Shinji had a plan, a very sneaky plan, but he needed help. He knew who he would have to deal with to get the help he needed. He also knew the one to aid him might make an appearance at Future's Past sooner or later.
"Washu-chan."
Said goddess looked up with a raised eyebrow from her place on a floating holographic seat. She was casually reading something on her terminal while enjoying a coffee break. Naturally the other Anchors who were present edged away a bit, far enough to be out of reach, but not to far to watch Shinji poke the sleeping dragon. "Yes Shinji, what can I do for you."
Shinji grinned, this was it, "Well I can see you are busy, but there is an experiment that I wish to test. But if you are too busy I can try later."
"Now hold on Shinji, and drop the act, you aren't fooling anyone but Uzumaki."
"Hey!"
Washu sighed, "What is this experiment?"
"I think I found a way to terminate my loop without physically damaging anything, or hurting myself."
"I know what you are getting at. Naruto and his team proved it long ago with his loop and didn't need help. So why should I help you?"
Shinji told her the plan.
Washu laughed hard, "Now I know you don't really need me for something like this," she snickered again, "But what is different about this time?"
"Well..."
After explaining Washu grinned, it sounded like a good break and Skuld needed a break too, this would be too much fun.
---
Shinji woke up in his next loop, he was 8, not 14 and he now had a full six years before his father summoned him. He grinned, perfect.
With a spring in his step he got dressed and stepped out of his room, only to run into what was suppose to be his aunt and uncle. The only problem was they were not supose to be Nodoka and Genma Saotome.
"Shinji-chan," Nodoka addressed him, "A letter arrived from someone named Washu for you."
Shinji swallowed hard, this was not in his script. He read the letter in his room and his stomache dropped.
Dear Shinji-chan,
I do hope you are well, but given your care takers I am sure you are wondering what happened to the plan? Well your make Gendo go insane plan seems fun and all, but running just one experiment can bo so boring if you have to wait years for the result. So I modified the Plan.
Right now you will find that you are part of a government test to see if certain subjects can handle an accelerated education, Ranma sends his regards by the way, and so does Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura.
There was a little drawing of a laughing chibi-Washu
Welcome to my experiment, someone will go insane, but who will snap first. Sakura is exempt of course, then again she is one of my tests. After all her favorite pastime is void for some time now. I do suggest you graduate at a university level before you are twelve, Asaka did it without looping so surely you can pass.
When you flip this letter over you will see an acceptance letter to the program. Of course nobody but you can read this side. Should you refuse you get six full years of having Ranma's parrents as your own. Take your pick.
Best Regards and full of ideas, Washu-chan
"I think I just made a big mistake"
---
Shinji and Ranma stood on a podium two years later, "I think this is a record you two, I mean I really tried to hold you back, I gave you tests that many of the best minds that Jurai has to offer would be stopped by, and you still managed to pass University of Washu level. Any words to your remain classmates?"
"I will run away."
"Saotome final technique."
"Well said now how about an applause for our graduates?"
A golf clap followed by clacking of kunai together was heard.
"You two may have escaped but I still have two for my yaoi experiments!"
"You will pay Shinji, once I get my Sharingan to its highest level I will leave you in your worst nightmare for years."
"One of these loops your Eva will be Orange, I swear it will be so Orange it will make my eyes bleed, and that will just be my opening shot. Believe it... cause denial is foolish."
Both sweat dropped one wishing he was the other, the other glad he was himself and not the other.
---
Shinji looked at the robots in the hanger, granted he was glad he did not have Ranma's Bampi-kun-go mech, but his own felt too much like stealing from a friend, no matter how much Skuld assured him that its usual owner said it was ok. Somehow he doubted he gave the ok to have it rebuilt Eva sized, including an internal fusion plant that Washu promised would not go critical, and it was repainted... purple. He did have to give it to Washu and Skuld it was as slim looking as an Eva, and still had the Eva mental control system, somehow.
