighed. "I don't get it."
"Don't worry, partner, even if I could do it, I've never done it, so don't try to force something that you can't do yet." Ddrag offered helpfully.
"I guess we're just not suited to do this, that's all." Rias commented. "At least we're not having our clothes explode every time we try anymore."
"Small miracles there." Both Xenovia and Issei commented, though neither had a problem with being naked when they were alone, it was the exploding clothes in public that bothered them.
Issei wondered if maybe his Dress Break skill was at fault for all those misfires. He shook his off and stood up. "Well, it kind of feels like we wasted a month."
"Not really." Rias smiled as she stood up and helped Xenovia up. "I feel a lot closer to the two of you because of it." She wouldn't admit it, but even though they would be heading to fight soon, as Odin had informed them that on the full moon, which was in two days, there was going to be a big event in Transylvania with the Vampires there. When asked about it, he just laughed and told them that his information network in Europe was almost unmatched.
"Too bad the old man won't help us out." Issei shook his head and sighed, wondering why Odin wasn't going to help them out but dismissed it. He didn't know where he heard it from, but it was never a good idea to rely on the Gods to help you with your problems, and Issei figured it was probably doubly true since he was a Devil.
"Yeah, but Vali said he would, since he's got questions for Jedah anyway."
"I think Vali wants to get away from Odin's teasing about being the Butt Dragon Emperor." Rias giggled in amusement as Xenovia and Issei both nodded and laughed. "Anyway, shall we get going?"
"Issei! Rias! Xenovia!" The three blinked and turned to see Rossweisse running up to them, well, bouncing up to them with how much her chest was bouncing all over the place. She wasn't even wearing anything super sexy, just a red track suit, but the bouncing...
"Issei, stop drooling." Rias ordered him. "Xenovia, stop drooling as well."
"I wasn't drooling." Xenovia protested, her face slightly flush. "Considering that you sleep in the nude and you two got me to do it as well, I've come to appreciate a nice pair of breasts, you know?"
"Everyone loves boobs." Issei giggled perversely. "Hey, Rossweisse, what's up?"
Rossweisse's face was a bit flush and she scratched her cheek before taking a deep breath and bowing. "There was a sale going on in town and there was all these cute things that I heard about and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go with me to go shopping?"
"Isn't it kind of late?" Issei asked in confusion.
"I was thinking tomorrow, sorry." Rossweisse poked her fingers together. "I mean, only if you're not busy and if you want to, but it's fine if you don't want to and I'll just have to make sure to take care of myself and..."
"Nah, it's fine." Issei waved her off. "Um, I mean, sure, it's just for a few hours, right?"
"Well, I don't intend to take that long." Rossweisse laughed and rubbed the back of her head at the flat stares that she was getting. "Um, sorry?"
"Shopping always takes hours, even if it's just to get some food." Rias crossed her arms under her breasts and held a finger up. "In fact, when I was little and went shopping with Grayfia, she always had a plan written out and we had to stick to it constantly because there were so many good things to buy and whenever I was left alone I ended up with a cart full of dolls, toys and other things to fill my room."
Issei, Xenovia and Rossweisse all sweat-dropped as none of them had the same experience growing up in affluence like Rias did.
"So do you want to go with Issei alone or do you want us to come with?" Xenovia asked and Rossweisse rubbed the back of her head and laughed softly.
"Well, I figure if there was lots of stuff that I would need extra help, so if you want to..."
"Sure." Rias smiled at her.
"Thanks." Rossweisse smiled back.
(---)
"You're still on cloud nine?" Akeno asked Koneko, who nodded, a small smile on her face as they cleaned up after training. "Must have been some date then." She giggled, remembering her own date. Nothing naughty had happened, but the fact that Issei had taken her to so many places and tried so many things out, including trying to get into a porn store, only to be thrown out by a big guy named Bubba. At least he apologized to them before tossing them out on their butts first.
Koneko nodded, a blush on her face as she remembered the date. "Uh huh... Issei-sempai was really nice." Other than hand holding, which someone had said was too lewd for their child's eyes, nothing much had happened, they had caught a movie, ate some food...
Well, there was the kiss that she gave him, but not even Akeno knew about that one. She was thankful Issei didn't seem like the kind of guy to kiss and tell at least.
