Recomended Fanfiction
Dear Sir,
After such a strongly worded statement as that I felt that I had to read the entire story before giving a comment either way. Having gone through the story, I'm afraid I have to agree with the majority on how the entire fanfic is an exercise in being different for the sake of being different and just plain awful writing.
It is true, with all other things held equal, that new premises and plots veering sharply away from the original are better to read than boring rehashing of the original plot However bad execution aside, please recall if you will that this is a fanfic and subject to somewhat different rules.
People read fanfics because they like something of the universe, characters and stories from the original universe.
Fanfics thus use to a varying extent the material from the original universe in order to tell a story. It can take as much content as just changing a single character or event in the original universe and weaving a tale of the consequences. It can take as little content as taking a single character out of the universe and throwing him into an original creation.
The more material taken the easier to start though it can be trickier to execute given that you have to play within the universe and subtly change things to be interesting. This is especially true in universes such as the Nasu-verse with complicated backdrops. And where staying in universe is sometimes harder than modifying the mechanics.
The less material taken the harder to write and create because less things are defined. At the same time, while you do not have to care so much of the constraints of the universe, the better the story you have to write to get the interest of your readers, because at the extreme end, you are more or less writing an original story.
I will not bore you with the caveats or on how cross-overs work. We can spend the entire day talking about that. Even the things that I have laid out are somewhat of an oversimplification. However I will leave you with a rule of thumb. If, at the beginning of the fanfic, I rename any of the material taken from the original universe and you are unable to tell that it is from the original universe at all, then you have a big big problem.
The entire story that you have recommended falls into that category. And I have not even started on the poor writing yet. Suffice it to say, it is simply not worth any more of my time to critique the story further. It would simply end up as a MST.
I hope that this short reply is sufficient to explain our thoughts in greater detail on why your recommendations in general are less than appreciated.
Best Regards
Your Resident Insane One.
P.S. The story was really that bad.
P.P.S If you make me read another story that shocks me back into sanity I will have your spleen for breakfast.