Looking at the other mechs he recognized an Orange/Yellow God Gundam, a Guymelef with the Uchiha logo on the front, and some sort of humanoid pink mass that he supposed was a mech. Given he knew who the other mechs were owned by he could guess who it belonged to.
Glancing at the defiled God Gundam he had to mentally give Naruto a nod. Intentionally failing at Washu academy by not answering any questions on any tests just to avoid graduating with Sakura was brilliant, Washu even granted that it was the smartest move he could have made to avoid Sakura for a few years until she graduated him anyway. It was almost a plan worthy of a Nara from Naruto's world.
Sighing he glanced at the Final machines still being constructed, he had no idea where the two mad inventors got the materials or the plans but the Black, Blue, and Green Evangelions were well under way to being made to not look like what they really were. All part of the plan to drive Gendo up the wall.
He glanced at the wall clock, well time for the real phase one of the operation. He just deeply wished that it was not Ranma that was his backup.
---
"So I just need to sit in it?"
"For the last time yes!!!"
"Fine. But I still think its wrong for you to put an UNNERV pilot in a Nerv machine. this has setup all over it."
"Enough with your made up organization. It wasn't funny the first time, and its still not!"
"Don't blame me when this blows up in your face."
As he was inserted into the Eva, unknown to anyone else, Washu and Skuld hacked the Magi, sure shinji could and has done it, but he was going to be busy and they needed extra eyes.
Silence was deafening in the control room, "Not even a twitch. 0% sync. I swear a lab mouse would do better."
"Why did the commander want his crazy son in that thing again?"
"Probably a plan to blackmail UNNERV into giving their secerts to us."
"Wait there actually is an UNNERV?"
"Umm... Yes, It stands for United Nations NeroElectronic Robotic Vinculum."
"You just made that up." Misato accused.
"Nope, I am afraid they trademarked their name before we trademarked Nerv."
Misato glared at the motionless Eva a moment before looking back at her friend, "I am afraid to ask..."
"Nerv isn't an acronym, so it doesn't stand for anything."
"That is actually worse then I thought."
Suddenly the room shook as the fourth Angel approached. Equally as sudden Commander Ikari's voice came over the speakers, "Launch 01 now."
The doctor paled, "But Sir!"
"Now Doctor, I will not repeat myself again."
Misato shook her head and headed left for the command deck. She was not going to miss the look on the Commander's face.
---
"Is this a joke Ikari? Because this is serious and you assured us Eva was ready."
"It is ready."
"That is not what I call an operational weapon!" The General yelled pointing at the screen where the eva was laying face down. "The only reason that thing moved at all was because the angel blew up the building behind it."
Ikari stared at the just arriving Misato, "I ordered you to put Shinji in 01, not launch it empty."
Misato walked up to the commander's command console and activated the speakers, only to hear Shinji screaming for help before she turned it back off, "Shinji is in 01."
"Then why is it not moving."
"He has 0% sync, he can't move it."
The General was furious, "Did you not test this thing at all? How could you not know the pilot couldn't pilot?" Silence, "Please tell me you didn't just grab a random child throw them in and launch it into battle."
The Commander desperately wished he had his gun, but no, his sensei insisted that it was bad for his appearance before these Generals, "The Pilot is my son, it was not random choice."
The Generals glanced at each other and sighed as one picked up the phone, "Plan D"
The commander's eye twitched, "Plan D?"
"We give the contract to your rival, UNNERV."
Shinji paused in his screaming inside the Eva, both he and 01 agreed, his father was loud when he was pissed.
---
Gendo was pissed, he stood before Seele and before they could question him spoke first, calmly, "Which one of you idiots sabotaged my Evangelion?" Apparently he was so angry he passed into a seemingly blissful calm.
"None of us did, even if your boy could not pilot his sync ratio should have been at minimum 10%. The fact it was 0% was something beyond our means." came from Seele 03
"Then it must be that other company UNNERV..."
Seele 01 spoke this time, "Probably but we have yet to find any proof. Had you used another child there might have been a chance of it operating."
"Need I remind this commity that it approved Third Child?"