If Koneko knew that was because Lilith had told him he'd have a lot more problems in his life if he did kiss and tell, she would have built a shrine to the succubus and declared her the patron Goddess of all things romance.
"Still, are you ready for what happens in a couple of days?" Akeno asked, getting a nod from Koneko. "Sheesh, I wonder why Odin said he wasn't able to help us. It's not like Transylvania is forbidden to the Norse Gods or something."
"Maybe the Greek Gods are the reason?" Koneko pointed out, after all, that area was practically right between the Greek and Norse Gods. "Maybe that area is neutral territory for the Gods?"
"Hmm, that could be." Akeno tapped her chin in thought. "Or maybe it's under the Greek Gods watch? Who knows?" Of course, there was the possibility that the area was off-limits for another reason, but neither of them knew if that was true or not.
(---)
Elsewhere in Valhalla...
"See? That's how you do it!" La Fey Pendragon smiled as Mittelt finally got the spell down.
"Thanks." Mittelt nodded at her. "I hate the fact that I wasn't very good with anything other than throwing spears of energy around."
La Fey waved her off. "It never hurts to learn support magic, even if it's not that splashy compared to other forms." She winked at Mittelt. "You never know when you might need to stop an arm from bleeding everywhere."
Mittelt sweat-dropped at that. "Personal experience?"
La Fey huffed and crossed her arms over her chest as she turned away. "Why I never! It's not like I watched my brother do that to someone by accident or anything." Her indignant look lasted a moment before she started to giggle. "Before you ask, the person who had his arm chopped off was used to it."
Mittelt sweat-dropped more. "Used to having his arm chopped off?! What kind of masochist did you guys find for that?!"
"One that was really helpful for learning healing magic?" La Fey said innocently while smiling harmlessly. "If it makes you feel better, the guy had already lost his limbs during a war in Eastern Europe when we were kids and was using prostetics to help teach us how to use healing magic and how to cut limbs off easily."
"...I swear, everyone who's descended from the Arthurian days are insane." Granted, Mittelt had only met two of them, but she wouldn't be surprised if Lancelot had kids somewhere along the way and they were all crazy.
"Now that's not fair. Just because Sir Lancelot killed a bunch of people looking for a shrubbery for those knights doesn't mean that all of my ancestors were crazy."
Mittelt gaped at the witch, who busted out laughing. "Oh my! You knew what I was talking about there!"
"Who hasn't seen that movie?" The Fallen Angel said, huffing in annoyance. "...Was that movie accurate in the slightest?"
"Parts of it were." La Fey pulled out a worn out journal. "Specifically the bunny of Caerbannog."
"...Rabbits are evil."
"Yes." La Fey nodded in agreement.
(---)
Dodging out of the way of a lunge-tackle, Vali, in his Balance Breaker, floated backwards. He and his opponent were flying above the trees, their feet skimming the surface of the the tops of the branches and leaves. "Seriously, Atsuko, why did you want to spar with me anyway when I'm like this?"
Sliding across the trees, her wings fully extended, the cyborg glared at him, her eyes slitted and her cybernetic cat ears pointed upwards. "Simple, I want to fight someone who can fly and has a cheating Dragon power."
Vali sweat-dropped at hearing that. "Cheating Dragon power? Girl do yourself a favor and look up what some of the other Longinus can do before you declare my power to be a cheating power." Not to mention that there were Devils, Gods and even humans with powers that were simply bonkers in the world.
As Atsuko rushed him again, Vali mentally frowned as he traded blows with her. While they weren't truly fighting, he had to give the girl credit, she was really good, even if she was more straightforward than that Xenovia girl was. Still, one thing that he found disconcerting when sparring with her, that super skimpy outfit of hers made his Sacred Gear's powers useless, how, he wasn't sure, he just knew it was troubling. "So, humor me, but how can you just ignore my Divide ability?" He asked, trying to block a kick from her and finding himself blasted backwards. "And punching through my barriers so easily."
"I think it has something to do with that so-called Balance Break of hers." Albion pointed out. "It feels like it's canceling out all of my powers every time I get near it somehow."
"It's called the NK-SG-D." Atsuko answered, shrugging and causing her breasts to bounce, much to Vali's chagrin. It wasn't like he didn't like women or anything, but he didn't really care about bouncing breasts as much as he liked a jiggly ass. "Mama-san told me that it was based off of something that can cancel Sacred Gear powers."
