Harry Potter hogwarts rules that you better follow

[railhazard]

369- Argus Filch being a nasty squib nearly as disgusting as Professor Snape is not a good reason to submit him to experimental treatement aiming at turning a squib into a wizard.

370- You shall not bred magical symbiotic snake which upon blending with a muggle grants to said muggle magical power and parselmouth ability to spite the pureblood inbreed bigot who share the same dormitory as you.

 

[jbcarpen]

Oh how I wish someone would write an AU Harry Potter X PokeGirls story...

It exists, I think I have a link somewhere...

 

[cgobyd]

Delete

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

That wouldn't even work for a prank, a GIRDLEof Gender could work, but a GRIDDLE?

Well, any typoes or spelling error can easily be explained by this :

IT IS MAGIC! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE.

Though, can you put beyond an unhinged(/mad) wizard(/scientist) to come up with something like a griddle of gender. Granted, it would be quite difficult to make sense.

Who am i kidding?

Error noted and fixed.

You have obviously never heard of the Frying Pan of Doom?.

Also, AJT, who exactly made up most of those rules? Since a lot of them seem to be referring to either an extremely perverted, OC girl or a normal, albeit odd, member of TFF SId into HP fics...

Not sure. It was a long time ago and I can't find the thread that spawned them anymore.

Rule 371: Harry Potter is forbidden from trying to build his own harem.

 

[Prince Charon]

Not sure. It was a long time ago and I can't find the thread that spawned them anymore.

Rule 371: Harry Potter is forbidden from trying to build his own harem.

371a: Sirius Black is forbidden from trying to build a harem for Harry Potter.

(Of course, making that rule would be more likely to cause Sirius to try to build a harem for Harry.)

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

Collorary to Rule 371:

And even if such a thing were allowed, Ginevra Weasley is not permitted to try out for any position in said harem.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Rule 372: Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy are forbidden from owning leather pants.

Rule 373: At Professor Snape's urging, no references are to be made or songs sung from the musical Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Rule 374: The Slytherins are not to be referred to as 'Wizard Hillbillies" and banjo music is hereby banned from the dungeons.

 

[JiigarGhen]

Addendum to Rule 374: Not even if the rest of the school thinks it's funny, Castor.

Rule 375: Draco Malfoy is hereby banned from the Room of Requirement. Draco, we know what you did to those poor roosters.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Rule 376: The rules of this castle apply to everyone, including Castor Malfoy. Especially Castor Malfoy.

Rule 377: You cannot steal a school bus and make an actual "Magic School Bus".

Rule 378: The Shortsheeting Charm is prohibited in student bedrooms.

Rule 379: The 'Shadow Clone Spell' is forbidden from use, especially for extra credit work (I'm looking at you, Ms. Granger).

Rule 380: Blowing up and pasting baby pictures of your younger siblings to torment them in the Great Hall or anywhere is expressively forbidden (Castor Malfoy, Fred and George Weasley, this means you!).

Rule 381: Combat butlers do not have the right to set people up on dates with the Giant Squid (I don't care what Ginny said, Castor, no means no!)

Rule 382: Hermione Granger did not invent the "Catgirl Potion".

Rule 383: Luna Lovegood is not the reincarnation of Naruto Uzumaki, and she is NOT part kitsune. So put on your clothing and take off those ears and tail this instant!

Rule 384: 'Bothering Snape' is automatic grounds for expulsion.

 

[SotF]

376. Potters Team (aka. Deaths Little Helpers) are forbidden further contact with any muggle military
b. Or NASA
c. And definitely not the NRA, for Merlin's sake this isn't the USA
d. Are you happy that you're little death ray destroyed the lake, the poor squid is now working porn just to repair his home and those Japanese "artists" are really creeping people out, including Peeves.

 

[Nikas_Zekeval]

385. Students are forbidden to spam howlers charmed to sing 'We is inbred' in unison to Slythern purebloods while at meals in the Great Hall.

386. Or any other time.

387. Not even if you get them in four part harmony. No matter HOW impressive the timing and Charms work to produce that result anyone caught doing so will have a month of detentions with Professor Flitwick to discuss your 'independent extra credit' work.

 

[Rift120]

388. Stuidents and teachers are no longer allowed to give Headmaster Dumbledore the TAU Codex...
388a. Nor is Luna allowed access to the Ork Codex any more either.

(Because tau!Dumbledore could be really funny)

389. Painting 'I am in your Base, killing your d00ds' int he slytherin common room wall is NOT funny

390. I will NOT assign theme music to have play whenever a professer entires the main hall

391. I will not try to trick Malfoy to try and Muggle Bait a military base over the summer
391a. Especially a boot camp witht he meanest DI you can find..

 

[SotF]

392. Crabbe and Goyle are not to be referred to as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum
b. Or as Adolf Draco's Stormtroopers...

 

[NanuNanu14]

393. You are not permitted to shout "The Catholics are coming! The Catholics are coming!" in Hogwarts classrooms, hallways, broom closets, or any property of Hogwarts at any time.

 

[Laniac67]

393a. The exception to this rule is if a pile of gorgeous nuns are having an orgy.
393b. If anyone even THINKS the word "Bridget" in response to rule 393a, they will be immediately expelled.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

394: There is no such thing as an Elder Wand.
394a: And even if there was such a thing as an Elder Wand, do you really think a spell as simple as Expelliarmus would be able to defeat it? Where do you kids get these ideas?

395: There is no such thing as an 'Elder Swear', either.

396: 'Potter Puppet Pals' has been banned from the school in general.

397: The song "Number One" from Bleach is not to be used as theme music.
397a: Not even if Mr. Longbottom is using it while kicking Mr. Malfoy's ass. Again.
397b: He curls into a little ball and sucks on his thumb whenever it's played now.

398: Ronald Weasley is not the red headed stepchild.

399: There is no such thing as "Naked Day", Miss Lovegood.

 

[drache5824]

400.) Fire absorbing armor is no excuse to test the Hogwarts motto.

401.) No one is to give the house elves caffeine pills.
b.) Nor mind-altering substances.
c.) Or "some really bitchin' hash".

402.) You may not tell the house elves that spit will clean anything and leave it "lemony fresh".

403.) Anybody who tries to give another cookbook written by Akane Tendo to the house elves will be executed!

 

[Eewec]

Oh how I wish someone would write an AU Harry Potter X PokeGirls story...

It exists, I think I have a link somewhere...

...

you tease!

 

[Taure]

I think the link is in the Lemon section...

 

[silentorphan]

you tease!

It's by bigdonadiet, IIRC. Look for him on Ficwad. I also think he's no longer updating it. (Or is he? I dunno.)

On a semi-aside, is this thread the TFF version of DLP's Potter Law?

 

[Lord of Bones]

404 a) Declaring eternal servitude and loyalty to the 'Dark Lord Harry Potter' is forbidden.
b) This means you; Ms Greengrass, Ms Davis.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

405: LSD is no longer allowed within school confines.
405a: And especially no more lacing lemon drops with it.

 

[Mighty Bob]

405b. That rule applies to you as well Albus.
406. The Sorting Hat is not a zombie, nor does it crave brains. Stop telling the first years this.

 

[NanuNanu14]

406b: Fire in not an approved method to destroy zombies. Fire is to be used as after-conflict disposal.

 

[elof]

361. "Playwizard" is not a real magazine.

361a. No Sirius you are not allowed to start publication of said magazine and set up Harry as the wizarding world Hugh Hefner.