Silence
"Perhaps I should have done what that General said and just grabbed a random child and used them."
More silence.
"We are all mad at this mess, but we can recover. The plan can be salvaged. What do we know about UNNERV?"
Seele 05 answered, beyond what is common knowledge only that there is an organization called Unseelie protecting it.
Gendo would have laughed at the irony if it had not affected him so closely. "So deal with them."
"That is not possible," Seele 01 replied, "They sent letters to all our homes and bunkers politely asking us to leave them alone. The fact that they did this to all of us and all our once believed safe locations is disconcerting."
Gendo frowned. Even Seele seemed to be comprimised.
---
It had been a long stressful year for Gendo, three of the Eva backup pilots found their way to UNNERV including the one that Seele 01 confirmed was an angel. But none of them ironically had any ounce of proof that did not implicate them in hundreds of crimes. Even the Jet Alone project was apparently bought out by UNNERV then scrapped. He had to admit it was effecient but lacked the overwhelming firepower he prefered.
He watched as Eva 04 approached Eva 01 which was equiped with a Dummy Plug. All he had to do was flip the switch and the need for pilots would be gone. He would find a new way to deal with causing Third Impact, one that allowed him to destroy UNNERV and with luck drag his son back to be retested as an Eva Pilot.
As he flipped the switch he watched and listened as music was piped into the control deck as the Eva picked up a transformer that for some odd reason looked like a top hat when it placed it on its head, and the rail line it grabbed looked like a cane from this angle.
"Hello my baby, Hello my honey,..."
---
At the UNNERV base the entire group of loopers and Goddesses were watching Gendo as his rage reached new levels just as the Eva danced its way behind the near by hill and out of sight of the Nerv cameras he started speaking, "F-f-f-fffff..."
Suddenly the world shifted and felt like it was moving, only for the loopers to find themselves on a train, the train Shinji usually woke up on...
"Well I guess that proves it, it breaks any loop if certain people have a mental breakdown." Shinji concluded
Ranma grunted, "Well that is nice and all, and seeing Gendo turn as purple as 01 in rage was funny."
Naruto swallowed, he knew Ranma well, "I am feeling a but comming, one that we are not going to like."
Ranma turned to Naruto then to Shinji, "Can either of you sense the Goddesses anywhere in this loop?" Everyone shook their heads and their stomaches dropped. "Skuld would at least say good bye before leaving, and she didn't, which means..."
Naruto swallowed, "That they are planning something and are hiding from us?"
Shinji paled more, "Or worse, They know something and bailed before they hear us beg for escape."
Ranma nodded, "For the record Shinji, this is all your fault."
They stepped off the suddenly stoped train as the system told them there was an emergancy, Naruto spotted a sign, "Shinji, you made our lives..." Ranma stopped him from speaking.
"You make this any worse, and you will live and regret it."
Sasuke asked, "Don't you mean live to regret it?"
"No."
They looked back to the sign, it had the Nerv logo, Except NERV was replaced by EIKAN.
Everyone glared at Shinji.
---
The moral is never ask Washu for favors, payback is faster then light.
Edit: I thought I should mention this, UNNERV was a name I thought of when I was trying to come up with a name to unnerve Nerv. The fact that Nerv is german for nerve (Like the nerves in the body) was just icing. Also as added sweetner a Vinculum is a tendon in a joint that limits movement and can contain nerves...
Also Unseelie was not a typo, I initally wanted to go with Seeile but I found the face that the Unseelie were generally seen as evil to be too good of a parallel to give up, the fact it seems to match UNNERV by adding UN before the name was a happy accident in the planning stage and was what tipped it from Seelie to Unseelie.
Of course since they ended a loop early they had to either go to Hoggwarts or Eikan; I figured Hogwarts would give them a memory warning, but Eikan seems like it could just sneak up on a looper.
I am not really happy with the latter half, but I had spent an hour writing and editing everything before and including the letter, everything after was an attempt to get the plot I wanted done. It stopped really being worth it at that point, If someone wants to do a rewrite of it I won't be offended.