"Explains why Jeanne was ranting about you so much when I last talked to her." Vali shook his head, he had tuned most of what the reincarnation of the Maiden of Orleans had been ranting on about out, only picking up bits here and there. "Still, that power is quite convinent." And it sounded like something his grandfather would have just to mess with him.
As much as Vali hated his grandfather, he had to admit that Rizevim wasn't a fool, even if he was a psychotic monster that got off on the thought of causing war, destruction, death and broken families. 'Almost like some human politicians, actually.' Vali mentally laughed at his own joke. "Fine, keep coming then."
"Gladly!" Atsuko grinned and seemingly pushed off the tops of the trees to rush at him while the two flew through the air while sparring. "Where's the Monkey King that follows you around?"
"Keeping an eye on some people." Vali answered. "And before you ask, Arthur's dealing with stuff on his end."
"I wasn't going to." She ducked under a punch and tried to kick him, but Vali zipped upwards into the air away from here. "Sheesh! Get back here!"
"Vali, an ability that can cancel Sacred Gear powers is far too dangerous to leave alone."
"Albion, are you seriously suggesting that I try to end her?" Vali asked as he fired some blasts at Atsuko, who covered herself in some sort of flaming aura and blocked them. "Do you really see her as that much of a threat?"
"Yes." The wings on his back flashed. "However, I was not talking about her. I doubt that she would try to kill us unless we became an enemy. If her power is based off of something that can cancel Sacred Gear powers, I would like to find whomever has it, destroy it and kill the person who has it."
"If anything, it sounds like what that bastard grandfather of mine would have." Vali snarled as he traded blows with Atsuko. Though privately he wouldn't be surprised if Azazel had developed something like that as well, just in case. "Tell me something, Atsuko, what will you do when this is over?"
"I'm not sure, I just want to know why Ranma betrayed us. That's all. After that, we'll see."
Vali smirked as he kicked her away. "Well, that's interesting." Not that it was a bad thing, he was pretty much the same way, no real direction and going where the winds took him. So long as he got good fights along the way, he was satisfied.
"So why are you here anyway?" Atsuko asked as she flipped over Vali and punched him in his back, sending him tumbling across the tops of the trees.
Grunting, Vali righted himself and blocked another punch from Atsuko which sent him flying further back. Grinning under his helmet, he pushed forward and drove a knee into her stomach, causing her to gasp as the wind was knocked out of her. "If you want to know, I suppose letting you know this wouldn't hurt. I haven't spoke to Ophis in many months and I'm concerned that something happened."
"Uh..." Atsuko gave him a blank look. "I have no idea who that is."
"A dark haired loli that's actually a Dragon of unimaginable power." Vali supplied for her. "I was working for her when I betrayed Azazel."
"Oh yeah! I remember you talking about that. I never met her though." Atsuko frowned at that. "Wait, you said she's a loli? ...I'm worried that Jedah used that to tempt Ranma to join him."
"...Ranma's a lolicon?" Vali asked, surprised when Atsuko nodded at him.
"Well, that's what everyone tells me, but then I saw his wife and her boobs are bigger than my head, so I have no clue! Plus he said he had sex with Serafall Leviathan and..." Atsuko blinked as Vali face-faulted out of the air. "...What?"
"He had sex with one of the four Devil Kings?!"
"Yes and he said he'd do it again." Atsuko nodded, causing Vali to face-fault again. "So you're worried about Ophis though, huh? Isn't she super powerful though?"
"More powerful than I could ever hope to become in my lifetime, yes, but that doesn't mean she can't be defeated or killed by something that specifically affects Dragons." Plus Vali knew that while he might not get as strong as Ophis, he felt like he could defeat her if he really tried.
And if he died trying, at least he would have died to one of the strongest beings alive.
Not that he would even try since he was actually fond of the little Dragon for some reason. "Anyway, shall we continue?" Vali asked, getting a nod from Atsuko. She wasn't even remotely close to being done yet.
(---)
Elsewhere...
"Well, it's not often someone calls for me." Fafnir said as he raised his head out of the water to look at the young girl in front of him. "Is there something you wish, young one?"
The girl gave him a look full of determination and took a deep breath. "You worked with Azazel, didn't you?" Fafnir nodded to her. "I want you to help me."
