After so many loops of being shot at, tossed overboard, mindfucked and generally getting the short end of the stick from cruel and uncaring fandom gods, a certain red-headed bitchling decided to even the score. She had Awakened late in the game, right before the Sahaquiel fight. It had taken her a very long time, but she had gotten her control over AT-Field fuckery on a level akin to the drunken Stupid Shinji and the scarily perky Wondergirl. A fact she was all too eager to show to NERV. Viewscreens turn on in unison, as Asuka Langley [REDACTED] decides to become a clone of another famous mecha pilot.
"Good evening gentlemen. I have commandeered Sahaquiel, now know as Axis, and will plunge it straight into the Black Moon's black heart unless my demands are met." She puts on a confident smirk, "You have no chance to survive, make your time."
Within NERV headquarters, Shinji drops his fifth; crying on the inside as it shatters on the floor. "Fuckdammit Asuka, why can't you just go back to wearing the bikini like a normal attention whore?"
"What are you trying to prove with this, Anzable?" the Rei Who Does Not Come From Nobody Dies mutters, a bored expression on her face.
"That I'm just as important as you two! I'm supposed to be the best, the elite pilot; but everywhere we go, I get shat on." The Angelic projectile speeds up, blazing red with heat and light. "Well no longer, you won't have [REDACTED] to kick around anymore! I'll show you all I'm not a buttmonkey!"
"Should we listen to her demands?" Maya asks quietly. Shinji chuckles, as does Gendo.
"Sure, what the hell," Shinji says, rooting under Misato's command post for her secret stash. "Let's see what the crazy bitch has to say."
"My demands are simple: the first is that I want all Awakened pilots and personnel to refer to me as the Red Comet."
"Nerd," Rei whispers.
"Go die in a hole, dolltits!" Asuka roars, losing her composure. She readjusts herself quickly. "Second, I want clearance to extract Wondergirl bodies at my leisure."
"Go for it," Rei says with a shrug, "I only need one other replacement, given how things usually end up."
Shinji raises a hand in protest. "But then I can't use those for-"
"Marital aids?"
"...Experiments."
"Hey, look at me dammit! Eyes on the German girl with the Angelic Biscuit Hammer." Asuka coughs, adding a little more spin on the rapidly approaching Sahaquiel. "My third request," she says with a slight blush, "is two hours with Stupid Shinji. Alone."
"Alright!" Shinji says with a whoop, "But only if I get to choke you. Or you put on the bandages again."
Rei grits her teeth, eyes set in angry determination towards Shinji. The NERV sensors screamed high-energy Blue Pattern right in their midst. "Idiot. Pervert. Lecher. I can't believe you."
Shinji shrugs, unafraid. Once you've stared down Tailed Beasts, Denarians, Dementors, Anything Goes practitioners, and an army of Ree, nothing really phases you anymore. He glances upwards at Asuka. "No dice, dollface," he says with a wink; aiming to hit the lowest-hanging fruit.
"Alright, that's it," Asuka growls, a demonic gleam in her eye. Sahaquiel falls faster, flung forwards by a rage-fueled AT-Field. "Everybody dies!"
"You wanna take care of this one Ayanami?"
Rei nods assent, slings a Rickenbaker bass over her shoulder. "With pleasure, Ikari-kun." She takes a step into nothingness and comes out on top of an iron-shaped building. Unstrapping the bass, she grabs it by the neck and takes a few practice swings, before pointing it towards the rogue Angel.
"This one's going out of the park."