"Oh? And why would you want me to help you?"
"A friend of mine is working for a bad guy, I want to help save him. Even if it's just a little bit, I want your power to help protect everyone and save my friend."
"Your friend must mean a lot to you. Tell me, what is your name?"
"I'm Asia Argento." The blonde girl said and bowed to the Dragon King. "And Ranma is a friend of mine, but more than that, he's a dear friend to Issei, Lilith, Mittelt and others. I don't know if he's become a true bad guy or if he's being controlled or what, but I want to help my friends save him, I want to make sure that everyone is safe. And most importantly, I don't want to have anyone worry about me anymore."
"Oh? It takes a lot of bravery to call forth the power of one of the Dragon Kings. By just doing this, I would say that no one should worry about you ever." He smiled at the young girl. "But I suppose I could enter a pact with you. What is it you wish? How long? And what is your desire?"
"I simply wish to help my friends and protect them as long as I live. Please, Dragon King Fafnir, I beg of you, lend me your strength."
Fafnir was silent for some time before a rumbling noise was heard from his throat. As she listened, Asia gulped, worried that she had made him mad.
"HA HA HA HA HA!" Fafnir laughed at her. "You're an interesting one, so heart-felt and pure. Very well, if you wish to enter a pact with me, you must offer me something of what I want."
"...What?" Asia's face was slightly fearful.
Fafnir grinned at her. "Whenever I make a pact with someone, I ask for a precious treasure from them. I don't care for much besides treasure. So, with that in mind..."
"But I don't have anything truly valuable." Asia protested, her eyes tearing up. "Oh no! Why didn't anyone tell me? I would have gotten you something special in that case. Some food maybe? I mean, I can cook, but I don't know if I could get enough food for a Dragon King..."
Fafnir shook his head. "No, little one. For you see, the thing I want from you, if I was to make a pact with you, is simply your panties."
"...My panties?" Asia gaped at him as he nodded.
"Specifically the pair you're wearing right now." Asia gawked at the Dragon King. "Panties are a precious treasure! Give me your panties and I shall enter a pact with you."
"...Okay." Asia hiked her skirt up and slid her fingers under the waistband of her panties and pulled them down. The fact that she wasn't wearing anything under her clothes was kind of a thrill. 'Too bad Issei isn't here...' If he was, she had no idea what she would do. Stepping out of her panties, she held them up to Fafnir. "Like this?"
"YES! Like that! With this, our pact is complete!" Fafnir, defying all logic, was able to grab her panties with his mouth and take them from her. As he pulled his head back, Asia felt a tingling on her right hand. Pulling it close to her face, she looked at the symbol that appeared on her palm. "If you ever need me, use my symbol to summon me. I shall come from anywhere to protect you."
"Thank you." Asia smiled and bowed to the Dragon King.
"Oh, and before I forget, if you summon me, I expect you to have some clothes on that directly touches your body, such as a pair of panties or your swimsuit as payment."
Asia was blushing hard as Fafnir disappeared below the water. "...I have to take my panties off in battle to have him help me?" Sure, Rias had to flash her breasts to power up Issei in battle, but that was Rias and this was her and...
"No! If I keep thinking like this then I'll never be able to get anywhere with Issei!" Asia's face was still flush, but she had a determined look on her face as she stood tall. "No, I will do it, if taking off my panties in combat is the price to pay, then so be it!"
"If I had known you'd be willing to go that far, I would have offered to be your bodyguard." A familiar voice spoke up and Asia's face turned red as she looked down to see Happosai standing between her legs. "I mean, free access to your panties? That Dragon sure is lucky."
"EEEEEK!!! PERVERT!" Asia screamed as she spun and kicked Happosai over the trees and into Vali, who was flying overhead, stunning them both.
Happosai giggled as he tumbled through the air. "At least the carpets match the drapes."
(---)
The next day...
"Oh my! This is so cute!" Rossweisse gushed as she looked at the guinea pig doll. It was the size of a real one as well.
"You know, if it wasn't for the fact that I can see the tag on the side, I would swear that was a real guinea pig." Rias commented as she, Issei and Xenovia wandered through the store. They had found some interesting clothes that Rias had to try on, plus there had been some really interesting things that Rias just HAD to have added to her collection at home.
(---)
In Hell...
Venelana suddenly twitched and sighed. "I'm going to need to hire someone to clean Rias's room out at this rate." She muttered as she looked around the room. "At least I understand why she wanted those lego sets now." She muttered while looking at the completed X-wing and TIE-fighter lego figures that were on top of six large panda bears on her bed surrounded by more than a few dozen sets of clothes. "What will she do when she gets married?"
Turning, she left the room and closed the door behind her. She wouldn't ask her maids to clean up Rias's room, the last time she did she heard screaming for twenty minutes and the maid had rushed out of the room, sobbing for some odd reason. 'Just what is in Rias's closet anyway?'
(---)
Back on Earth...
Xenovia picked up something that looked like floss before her eyes went blank and white and her face turned bright red as she realized that it was some sort of swimsuit. 'My underwear has more fabric than this!' She thought to herself and was about to put it away when she thought about how it would look on herself and how Issei would react to it. '...Well...' Looking left and right, she folded it up and was about to put it in her basket. After all, she wanted to look good for Issei.
"You find something interesting?" Issei asked, causing her to yelp and fumble with the suit before grabbing it and hiding it away in her pants pocket and stiffen up. "What's wrong?"
"N-no-nothing, just surprised is all, I wasn't expecting you there." Xenovia shot back, her voice stuttering as she tried to calm down. Turning to look at him, she blushed and scratched her cheek. "Hey, Issei, I was wondering, is there any kind of swimsuits you prefer?"
"Huh?" Issei blinked in surprise, wondering what brought this on. "...Not really, so long as I can see glorious boobs I don't care too much."
She smiled, expecting that answer. "Okay." She looked behind him and saw Rias looking across the store in confusion. "What's with Rias?"
"Huh?" Issei turned to see Rias frowning in confusion. "I dunno, let's go see." The two walked over to Rias and were about to call out to her when a hint of movement off to the side caught their attention.
There, surrounded by various cute outfits, was Rossweisse and an unknown man with long silver hair, tinted glasses on his face and a silver robe over his body. "Who..?" Before Issei could finish the question, the man raised his glasses up and took them off and he and Rossweisse seemingly disappeared. "What the hell?!"
"That looked like Gasper's Forbidden Balor View." Xenovia commented, wondering how someone had that ability.
Rias didn't say anything, but the angry look on her face spoke wonders. "Issei, Xenovia," she turned to them and they gulped, seeing her eyes glowing with power, "I have an idea of who that is, and we're going to find him and get Rossweisse back."
The two nodded, dropped their baskets and quickly left the building.
(---)
Meanwhile...
"Was there a reason you told Euclid what you did?" The masked Devil Hunter asked Jedah, who was sitting in his chair in Makai and grinning as he watched the events play out. "And how did he just disappear like that?"
"To answer your questions, I did it because it's amusing. The poor boy is such a... What is it called again when someone has an unhealthy obsession with their sibling?"
"Siscon or Brocon?"
"Yes, that." Jedah nodded. "Yes, he's a total siscon that was devastated when his sister, Grayfia Lucifuge, betrayed the Great Devil King Lucifer to marry Sirzechs Lucifer that he would be willing to sell out reality to Rizevim." He sighed, such foolish morons. "However, I can't deny his power is tremendous. After all, he's almost as strong as his sister is and she could have been one of the four Devil Kings if not for Serafall Leviathan being more determined to win the title."
"You're well informed."
Jedah smirked at the masked Hunter. "Well, for one, Grayfia and Sirzech's romance is well-known among Devil Society. It was easy to find out how she betrayed the Old Satan Faction just to be with the man she fell in love with. Her battle against Serafall Leviathan is also rather spectacular and there are many records of it. The rest?" A nasty grin came to his face. "Simple," he leaned back in his chair and chuckled. "When I stole that Sacred Gear from that poor fool; Euclid was the first person I tested it on. I want to see what he will do if he thought that there was a chance he could get someone like his sister to follow him."
The masked hunter tilted her head. "And you chose the Valkyrie turned Devil because..."
"She looks like his sister. It wouldn't surprise me if they were distantly related somehow."
"Hmm... Didn't you tell me that when a Devil gains a peerage that everyone in that peerage is part of their family?" Jedah turned to look at her and nodded. "And isn't Rias Gremory the sister of the current Devil King Lucifer?"
"Indeed, I'm glad you paid attention. What does this have to do with..."
"Since Euclid's sister married Rias Gremory's brother, wouldn't that mean that the Valkyrie turned Devil is now related to him?"
"...You make a fair point!" Jedah laughed at that. "You know what I meant though."
"Yeah. So, when..."
Jedah chuckled. "Tomorrow is when the event happens. Rizevim is very cautious, despite being his attitude of wishing nothing but carnage on everyone. But he won't be able to resist showing up to cause problems."
Jedah's grin grew. He not only knew that Satan's son would do that, but he was banking on it. 'After all, I need to get rid of him, because if he gets his hands on that Longinus, we're all dead.' If what Euclid had told him was true, then he had to not only get that Longinus before Rizevim did, but he had to remove the Super Devil from reality one way or another.
"So how did your errand boy disappear like that?"
Jedah chuckled at her. "I merely had my alchemist create a copy of a budding Longinus and fuse it with his eyes. I believe it was called Forbidden Balor View or something. Anyway, the glasses prevent it from being active constantly, but he can't turn it off naturally, ever. It allows him to stop time for a short while."
"...Terrifying ability."
"I can only imagine what would happen if some of your enemies had sought out Sacred Gear users." Jedah laughed as he felt her revulsion at that. "Anyway, I want to see what Gremory and the Red Dragon Emperor do next." The fact that Euclid couldn't teleport away without alerting all the nearby Norse Gods made things more...
Interesting.
(---)
"So where did Rossweisse go?" Issei asked as he looked around hoping to find at least a trace of the person who took her.
Rias said nothing as she pulled out her cell phone and started messing with it. "Hopefully she didn't go far."
"Rias?" Issei and Xenovia asked as she Rias slowly smiled.
"Excellent, they're still in town, if we hurry we can catch up to them." Rias nodded as she looked at her phone. "Come on!"
"Wait!" Issei yelled as he and Xenovia ran after Rias, though he wasn't complaining about the running, after all, Rias had quite the bounce when she ran. "How do you know that?!"
Rias looked over her shoulder at him. "Huh? Well, remember when I got everyone new cell phones after you got back from Kyoto?" Issei and Xenovia nodded as they ran through the streets quickly. "There are tracking chips in all of them. I did that just in case something like this happened."
"Wait, what?! You mean you could spy on me having a date?"
Rias shook her head. "I would never use it for such a petty reason, I merely wanted to make sure that if we got split up or someone was hurt that I could find you quickly, that's all."
"Rias, when we get back, we're going to have a serious talk about privacy violations." Issei grumbled under his breath. At least there was a good reason for having it, but the fact that he didn't know about it, and he guessed that none of the others did either, bothered him. Heck, she had given one to Irina as well. What bothered him was that if he ever decided to check out the porn store, she could find out where he was simply by looking at her phone and then complain to him later.
'...Now that I think about it, when was the last time I looked at porn anyway?' Considering that he was sexing up both Rias and Xenovia every night, porn really didn't hold the same allure it once did. Not that he'd give it up. Besides, it wasn't like Rias or Xenovia would watch it with him. "By the way, you said you recognized who was talking to Rossweisse..."
"Yeah." Rias nodded as they turned a corner. "I recognized him from a picture that Grayfia showed me a few years ago, but I thought he was dead."
"So who is he?" Xenovia asked as they weaved between traffic, much to the onlooker's surprise.
"Euclid Lucifuge, Grayfia's younger brother and my uncle."
(---)
Meanwhile...
Rossweisse grimaced as she sat on a cheap bed, her arms tied behind her back via magic. "Seriously? I just wanted to go shopping, why the heck did this happen to me?" She frowned at her captor. "Listen, Mr... Lucifuge was it?" The man nodded at her. "I'm flattered that you found me quite lovely, but I'm not interested in people who kidnap me just to..." She trailed off as he shushed her.
"You look so much like my dear sister... Your eyes are different, but your hair, your mannerisms, even your body, so much like hers..." He frowned as he thought about his sister. "She had to betray us, betray the family and become a lowly Gremory servant when she married the man who stole our master's title away."
Rossweisse gulped as she felt his eyes roam her body. "Hey now! I'm sure that she had her reasons, but I'm not her!"
"Perhaps not, but you could perhaps... Replace her with time."
Rossweisse growled as she saw the look in his eyes. The fact that this... Siscon was practically drooling over her was both disturbing and disgusting. "That's it... I've HAD IT!" With a burst of magical power, she broke free of her bindings startling Euclid. Snarling at her kidnapper she belted him in the face, sending him spinning and crashing to the floor. "I'm so sick and tired of being the fucking joke of a Valkyrie. I'm SORRY that I couldn't inherit my family's magic crest!" She kicked him in the ribs, causing him to cough blood and crash into the ceiling. "I can't help that I worked extra hard in school because of it and graduated high school five years early! Oh no, it's fine! I'm the loser Valkyrie who can't get a boyfriend and is still a virgin!" Holding out her hand, a blast of magical power slammed Euclid across the room and into a wall. "Just because I want a boyfriend doesn't mean I want some creep who's all hung up on his sister to come after me!" She glared and blasted him with even more magic. "And then I just get thrown in with a louse of a boss who's a large pervert! Excuse me for being serious! Excuse me for having standards in what I want my men to be like! Excuse me for not spreading my legs for every cute and hot guy that comes along! You know what? I'm done! As soon as we save Ranma, I'm grabbing him, I'm grabbing Issei, and we're going to have a threesome! Yeah! You heard me! I don't care! I won't even let them use protection! I don't care if I end up with both of their kids! Fuck it! Fuck being a virgin! And most importantly! FUCK YOU!"
"AAAAAH!" Euclid screamed as magical energy bombarded him and sent him through the wall and out of the building.
"Ahhh!" Rossweisse panted and smiled in satisfaction. "That felt good."
"...You really meant it about the threesome?" Issei asked, causing Rossweisse to turn red as she saw him, Rias and Xenovia, who had just come in and were all staring at her with wide eyes.
"...Yes."
"...Everyone, we have to rescue Ranma, I want to pop Rossweisse's cherry before he does!" Hey, if she wanted to have a threesome, even if it was with another guy, he wouldn't complain, Rossweisse was hot!
The poor Valkyrie's face turned even redder and steam came out of her ears. "That is... Um..."
"Hey!" Xenovia ran to the hole in the wall and looked outside. "Where did that guy go?"
The other three looked out the hole and saw the crater that Euclid made, but they didn't see a body.
(---)
"My my..." Jedah laughed as he threw Euclid onto a bed and pulled out a bottle of Phoenix Tears before splashing his subordinate with it. "I hope you learned your lesson." Having to cast a recall spell on the fool was annoying, but worth it for how entertaining he had been at the end. 'Besides, wanting a threesome as her first time? My my, what a desperate woman.'
"Yes." He nodded, groaning in pain. Sure, the damage was gone, but the pain still remained.
"Seriously?" A male voice said and Euclid looked up as Ranma glared at him. "You called everyone together to see this sad sack?"
"Of course not." Jedah grinned and walked over to his chair before sitting down. "It's time to make our move. Tomorrow night, the full moon happens and it's time to collect my prize." Besides, messing with Demitri would be so much fun.
"Tsk," Bulleta scoffed as she looked at him. "And what? We're going to just show up as a large army or something?"
"Of course not." Jedah grinned as he pushed a button on his chair and everyone who was standing up suddenly jerked from side to side as they felt his castle move. "Behold! This is what I've been working on for years! A transformable! Mobile! Fortress Castle of Death!"
"You totally ripped off Go Nagai, didn't you?" Ranma replied as he watched the main viewing monitor show the castle shift and change, going from being stuck on the ground to a flying fortress.
"Humans do have some interesting ideas after all." Jedah laughed as he forced a portal open. "Let us go! To the land of the Vampires!" Of course, moving something this large would take some time, even for him.
(---)
In her room, Nabiki smirked as she felt the fortress move. "Well, I was wondering how this was going to play out. Thanks, Jedah, now I know what's going to happen."
Oh this was going to be so much fun. "I wonder how everyone's going to take it when they find out the truth."
End Chapter 10
***************************
Seriously, WTF were they thinking with Euclid anyway? In canon, he kidnaps Rossweisse when she's on a date with Issei, has a replica of Boosted Gear (including its Balance Break form) and challenges Issei because he wants to impress his sister, which is why he kidnapped Rossweisse in the first place.
Yeah, not impressed with him.
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